For the Best of Our Years
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: Co-writer: E. Scribbles - Alex and Olivia are newly married. Perfection seemed in sight, but Olivia has secrets that Alex must uncover for them to truly be as one. Heartache. pain, mistrust, love of a child. Will Alex be able to prove to her that forever means forever and love her through it all? DISCONTINUED
1. Shaken Paradise

**WARNING: This chapter contains adult content that is clearly marked by tags.**

**Don't like? Don't read.**

* * *

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 1: Shaken Paradise**

Alex woke with golden sunshine blinding her. She blinked several times, then smiled when a shadow fell across her, then she smiled when Olivia hovered over her, the sheet she'd held around herself falling as she bent down to drop a kiss to her lips. "Good Morning, wife."

Alex reached out for her, pulling her back towards the bed. "I thought we would wake in each other arms-"

"Mmm, but then you'd have woken next to me with no coffee inside me, with a hangover, and that is not a nice sight."

Alex smiled, running her hands up and down the detective's back. "So? Who's to say I don't like to see my wife's doe, sleepy eyes first thing in the morning?"

"You did, that morning you woke up first and tried to wake me up with kisses and I kneed you in the stomach."

Alex kissed her cheek. "I didn't mean it. I was...in pain, if I remember correctly. You and those powerful legs of yours," she said with a smile as a hand ran up and down Olivia's outer thigh before comfortably resting on her lower back.

Olivia smiled, nuzzling her softly before kissing the corner of her mouth. "Can I confuse people now by telling them to go to ADA Benson's office? And call myself Officer Cabot?"

Alex thought a moment. "I...don't know how well that'll work where we work, but, here, at home? Please do."

"Mmm, ok, Alexandra Benson." Olivia stretched out her name, dropping a kiss to her lips.

Alex's hand gently rested on the back of her head, deepening it before turning her head. "Please don't. You know how it makes me cringe when even you call me by my full name. But...I have to say Benson sounds even better than Cabot. Why did you ask me to change it? I...don't remember. Did you not want to be the only woman with the last name...living?" she added quietly under her breath.

Olivia stroked her cheek silently for a moment before sitting up, pulling the sheet back around herself. "Do you want breakfast here or do you want to go out?"

Alex propped herself up on her elbows. "Liv, I...I didn't mean to... This whole week – until yesterday – has felt like a blur and I know I've wanted to, have it, to prove I'm forever yours, but are you really happy I took it?"

Olivia nodded. "I'm just...I know we didn't get on, but I just wish my mom had been around to see it happen, you know?"

Alex nodded, sitting up and holding her shoulders. "Of course I do. Its...not always easy to work this job and keep your morals. Somehow, we have and found something priceless along the way. Olivia, all she wanted was for you to be safe and happy. Are you right now?"

"...I'm married to you, aren't I? Of course I'm ok." Olivia smiled at her.

"But how, in what way? I don't want you to be just 'ok'. I want you to be as perfect as our new life allows. Safe, healthy, happy and...flexible."

Olivia's smile widened, and she sank into the pillow, looking up at her. "Oh I'm very flexible. Wanna try me out?"

She grinned. "I...thought we did already? We have the bruises to prove it. But I could go for another round."

Olivia smiled and pulled her close, but her stomach grumbling gave away how hungry she was.

Alex grinned. "Well, somebody's hungry. What would you like to do? Stay in or go out?"

"How about going out? You could sign your new name." Olivia slid under the covers, kissing her torso.

Alex groaned. "Sounds...great, but keep at it and...we'll never get anywhere. Well, since I'm treating, where to?"

"You're buying? Hmm...where's the most expensive place that's open for breakfast...?" As she thought, she slid slowly out the bottom of the bed, dropping kisses down her body as she did so.

Alex sat up. "Watch it, Benson. I don't know how our salaries compare."

"Well, we can always go to the greasy place by the precinct if you want..."

"You really want to show me off to everyone who said you'd never find anyone?" she asked. "We could, but...I would rather go to a nicer place."

Olivia kept naming places as she dressed, ranging from extremely expensive to the places that were likely to give them food poisoning, but Alex didn't seem to like any of them. Crawling back up the bed to her, Olivia gave her a long kiss. "Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere classy that won't leave me broke?"

"Anywhere you are will be classy. Especially if you wear..." Whatever she was thinking was lost in the next kiss she gave her.

Alex wrapped her arms around her. "I love you, Olivia Benson," she said, sliding from the bed and dressing in a matching set before pulling on a nice black shirt and slacks. "This look okay?" she asked, combing the tangles from her locks.

Olivia's eyes travelled over her. "Very. Come back to bed so I can take it off again, please."

She shook her head. "Nourishment for energy first, then..."

Olivia sighed and tried a pout, then got up.

Alex walked over, kissing away her pout, then rested her head in the crook of her neck. "We need energy for another round like the many we went through last night. When we come back, I'll lock the door and take you against the wall if you really want," she said with a smirk.

Olivia's eyes fluttered shut for a moment, imagining it, but half pulling Alex from the apartment.

She laughed a bit, taking her hand as they left the building.

* * *

In the cafe, Olivia told just about everyone what had happened the day before, talking quite loudly.

Alex kept her head down, slightly shocked. She'd never thought Olivia would want this expressed publicly. "Olivia!"

Olivia sunk a little when she saw the blush on Alex's face and sat in her seat slowly. "...Sorry. I come in here with Elliot sometimes..."

She nodded. "That doesn't mean everyone needs to know about last night."

"What?" She frowned, then a smile lit her face and she rested her elbows on the table. "Alex...much as I enjoyed it...I told them about the wedding, the other stuff involving handcuffs and everything was about an arrest Elliot and I did in a brothel a few weeks back."

Alex blushed deep red. "Oh...sorry."

Olivia grinned at her, sitting back as the waiter brought their food.

Alex picked at her plate, hungry, but not overly, eating slower than Olivia. "So...what's on today's agenda?"

Olivia, used to having to eat on the go, ate quickly then noticed Alex had hardly eaten and tried to slow down. "Ah...bed?"

"Olivia? All day? I'm not saying we'll ever be bored, but, uh, isn't there more to us than that?"

Olivia pretended to think for a long time until Alex knocked her leg under the table. "What? Oh. Ah...umm...we could go to work?"

Alex shook her head, sighing. "Olivia, if that's the only reason I have your name..."

Olivia sat back, quite fast, like Alex had slapped her. "...You know, maybe you should have worked out all these issues before you decided to take my name, Alex. I was only joking." She looked down, angrily stabbing the last of her omelet.

"Me? What about you who can't even contradict what I said?" She sighed. "Can't we work them out together? I need your input too. I need your help. Please?"

Olivia just swallowed her food, then finished her drink, waving for the bill.

Alex grabbed her wrist. "I don't want to fight, not about this... I love you, every part of you. Your good days and bad. When you smile and when you come home and kick something. Hardly anyone sees you cry, but, Olivia, I have and I'm glad you feel so comfortable around me. Why did you marry me?"

"Because I want to sleep with you all the time," Olivia spoke rather sarcastically, but when she felt Alex's hand falter on hers a little, she sighed. "I thought we'd talked about all of this, Alex, why do we keep ending up here?"

"I wish I knew, but I do love you with everything I have. It's just...nice to have some reassurance. I don't want this to end before we even have a chance," she said, her voice breaking. "Please Liv!"

"I thought marrying you was the best way I could reassure you. I love you. I don't want to be anywhere but with you. Forever, okay?" She spoke the last words gently, reaching across the table to stroke her cheek.

Alex nodded, but still looked broken. "But why do you love me?"

"Because..." Olivia looked a little uncomfortable, not one to discuss her feelings, especially out in the open, but when she saw the normally strong eyes looking sad, her heart sank a little and she ran her hand down to take Alex's wedding ring, hanging from a chain around her neck as it had been too large for her finger, into her hand, tugging it gently. "Because you're amazing. You...complete me. Without you, I would just be…nothing. I love you, so, so much. Everything about you. Even when you sing really, _really_ badly in the shower at 5am."

Alex smiled a bit. "I try, but I just don't have a lyrical voice, do I?" she asked, her hand covering Olivia's which tugged at her ring. "I should've asked before, but I was just so...happy that you wanted to marry me. I knew you'd loved me for a while, but I didn't know if the day - this ring - would be here. Then, when you asked, I just kind of forgot my logic and let my heart speak."

"It's ok, just next time...try asking somewhere we're no surrounded by sweaty, middle aged men?"

She looked around. "What do I have to be worried about? My wife packs...every day," she said with a smile as she wrote signed a check - grin increasing as she wrote _Alex Benson_ neatly on the bottom line - before tearing it out and handing it to the waiter.

"The Captain said he might have to confiscate my weapon in case I start shooting people who looked at you. Not quite sure whether he was joking..." Olivia caught sight of Alex's new signature, and noticed the fact it looked like she'd been practicing it for quite a while. "Nice name, by the way."

She smiled. "Thanks. Glad you approve and, before you ask, I practiced for like a week after you said it was okay with you if I took on your last name, but come on, you can't tell me you wouldn't have done the same with mine."

Olivia smiled. "No comment. Come on, Mrs. Benson." She stood and held out a hand to her.

Alex took it. "Gladly. I hope I never get tired of hearing that. Now where to?"

Olivia tucked her hand under her arm leading her out of the cafe. In the street, she led her through the crowds, seemingly unaware as usual at the way people parted to let her through. "...The park? Shopping? Cinema?"

Alex closed in on her. "Home?" she whispered in her ear. "You and the bedroom wall? Or is that asking too much?"

"Not home. I'm going to show you I'm interested in more than just your body, so you better pick somewhere else."

She shrugged. "Okay, the park. We can find a bench and I can lay my head in your lap."

"And I can read you poetry and feed you fresh berries and-" Olivia glanced at Alex, but seeing the look she was getting, instead of continuing, she turned her head to leave a lingering kiss on her cheek. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too. Now let's go."

* * *

Olivia picked a bench nestled between some trees, a little hidden, autumn leaves covering it, but when Olivia had brushed the leaves away, she offered to lay her coat on it for Alex to sit on.

"Aww! Thank you!" she said, kissing her cheek as Olivia sat beside her.

Olivia guided her down so her head was resting in her lap. She began to laugh quietly when Olivia wriggled a little. "Before you ask, yes, that is my gun, but I'm also pleased to see you."

Alex smiled. "Well, I hope the safety's on, lest I sneeze and injure us both. I am glad you're that happy to see me though, trust me. I'll always be happy for that. Being with you just makes me happy, no matter what we're doing."

Olivia smiled, twirling some of Alex's hair gently around her finger. "What if we're having an argument because I haven't brought the paperwork you needed? Will you still be happy with me then?"

Alex bit her lip. "Eventually, especially when you do that little sway in your step when you think I'm not looking. Sexy."

Olivia smiled, running a finger along Alex's jaw.

"It's so nice here. The wind is light, sun shining, you running your hands along my face. Can you...thread them through my hair?"

Olivia did as she asked, unable to resist stooping to kiss her gently on the lips.

Alex's hand caressed her cheek gently. "I love you. I wish we could always be like this."

"Well..." Olivia reached into her pocket, then made Alex squint as she took a photo before lying the phone on her torso. "We can now."

"Mmmm, but, with how relaxed I am right now, I might fall asleep..."

Olivia kissed her again, letting her lips linger there for a moment as she whispered her love, before sitting back, continuing to run her fingers gently through her hair.

Alex brought Olivia's other hand to wrap around her torso. "I'm kind of...afraid to...fall..." she was out before she finished the sentence, breathing deeply, giggling a bit.

Olivia smiled, one arm wrapping tightly around her, the other continuing to stoke through her air, and she sat for a long time just watching her.

A crunch of leave startled her awake as she sat up suddenly, heart pounding. "Liv!"

Olivia was in front of the bench, squatting to pat a dog, but promptly fell on her bum when Alex said her name.

Alex looked toward her, but her vision was extremely blurry and she figured Olivia had removed her glasses. "Liv!"

Olivia groaned, then a laugh escaped her mouth as she saw Alex sitting upright, her glasses sitting at an angle with a large leaf on top of them.

Alex swung her legs over, removing the leaf. "Oh there, now I can see you!"

Olivia was still giggling quietly, her shoulders shaking as she looked up at her.

Alex toppled Olivia onto her back, rolling her into the shadows. "It's not nice to laugh at your wife, Mrs. Benson."

Olivia straightened her glasses properly for her, still laughing. "S-s-s-sorry!"

Alex sat on Olivia's stomach, pinning her hands to the ground. "Calm down and we can go home."

Every time Olivia managed to stop laughing, something would set her off again.

Alex moved to her side and sat her up, hand around her shoulders. "What's so damn funny?"

Olivia pointed to where Elliot, Munch and Fin were standing close behind them, all wearing bright pink t-shirts that had 'Mrs. & Mrs. Benson' on them.

"What the hell?" Alex stood, pulling Olivia with her as she walked over. "What are these?" she asked Elliot.

"We wanted to wear them on Olivia's hen night, but she didn't want one, so we decided to come to your house today, only you'd both disappeared...so we traced her cell."

"What are they for?" she asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"...Fin?" Elliot looked at him.

He shrugged and looked at Munch. "What we were TRYING to convey is our acceptance of your marriage and situation."

Alex looked at Olivia, who looked like she might fall over again. "Thank you. We…appreciate it. I wish I could get her to calm down," she said with a sigh.

"She rarely gets the giggles, but when she does..." As Elliot spoke, he seemed to be finding Olivia's laughter catching and his voice kept catching as he tried not to laugh.

Alex nodded. "Yeah. Could one of you give us a ride back? I doubt she can stop laughing long enough to walk."

* * *

By the time they got home, Olivia had finally calmed down and was rubbing her overused stomach muscles, trying not to look at the pink t-shirt that hung from Alex's bag lest it start her off again.

Alex pushed the fabric down more, dropping her bag by the door as Olivia rested on the couch. "Are you okay?" she asked, closing and locking the door before sitting beside her.

"Sorry. Just...umm...squad joke."

"Mhm, sure. I guess your stomach is...too sore for anything?"

"What, this one?" Olivia lifted her shirt, showing her tanned, strong torso.

Alex nodded. "...But if you're sore..."

"...Maybe if you kiss it better." Olivia let the muscles ripple al little.

Alex's breath caught in her throat as she laid Olivia on the couch, a pillow under her head and pulled her shirt up to just below her bra as she gently rubbed her lean, muscular torso, moaning as it rippled under her fingers. She kissed every ab, her hands going under Olivia's back to pull her closer. She smiled. "Are they better yet?"

**START OF SCENE**

* * *

Olivia made some unintelligible noise, ending with her name.

Alex moved upward, kissing and sucking on her neck, making her gasp and clutch her back. Quickly, she discarded Olivia of her shirt and bra before sitting on her heels to enjoy the view.

Olivia lay with her eyes closed, her mouth open, completely at ease and open to whatever was going to happen to her, a rare sight.

Alex's hands cupped and gently rubbed her breasts in circles, grinning as she felt the buds peak under her hands. Her mouth captured Olivia's in a gentle kiss which got rougher as she squeezed her breasts, feeling her moan and jump.

Her eyes flickered open to watch Alex, amusement and arousal forming at the concentration on her face, watching the blush of desire work its way slowly up her neck

Alex kissed her way down her neck, one hand going under her back as she straddled her waist and brought Olivia's upper body off the couch at an angle. She smirked at her, before taking a bud into her lips and sucking on it, feeling Olivia trying to press herself to her more.

Another string of unintelligible words flew from her mouth, her hand reaching down to run through Alex's hair once more. "Fu...yo..th...sh..g...g...shit."

Alex smiled, sucking a bit harder, before releasing it to look into her eyes. "Like that?" she asked, the hand that was on her other breast ran up the side of her face. "Is this what you want?" she asked. Without waiting for a reply, she began on the other, nipping it a bit and sucking with more force.

Olivia's arms held them tightly together.

Alex continued a few more seconds before kissing down that toned stomach to the hem of denim. She moved quickly to discard Olivia's shoes and socks, but then stopped and rested a hand above the button, looking at Olivia who looked like she'd rather her clothes be ripped from her than pulled off. "Tell me. What do you want?"

Olivia looked up into her eyes, trying to form a sentence than would make some sort of sense. "I...you...now?"

Alex nodded, pulling the fabric from her legs and throwing it to the floor. "Nice little red lace, Liv," she said with a smile as she pulled them off. She got back up on the couch, straddling her hips, before pulling her to a sitting position to kiss her passionately, wincing as she felt Olivia's nails dig into her skull.

Her fingers immediately began to sooth the area, caressing it softly as she bit Alex's bottom lip.

Alex moaned into her lips, her hands running up and down her back. She felt Olivia's fingers hook the bottom of her shirt, so she let go and it landed on the floor.

"Lo..love...fuck!" Olivia's frustration at not being able to speak her desires was worked out on Alex's body in kisses, bites and caresses.

Alex moaned. Olivia's kisses were like a match to gasoline on her body. Every touch ignited a fire which grew and grew in the pit of her stomach. "L-Liv, l-listen, reach a-around and unhook m-me," she said, barely able to get the volume to be heard.

Olivia did as she asked, her breath catching in her throat as it did every time she saw her naked.

Alex smiled, waiting patiently and gasping as Olivia took her pert bud in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it. "Liv!" she moaned.

Olivia sucked with more force, causing Alex to grip her bare back. A few seconds later, she sucked on the opposite before kissing down her lean torso, rubbing her hands along it, hearing Alex's breath catch in her throat Olivia lowered Alex onto her back, discarding her remaining clothing to the floor, straddling her hips, breathing heavily as she assaulted her with harsh kisses, causing her to moan and arch into her lips, murmuring her name.

Alex's hands ran into her hair, pulling, as she kissed her neck, nipping at it, sucking at the love bites they'd made the night before. "Liv! Liv, please!" she moaned, wrapping her legs around her waist.

Olivia shivered at feeling her soaked heat leave a mark against her exposed skin. She moved back to sit against the back of the couch, pulling Alex into her lap.

Alex straddled her hips, moaning for her as their hips touched as she got into position.

Olivia held her wrists as their hips found their usual rhythm, the pace slow at first, then increasing substantially over the next few minutes. Their breathing was erratic, eyes moving from their chests to their faces. Olivia held her wrists and thrust hard into her hips, their nerves colliding. "L-Lex, come on!"

She nodded, wrenching her wrists away to wrap her arms around Olivia's neck, leaning her head on her shoulder. "Li...fu...fas...g...shit!"

Their hips collided again and again.

"Liv, Liv! God!"

"Lex...so...g...g...fuck!"

* * *

**END OF SCENE**

Their bodies gave and Alex fell against her, wrapped safely in Olivia's arms.

They lay there for a long time, until their breathing began to even out, the sunset changing their surrounds pink, orange and then a dull yellow.

Alex relaxed against her. "I love you, Liv," she breathed.

Olivia attempted to say it back, but still seemed somewhat tongue tied, and gave a quiet groan into her shoulder.

Alex smiled. "Are you always going to be this tongue-tied seeing me naked? You know, it's...kinda cute. I could get used to it."

Olivia smiled, swallowing before she tried again, "I wazle...oh god. I hope...it clears up. Could be awkward in court."

Alex just smiled, laying Olivia back onto the couch, her head on the pillow and pulling the throw blanket over them as she laid in her arms, feeling Olivia wrap hers around her.

They lay in silence until the room grew completely dark, then Olivia stretched a little, kissing Alex's head. "I love you."

Alex turned over, wrapping her arms around her. "I love you too. I'm so glad you're mine. I promise to wear the name Benson with pride and honor," she whispered as she stroked her cheek, "just like you do," she said, kissing her softly.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, our newest one! What do you think?

_Not every chapter will contain a sex scene, but I will put warnings!_

Yes, yes Cabin Fever is still going, but it's just nice to have a bit of a break sometimes.

Please R&R!

Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles


	2. Coffee and Kids

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 2: Coffee and Kids**

Alex sighed. They'd been back at work for three days now and Alex's hadn't seen or heard from her wife at all. She knew the job was always stressful, but Olivia had always tried to make time for the two of them. She had no idea things would change this much between them since taking her name.

Infidelity was _never_ a concern. Alex knew Olivia was true only to her, but the fact that she hadn't seen or heard from her in days worried her as she dialed Olivia's cell only to get her voicemail, for the fourth time in a row.

Olivia was asleep in the crib, her phone lying on the floor. She'd only managed to get one shoe off before she fell fast asleep.

Alex sighed again, finishing up the case argument before grabbing her jacket and making her way from the office to the precinct, a blanket draped over her arm.

"All right," she said, heavily, "I know you guys have been working non-stop," she said, grabbing two cups of coffee, "and I won't take her away, but where is she? I haven't seen her in days."

Elliot rubbed his face tiredly and motioned towards the crib, not taking his eyes from the computer screen. "It took me an hour to convince her, so try not to wake her up."

Alex nodded, patting his shoulder. "I'll try not to, promise."

She walked into the room, set the coffee beside her, and covered her up before she slipped her other shoe off and kissed her cheek.

Pulling the photo out, she laid it on her chest and watched her sleep a few minutes. It was usually the only time she wasn't worried about things, when she slept. And though Alex knew she desperately wanted to come home, she would stay until they either finished the case or had a solid lead.

"Finish up soon, Liv," she whispered, fingers barely stoking her cheek. "I miss you. I love you," she said, before she stood and walked from the room.

When Olivia awoke, she felt more rested than usual after sleeping on the hard slabs provided in the crib. She lay still a moment, her hands resting on the photo that lay on her chest, a half smile on her face, until reality sunk in and she stood wearily. She was about to leave the room when she suddenly noticed the missed calls that flashed on her phone. Caressing the name that appeared gently, silently cursing Elliot who must have put her phone on silent, she pressed the green button to return the call.

Alex sat at her desk, reviewing her argument when her phone rang. "Cabot," she answered, not paying attention to the ID.

Olivia smiled, warmth spreading over her. "..Must have called the wrong number, I was trying to reach someone by the name of Benson." She attempted an accent.

"Uh...sorry. Who is this?"

"Do you happen to have the number for a...uh...Mrs. Benson?"

"Um...are you trying to reach the detective or ADA?"

"Well...I can't say I'm too sure. Do you happen to know their first names? Or perhaps what they look like?"

"Well...the ADA has long blonde hair with blue eyes and the detective has medium-length dark brown hair with dark brown eyes. Maybe if I knew why you were trying to reach one of them I could be of further assistance?"

"Perhaps an address?"

"Address?" she repeated. "I'm sorry. I can't give that out."

"Are you sure? See, I haven't been home for quite a while. I appreciate you telling me what my wife looks like but I'd really appreciate you reminding me where I live as well."

Alex smiled. "Well, if you're really that worried, I could drive you home after we got something to eat."

"Well, I'm not too sure. My accents never used to fool you..."

"It has been three days, Liv. But I didn't check the ID either so…"

Olivia closed her eyes for a moment, imagining Alex sitting at her desk, glasses and a small frown on as she tried to decipher someone's handwriting.

A smile played on her lips, but then faded when she heard Elliot yell, "If you're awake, Liv, we need you out here!"

Alex sighed. "Sounds like you need to get back to work... Find me when you're done?"

Olivia was silent for a moment, and Alex had to check her phone to make sure she hadn't hung up, but then she gave a sigh. "Keep the bed warm for me."

She smiled. "You got it, so you don't want me to wait here for you?"

"I don't know how long I'll be. I love you." The last words were half mumbled, like an afterthought, and before Alex could reply, Olivia had hung up.

Alex sighed, figuring Olivia was probably exhausted and would make up for being away when she saw her.

* * *

It was another three days before she saw Olivia. Or rather heard her. She was sitting in her office staring down blankly at what Liz had asked her to look at, unable to take it in, when she heard a familiar voice doing a familiar thing. Olivia was cursing at the broken elevator.

Alex stood up, briskly walking down the hall until she was behind her. "Having problems, there?"

Olivia jumped, turning almost guiltily. "What are you doing here? One of the cleaners said you'd gone for the night."

She sighed. "Liz asked me to look at something. Liv, why are you here so late?"

Olivia stood rather awkwardly for a moment before pulling her hands from behind her back. In them was a rather pathetic bunch of Alex's favorite flowers and a new book by her favorite author, already rather bent. "..I was going to leave them for you to find tomorrow."

Alex pulled her to the side, smiling. "Why don't you come back with me? I'm bored out of my mind anyway. Just...to keep me company. Please?" she pouted.

The thought of her bed pulled Olivia towards the lift, but then those lips, that look... A few seconds later, she was lost in a kiss.

Alex wrapped her arms around her in a comforting embrace, making sure the items weren't dropped. "Olivia," she whispered into her lips, biting her bottom lip, gently pulling. "Please?"

Olivia followed her to her office, murmuring how much she'd missed her against her lips and capturing them for kisses until Alex felt they were raw.

Alex pulled away, closing her door. "Ow! Ouch! Liv!" she took the items for Olivia's arms, laying them on her desk before sitting behind it and pulling out a compact. "You know I love you, but any more and I'll bleed."

"...Sorry, but did I mention I missed you?"

She nodded, smiling. "Yes...please sit," she requested, picking up the files Liz had left on her desk.

Instead of sitting where she'd indicated, Olivia wrapped her arms around the blonde, pulling her into her lap as she sat in the seat behind her desk.

"Olivia! This isn't going to get me home any sooner!" she said, laughing a bit and kissing her cheek.

Olivia kissed her neck. "Just ignore me. You work, and I'll sit here quietly."

Alex smiled. "Yeah, sure." She continued to look over the files, jotting down notes. After three pages, she sighed, closing the file. "Well, I think I have all I need tonight," she repositioned herself in Olivia's lap, kissing below her ear. "Would you like to go to dinner? Do you...have time?"

Olivia was half asleep, her head resting gently on Alex's shoulder. "Mmm…finished case."

Alex sighed. "Should we just go home?"

Olivia shook her head, her words a little slurred. "Wanna show you off."

"But you're barely awake, sweetie. You can show me off tomorrow."

Olivia gave a wide yawn, her head resting on Alex's warm neck for a moment before she asked, a little more coherently, "What day is it?"

"Wednesday," she whispered into her eat. "I haven't seen you since Sunday, love."

Olivia groaned, then gave a louder groan, struggling to stand up, almost knocking Alex over. "I have to go."

Alex wrapped her arms around her. "No! I know you haven't slept for three days. I'll try to make it so you can come home with me...that is, if you want to."

"No...I've...got somewhere to be. I'd forgotten. I'll...be back as soon as I can."

Alex stood, kissing her deeply. "I'll wait here, okay?" she said, taking her hands. "As long as it takes."

Olivia nodded, then hesitated in the doorway. "It's a...you could come with me...if you want to."

Alex nodded, donning her jacket and grabbing the book. "Are you sure?"

Olivia nodded. "Just..It's...just..."

* * *

That was the only thing in way of explanation Olivia offered until their cab pulled up outside an orphanage, balloons outside.

Alex's brow furrowed. "Why are we here _exactly_?" she asked, pulling the door shut.

Olivia gave no reply, but it was clear she was known there, because when she opened the door, several young children ran towards her, all talking at once. A nun standing to the side gave Alex a small, pleasant nod.

Alex smiled in return, wrapping an arm around Olivia with a slightly perplexed look toward the nun.

The nun's eyes drifted towards the plaque on the wall, baring Olivia's name, thanking her for the building of the orphanage.

Suddenly, Alex felt a tugging on her leg and looked down to see a blonde girl smiling up at her, her front teeth missing. "You want some cake?"

Alex dropped down a bit. "Sure sweetie! Where can we sit?"

"We can sit in the story chair if you like." She led her over to a large armchair, sitting comfortably in her lap and holding out some of her already half-eaten cake.

Alex smiled, looking to Olivia. "Does she do this to you too?"

Olivia attempted an answer, but was swarmed once more by a new wave of children and seemed to disappear from sight.

A new nun appeared at her elbow, holding out a fresh piece of cake. "You must be Alexandra. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Alex held out a hand. "Pleasure! I...assume Olivia has told you about me?"

She gave a nod. "Congratulations, by the way. Ah, this here is little Georgia. She came to us about 2 months ago and I believe you're the first person she's deigned to sit on."

Georgia gave a large nod. "'Coz you look like a good sort."

Alex laughed, ruffling her hair. "Well, I am, but how about you sit beside me so I can ask uh...I'm sorry. What do I address you by?" she asked the nun.

"Olivia prefers to call me Katherine, so you may as well, if you like."

Georgia moved to sit next to Alex, eating her cake as she looked up at her with large eyes.

Alex offered her hand to Georgia. "I never knew about this being here because of Olivia. Would you mind telling me a bit about why it was founded?" she asked, eating slowly.

"We used to take young girls in, a sort of informal orphanage I suppose, in those days, but then everything suddenly needed to be official and we needed approval and funding and...well, Olivia was one of the first children we helped. She'd come back and visit us every so often, and when she heard what had happened, she did everything she could to help. She found us this building, she got funding. She doesn't like to talk about it...I suppose she likes to keep up her image. But we wouldn't be here without her help. Today is our tenth birthday, so we're having a party!"

Alex smiled. "That's wonderful. Hey, Georgia, I'm going to go talk with her, okay? I'll be right back," she said, standing up and walking to the back of the room, motioning for Katherine to follow. "Can I ask...? I never knew any of this. I always assumed she lived with her mother who was a chronic alcoholic." She sighed. "I know I should be asking her, but..."

Katherine gave a nod. "She came and went. When her mother got too bad, she'd come here for a few days. She doesn't ever talk about it, I only know because I was there the first time she turned up. I wouldn't push her about it. She seems happy now. And she brought you along." She turned to look at Olivia who was trying not to choke as several children tried to force feed her cake.

Alex looked over. "Should we...stop them? She looks like she's having a bit of trouble."

"She can cope. Looks like you have your hands full, anyway." Katherine looked to where Georgia was looking towards Alex with large puppy dog eyes, cake all around her mouth. "Her parents died in a crash. Her mother looked a lot like you so...I'd be careful with her.

"Careful as in...?"

"Don't let her get too attached. Try and make her play with the other children instead. That is if you're staying. Listen to me! I'm so used to Olivia appearing and jumping right in!"

Alex smiled. "We...might stay for a bit. Olivia just pulled a 72-hour though, so I'm not sure," she said, walking back over to where Georgia was sitting. "Hi, can I sit here again?"

She nodded her head vigorously again, smiling up at her. "I like your hair."

Olivia gave a cough and pretended to drink from the flowerpot.

"Thank you. Yours is pretty too! My name is Alex," she said, finishing the slice of cake, laughing as she looked at Olivia.

* * *

An hour later, most of the children had gone to bed, but those old enough to be awake were sitting around Olivia, watching a movie, although Olivia was fast asleep, rested against Alex's legs. Georgia, despite Alex's attempts to distract her, was still glued to her side and watching her instead of the movie.

Alex smiled, gently stroking Olivia's hair and cheek. She scooted back a little ways, lifting her unconscious detective into her arms, who groaned a bit. "Shh, it's okay. Go back to sleep," she said as Georgia scooted back to sit by her. "Don't you want to watch the movie?"

"I love you. I think I should come home with you. I could fit in your bag. They won't notice. I won't be any trouble." Olivia sighed a breath of warm air onto Alex's neck, her hand unconsciously searching for skin, sliding under her top.

Alex pulled her hand out, pinning it to her leg, thankful the room was dark for the movie. "Oh sweetie! You're a very, _very_ sweet girl, but Olivia and I - we work so much - I-we can't! I'm sorry! But I promise to come back and visit you."

She looked up at her, tears brimming in her eyes, before nodding. "Ok. I'm going to bed now. Bye." Without another look at her, she left the room.

Alex sighed. "Olivia, we should go now."

Olivia grumbled, feeling for skin again, but when she felt how stiff Alex sat, she sat up a little, trying to work out where she was.

It took her a long time to say goodbye, Alex waiting by the door, and in the cab Olivia looked like she was about to drift off again, her breathing steadying out.

Alex laid a hand on her shoulder. "Liv, we're almost home."

"'M glad you came. Saw m' family."

She sighed. "I am too. Wish you'd told me earlier..."

"Protecting you," Olivia mumbled, then sat up as they hit a bump.

"Why? It's nothing bad."

Olivia rubbed her face, seemingly suddenly aware where they were and that someone could hear them. She blinked several times to try and wake up, and didn't speak again until they'd reached their apartment.

* * *

Alex led her inside, one arm over her shoulder as she kicked the door closed. "Couch or bed?"

"...From me."

"...What?"

"I was protecting you from me. You...you've got this whole background, where you came from, your parents, where they came from, a whole lot of traditions. I've got...me."

Alex led her to the couch and they sat. "But you have them...and me. You have a background, it's just...shakier than others. I wish you would tell me more about it."

"You want to know more? Go talk to some rapists, go talk to some guy on a street corner so drunk he's wet himself." Olivia went to stand.

Alex stood, wrapping her arms around her. "I'm...sorry. I don't want to talk to them. I want to talk to you. Please Olivia. You've...got this whole other life that I want to share with you. Everything. You don't need to tell me everything at once. I...understand why you keep it yourself and that's okay, but I would still like to know what you want to tell me."

Olivia fought her natural instinct, to last out, to run, and looked into the pools of blue in front of her, hoping they had their usual calming effect, but tonight they failed. "...Not tonight, Alex. I need...I'm going to bed, okay?"

Alex nodded, kissing her cheek. "Take all the time you need." She dropped her arms. "I'll...come to bed in a bit. Figure I'll do a little reading."

Olivia nodded, hesitated, then dropped a kiss to her cheek as well before retreating to the bedroom.

Alex sighed, walking over to lock the door before returning to the couch, kicking off her shoes and relaxing with the book Olivia had given her.

It was clear Olivia had attempted to read it sometime over the last few days, the occasional phone number or note scrawled inside in her familiar handwriting, but as Alex got further into the book, she found her own name occasionally absently written.

She wondered if Olivia hated the hours she worked as much as she did as she turned the tenth page in, what seemed like, no time at all. She kept reading until her eyelids drooped and she fell fast asleep, the book on her chest.

_Olivia, having attempted to stay awake to apologize, fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, and she was now having an active dream. Her mother was chasing her down the street. She could see Alex down the other end, and she knew if she reached her, she'd be safe, but the faster she ran, the further she got, the father she seemed to get from her, but her mother always seemed to be at her heels, yelling at her. Olivia stopped, breathless, her legs aching. "Alex!"_

Alex woke with a start, running to the room, the book falling to the floor. Flipping the light switch, she walked over, seeing Olivia struggling in her sleep. Sitting on the bed, she took her hand. "Olivia! Olivia, wake up!"

_In her dream, she tried to reach out to her. She was on the ground now, pulling herself along, but her mother was like a weight, holding her ankles, holding her back. She choked on her sobs and thrashed in the bed sheets, beads of sweat forming on her brow._

Alex laid next to her, stroking her cheek. "Olivia," she whispered in her ear. "Wake up! It's okay," she said, trying to pull her into her arms. She fought and fought. but eventually gave in, crying as Alex held her close. "You're safe now."

A description of the dream fell from her, then slowly her childhood fears fell from her too like the tears that streaked her face.

Alex pulled her closer, rubbing her back. "Liv, it's okay. It's okay now. You're safe. I'm here, Alex, remember? Please wake up."

She continued to talk, spilling everything to the Alex in her dreams, hoping this would somehow make her come closer.

Alex could feel a few sobs break through. She'd never known anything was this bad. "Olivia, I'm here. Just open your eyes. It's okay."

Slowly Olivia seemed to wake, and everything grew quiet as she wondered what she'd said.

Alex kissed her cheek, relieved to see she was finally awake, unaware of the tears that still coated her own. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here."

Olivia looked up her silently, the same wide eyed look Georgia had given her when she'd asked her to take her home.

Alex looked away, guiltily. "I'm sorry."

"What for? What did I say?" Olivia spoke hoarsely, her hands gripping Alex tightly.

Still refusing to look at her, she replied, "You recounted your dream and...other things, but...I never should've let her get close. I was warned, but didn't listen and now I..."

"Who?" Olivia reached up a hand, touching a finger gently to her chin to make her look at her.

Alex sighed, her eyes locking with Olivia's. "That little girl, Georgia. Before we left, she...said she loved me, asked if I could take her home, but I had to tell her no because...we work such horrible hours. Our lives...we're not ready, if we ever will be. She went to bed crying and...she just-she looked like she hated me..."

Olivia wiped tears from Alex's face, tugging her hair gently. "When I first saw her...I thought maybe you'd had a child and just decided not to mention it. She will be ok. I've gone to bed crying for most of my life, and I turned out ok, didn't I?" She attempted a smile.

Alex hugged her tight, nodding, "You thought...she was mine?"

"She does look a lot like you. Same hair, same eyes, same smile. Same attitude."

She smiled a bit. "Yeah, but like I said, we don't have enough free time. Can I ask why you were crying so much? What happened?"

"Just...a bad dream."

Alex sighed. "I still think you'd feel better if you talked about it, but I won't push. Do you want me to stay here?"

Olivia nodded. They lay silently for a while, until she started to recount her dream. Most of it she'd already said, but this time it seemed more painful to say. "I couldn't get away from her. I wanted so much to get to you, but I couldn't, she was always holding me back. Like when I was younger and she'd get a boyfriend to take me out with a sled, except they'd tie a rope to it. I'd think i was flying, I was so happy, but then the rope would end and I'd go flying off, into a bush or something."

Alex rested her head on her shoulder. "That's horrible, Liv! Were you hurt?"

She shook her head. "Just...angry. I don't want her to hold me back anymore. I keep trying to get rid of her but she keeps...popping up and trying to ruin things for me, even in my sleep!"

"Maybe if you keep talking, telling me what really happened other than that, she'll start to go away. I'll never let her hurt you, not even in your dreams."

Olivia looked dubious, but she talked anyway. She talked until the sun rose and they both fell into an exhausted, dreamless sleep, curled together.

Alex wrapped her arms around her as the sun blinded her and she buried her head in Olivia's neck, kissing it. "It feels good to sleep with you here," she whispered. "I've missed you."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	3. All Day Long

**WARNING: This chapter contains adult content.**

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 3: All Day Long**

Olivia had the next two days off, and they spent most of their time talking. Olivia took her to places she'd known growing up and told her almost everything she could remember. Things were more relaxed between them than they'd ever been, both feeling like there was finally nothing to keep them apart.

When Alex woke on the third day, she was alone in bed, and there was a familiar folded piece of paper on Olivia's pillow, but inside was different to the usual. Normally there'd be a short note, an apology and her name scrawled at the bottom.

This time, it appeared she'd applied some of Alex's lipstick and kissed the paper at the bottom. No apology was written, but a promise to call her at lunchtime and tell her when she thought she'd be home.

Alex stretched, got out of bed and showered, the heat feeling almost Heavenly. She walked back into the bedroom, got dressed, and saw she had a missed call from Liz. She called her, stating the files she needed were under a huge stack and she hung up.

She walked out, washed the dishes and started a load of laundry. "Hmm, and I'm the one who never said I'd be domesticated?" she said aloud, sarcastically before going and sitting on the couch and reading the book she picked from the floor.

* * *

True to her word, Olivia called at lunchtime, or rather Elliot called. "Your missus said she promised to check in with you, but she's out helping Munch with something."

Alex laughed. "Well, at least you are! How's the case?"

"Interesting. She should be home at 5. Well, she will be home at 5, because she told the captain she'd quit if she couldn't leave in time to get home by 5."

"I don't know if she'd ever go that far, but okay, thanks for the info."

"I'll see you Monday, Alexandra." Before she could protest at the use of her full name, he'd hung up.

Alex sighed, resuming reading her book.

* * *

She'd gotten lost in her book and before she knew it, Olivia walked through the door, smiling.

She still wore her badge, gun and jacket, her wide smile looking somehow at odds with them. "Honey, I'm home!"

Alex threw her book down. running to her dramatically and throwing her arms around her and kissing her.

"How has my little lady been today? I hope you've been a-cooking and a-cleaning like a good wife should!"

"Please stop that! It's...you know what, just stop. But I am glad you're home!"

Olivia's smile widened and she pulled her close again to kiss her. "...But you are wearing a dress, Lex, and I'm wearing the pants, soo...guess that means you're making dinner?"

She sighed. "We could go out."

"You don't wanna cook for me?" Olivia pouted a little, her hands sliding down to pull Alex's dress up a little.

"I will, if you help me."

"I'm not sure I could stop being distracted, but I'll try..." Her hands managed to find Alex's backside under the dress.

She groaned, resting her head in Olivia's shoulder. "Are...you sure you don't want to go out or just order in?"

Olivia caressed her for a moment, her lips brushing gently over her cheek. "Did I mention I missed you today?"

Alex shook her head. "No you haven't."

"I missed you today. I normally don't mind going to work but today...today, I wanted to be here with you. Like this. Well, more...like this." As Olivia spoke the last couple of words, her hands slid to their goal, into the back of her underwear.

Alex wrapped her arms around her tighter, moaning a bit. "Liv."

"I wanted to be as close to you as I could. Closer than anyone else could ever hope to be." Olivia murmured the words into her neck.

She sucked in a sharp breath, kissing and nipping at Olivia's ear. "I think...you...already..."

"Got there?" Olivia asked as her fingers slid into her.

She moaned, wrapping her arms around Olivia tighter so she wouldn't fall. "Uh...huh...Don-don't move. Be my stability, just you.

Olivia stayed steady, her muscles flexing under Alex's arms and hands as she gripped onto her, her legs weakening. "I have imagined this all day. You go so weak you can barely whisper my name."

She swallowed. "What else?" she could feel Olivia's muscles flexing and she was glad she was there to hold her up. "T-tell me..."

Olivia nipped her shoulder, tightening her grip as Alex's knees went weak. "Then I'd get down on my knees and taste you."

Alex could feel her nerves tingle at the thought, her eyes rolling closed to try to keep her composure - but failing - as she pictured being against a wall, Olivia kneeling beneath her. Her breathing sped up, knowing Olivia's fingers were already drenched. "M-more," she said, barely able to be heard, "wh-what e-e-else w-would ha-happen?"

Olivia gave a quiet moan herself, her arms beginning to shake a little. "Then your legs can't keep you up anymore, you fall into me, but I hold you up as you scream my name, over and over."

She bit her lip, spinning around and backing herself against a wall, pulling Olivia to her. "Please," she begged, her voice high. "I-I want..." She pushed Olivia's jacket from her shoulders, and threw her shirt behind her.

Olivia did what she'd been thinking about doing all day. She slid to her knees in front of the woman she loved. She took her, like she'd ached to do since the moment the front door had closed. She tasted her, like she'd wanted to for days.

Alex's entire body rocked against her, loving the feel of her there. "Olivia!" she called again and again, her hands running through her hair, tighter at every crest until she physically fell forward unconscious.

Olivia's strength held her there, held her close, held her like only someone who loves someone can.

Alex's breathing steadied, still clearly out of it. "Damn..." she said, beginning to come around, finding herself slumped against her. "...you're good."

Olivia gave a quiet laugh. "Well, I have been thinking about it for the last 12 hours."

Alex smiled, looking into her eyes from where her head rested on her shoulder. "Guess I'm lucky then, huh?"

Olivia smiled up at her, capturing her lips for a gentle kiss. "Mm-hmm. And you should wear that dress more often."

She nodded. "I might have to, seeing as I have such a good memory connected to it now. I'll just have to remember to only wear it around the house. We don't want this getting in the way our jobs. It wouldn't be right."

Olivia smiled, rubbing Alex's thighs for a moment before attempting to stand, pulling the blonde with her.

Alex stood, but faltered when she attempted to walk. "My legs feel like water! What the hell did you do?" she said, laughing as Olivia pulled her to her feet.

Olivia gave a wide smile, holding her tightly again. "I did this amazing thing, you should try it. It's called telling someone you love everything. Makes the world an amazing place."

"Apparently, but now I just feel like I need to sleep, but I'm hungry. It's...an odd feeling."

"Funny, I was hungry...but I'm not anymore..."

"I...it wasn't that satisfying for you hunger...was it?"

Olivia gave another smile. Alex couldn't remember ever having seen her smile so much, as she led her to the couch. "How 'bout we get a take away?'

Alex sighed, sitting in her lap. "Great, but I thought you said you wanted me to cook?"

"You didn't seem particularly keen, and I'm not sure I could resist having another pop." Still sensitive, even the brush of Olivia's hand on her thigh made Alex give a moan.

"Liv, stop!" she batted her hand away. "Sore."

"I can kiss it better?" She offered, but made no move to, handing Alex the menus and wrapping her arms around her.

"Not going to work this time, not now."

Despite her words, she gave in easily and was forced to dress quickly and answer the door breathlessly when the food arrived as Olivia disappeared from the room, her cat that got the cream grin wider than ever.

She grabbed the food, paid the delivery guy, plus a tip and closed and locked the door. She set the food on the kitchen table and walked back into the bedroom.

Olivia was getting changed, her work clothes on the bed, a tank top in hand.

Alex walked up behind her, wrapping an arm around her taut torso and breathing against her ear. "Food's here," she breathed.

"My mouth is kinda tired, you might need to puree it for me." Olivia wrapped her hands around her back, tilting her head back.

Alex maneuvered her head just right to kiss her, deeply, running her hands up and down her stomach before sliding two into her, feeling her back arc into her.

Olivia moaned into her mouth, her knees buckling a little and sending them onto the bed.

Alex pulled her fingers out and turned Olivia over, smirking as Olivia instantly went to her hands and knees, looming over her. "What?"

"I thought you were hungry. Food's gonna get cold."

Alex gestured for her to crawl up over her. "The food can wait...be reheated, but...you?"

Olivia did as she asked. "Me? I'm very, very...turned on."

She smiled, stroking her flexed stomach muscles as Olivia gripped the headboard. "Oh, I know that," she said, encasing her inner thighs with kisses and nips, "trust me."

Olivia let out a shaking breath, looking down at her. "...Dare you to do better than me."

She smiled, pinching the nerve bundle that stuck out, licking it and feeling her shiver. "Accepted. Better hang on."

Olivia gripped the headboard tightly, her breath catching in her throat.

Alex licked and sucked and pinched the tiny bundle of nerves, making Olivia whine and moan. Her eyes locked with hers. "Enough yet?" she asked, seeing how labored her breathing already was.

Olivia managed, just, to shake her head.

Alex wrapped her tongue around it and pulled, hearing her gasp and utter a few profanities.

Still she managed to utter, "More." The word came out strangled.

Alex sat up a bit, kissing it over and over, feeling her shiver as she spread her legs a bit wider.

"More." This time it came out as more of a question.

Alex ventured two fingers in again, thrusting slowly, her tongue grazing the nerves.

Olivia fell forward, resting her head on the headboard, her mouth open as gasps escaped.

Alex pulled her fingers out slowly. "Liv?"

"MMphmmah?"

"Can I cross the finish line or...would you rather lie down for that?"

Olivia, apparently, unable to have a proper thought, just stayed where she was, her eyes looking into Alex's.

Alex firmly held her hips. "I've got you." Her tongue dove into sweet heat, swirling and, in what seemed like no time at all, she was screaming for her again and again, rolling her hips into her.

When she finally fell back onto the bed, slick with sweat, she gasped. "God. you did better than me."

"Eh, you were already warmed up. Easier for the taking," she said with a smile.

Olivia lay there, catching her breath. "I think...I need to have a shower."

"I'm the only other one here, but if you really think you need one..."

"Mmm...somehow I don't fancy sitting down to dinner covered in my sweat and your..." She gave a soft moan as she remembered before her eyes flickered open again. "And suddenly I'm very, very hungry."

She chuckled. "See? You take your shower and I'll get the food reheated and set out, okay? Oh and Benson?"

"Mm-hmm?" Olivia gazed up her happily.

Alex kissed her gently, sitting up. "I love you. Forever."

"I love you too. More than ever."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: shadow

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	4. Decisions

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 4: Decisions**

A week later, Alex was sat at her desk, stretching, a smile on her lips that she'd found virtually impossible to shift. She unwrapped her lunch and was about to bite into the sandwich when a quiet voice spoke. "Hi Alex."

Alex looked toward the doorway, seeing Georgia and Katherine. "Hi guys! Come on in!" she said with a smile. "What brings you two here?"

"Georgia was coming to meet a family. She asked if she could come and visit you. I thought because it was lunchtime, you might be free?"

Alex set the sandwich down, nodding. "Completely. I don't have court until 1:30 this afternoon."

Georgia approached the desk, placing a lollypop on it. "I'm sorry about the party. I didn't mean to be rude."

Alex stepped out from behind her desk. "It's okay. I...know you were expecting a different answer. You're a sweet, kind, caring little girl and anyone would be very lucky," she said, seeing the girl was eyeing her sandwich. She looked to Katherine. "Has she eaten?"

Katherine shook her head, then added quietly, "The family who were...they didn't show. They changed their mind and didn't want to meet her."

"Well, in that case," she looked at Georgia, "would you like to have lunch with me?"

She nodded her head vigorously, looking up at Katherine.

"I do have some things to do...so if I could leave her with you for half an hour..."

Alex nodded. "That's fine," Alex said, sitting behind her desk after pulling a chair close on the other side which Georgia sat in.

Ten minutes later, Elliot and Olivia came in to speak with her, and found Georgia sitting on her knee, eating half her sandwich and wearing Alex's glasses on the end of her nose.

Alex looked up. "Oh, hi guys. What do you need?"

Elliot looked towards Olivia, questioningly, and she gave a small shrug. "We ahh...we've just lost a file. We were hoping you had it. It's just of some photos and things. It's usually left at the precinct."

"Concerning the trial I have to be at in an hour?"

"No, just..general photos. Someone might have brought it here in a pile of other files. We hope." Elliot offered, looking towards Georgia who offered a cheesy smile before climbing from Alex's lap.

"What does it look like? I'll help look. I'm good at finding things."

Alex searched the pile on her desk, finding it at the very bottom. "Here it is!"

Elliot grabbed it from her before she could open it, looking relieved. "Thanks. We'll umm...see you later." He gave a wave, rushing from the room.

Alex sighed. "What's with him?" she asked Olivia.

"The photos were...of a sensitive nature. Involving him, Kathy and some sort of vegetable, from what I hear. You didn't tell me you had a lunch date today." Georgia sat on the seat next to Alex, pulling the crusts off the remainder of her sandwich."

"Oh, she and Katherine just stopped by. Supposed to meet someone, but no such luck. Sad."

Olivia nodded, then gave Georgia a wave and blew Alex a kiss. "See you later."

Alex smiled, catching it. "How much later?"

"I can sleep over...if you like," offered Georgia.

Olivia bit her lip.

Alex bit her lip, standing up and walking toward her. "Just a minute, okay?"

Georgia nodded and relaxed back to finish her food.

Alex and Olivia walked into the hall. "What do you think? I really hate telling this kid no. Olivia, but..."

"We can't get involved, Alex. It's not fair."

She sighed. "I know, I just thought it would be fair to discuss it before... Will you please come back in with me?"

As soon as they walked in together, Georgia looked between them and her face fell. "It's ok. You don't have to tell me. You can't have me, can you?"

Alex sighed, walking in, Olivia after her, who closed the door. "It's not fair if we do."

"Why? I don't need much looking after, I can tie my own laces, I go to school in the day.."

Alex nodded. "And I bet you're very smart, but we're just not home enough. You need...someone who's home at night to tuck you in and wake you up for school in the morning and, much of the time, we're not home. And...Olivia's there a lot. It wouldn't look fair to the other kids. Jump in anytime here."

"...But no one else wants me." She looked between them again.

Olivia couldn't bring herself to speak, knowing she'd offer to take her own.

"That's not true. You're special. You just need the right Mommy and Daddy. One day they'll come, you'll see. I promise," Alex replied, trying not to break.

She looked at her, long and hard, studying her face, before she gave a heavy sigh. "Ok."

Alex sighed. "I wish there was more I could say, sweetie."

Olivia was backed against the wall, hoping she had disappeared and her words wouldn't be heard as she blurted out. "Maybe another time."

Alex thought quickly. "Maybe the _next_ _time_ you come over, Olivia can have lunch with us too."

Olivia stayed pushed against the wall until Georgia left with Katherine, then let out a long breath. "Sorry."

Alex shook her head, leaning her hands on her desk for support as a few tears leaked. She could feel herself shaking.

Olivia approached her, her hand touching her waist gently.

Alex spun around, wrapping her arms around her, her head on Olivia's shoulder. "I-I really wish..."

"We...maybe...one day..."

She sighed. "Yeah, when one of us retires or cuts our hours. Liv, we really can't..."

"We could cut our hours. A school-age child...it could work, Alex. If we wanted it to."

"But...it's...we've been married less than a month and, like you said, it wouldn't be fair to get involved. We can't..."

"Let's just...Don't be upset. We'll think about it, ok? Talk it over, when we have time. Properly."

Alex sighed. "One of the main things is I'm gonna be so jealous."

"Of what?"

"How about having to share you when we're worked so long and hard - no pun intended - to get where we are?"

Olivia smiled and dropped a kiss to her nose. "I will always make special time for my special girl."

Alex smiled, "Suddenly, I feel so much better."

Olivia kissed her again, then pulled away reluctantly. "I better go. I'll see you tonight. We can have dinner, and actually eat it this time, Alex, and have a proper talk, ok?"

Alex pulled her close again, kissing her cheek, before stepping away. "Good luck, Detective Benson."

* * *

Olivia came home earlier than usual, slamming the front door. "Honey, I'm home!"

Alex walked out from the bedroom. "What's with the slam? Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm just desperate for the toilet." Her work things were shoved into Alex's arms and her gun was laid on top before she rushed past her.

Alex walked over and sat on the couch, laying Olivia's things on the coffee table.

A file was within them, Georgia's photo stapled to the front.

She was curious, but thought it was best to wait.

Olivia appeared a few second later and flopped on the couch, resting her head on Alex's lap with a grin, her jeans still unbuttoned.

Alex looked at her. "I think you forgot something."

"Oh! Sorry!" She sat up a little to capture her lips in a slow kiss.

Alex pulled Olivia into her lap, wrapping her arms around her, moaning into the kiss as a hand went up Olivia's stomach under her shirt. "Mmmm..."

When they parted, breathless, Olivia asked, "Better?"

Alex nodded slightly. "A little..."

"What else do you need?"

"Me? What do I need?"

Olivia nodded, a smile playing on her lips.

Alex just shook her head. "You for the rest of my life?"

"Ok. You can have me."

Alex sighed. "Liv, I-I don't know if I wanna do this anymore."

"...Do what? Sit on the couch with me?" Olivia reached up her hand to stroke her cheek.

"No...this adoption. I care about her, sure, but..." She sighed.

"Who said anything about adoption? We said we'd talk about it, Alex, we never said we'd..the file? I just thought you might want to look at it."

Alex nodded. "After dinner, okay?"

Olivia nodded, but stayed where she was, stroking her cheek gently, running a finger over her jaw. "Don't stress out about it."

"I know."

Olivia sat up a little, kissing her on the jaw, before resting back, hands behind her head. "So, is my little wifey going to make dinner?"

"Something easy...I'm exhausted."

"…Your favorite spaghetti and meatballs from that Italian down the road? I can go out and get it."

She smiled. ""Really? That'd be great. You'd be the best wife ever!"

Olivia sat up stretching again, and stood, reaching from her wallet on the table.

Alex sighed, stretching out on the couch. "I'll be here when you get back."

Olivia bent down to kiss her again before disappearing from the door.

Alex heard her half way down the corridor exclaim that her fly was open and SOMEONE should have told her.

Alex laughed, settling into the couch.

When Olivia returned, she shut the door quietly, seeing Alex's eyes closed.

Alex smelled one of her favorite foods and opened her eyes, turning her head toward Olivia. "Hey."

Olivia sat on the edge of the couch, placing the food on the table, her hair dripping.

"You went out without an umbrella?" she asked, sitting up. "You're freezing! Here," Alex peeled Olivia's wet jacket from her, then pulled her close. "You need warmer clothes on. You'll catch a horrible cold."

Olivia smiled, not mentioning the fact she'd left the umbrella outside the apartment and that she'd stood under a drip outside for a moment just to get this exact treatment.

Alex just smiled. "I do love the smell of your hair from it though. So, should we eat before it gets cold?"

Olivia struggled against her for a moment, enjoying her warmth and caresses, before nodding. Reluctantly she pulled away. "I'll get changed, you get it ready?"

She nodded, grabbing the food and walking into the kitchen. She set it on the table as she got the plates and silverware out, setting their places.

The phone began to ring, but her call to Olivia went unheard as Olivia tried to cry her hair hurriedly.

Alex grabbed the phone from Olivia's jacket, seeing it was Elliot. "Olivia's phone."

"Alex? We have a child here, asking for Olivia or you. I called, but you didn't answer...it's the girl from your office."

"She's-she's there? Why? Wh-what's going on? Liv!"

"Apparently the people she was supposed to see at lunch reconsidered and decided to take her out to dinner. Whoever was supposed to go with her was busy, couldn't make it, decided she was ok to go by herself, she kicked off at a train station and was brought here."

"Busy? What? Aren't they responsible for—Olivia Benson, for God's sake, hurry up!—Sorry about that. But aren't they responsible for getting her where she needs to be safely?"

"Someone took her to the restaurant and was supposed to pick her up, I've got no idea why she was at the station. Look, can one or both of you please come in?"

Olivia walked into the room, still rubbing her hair with a towel.

"Just a second." She looked to Olivia. "Apparently, the couple who was were supposed to meet Georgia earlier decided to take her out to dinner. Whoever was supposed to go with her couldn't make it, so she decided to go by herself and got picked up at a train station and brought to the precinct. Elliot wants to know if we can come and get her," she said, handing her phone to her.

"Elliot? Can't you call- But we...she's not...ok, yes ok! We'll be right there!" Olivia hung up the phone, giving a longing glance to their food.

Alex patted her shoulder. "It'll keep in the fridge for a bit," she said, walking over and putting it in. "Liv, we have to pick her up and take her back, I know, but maybe we could visit more often?" she asked, walking back over.

Olivia looked unsure as she pulled on her damp jacket and collected everything else Alex had put on the table for her earlier.

Alex stopped her. "You know we can't. It's not right. You were right, Liv. We can't get that involved..."

Olivia sat on the arm of the couch, looking up at her. "What do you want? If our jobs weren't a problem. If we had nothing stopping us, what would you like? Would you like to go and see her more often? Would you like her to come and stay here?"

Alex sat beside her. "I...I'd definitely like to go and see her more often...before we made any major decisions, if we do. What do you want?" she asked, wrapping an arm around her.

"...I want to make you happy, Alex."

"I am happy. I've got you. But if we did...all the other kids...? I suppose we could find a bit bigger place. But I would like to visit her a lot more before any decisions. I just...our jobs are stressful, what we see every day, especially you. Do you think you'd feel...good about it? And then there's your piece which you're required to carry..."

"Let's just get tonight over with before we start discussing my piece, Alex." Olivia stood up, rubbing her arms with a smile, before walking past her, handing her jacket to her as she opened the front door.

She sighed. "That's not what I was talking about," she said, donning her jacket. "But...are we taking her back? It'd be safest."

"Let's just see what's going on first, okay? Stop getting ahead of yourself."

* * *

Olivia had to keep reigning Alex in on the way to the precinct, her mind thinking of just about every possibility. When they reached there, Georgia was sitting in Olivia's seat wrapped in a blanket.

Alex walked up, Olivia behind her. "Hi. Are you okay?"

She looked up at her for a moment before throwing her arms around Alex's waist, the blanket falling to the floor.

Alex wrapped her arms around her, lifting her to sit on Olivia's desk. "What happened?"

"They asked me what I wanted to eat, they said I could have anything, so I asked if I could have chips because I love them, but they said I had to have some healthy, so I said can I have ketchup, because it's got tomatoes in it doesn't it? But then the man got cross and said no, I had to have salad and lamb. I don't mind lamb, so I said ok, but I couldn't cut it, and he got cross because I didn't eat the salad but it tasted funny and made my mouth burny. Then I wanted dessert but they both took my arm and said they were taking me home. I thought they meant back to Sister Kathleen, but they took me to a train station and tried to make me go on a train that said Brooklyn. I know I don't live there, so I yelled and yelled and yelled until someone came and they ran away."

Alex rubbed her back, pulling her close. "Olay. Sounds like you had quite the adventure. Would you like us to take you back to Sister Katherine? We can do that."

"How did you get here?" Olivia asked. "Did someone bring you?"

She nodded, pointing out one of the uniformed cops talking to Elliot. "We don't have to call Sister Katherine, I can just stay with you."

Alex sighed. "Sweetie, yes we have to. Someone was supposed to be looking out for you, but they didn't. We need to tell her that, okay?"

"..I guess so. Hey, you don't have your glasses on!"

"Oh...yeah. I was sleeping for a bit on the couch. I guess I forgot to put them back on." She picked up the blanket, wrapping it around her. "Come on, let's get you back."

Olivia stopped them. "Wait, let me just see what the other officer told Elliot," she said, walking over. "What's going on?"

"Looks like the couple have been seen a few times with young children. Georgia gave a pretty good description, better than other kids that have been picked up, so should be able to find them. If you're taking her back, I'll give Sister Katherine a call, she was trying to find someone to come in."

Olivia nodded. "So...what's your take on the couple? She doesn't look...abused, or harassed. She's not any more jumpy than usual."

He gave a shrug. "She didn't say anything, none of the other kids seemed upset either, just didn't want to go with them. I'll see what I can find out and let you know tomoorrow, you get her home, she's pretty cold."

She nodded. "Do we have another extra blanket?"

"Couldn't find one, but doesn't look like one's needed." He motioned to where Alex had wrapped her jacket around the girl who was admiring it.

She smiled, walking back over. "Are you warmer now?" she asked, leaning against her desk.

She nodded. "It's pretty, isn't it?" Olivia slid her jacket off, draping it over Alex's shoulders.

Olivia nodded. "It sure is. Is it warm?"

"Yeah! Are we going home now?"

Olivia wrapped an arm around Alex. "Well, it's like Alex said, you need to go back to Sister Katherine, but Alex and I will promise to come see you when we have time, okay?"

She gave a nod, holding out a small hand "Shake on it?"

Olivia held her hand out. "Deal." She turned around, hearing Elliot hang up the phone. "So?"

"She said she'd love it if you could."

Olivia smiled. "Okay, let's go!"

Alex wrapped her arm around her, whispering in her ear, "I can taste that food now."

* * *

By the time they got back to their dinner, after Georgia and several other children insister Alex or Olivia put them in bed and Sister Katherine, exhausted, requested their help cleaning up, it was after midnight. Olivia sat heavily on the couch with a sigh.

Alex sat beside her. "What now?"

"I think my stomach has digested itself."

"...We could eat out here? One huge plate, two forks..."

Olivia nodded, stretching back, her eyes closing.

Alex stood up, grabbing a plate and setting it on the table before grabbing the food and reheating it before putting it on the plate and stabbing two forks into it and walking back out. She set it on the coffee table, sitting beside Olivia and resting her head on her shoulder.

In a short time, they'd finished the plateful and Olivia was curled up to her side, breathing shallowly.

Alex wrapped her arms tighter around her, sighing. "Would you...want to adopt her, really?"

"...Let's just try visiting her for a while, ok?"

She nodded. "But in honesty...could you?"

"...I would love to adopt every child I see that's hurting. But one who seems to have a special connection with one of us..maybe she's the right one to pick."

Alex sighed. "Maybe, but I also...kinda wanted my own...after I had a stable job and was married. I know, I probably should've brought it up sooner, but now... Am I making any sense? At all?"

"Even if we adopted, that wouldn't stop you having your...our own, would it? "

She shook her head. "Of course not."

"They'd both be special..."

"Well, then...let's just settle with a few visits first, ok?" Olivia dropped a kiss to her cheek.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: shadow, jba42, NotSoNormal & Bkwrmchar

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	5. Ill

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 5: Ill**

Olivia and Alex began visiting Georgia together, then, when Olivia was working, Alex found herself visiting Georgia alone.

Now, tonight, 3 months after the first time she'd met her, she was sitting at a bar, trying to enjoy a night out with her friends, but all she could think of was that she had missed putting her to bed.

Alex sighed, having barely sipped at her drink. She stood. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I've got court at 8AM tomorrow and the presiding judge is...well, you know the type."

"Yeah, right. You just want to get home to Olivia. We saw the expression on your face when she called earlier. You don't normally blush when you get a phone call."

She sighed. "And what's so wrong with that? Don't you ever get that way?"

"Not since I was about 15."

Like she'd felt the mention of her name, Alex's phone gave Olivia's personalized beep. She opened it, seeing a message.

"I'll be home in about an hour. If you're still out, please, please bring me home something to eat. I think if I see another greasy burger I'm going to die. And if you're still out with your friends, feel free to blush so they remember how sexy I am."

Alex smiled, ordering something for Olivia as she slipped on her jacket, that subtle blush creeping. She did miss Georgia, but she decided she would rather be home when Olivia got home.

"What does she say in her messages?"

"I bet they're dirty."

"I bet they're super dirty."

She just shook her head, grabbing the bag of food and paying. "Not this time, but they can be."

"Like what?"

"I wish Olivia would send me dirty messages."

"She sent me one once. Well, sort of. She told me one of my rear lights was out. I just liked the fact she typed in the word rear while thinking of me."

She rolled her eyes, wanting to point out that she could repeat things that would have them attentive in seconds, but thought better of it. "See you guys later!" she said as she headed out the door.

* * *

When Olivia returned home, she swore softly at her stomach for grumbling, then sighed as she fumbled in the dark with her front door keys, assuming Alex wasn't home. When she finally got in, she threw her coat onto the rack, not noticing it slid to the floor as she walked to the kitchen.

Alex was on the couch asleep and hadn't heard Olivia come in. She wasn't trying to sleep off drunkenness, as she usually was after these nights. She just hadn't wanted to wait up, so when she'd gotten home, she'd put the food in the fridge and stretched out on the couch.

Olivia, assuming there was no food in the house, poured herself and drink then almost sat on Alex.

She grumbled waking and sitting up. "Food's..." she yawned as she say up, "in the fridge," she said as she turned on a lamp."Thanks for almost sitting on me."

She'd half spat out her drink, and wiped it her face with her sleeve, making Alex wonder for a moment what her friends would think of her if they saw her do that. "Why were you sitting in the dark?"

"I was sleeping! Guys were cracking jokes about...you and how dirty you were. I...didn't want to egg them on, so I left. I didn't feel too much like drinking anyway."

"I'm not dirty, I showered last night!" Olivia's words were said quiet innocently as she once more wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

Alex smiled. "One of them said you text them they had a busted taillight..."

"She did. I just sent her a message and said her rear light was out. What's dirty about that?" Olivia walked into the kitchen.

Alex stood and followed her. "Uh, okay, that makes this a bit more awkward, but let's just say, maybe, you shouldn't have used the word rear..."

Olivia bent to get her food from the fridge, then turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow. "Really? If she thinks that's dirty, I'd hate to hear what she'd have to say about the messages I send you sometimes."

"Yeah, me too. But you're home now, so..."

Olivia put her food into the microwave without even checking out what was in it, her eyes on Alex. "Are you ok? You look...pale."

She nodded, rubbing her eyes and walking over to wrap her arms around her. "Yeah, just...glad you're home. I do miss tucking her in though..."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, kissing her forehead, trying to work out if she had a temperature. "You feel warm. Miss tucking who in?'

"Georgia," she whispered. "Okay and, maybe, I'm not feeling the best either. I'm just..." she sighed.

"You could always call her if you can't get there, Alex. How about you go and have a bath? "

She shook her head, beginning to sweat a bit. "Think I just need..." she couldn't finish her sentence before she passed out.

Olivia caught her, lifting her in her arms to lay her on the couch once more. "Alex? Lex?" She pulled out her phone.

"Mmmmmm..."

Olivia looked through the contacts on her phone, hesitated, then called Melinda.

Her eyes opened weakly, grabbing for her hand. "What's going on?"

Olivia kissed her forehead, giving her a smile. "It's ok, just stay where you are. Melinda? It's Olivia." She moved to stand a little way away from the ADA, describing what had happened to her.

Alex attempted to sit up, but fell back onto the couch coughing.

"She's coughing now. I don't...no, I just got home. Should I take her to the hospital or..."

Alex sat up, leaning against the couch, not even registering what Olivia was saying.

A few moments later, Olivia was by her side again. "Do you think you can get up or do you want me to carry you?"

Alex looked at her. "Where?" she whispered. "What's going on? I was okay when I got home."

"There's been an outbreak of...something. We need to get you to the hospital."

"I hope you don't..." she broke into a coughing fit again, shaking violently.

Olivia picked her up, kissing her forehead again.

* * *

Alex passed out several times on the way to the hospital, and wasn't sure what was going on or what anyone was talking about until she was wheeled into a room and she saw a toy resting on the other bed. Georgia's toy.

"Liv?" she asked. "Where are you?"

"I'm here. Next to you." Olivia squeezed her hand.

"Sorry. Guess I'm just...that toy looks...very familiar."

Olivia glanced towards Sister Katherine who sat next to Georgia's bed, their eyes met for a moment, but neither of them spoke. Olivia just continued to stroke Alex's head as the doctor looked her over.

Alex leaned against her, hugging her. She knew something bad was going on.

People kept trying to get Olivia to leave the room, but she refused, and eventually the traffic slowed down and Alex began to feel drowsy.

When they'd finally gotten Alex into bed and got antibiotics in her and her eyes closed heavily for sleep to fight the virus, Olivia let go of her and walked to Sister Katherine. She stood next to her. "Katherine?"

She lifted her eyes from Georgia's pale face.

"I just...took her to the doctors. She had a cough. They said bring her in straight here. No one will tell me anything. I had to argue for over an hour before they'd let me in here."

Olivia looked to Alex. "It's...some type of virus that contagious for 24 hours which is probably why Alex got it, but I didn't. They're not exactly sure what causes it...or how severe it is. The doctor said it isn't deadly, but they'll be in here for a few days. I don't know if it affects Georgia more, being as her body is smaller. I know it has to be something in the orphanage, so I sent a few of my friends to check for environmental causes. We'll fix this. Promise."

Katherine nodded, looking down at Georgia who suddenly looked tiny. "She was so scared. She was worried she'd die like her parents, that she wouldn't be able to say goodbye to the two of you."

"I thought they died in a car crash..."

"...They did, but done on purpose. With her in the car."

Her eyes got huge. "On purpose? H-how do y- why?"

Katherine sighed. "No one knows. They just put her in the car and…she didn't get to said goodbye to her friends or anyone."

Olivia sighed, laying her hand on Katherine's shoulder. "I can't even begin to... At least I know."

"Olivia," Alex said weakly.

Olivia moved back to her side, putting a cool hand on her forehead and sliding her other hand into hers.

"What's going on?"

"You decided you didn't want me to eat my dinner, so you got sick." Olivia kissed her forehead.

Her blue eyes were dull and overly tired as she turned her head to look at her. "Yeah, but I meant medically. What's wrong with me?" she asked, squeezing her hand.

"Just a virus. You're going to be fine. I promise. Just get some rest."

"Will you stay?"

"You know I will."

Alex pulled her closer, hugging her tight. "Sit by me?"

Olivia sat next to her, keeping tight hold of her hand, watching her until she fell asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: shadow, jba42, Bkwrmchar & Anon

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	6. Possibilities

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 6: Possibilities**

Alex had been asleep for most of the night, the meds they'd given her doing a superb job of keeping her out. She hadn't felt light-headed or fainted in, what she figured was, the past three hours. Olivia had stayed, but then Elliot had called with a case, so she'd kissed her goodbye and whispered she'd be back as soon as she could. She was now awake, her stomach causing hunger pains.

The room was dark and the only sound was medical equipment of the occasional doctor or nurse who either walked in or past.

Georgia hadn't made a sound all night. Alex wasn't particularly worried. If the meds knocked her out, she didn't have to wonder about the kid. She suddenly heard whimpering which perked up her senses.

It was quiet for a few seconds, then the whimpering noise sounded again. "Sister Katherine?" Georgia asked in a small, scared voice.

Alex tried to look, but the room was too dark. "She's not here, sweetie," she said, sitting up and pulling her curtain back.

Tears trickled down Georgia cheeks. "Who are you? Where am I? Am I dead?"

Alex carefully hit the light switch beside her bed before swinging her legs over the side and grabbing her IV pole and walking over to sit in the chair beside her. "No, sweetie. It's Alex," she whispered, laying a hand on hers. "We're both sick, but we're gonna be okay. Can you open your eyes for me?"

Her eyes flickered open and she looked up at Alex with large, round, terrified eyes.

Alex laid her head on her bed. "Shhh, we've got some kind of flu. It's gonna be okay. I promise. Sister Katherine brought you here after you went to the doctor."

She reached out a hand for her teddy, and another for Alex's hand to hold it tightly.

Alex took it. "Aw! Is he your favorite? He's so soft!"

"Sister Katherine gave him to me. You can hold him for a while, if you'll stay with me."

"I'll sit right here. You hold my hand and try to sleep, okay?" she said, taking the teddy bear in her lap. "He looks tough, like you. Is he?"

She looked down at the bear and gave a small shrug. "He's my only toy, everything else I have to share. He's all I have in the world now, so I guess he has to be."

"What about me and Olivia and Sister Kathleen and Katherine? We all care about you."

"But you're not mine, are you?"

Alex sighed, shaking her head. "No, I...guess not, but don't we count? We kept our promise."

"I guess so." She began coughing, the movement wracking her body.

"Lay down," Alex instructed, laying the bear beside her as she pressed the CALL button and went to lie in her own bed, facing her. "I'll be right here, okay?"

* * *

Olivia returned several hours later, still not having eaten or slept. She walked into the now bright room quietly.

Alex's eyes met hers, reaching for her, tears brimming. "Th-they took her to ICU about two hours ago. I-I feel okay, but..."

Olivia moved towards her, hugging her and the bear she still held tightly. "I'll go and try to find something out, ok?"

Alex shook her head. "N-no, please. Please stay!" she said, hugging her tightly, "I'm sure Sister Katherine was notified. Please!"

Olivia sat on the edge of the bed, holding her tightly, rocking her gently. "It's ok. I'll stay right here. Try and get some sleep.

Alex nodded, inhaling the smell of her shampoo. "How are you?" she whispered.

"I'm fine. Perfect, now I'm here with you." She turned her head to kiss Alex's hair.

Alex sighed. "You look exhausted. Lay with me? You might get a little sleep," she said, switching off the light.

Olivia lay on the edge of the bed, keeping a tight hold on Alex. Knowing she wouldn't sleep, she did it to reassure the blonde.

"Liv? Is she gonna be okay?"

"Of course she is. Get some sleep." She didn't mention she'd seen a white-faced Sister sitting outside a few minutes earlier.

Alex snuggled into her, feeling much better than she had in Olivia's absence. She wasn't coughing. She wasn't feverish or sweating, just weak and tired. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too." Olivia held her closely and kissed her head. "Now go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up.'

* * *

The next thing Alex's brain registered was more painkillers. She opened her eyes to see the doctor staring at her. "Hi. She, uh, she got in late and..."

The doctor gave a smile and motioned to where Olivia, who'd moved to the chair next to the bed, was fast asleep, snoring a little, hugging the teddy bear tightly to her chest.

She turned toward her. "Really late. So...am I beating this thing or what?"

"You're doing great."

"What is this? I feel better, but I'm kinda hungry. And I'm sure she'd say the same thing."

Thinking of Georgia caused an odd feeling that she was afraid to ask about. She had a feeling Olivia knew why.

"You've missed the breakfast rounds, but I'm sure I can find something for you."

She smiled. "What time is it?" she asked, yawning as she rubbed her eyes.

"Just after 11. I'll get one of the nurses to bring you something, and I'll be back in to see you shortly." As he left the room, Olivia began to wake.

Alex sat up. "Morning. How'd you sleep?"

"I wasn't asleep. I was ...resting my eyes."

She rolled her eyes, putting on her glasses. "And I suppose now you're going to tell me your eyes snore?"

"It was probably someone in another room throwing their voice."

She shook her head. "Did you get scared and need to sleep with a teddy bear?"

Olivia looked down then looked back at her with a guilty smile. "Alright fine, you caught me."

She nodded, but bit her lip. "Liv..."

Olivia looked away. "Have you eaten?"

She shook her head, patting beside her. "They'll bring us something. I know...something happened, but I don't want to know what right now. How was the case last night? Did you finish it?"

Olivia nodded, but nothing else was forthcoming.

Alex opened her arms, hoping Olivia would come over. "You don't need to explain. I'm...sure we'll find out."

"I already...after you fell asleep..."

She nodded. "I figured you... so what?" She swallowed the thick lump in her throat.

"She was younger than you...smaller...not in the best of health anyway..."

She nodded, over and over, hoping it would keep the tears away, but luck wasn't on her side as she covered her face.

Olivia suddenly realized what her words had sounded like, and reached forward to take her hand, pulling one away from her face so she would look at her. "Alex, she's not...she's still here. She's a few rooms away. They've put her in an induced coma. They're hoping it will help treat her better."

Alex looked at her. "Really?" she sniffed.

"Yes. She told Sister Katherine she needed you to look after her teddy for her. Hence the fact I've been hugging it all night, apparently."

She nodded, hugging her tight. "I'm SO glad she..."

"You'd think she'd go anywhere without trying to pester us into letting her live with us?'I'm so little, I could sleep in your bath, I don't mind.'" Olivia mimicked her with a smile.

"It's not like it wouldn't work...someday. Olivia, can we? I know it'll change everything so fast, but... I do love her. And maybe, somewhere, down the road..."

Olivia almost shared the moment when she'd held the weak, terrified girl in her arms and promised her when she got out of hospital she could live with them forever. "One day."

"I'm...not exactly talking about her..."

"Who then?"

She shook her head. "Can we focus on one child at a time?"

Olivia smiled. "I don't know. Why not go all out and take on 5 at a time?"

She smirked. "Five? I think its a bit much. Especially for me to—"

"You to what?"

"You know what? Let's just focus on her, okay? We can talk about ours - if - later. I'm thinking way too far ahead I know..." she looked down. "And I haven't even really asked you..."

"What, you think I'd say no to having a baby with you? You must really think I'm completely mad."

"No, that's...not it, but with how unpredictable our lives are. Like-like i-if you died on the job, I..."

"Then you would have a reminder of how amazing I am running around and wiping snot on your sleeve. Alex, just..relax and stop worrying about things in the future that might not even happen."

She nodded. "I know, but it's possible, no matter how much I hate it."

"But right now, I'm sitting here beside your bed in a hospital, not the other way around, so you don't need to think about it now. The most worrying thing you should be thinking about is where you're going to put everything from your study when we clear it out so Georgia can have her own room."

Alex wrapped her arms around her. "Have you mentioned it, at all, to Sister Katherine?"

"Last night. She's talking to lawyers for us."

She smiled. "I hope I'm out of here soon then."

"Better work on it then."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: jba42 & Bkwrmchar

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	7. A Kiss to Quiet Fear

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 7: A Kiss to Quiet Fear**

Alex was sitting on the couch shouting directions at Olivia. Just released from hospital, she was still weak, but excited about tackling a new bedroom and insisted, within the hour of entering the front door, that Olivia begin moving things.

Once Georgia had been woken, they'd spent long days discussing what color they were going to paint the room and Olivia was given so many orders by both of them she was considering just buying a new place.

"Hmmm, I guess I could get a new bookshelf and stock this with things for her. What do you think?" Alex asked.

"I think if you imagine I can move that bookshelf, you've overestimated how strong I am."

Alex shook her head. "I didn't mean move it. Empty it. I can find a smaller one for our room." She patted beside her. "Care to sit?"

Olivia flopped herself onto the seat and rubbed her sore arms.

Alex smiled, taking the task of rubbing them herself. "Sore? I'm sorry, really. I'm just...so excited and I want this to be perfect. Although, we might want a bigger house with three bedrooms someday..."

Olivia groaned. "I thought you promised to take things one step at a time. At this rate, you're going to go out one night by yourself just to get pregnant."

"Sorry, sorry! I promise I won't! I love you too much!" she said, kissing her shoulders. "I wish I still wasn't so weak..."

Olivia turned her head to give her a gentle kiss, then stood up. "Alright, keep telling me what to do. We better get this sorted before there's two of you sitting there telling me what to do."

Alex stood on wobbly legs to pull her back down. "Take a break, Liv. I can help you relax," she breathed the last word into her ear.

Olivia smiled, a sigh escaping her lips. "How about you just stay there and I make you a cup of tea instead?"

"Tea? I would much rather be occupied by you, but I guess..."

"The doctor said mostly bed rest and no exercise. I'm not going to be the one responsible for you getting sick again, Alex. So tea it will have to be."

She nodded, kissing her cheek. "Fine, until I'm better, but once I am and I get you through that door…" A devilish smile appeared.

Olivia smiled, growling a little and nipping her neck before disappearing to the kitchen.

Alex smiled, wrapping the blanket from the back of the couch around her.

* * *

At their set time that evening, Georgia called, talking excitedly. "They said I can leave next week!"

Alex smiled. "That's great! How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Will I have a big bed at your place with proper pillows that are all my own?"

"Yeah, you will. We already have a bed picked out. We'll take you with us to pick out sheets and bedding once you get out? And pillows."

She gasped. "Really? Can I have pink? Bright pink?"

She nodded. "Mhm. Are you exited?"

"Really excited. I've made you and Olivia a special present to say thank you."

"Awww! That's sweet!"

"Sister Katherine said you won't be able to come and visit me while I'm here, but I don't mind. Olivia said she will come by after work every day."

"Yeah, I'm still recovering. It's no fun, but I'm glad you're feeling better and your teddy is too. He's been by my side every night."

"I've decided to name him Benson, do you like it?"

She laughed a bit. "So there'll be four of us in the house then?"

"...Do you already have a child? There's you, Olivia...but my last name is May."

Alex sighed, remembering her promise to Olivia. "No, I-we don't. Olivia's last name is Benson. Mine used to be Cabot, so if you ever come to work with me and can't find me, if you ask for Cabot someone will find me."

"Why?"

Olivia, who'd decided to make dinner for Alex on her first night back, swore and dropped a hot pan in the kitchen, then swore again loudly when it hit her foot.

"Because that's how everyone knows me," Alex said, walking out into the kitchen. "Olivia, are you alright?" she asked, walking up behind her,

Olivia stared down at the burnt food, then looked towards Alex. "Italian?"

Alex nodded. "Sweetie, I think you should get to bed, okay? Olivia will be in to see you tomorrow night."

"Ok. Give Benson a kiss from me."

"Absolutely!"

Olivia bent to begin cleaning.

Alex pulled her back up, shaking her head, seeing the large red welt on her foot. "We love you," she said.

As Georgia hung up, Olivia went to clean up again.

Alex, closed the phone, walked over, putting ice cubes in a bag and setting it on Olivia's foot, hearing her hiss. Alex stood again, pulling Olivia to her. "Poor foot."

"I burnt your meatballs."

Alex kissed her cheek. "I'm more concerned about you. Anything else burned?"

Olivia shook her head, hissing again when Alex moved the ice.

Alex sat her in a chair lifting her foot to place it on the one beside it as she put the ice back on it after kissing it gently. She grabbed a few towels and cleaned up the spilled food before pulling a chair over to sit beside her. "I love the gesture, Olivia, since I'm usually the cook, but we could just order in tonight," she said caressing her cheek.

Olivia gave a sigh, looking at the ruined food. "But I wanted...if we...when we have kids, when Georgia's here, we can't always have take out and you won't always be here to cook."

"You can, but do you really want to risk burning your other foot? You can cook tomorrow night if you want."

Olivia sighed once more before giving in.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. I'll go out and get the food. You sit here and look tempting until I come back. And don't go out and get pregnant."

Alex laid a hand on her shoulder. "If I said something, I'd appreciate knowing what it is that upset you."

Olivia sighed, looking down. "I can't cook. I hardly ever clean, I carry a gun...how can I live with children?"

Alex wrapped her arms around her. "Get things that are easy to cook. I'll do a majority of the cleaning – if you help out with laundry once in a while – and we'll teach her. We'll tell her they're very dangerous and you're the only one who can even touch it. Does...that work? Or...Olivia, do you want this or do you want this because I do?"

"I want...I want...you."

"And you have me. Forever. Every piece of me, but don't you want a family too, somewhere deep down?"

"What if I ruin it?"

"You won't. We have an opportunity to give Georgia something she never thought she'd have Olivia: we can love her. We do so much work involving kids where their parents abuse and neglect them. We're not like that. We'll love her, protect her, keep her healthy and strong. That's what everyone wants..." she choked. "I-if you don't think you can do that..."

"You'll leave?"

Alex held her tighter. "No, it's our life. Maybe...we can have her live here for a set period of time... Liv, I love you. I'm not going away. You don't want that...do you?"

Olivia shook her head. "And I do want her here, for always. I would love a house full of children running around...but always...at the back of my mind, no matter what anyone says, I will wonder if I'm like my parents."

"Liv?"

"Don't say I'm not like them Alex..."

Alex stroked her cheek then kissed her slowly, passionately, her fingers running though her hair, waiting for a response.

Olivia gave in a lot sooner than she used to, her body moving to Alex's as a sigh escaped her lips.

Alex kissed her again and again, softer each time, but the passion was still there. "Olivia," she whispered.

When they finally parted, Olivia had a smile on her face once more.

"They never EVER could've done that. I'll protect you from them just like I do now. Do you understand? Do you believe me?"

Olivia nodded, dropping another kiss to her lips. "I love you."

Alex hugged her tightly. "I love you too. Now, about dinner, can you walk?"

"Excuse me? You do remember the day I left hospital an hour after being shot. A little burn is nothing."

Alex smiled, lifting the ice and seeing the skin begin to blister. "Okay, hold on." she grabbed the First Aid kit from under the sink, throwing the bag away. She gently placed a gauze pad over it and wrapped her foot. "There. Walk on that, but be careful."

"Yes, doctor."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: jba42, Bkwrmchar & NotSoNormal

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	8. Pink Lollipops

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 8: Pink Lollipops **

Alex was still home recovering from that stupid virus. If someone needed a warrant they actually stopped by and explained why, but Alex had the feeling they were checking up on her more than wanting it signed, as Liz had another ADA under Alex who would be there until she returned.

She and Olivia had picked out books and toys and tacked loaded a net above the bare bed with stuffed animals from zoo-related to domestic.

Alex was working on arranging the books on her small shelf in their bedroom now while Olivia was grabbing a few last-minute trinkets.

She hadn't really been sick since she left the hospital except for the cough that was slowly dissipating day by day with antibiotics. After she was finished, she walked into Georgia's room and opened the hot pink curtains to let the sun shine in.

Olivia had been at the shop, trying and failing to remember what Alex had asked her to buy when she got an excited call from Georgia, telling her the doctor said she could go home. The phone was quickly taken over by Sister Katherine who insisted Olivia didn't need to come until the next day, like they'd arranged, but thinking of the room and the smile it would bring to Alex's face, Olivia drove to the hospital.

She now stood outside her apartment, slinging a small, pink backpack on her shoulder as a pale yet apparently hyper Georgia stood next to her. "Go and press the button that say's Benson. Alex should answer."

Seconds later, Alex's voice could be heard over the intercom. "Hello?"

"Guess who?" Georgia let out a giggle.

Smiling, played along. "Uh, hmmm, who do I know with that voice?"

"It's not Olivia, and it's not Sister Katherine." Georgia giggled again, leaning back against Olivia.

She laughed, accidentally became caught in a fit off coughs, hitting the button. "Okay," she said, backing away as she tripped and fell to her knees. "N-n-ot th-this a-a-again!" she tried to stand, but it just wracked her body too much. She crawled to the couch and took a sip of water.

A few moments later, Georgia ran through the door, throwing herself onto Alex. Olivia followed at a slower pace and dropped the backpack by the door.

Alex tried to get a breath, but couldn't. The water hadn't helped, neither did Georgia's strong grip. "L-L-Liv! H-help!"

Olivia went to pull Georgia up, but this caused her to have a coughing fit, her arms relaxing their grip as it wracked her body and just rested against Alex. Olivia, trying to remember what usually helped, slid in behind Alex, making her sit up a little as she rubbed her back.

Alex barely managed to take a breath. "Th-thank you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around Georgia and sitting her upright. "It's okay. Calm down and try to take a deep breath." She rested against Olivia. "I thought she wasn't coming until tomorrow?"

Olivia dropped a kiss to Alex's neck, a move which normally relaxed her. "They discharged her early. We wanted to surprise you."

Georgia managed to give her a smile.

Alex smiled. "Oh, you surprised me all right! Now, how about we go and pick out a couple sets of sheets? But you might want to take a look in your room first, I suppose?"

She nodded, still resting against her as she caught her breath.

"Are you okay?" she asked, rubbing her back.

She nodded, a few tears springing to her eyes from the strain of coughing. Olivia, fearing touching her again after making her cough, stayed silent.

Alex reached up and wiped them away with her thumb, kissing the top of her head. Then she grabbed one of Olivia's hands that was resting on her stomach and rested it on Georgia's back, giving her an understanding look from the corner of her eye as her hand laid on top and she laced their fingers.

Olivia's hand stayed still, but eventually began moving in the patterns that the doctor had told her would ease Alex's coughing, and it seemed to work for Georgia too, who, after a few minutes, turned her pale face towards them. "Can I see my room now?"

Alex nodded, standing with Olivia's help – as it had taken a lot out of her – and they led her to the room, showing where their room was as well as the bathroom along the way.

She just stood in the doorway of her room, staring at it. As Olivia was about to ask her if she liked it, she turned to look at them. "It's all mine? Everything?"

Alex rested on one knee, nodding. "Do you like it? Benson's up at the top of the toy stack watching everyone, to make sure you're safe, but I bet if you asked really nicely, Olivia would get him down for you."

She looked towards Olivia, who gave a nod and then moved forward to get him, sitting on the edge of the bed. Georgia took Benson into her arms, then looked back towards Alex, who, she felt, seemed more in charge. "We can go and get sheets now. Pink ones."

She nodded, leaning against the door. "Lead the way," she said as she offered Olivia a hand up, smiling brightly, hugging her tightly. "Thank you," she whispered.

* * *

At the store, Georgia held Alex's hand tightly, seemingly worried that she would disappear. Olivia walked a little way behind them until she suddenly reached out and took her hand as well.

Georgia studied what was on display, then turned to Olivia. "Do you like Pink?"

"I...well...yes."

Georgia gave a nod, then looked towards Alex. "Does Olivia ever talk lots like you and me?"

Alex smiled, nodding. "Yes, she's just...a little nervous. She doesn't have any brothers or sisters she had to help take care of, so... Just give her a bit. She loves you. She's just not used to expressing too much emotion," she looked to Olivia and bit her lip. Lying would get them nowhere with her and both of them knew that. What she'd just said was the truth. She only hoped Olivia wouldn't look down on her for it.

Olivia blushed a little, but smiled when Georgia squeezed her hand. "It's ok. I'll teach you."

Alex smiled. "Now you two, pick some things out."

By the time she'd chosen things, Georgia was almost asleep on her feet, having spent several weeks mostly lying down.

Olivia carried the sheets they'd let her pick out, Alex held the throw pillows and both hand a hand in hers as they drug her to checkout. "Here," Alex said, "I'll take the sheets, you take her. Doesn't look like she can stand much longer. Poor girl."

Olivia looked hesitant, scared even, but as Georgia raised her arms, she bent to pick her up. The girl wrapped her arms loosely around her neck and closed her eyes. Olivia looked quite pleased with herself.

Alex nudged her, smiling. "See? You're fine. It'll take time."

Olivia smiled, resting against the checkout as Alex paid.

The cashier smiled up at her. "Your daughter is gorgeous."

Alex smiled, brushing her golden locks behind her ear. "Yes, she is. Thank you!"

Georgia gave a sleepy giggle, offering in a mumble. "I got two mummies."

The cashier smiled. "Well, then, your double lucky," she said, waving a loli in front of her. "Would you like one?"

She contemplated it for a moment, but shook her head. "I can't take lollies from strangers. Olivia said."

She smiled. "She's very smart. Olivia? Olivia Benson?"

Olivia turned her head to look at her, trying to work out if she knew her. "That's me."

She smiled. "I'm Selene Zoe. You...handled my daughter's kidnapping case a few years ago. If it hadn't been for you and your partner, I never would've seen her again. She's...doing well."

The case came back to Olivia, although her strongest memory of that time seemed to be that she was fighting with Alex about something. "Oh. I'm really glad to hear that."

Alex smiled. "I thought you looked familiar," she said, swiping her card. "It's good to hear she's doing well."

Georgia's eyes suddenly got huge. "If you know her, does that mean I can have the lolli?"

Olivia's first instinct was to say most of the people she knew were the people she shouldn't take lollies from, but instead, after a glance to Alex, she nodded. "I guess it does."

"Yay!" she smiled, taking it and putting it in her mouth. "Thank you!" was horribly slurred.

* * *

By the time they got home, arms heavy with things, Olivia was the only one awake enough to unlock the door.

Alex walked in with Georgia and sat on the couch, pulling the lolli from the sleeping child's mouth. "Will you go make up her bed, please Olivia? I've...kinda got my arms full."

Olivia did as she was asked, pulling the bright pink sheets from their plastic covers, and smiling a little at the fairies and butterflies that covered them.

Alex gave her a few minutes before walking back with her and laying her in bed. Georgia's eyes opened heavily.

"Will you tuck me in, Olivia?" she asked in a tiny voice.

Olivia looked towards Alex once more and, at her nod, she attempted to do something she'd never done to herself.

She giggled a bit as Olivia tucked it tight up under her chin, smiling at her. "I like this already..." she said, drifting off.

Alex put a hand on her shoulder. "Let's go start dinner, okay?"

Olivia followed her, asking anxiously whether she'd done everything right, whether there was anything else she should have done.

Alex turned around in the living room, hugging her tight. "Don't worry so much. If you do things differently, it doesn't make them wrong, Olivia. If she wants something done differently, she'll probably tell you."

Olivia sighed, relaxing into her arms and resting her head on her shoulder.

"I hope I wasn't out of line earlier. I just didn't think you wanted to answer her. It'll get easier, I promise," she said, kissing her lightly.

Olivia could feel Alex's tired muscles shaking, and caressed her back for a moment before pulling back. "How about you direct me and I make dinner?"

She smirked. "Think you're up for the challenge?"

"If you're behind me, I think I can do just about anything." Olivia smiled at her.

She smiled again. "Be careful, there's a kid in the house now," she said leading her out by the hand.

* * *

Half way through making dinner, Olivia almost gave up, getting frustrated that everything wasn't going just the way she wanted it to, but Alex, and Georgia who had woken up and was sitting with tousled hair encouraging her.

"It smells good! What are you making?"

"Ah...something that probably won't taste like what it is."

She smiled. "Don't you cook? Or does Alex?"

Olivia suppressed a swear word as a pot bubbled over. "Umm...I eat take out. Alex cooks."

She patted her hand. "I bet you'll get better the more you practice!"

Olivia caught Alex's eye and they shared a smile.

"You may need to turn the heat down a bit. That way it won't bubble over as easily. It'll cook, but take a bit longer," Alex said.

Olivia did as she was told. Georgia gave a wide yawn and snuggled into Alex.

Alex smiled. "Hmm, I'd say by the consistency and the lower heat, it should be about 15 minutes. Never knew spaghetti was that hard to cook, but you've gotta start somewhere, right?"

Olivia turned to her again, this time with a glare, and Georgia giggled.

Alex just sighed. "It's a good thing. Everything takes time."

* * *

That night in bed, Olivia curled up to Alex. "Happy?"

Alex wrapped her arms around her, sighing. "Very. Feels right. And you did well. With a little more practice... But you don't need to be so afraid and look to me to see if you're doing every little thing right. Go with your instincts. They led you to me, after all."

"After years."

"You were busy catching the bad guys and weren't open to this idea. Probably scared of it to some point, but I waited, didn't I? I waited for you."

Olivia still seemed unsure, but dropped a gentle kiss to her cheek, dropping the subject. "Goodnight, Mrs. Benson."

Alex sighed. "What else? Really?"

Olivia shook her head. "Another time."

She nodded. "I love you."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: jba42 & Bkwrmchar

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	9. Routine

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 9: Routine**

By the next week, they'd settled into a sort of a routine. Alex was still at home with Georgia and was planning on staying there until she could go back to school. They would make dinner and be ready by the time Olivia got back from work, but it was the first time Olivia wasn't home, working late, and Georgia was fretting, looking out the window for her.

Alex walked over, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Honey, she'll be back."

"She said she'd be home at 6. It's almost 7 and she hasn't even called!"

Alex picked her up and went to sit on the couch with her. "Do you know what she does?"

"She's a police woman. She makes things safe. But she might not be safe."

Alex nodded. "That's very true, but do you remember the man at the desk across from her? Elliot?"

"Yeah."

"Well, Elliot and Olivia are partners and they watch each other's backs. He won't let her be hurt too badly. He's a good guy," she said with a smile.

"...Can we call him and ask him when she's coming home?"

She sighed. "He might be out with her. But I think I can call someone, this time, but you're just going to have to get used to the fact that, sometimes, she won't get home until really late okay?" she said, pulling out her cell and dialing Fin's number.

"Yo, Cabot, wassup?"

She laughed. "Not too much. Little Georgia was wondering if anyone knew where Olivia was at? She's kinda worried."

"She isn't home yet? Her ad Elliot left about an hour ago."

She bit her lip, walking into their bedroom. "No, she-she isn't. What's the case? Should I be worried?"

"They just wrapped it up, brought the guy in. Have you tried calling either of them yet?"

"No, I figured if they were out they wouldn't answer. I'll try. Thanks." She hung up and dialed Olivia.

The phone went straight to her voicemail.

Panic wasn't in yet. Olivia generally turned off her phone if the situation was delicate. Maybe she just hadn't turned it back on. She tried Elliot.

He answered his phone after the second ring. "Yes, Miss Alexandra?

She grumbled. "Don't call me that or the next warrant you bring me will need a crapload of probable cause! Is Olivia with you? She isn't home yet and Fin said you guys finished the case about an hour ago."

"Not with me, I'm at home. Unless she's stalking me again. She does fancy me, you know."

She smiled. "Oh, so she married me to make you jealous did she?"

"Absolutely. She couldn't have my fine ass, so she went for the second best a...umm.. well, not that I've been looking..."

"Yeah, yeah. Do you know if she said she was going anywhere but here after?"

"Not that I can remember."

From the other room, she heard Georgia yell out. "I can see her! Across the street!" A moment later, the front door slammed.

"Thanks, gotta go!" she hung up the phone and raced out because, from the sound of the door, she probably wasn't in the best mood.

She found the room empty of anyone.

"Liv? Georgia? Where are you guys?" she asked, walking into the kitchen but finding no one.

Olivia, having walked home and gone the long way to try and distress and calm down after a hard day, was waiting for the traffic to clear so she could cross the road when she saw Georgia on the other side.

"Olivia! Olivia!"

Olivia scanned the pavement for Alex. "Stay there!"

She nodded.

Alex walked out minutes later, taking her hand. "Wait," she instructed.

Georgia nodded again.

When Olivia finally began to cross the road, Georgia panicked and ran towards her.

Alex ran after her, yanking her back as a truck sped past, ending up on the pavement. "Don't EVER do that again! Do you understand!"

Olivia rushed up to them, the bruised, dead faces of children she'd seen swarming her head. "What the hell did you think you were doing? Why did you do that?"

"I...I just wanted t-to...see you!" she cried as she ran back into the house.

Alex brushed herself off and stood up. "Rough day? I know, I should argue, but you're right. Especially in this city..."

Olivia rubbed her face, looking after Georgia, then back at Alex, then took several steps back. "I'm...going for a walk."

"Would you like some company? I can be right back. We don't even have to talk if you don't want to."

Olivia shook her head, taking more steps backwards before turning away.

Alex nodded. "Well, we'll be here, but please don't be all night, okay? Dinner's waiting." She turned to go back inside.

* * *

When she got inside, Georgia was in her room crying.

"I didn't mean to upset her! I was just glad she was ok, and then I was scared that a car was going to hurt her!"

Alex sat on her bed. "I know, sweetie, but you just can't go running out into the street like that! You'll get squashed like a pancake. She knows you didn't mean it. We were just worried about you. We don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Then why didn't she say that, why did she yell at me?"

She sighed. "I want you to listen okay?"

She nodded, wiping her eyes.

"Her job, it's not the easiest to come home and be...happy. The things she sees are horrible. People being hurt. Men, women...even kids like you. Sometimes she can't save them and it leaves a scar, one that takes years to heal. She loves you. She just couldn't get her job out of her head. She wanted you here as much as I do because she knows you'll be happy here. She loves helping children."

* * *

When Olivia returned home, almost another hour later, she shut the front door quietly.

Alex sat on the couch, falling asleep with a book in her hand, not noticing her.

She stood watching her for a moment before walking quietly to Georgia's room.

Georgia looked up from playing with her stuffed animals. "Hi Olivia," she said softly.

Olivia sat gently on the edge of her bed. "..Can I have a hug?"

She nodded, sitting in her lap and hugging her tight.

Olivia hugged her back, dropping a kiss to her head. "I'm sorry."

She nodded. "I know. Alex said it's not easy for you to come home happy with what you see in your job."

Olivia nodded, hugging her tighter.

"It's gonna be okay." She was quiet for a while before saying, "I think Alex needs a hug too. She was really sad before she fell asleep. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"She said she knew you were upset, but never thought a walk would substitute for her hugs. And she gives really good hugs!"

Olivia smiled and stood up, picking her up with her. "Well, we better go and check out that theory."

She smiled. "I dropped Benson under the bed. Will you get him for me?"

Olivia nodded, placing her on her feet and getting to her knees.

She smiled. "He went pretty far, didn't he?"

"He did. How did he get that far?" She lay on her stomach and reached under.

"I was sad that you yelled at me. And I didn't want to look at him."

Olivia bit her lip and pulled out the teddy, handing it to her. "Well, how about you don't run into traffic and I won't yell at you again, that way Benson doesn't have to sit by himself under there."

She nodded. "Okay!"

Olivia led her way out to where Alex was almost asleep, putting a finger to her lips, approaching her quietly.

She nodded, sitting on the other side of Olivia. Alex snored lightly when she felt the cushion shift.

They looked at each other, and Olivia counted down silently before they both jumped on her, hugging her tightly, dropping sloppy kisses to her face.

Alex laughed, hugging them tightly as her senses came around. "Hi!"

Olivia dropped a kiss under her eat, whispering softly. "I'm sorry," as Georgia sat up, grinning. "Did we scare you?"

Alex smiled. "Yeah, a bit. So what do you say we eat a little bit and get to bed?"

Georgia nodded, jumping to her feet and rushing to wash her hands.

Olivia fell into her, hugging her back tightly.

Alex rubbed her back. "I know, but it's okay now, I promise. I'll make it better," she said, stroking and kissing her cheek.

Olivia turned her head and kissed her gently. "I love you."

Alex kissed back. "I love you too. I just wish..."

"What?" Olivia asked softly.

"Show you," she whispered.

Olivia nodded her head, turning to look at her.

"...Would that make you feel better though?"

Olivia gave a half smile. "You know it would."

"De-stressor."

Olivia's smile widened.

"You know we have to wait, right?"

"Mm-hmm, but I'm imagining."

"Imagining my hands all over your chest, caressing those perfect pearls, my tongue on the tip as I kissed a line down..." she whispered in her ear.

Olivia gave a shiver, pushing herself up as Georgia returned.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: jba42 & Bkwrmchar

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	10. Storms and Little Readers

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 10: Storms and Little Readers**

Alex stretched as the lightning flashed outside the window, Olivia, exhausted from work, was out cold. She had the feeling Georgia was awake and was surprised she hadn't run to her. Pushing the covers back, she got up and walked from the room and peeked into hers.

She was under her covers, a torch on, and was reading aloud to herself quietly.

Alex walked over, pulling the blanket up. "Hi. Can't sleep?"

"..I don't like storms."

"I don't either. You could come with me for a cup of something warm to drink? You could bring your book and read to me."

"Ok." She climbed from her bed, following Alex, one of her law books dragged along in one hand.

They walked into the kitchen where Alex got some candles down from the cupboards - the electricity was out - and set them on the counter. Then she lifted Georgia up onto a stool. "Let's see. Hot chocolate?"

"With marshmallows?"

Alex dug in the back of the cupboard and set a bag of jumbo marshmallows on the counter as she set a pan on the stove and turned on a burner to heat the milk she'd poured in.

Georgia sat, kicking her legs as she watched. "Are we making one for Olivia?"

"I don't know. She's pretty tired.."

"Maybe tomorrow then." She propped Alex's book up on her knees and began to read. She stumbled over most words, but it only took a few moments to realize she was reading the adoption section.

Alex looked over her shoulder. "How much of that do you understand?"

"...Nothing."

She smiled. "It's okay. You don't need to worry about any of that. Where did you get that?"

"From the shelf near the couch. Is that bad?"

She shook her head, eye coming to life in the candlelight. "No, but there are books on the shelf in your room. Why did you pick that one?" she asked, stirring the milk. "Was there a reason?"

"I wanted to make sure no one could come and take me away. I like it here."

She smiled, pushing the book away. "I don't think you need to worry about that."

She sighed and wrapped her arms around Alex's neck, looking over her shoulder as she continued to stir the milk. "Are you sure Olivia won't mind?'

"What do you mean?"

"If we have some without her." She tried to slip a marshmallow into her pocket when Alex looked away.

Alex smiled, slipping another into her other pocket. "Do you want to go see?"

She nodded and slid down, racing to the bedroom where Olivia lay on her side, eyes closed.

Olivia heard someone run down the hall, but it sounded so far away that she just thought it was her imagination.

Georgia stood next to her, looking down at her as she sucked on a marshmallow. "...Are you awake?"

She groaned. "Honey, I'm really tired," she said stroking her face. "Is someth—where's Alex?"

"We are having hot chocolate, do you wa-" She jumped onto Olivia as there was a loud clap of thunder.

Olivia smiled, wrapping her arms around her and sitting up. "It's okay. Should we go see Alex? Where's Benson? Did you throw him under the bed again?"

She kept her hands firmly over her ears as the storm raged louder.

Olivia threw the covers off and walked out into the kitchen. "Look who I found."

Georgia reached out and stuck a marshmallow in each ear, then grinned at them.

Olivia sat her on the stool beside Alex and walked back to find her bear.

"You got her up then!"

Georgia nodded. "Is it ready yet?"

Meanwhile, Olivia walked into the dark room, finding the teddy bear on the floor beside the bed. She picked him up.

"Just needs some marshmallows in it." Alex held out the mugs to her.

"Thank you!" Alex smiled, pouring two more as Olivia walked back out.

Olivia placed Benson on the table and accepted a drink, stifling a yawn.

Alex smiled, leaning on the counter. "Have you even slept?" she asked, taking a drink.

She shook her head, taking a long sip. "Who's been studying?" She looked at the book still resting on the counter

Alex gestured to Georgia.

She looked at the page that was open, at Alex, then at Georgia who was busy trying to steal another marshmallow.

Alex sighed, setting the cup on the counter and closing the book. "She said she was trying to read it because she likes it here and doesn't want to leave."

Olivia put her hand on the marshmallow bag, making Georgia jump and give a guilty smile. "Well I dunno, if you keep stealing all my marshmallows, I might have to put my handcuffs on you and take you down to my work."

Alex smiled, resting a hand on hers. "Yeah, you better be careful."

She looked between them, then stuck another in her mouth, grinning widely.

"Better drink quick while it's still warm, then we can put you back into bed," Alex said, resting a hand on Georgia's shoulder.

"Can't we stay up? I don't want to go back in there by myself when there's still a storm."

She looked to Olivia. "What do you think?"

Olivia thought of her warm bed, and her alarm, set for 6 am. "You could sleep in our bed?"

Alex smiled. "Yeah, I could face Georgia and have my back to you."

"Ok!" She slammed her mug on the table and raced in there.

Alex laughed a bit, walking around to Olivia as she blew out the candles. "Shall we?"

Allowing a yawn this time, she nodded. Georgia was already on one side of the bed, only her head poking out the top of the covers. Olivia slid into the other side of the bed.

Alex climbed into the middle, pressing her back against Olivia and draping her arm over her.

Olivia's hand slid down her back, resting just above her bum as she normally did. Georgia snuggled into her front.

Alex smiled, turning her head to kiss Olivia. "I love you."

Olivia was already fast asleep. Georgia was the one who replied softly. "I love you too, Mommy."

Alex pulled her closer, kissing her head. "Sleep well, baby."

When Olivia woke the next morning, instinctively before her alarm went off, they were still curled together. Before she left for work, she dropped a kiss to both their foreheads, smiling to herself before slipping from the room.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

For those anon reviewers that are being signed in as a 'Guest' I suggest commentimg and placing your name at the end.

Review thanks to: jba42 & Bkwrmchar

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	11. Get Back

**WARNING: This chapter contains adult content.**

* * *

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 11: Get Back**

Georgia had been excited about getting a school uniform, but putting it on was a different matter. She'd hid each piece in a separate place around the house and by the time Olivia had managed to find them all, she had to leave for work, so Alex was left by herself, standing with her hands on her hips, looking down at a young girl who stood in the same stance, a school shirt on but PJ bottoms still pulled up and her school bag, packed the night before, emptied again.

Alex sighed. "You were so excited about the uniform. What's wrong?"

"I've changed my mind. I want to stay here. You can teach me, you have all the books."

Alex sighed again, sitting on her bed. "Sweetie, I can't teach you. I don't have the time, schooling, patience or resources. Why don't you want to go?"

"...Are you sure you'll come and pick me up? You won't just leave me there?"

Alex picked her up and sat down with her. "Yes, I promise. We don't want you there all the time. We want you home too," she said, hugging her.

"How do I know you're not just saying that?"

"Well, I guess you don't know until I prove it, do you?"

She watched her cautiously, then dug around in her bag and produced a piece of paper. "Will you write down your phone number and where you work again?"

She bit her lip. "I don't want you running off alone, okay?"

"I won't, I just want to make sure I know where to find you."

She nodded, writing it down. "Olivia's too?"

"Yes please."

She nodded again, writing down the information and folding the sheet of paper. "Now will you please finish getting dressed?"

She did as she asked, and went to school with no complaints, only hesitated again when they pulled up outside the building.

Alex looked at her. "Do you know where to go or do you want me to walk with you?"

"Can you come with me?" She looked at her nervously.

Alex pulled up to the curb, unbuckled and got out, going over to the other side and opening the door for her.

She slid out, clutching her hand as they walked into the building.

"Do you know your teacher's name?" Alex asked.

"Mrs. ...sick. She's sick today." She attempted to turn them around.

Alex picked her up again, walking to the office and sitting her in a chair. "Excuse me?"

A busy lady glanced up, looked down, then looked up again. "Miss...you're...Alexandra Cabot?"

She nodded, walking up to the counter. "Yes. Is there a reason you know my name?" she asked, keeping an eye on Georgia. "Freeze!" she said as she attempted to run. She walked over and grabbed her hand, walking back up.

"I just got a call from Olivia Benson. She said could you please turn your phone on, and would we please get someone to escort...Georgia to her new classroom?"

She blushed a bit, fishing her phone from her pocket and turning it on, seeing two missed calls and voicemails and numerous texts. "Um, would you mind if I went to escort her as well so I know where she is?"

"Sure, this way." She led the way, turning several times to look at Alex with a smile. "Olivia sounds very...umm...nice."

She smiled, pulling Georgia along. "Yes, she is. I'm sure you'll meet her sometime soon. By the way, I didn't sign her up, so Olivia must've done it, but what's Georgia's registered school name?"

"By the way she spoke...I think I'd prefer to speak with you. Although, she did give a grudging thank you at the end. Georgia here is registered as...Georgia Cabot?"

Georgia gasped and grinned up at her.

Alex smiled. "Hmm, that's very interesting...considering that was my maiden name, but it's perfectly fine. Yeah, she was in a rush this morning and, though she's got a naturally calming way about her, her job gives her an edge. I'm...sure she didn't mean to speak that roughly."

"I wasn't the one to speak with her, but it says here it's a temporary name? I don't quite know what that means, I don't really do much admin work, I'm more into...teaching. And this is our classroom Georgia!"

Alex walked in with her, seeing about fifteen students all lined in a row at the back of the room. She encouraged her to go, but she clung to her. "Are you the teacher? I don't see one."

"I am indeed. Georgia, if you don't want to go and stand with the others, how about you go and sit at your desk? It's your very own that you can sit at every day, at the front row by the window."

Alex turned to her. "What do you think?"

She looked between them a moment before handing the teacher the piece of paper Alex had written the addresses and phone numbers on, then made her way to the desk.

Alex looked over her shoulder. "She's...scared, more or less. She had me write the down this morning."

"Okay, I'll just keep this."

She nodded, leaving the room. Once she was in the car, she dialed Olivia.

"Benson."

"Hey, it's me. I just dropped her off and am on my way in. They said you registered her under my maiden name temporarily. What does that mean?"

"Oh...it's close to her real last name. I thought if anyone asked, we could claim it was a mistake. We haven't really...I don't know about legally changing her name..."

"To what though? I took your last name."

"Does she want to change it to that, though? Is it right to change it, to erase her real parents name like they didn't exist?"

She sighed. "Oh...well, yeah, that does make sense. Anyway, I'm almost to my office. Are we still on for lunch later?"

"I don't know, you decide when you've seen all the paperwork Elliot just put on your desk."

She smiled a bit. "I'll let you know, okay?"

"I look forward to it. By the way, one of your rear lights is broken."

"And you couldn't have told me earlier?" she asked, unsure if it was a come on.

"I didn't know earlier." She smiled as she watched Alex park from her own car.

"Wait...how can you see...? Where are you?"

"No comment, counselor, but I need to get going now, so enjoy that coffee you're about to buy."

She nodded. "Okay. Love you! See you tonight."

As Olivia drove past, she beeped her horn, laughing as Alex spilt her coffee.

She smiled, blotting the hot liquid before walking inside to her office, sighing heavily upon seeing the mountain of paperwork. She sat at her desk and began going over pages.

* * *

Alex sighed, rubbing her eyes as she stood outside Georgia's classroom.

Children were already walking out of the room in pairs, giggling with each other, their parents in tow. Georgia was still sitting at her desk, looking nervously at the door.

Alex grabbed the teacher's attention outside the room. "How was she?"

"...Alright. She said she didn't want to call you at lunch because you'd be busy. She hasn't spoken to any of the other children and she asked to eat lunch with me."

She sighed. "I'll...still talk with her tonight. She was right. I was very busy and its good that she understands that, but what if she feels sick and doesn't tell anyone?"

"I'm sure she'll be fine after a few days." She gave her a reassuring smile before excusing herself to talk to someone else. Georgia stood to look out the window for Alex's car.

Alex walked up behind her. "Are you looking for someone?"

Georgia jumped, then turned, wrapping her arms around Alex.

Alex wrapped an arm around her. "Did you make any new friends?"

Georgia didn't speak, just held tightly to her.

"I know it's scary, but it'll feel better soon, okay? Go grab your backpack and we'll head for home, okay?"

She nodded and rushed off to get her bag.

Alex walked toward the door smiling when, about halfway there, a small hand slipped around hers.

* * *

Georgia didn't speak until they got home, and then it was only to ask what time Olivia would be home.

Alex sighed, lying on the couch, the last dozen papers she'd looked at had given her a headache. "Probably about two hours yet."

Georgia sat next to her, then curled up with her, hugging one of her arms.

Alex rolled onto her side, rubbing her back. "What's the matter?"

"I want to go home now."

Alex pulled her up into her arms. "We are home, sweetie. What's wrong?"

"Home with my mom and dad."

She sighed. What if she didn't know? Alex couldn't just drop that on her. It wasn't right. She needed to talk to Olivia. "You...you can't. I'm sorry, but..."

"Everyone was talking about what they'd done over the holidays and how their parents had got new jobs or new cars...and I couldn't talk to them because I didn't have anything to say. I couldn't say my parents died and I begged and begged you until you let me live with you."

Alex just held her tight. "I'm...I'm sorry. I can't imagine how horrible that was. You only asked once. Something...something about you kept me coming back. Shh, it's okay. It's okay," she said, rubbing her back in circles. "We love you."

"But I'm scared you'll die too!"

Alex sat up with her in her arms. "Yes, that's very true, but Olivia and I will do our very best not to." She didn't mean to scare her, but figured it was better not to lie.

* * *

She'd only just calmed down by the time Olivia came home but was still sitting on Alex's lap, looking pale.

Alex sighed. "Sweetie, why don't you go play in your room for a bit? Olivia and I need to talk."

Olivia watched with concern as Georgia gave a blank nod, getting slowly to her feet and walking with none of her usual spark towards her bedroom. "What..."

Alex just wrapped her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder. "School didn't go as well as we'd hoped. She was...upset that everyone was talking about their parents' new jobs or cars and...she couldn't say anything because her parents had died and..." she couldn't keep going.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex, dropping a kiss to her head, rubbing her back.

Alex sighed. "We have a major problem, Liv. I just hope I'm overreacting."

"...How about you get some dinner ready and I'll go and talk to her?"

She shook her head. "No, she'll never admit it. She-she said she wished she could go home to her parents, but...she knows they're gone. Am I overreacting?"

"No, just...maybe it's better for me to talk to her...it's something we both understand."

She sighed, kissing her cheek. "What do you want for dinner?"

"You pick. Something delicious."

She sighed again. "I...really don't feel like cooking, but pasta is easy."

"Why don't you order some from that place you like and then go and have a bath?"

She nodded, still holding her close. "I just..."

Olivia kissed the top of her head. "Just try to relax. You're not going to help her if you're worried about it."

"Alright," she said, letting her go and watching her walk away.

Olivia stood in the doorway of Georgia's room, watching her sounding out words from a book on the shelf. "Can we talk, sweetie?"

She looked up at her, then down at her book again. "I guess so."

Olivia walked in and sat on her bed. "Alex told me you were missing your parents?"

She gave a small shrug. "I don't...really miss them, I just miss...having them."

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone else has a mom and a dad and I don't."

"Every family is different. Sometimes, there's no mom or no dad. Some are raised by foster family and sometimes the kids who are adopted are loved much more by their adopted parents. Right now, you just happen to have two mommies, like you said, who love you very much. Most kids wouldn't ask for more."

"I don't mean you and Alex, I know about that. I mean...my real parents. Everyone was talking about their mommy and daddy and what they'd done on holiday and all their grandparents and cousins. All I have in the world are you and Alex and Benson, and I'm scared they'll laugh at me because my mom and dad didn't want me."

"How do you know they didn't want you?"

"They tried to kill me."

She knew her mouth was hanging open. She closed it, reaching a hand towards her. "It wasn't just you. I don't know exactly what happened, but whatever it..." she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Honey, they didn't want that. They-they planned on all of you dying together. I...don't know why, but I can promise you that we would never do that to you."

"That time, but the other times, sometimes it was just me."

"Wh-what do you mean? What did they try to do? Whatever they did, it was wrong."

Georgia sighed and leant into Olivia's side. "I don't want to talk about it. Can I have sleep before dinner?"

Olivia held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. "Of course you can. Don't be afraid to talk to me about these things okay?"

She just sighed and closed her eyes. A few minutes later, she spoke softly, "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, laying her in her bad and tucking her in, placing Benson beside her. "We'll wake you for dinner, okay?" she said walking to the door.

"You won't stay with me?"

"Honey, Alex was really worried. I need to go tell her. I'll...come back to check on you. Who knows? The food might be here by then. She really needs to know."

She nodded, but when show thought Olivia was out of earshot, she dropped a kiss to Benson's head. "Looks like it's only you and me forever, Benson."

Olivia almost doubled over. She wanted to go back and say she'd changed her mind, but didn't know how much good it would do. She walked into their room and into their private bath, tears dripping down her cheeks.

Alex was sitting on the edge of the bath, but was still wrapped in a towel, brushing her hand along the water.

Olivia sighed, sitting on the chair a little ways away. "She's got more trouble than we realize..."

Alex sighed, but didn't speak. After a moment, she stood and walked to Olivia, sitting in her lap.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, taking comfort in her warmth, crying softly into her shoulder, shaking. "I need help. I can't deal with this myself."

"Maybe Sister Katherine...she must have known..."

"Not everything...Alex i-it wasn't just the one time. Sh-she said they'd just tried to kill her sometimes..."

Alex was silent for a moment. "...Maybe she misunderstood something they were...it didn't say anything in her file..."

"Or maybe...she was too scared to tell anyone."

"...Maybe we can get her to talk to Huang?"

"I don't know if she would trust him."

"If she knows we do, maybe she will."

She took a deep breath. "Maybe. But..."

"Where is she? Did you leave her by herself?"

"She's...asleep. She wanted me to stay, but I said I needed to talk to you."

"Liv! You can't just leave someone alone after they've told you that, you of all people should know that!" She stood.

"I know, but you were so worried... I know that's no excuse, but it's the only one I have."

Alex moved past her, dropping her towel and pulling on her bathrobe as she did so, and made her way to Georgia's room.

Olivia went to follow, but a knock drew her toward the door as she opened it, paid and took the food, setting it on the table before walking over to stand in the doorway.

Georgia was lying her with eyes closed, her head now resting on Alex's lap as she stroked her hair.

Olivia sighed, but didn't move or say anything.

Georgia held Benson tightly and gave a sigh. "Well, I guess if you and Olivia like him, I could talk to him."

"That'll help, trust me."

Georgia looked up at Olivia. "Is dinner ready?"

She nodded. "It just got here. Are you hungry?"

"I guess so." She stood up, holding tightly to Alex and Benson.

Olivia nodded, watching as she walked out, seeing Alex's icy stare. "I know, I know, but you were crying and you know I can't stand to see you cry and not do something."

"So you left her to cry instead?"

She nodded. "I messed up. I hate myself for it. In fact," she slipped off her badge and gun holster and set them in her lap, "here. With the amount I've, undoubtedly, screwed myself over with her and you believe it too, I don't deserve those...or you for that matter." She walked away and from the building, trying to clear her head.

* * *

Two hours later, Alex found Olivia sat staring into a glass of beer. "..Can I buy a pretty lady a drink?"

She looked over. "Isn't there a child who needs looking after more than me?" she bit.

Alex slid into the stool next to Olivia, reaching out a hand to pull her drink from her. "Maybe, but right now you look like you could use some help. Can I get a water here, please?"

The bartender nodded, sliding her a glass.

"You left her home alone?" Olivia asked.

"Oh yeah, of course I did. With your gun, a bottle of vodka and the tv remote." She slid the glass of water into Olivia's hand.

"Sarcasm never was a tongue of yours, Lex," she said, taking a drink. "So, come to drag me home?"

"I don't know, depends whether or not you want to come."

She set the water on the bar in front of them. "I never said I wasn't coming back."

Alex reached out to wipe away some of the mascara that had run down Olivia's cheeks earlier. "How about we just sit here for a bit and you tell me about your day?"

She sighed. "Same old, same old. Battered women, abused kids who don't want to tell because they love their abusers so much..."

"Did you have time for lunch?"

She shook her head. "I was going to, but then another body was found with the same MO as our current case so..."

"You're telling me you didn't even have time for one of those pastries I always see you guys eating?"

"Nope," she said a bit coldly, taking another sip of water. "Look Alex, if you're trying to make me feel better about earlier...my misjudgment...it's not going to work. I know I should've stayed. I just thought bringing you a bit of peace was a tiny bit more important."

Alex sighed and turned to face the bar, taking a sip from the beer she'd taken from Olivia. Making a face, she took another.

Olivia could help cracking a bit of a grin. She knew Alex was more of a wine drinker and didn't care for beer. "What are you doing?"

"Drinking this...stuff you seem to enjoy and sitting here until you decide to stop blaming yourself."

She sighed, pulling the bottle from her grip and setting it on the bar. "Alex, that's not going to make me feel better, so please stop, okay?"

Alex took the beer again. "I didn't say you were going to feel better, or that I wanted you to." She took a long swig of the beer.

She raised a brow. "Then what's the point?"

"The point is, whenever I drink this...stuff, I always make an idiot of myself, and I'm pretty sure that will show you you're not the only one who does stupid things occasionally." She waved to the bartender for another drink.

"Alex, you don't have to do that for me," she said, resting her hand on hers. "I know this...guilt will pass. It'll just take a bit of time."

"Yes I do. Besides, I know you secretly enjoy watching me stumble around and ask everyone I see for a hug."

"...I used to, but now I don't think I'll like it," she said.

"Oh, why's that? Worried you won't get your fair share?"

"Maybe..."

"Are you worried I won't hug you enough Olivia Benson?" Alex rested her arm on the bar and rested her head on it, looking up at Olivia with wide eyes and a wide grin.

Olivia just sighed and turned away. "Do what you want. I don't care," she said, cracking a fresh beer and taking a sip.

It was, again, taken from her hands by Alex, who, this time, drank it all at once, going a little green. "If you keep ordering them, I'm going to keep drinking them, because I don't want you to drink away your feelings Liv."

A group of rowdy men walked into the pub and crowded towards the bar. Hesitantly, Alex slipped from her chair and moved to stand between Olivia's legs, facing her.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "What? Don't tell me you're afraid?" She waved it off. "Never mind. Okay, I'll stop ordering them."

"Me, scared? The only thing I'm scared of is that you're going to leave because I forced you into adopting a child you didn't want." Her strong voice finally wavered a little.

"That's not true!"

"But I didn't give you any choice, did I? I just..assumed."

"Well, yeah, kinda, but it was what you wanted and I wanted to make you happy..."

"But it's not all about me, Olivia. You need to be happy too."

"I am happy. I have you," she said stroking her cheek.

"If I wasn't here though, would you still look after her?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Then we need to start thinking as a family. I love how much you love me, but that's...separate. We need to deal with things as a family, not you walking away, not me going into a different room, not Georgia going to sleep. We all did things wrong, now we all need to sort out and work on it."

She nodded. "Agreed. Now what?"

"Now you come home and eat some of the take away we ordered, and then you let out your usual burp, and I'll yell at you for being disgusting."

"I...don't think I'm ready to leave yet."

"Well, we'll stay here for a while longer then. Together. Drinking water."

"Who's with her?"

"Who is her, Olivia Benson?"

"Georgia."

"I told you, a bottle of vodka, the TV remote ad a gun."

"No. You're not stupid or that irresponsible."

"Are you sure? I haven't told you everything about me you know. I hide all my dark secrets." She rested her arms around Olivia's neck.

Olivia shrugged her off, laying money on the bar and walking away.

Alex followed her, grabbing her hand. "Look, I know my jokes are horrible, but I'm trying to cheer you up, Liv! Just crack a smile, please?"

She opened the door, letting Alex go first, before walking out, hailing a cab. She held the door as Alex slid to the far side and she got in, closing it. "Hey, uh, thanks for trying to put some sense into me, but I just...can't...be like that."

"Like what? Happy?"

She nodded, remaining silent until they reached the house.

* * *

George was sitting with Georgia on the couch reading, but as soon as Olivia walked through she stood and followed her. "Olivia?"

She turned, hands on her hips. She sighed. "What?"

She approached hesitantly, the wrapped her arms around her waist. "I'm glad you're home. I saved you some dinner."

Rigidly, she wrapped an arm around her. "Thank you..." The words 'I'm not hungry' were on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to say them now. "...I was going to go to bed, but..."

"You can't go to bed on an empty stomach. You told me that. Come on, just have a little." She tried to lead her out of the room.

She nodded, walking out into the kitchen where Alex was waiting. "Hi."

Alex held out a bowl silently, her shining eyes avoiding Olivia's, her bottom lip wobbling.

George, who was standing in the doorway awkwardly, gave Georgia a wave. "Someone is going to bring you to see me tomorrow, so I'll see you then. Liv, Alex, just...try a hug." He left, shutting the front door quietly

Olivia took the bowl, setting it on the counter and hugged her tightly. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry, Lex," she whispered.

Alex gave a quiet sob into her shoulder, then, to Olivia's surprise, whispered, "I'm just so horny."

She smiled. "Really? Thought the lip thing was tears."

"I can only calm you down properly that way, and I want to help you and I just...I want you."

She smiled wider. "Then I guess I should eat fast, huh?"

"Please," she whispered again, her eyes still full of tears. Georgia watched them with interest as she finished her dessert.

Olivia let go, taking the bowl from the counter and eating a little over half.

Shortly, Georgia made an announcement. "I'm going to bed now. George said I'm going to his office after school tomorrow and he has lots of fun toys. And he said he's going to visit me at school, so I need lots of rest. I'll see you in the morning."

Olivia nodded. "Sleep well," she said as Georgia went into her room and closed the door. "That was weird."

"What was?" Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat, praying Olivia would hurry up and finish eating.

"Just the way she announced she was going to bed."

"George probably told her we needed some alone time. Have you finished yet?" She almost snapped the words out.

She finally cracked a smile. "Maybe..." she said, placing the empty bowl in the sink before walking in to check on her.

She clutched Benson tightly. When Olivia kissed her cheek, she smiled.

Olivia walked back out, seeing Alex drumming her fingers impatiently on the table.

As Olivia approached her, she held out an arm to stop her, then led her towards the bedroom. Once inside, she shut the door gently, then locked it, before pushing Olivia back onto the bed. "How long has it been?"

"Uh...oh wow...um, after we first saw her."

"Hmm...long time then." Alex stood above her, slipping her clothes off slowly.

Olivia sat back on her arms. "Looks good from here," she said with a smile.

Finally, she slipped her bra off, then moved towards Olivia, straddling her legs. Reaching out, she took one of Olivia's hands and caressed it for a moment before guiding it into her underwear.

Olivia kissed her bare shoulder, before slipping both hands into the back of her underwear and squeezing a bit. "Yes, it's been much too long," she said with a smile as she pushed her back a bit slowly stripping her of her underwear.

"Mmm, I'd forgotten how good your hands feel."

Olivia's hands ran up her backside until her hands hooked her shoulders and held her there. "I'd forgotten how soft you are."

"The other hands just did not feel the same as yours," she mumbled as Olivia caressed her.

"What other hands?"

Alex smiled, sliding back a little, biting her lip a moment before smiling. "When you went out on the weekend, and I was here alone, I'd imagine your hands, or your mouth, or..." Her own hand had barely touched her body, but she let out a quiet moan at the memories.

Olivia kissed down the center of her body as her hands rubbed her back. "Really? Just wasn't the same huh?"

"Not at all...mmm...especially when you came home just after I'd finished and yelled at me because I didn't take the garbage out."

"Don't think about that," she whispered, sucking a nipple out gently before kissing her way to the other. She pinched them a bit, hearing Alex moan.

"Don't think about how hot you are when you're angry?

"Didn't mean that," she said with a smile. "But I don't like being angry with you."

"I...know, but can we just," she captured her lips in a hungry, needy kiss as Olivia stood and laid her on their bed.

Olivia broke the kiss, shedding her shirt and bra, before Alex sat up and slowly removed her belt and jeans, tossing the belt to the floor as Olivia stepped out of her jeans and crawled up on top of her. "How about we don't talk?" she whispered, wrapping her arms around her back and lifting her off of the bed, groaning as Alex's legs wrapped around her muscular frame and she moaned in feeling Olivia find that little spot between her shoulder and jaw, sucking on it, hands gripping her bare back.

Olivia pulled back a bit. "Careful Lex, we don't want her knocking on the door. Though its been a while."

Alex pouted, then captured Olivia's lips, a smile playing on her own. "I'll promise to be quiet if you let me bite."

She looked unsure for a moment, then nodded. "As long as I can hide it. You know I love to hear you. It's just...a whole new game now."

"Nothing better than trying new things." Alex grinned as she licked and kissed a spot on Olivia's collarbone before nipping it gently.

She smiled, her hands rubbing her back as she gently laid her on the bed, one hand finding its way to the front as Olivia nipped down her neck through the center of her chest, hearing her breath catch, before going back up and sucking on a nipple, trying not to be too rough as she knew the rougher she was, the more the volume increased.

Despite her efforts, Alex had to turn her head and moan into her pillow, the length of time since Olivia had touched her making her more sensitive. Her hands tangled in the brunette locks as she bit her pillow.

Olivia released it, kissing over to the other and doing the same while her hands massaged her stomach, watching as Alex arched into her touch. "Careful, baby. Don't tear the pillow. I can...finish you off a different way if you want," she whispered by her ear.

Alex nodded, releasing her grip on the pillow for a gasp of air.

Olivia hovered over her, her hands continuing their gentle caress. "Are you okay?"

Alex blew some hair from her flushing face and gave a smile. "Let's just say...It's been a while and I don't think I'll last very long."

Olivia kissed her gently. "I know and that's okay. We need some schedule of something,"

"Schedule making love t-to...oh, stop. Can't think straight when you're touching me there."

Olivia's hand left the trail it was blazing toward her sensitive spot and moved back up to caress her face. "Well, at least make plans, you know, like every week or few days, being as we tend to tire each other out and I...I certainly don't want to lose you because we work so much. I'm so, so sorry, baby," she rested her forehead against hers, her body still not touching.

Alex arched her body to meet Olivia's, capturing her lips. Her eyes looking deeply into the hazel ones above her, she whispered, "Show me how much you love me?"

Olivia nodded. "There's nothing in the world I like more," she whispered, snaking one arm around her back. She thought a moment. "Kiss me?" she asked as her hand resumed its trek. "Wrap your arms ar—hell, wrap your body around me, Lex. I want to feel it course through you."

Alex did as she asked, kissing her deeply.

Once her hand reached the spot between, Olivia knew playing wouldn't do any good. She sunk three fingers into her, moaning as Alex lurched up into her and bit her lip. Even before she began, Alex was already wet, so it really wouldn't take much. Soon she could feel her wife begin to pulse around her, so she sped up a little more, feeling Alex's arms lock. Looking into her eyes, Olivia could tell she was far away.

Alex's mouth opened in a silent moan, but a moment later she buried her head in Olivia's neck, letting her hear all the quiet gasps and sharp intakes of breath and the soft moaning of her name as the waves seemed to go on so much longer than ever before.

Olivia grinned, pulling her closer, going faster still as she felt her quiver against her. "Don't fight it, baby. It's okay, No matter how much." She felt Alex nod against her. "It's just you and me tonight. The most beautiful woman in the world is in my arms and I'd never ask for anything else. Just give. I know you want to. Come on, please."

Before Olivia could press her mouth to Alex's, her head was tilted back and crying her name. She knew, before her lips pressed hard to the blondes and were moaned into eagerly, that would have woken Georgia.

Olivia moved slowly, waiting for the lasting tremors to cease, before she pulled out, her hand resuming its spot on her back as they kissed softly before lowering her back onto the bed. "I love you so much," she whispered, "...Alex."

She was still breathing heavily, her hands holding tightly to Olivia, one holding her body close and the other gripping one of her strong arms. As she tried to focus, there came a quiet knock on the door.

Olivia smiled. "You need to let go," she whispered. "Just a minute, sweetie!"

"No," Alex murmured, trying to hold tighter, her lips seeking Olivia's.

Olivia sat up, holding her to her, sighing. "Georgia? What's wrong?" she asked, still trying to calm Alex down enough to let her go.

"I heard a strange noise." She tried the door knob, and Olivia was thankful that they'd locked it. Alex, still apparently in a daze, finally let go, falling back against the pillows with a grin on her face.

Olivia covered her up and pulled on her robe before walking over and opening the door. "What happened?" she asked, picking her up with Benson in her grasp.

She peered over Olivia's shoulder at Alex who had buried her face in Olivia's pillow. "I thought I heard someone scream."

She shook her head. "No, everything's fine, sweetie," she assured knowing her face was a bit on the red side.

"Is Alex ok?"

She nodded. "Yes, she's...just very tired."

"...Can we check all the rooms, and then you tuck me into bed?"

"Yep, we can," she said as they walked out, leaving Alex alone.

When Alex finally woke from her daze and found no Olivia, she pulled her robe tightly around her body and followed her voice, smiling when she saw Georgia's door ajar, Olivia lying on the bed and reading from a book. "..Liv, she's asleep."

Olivia looked over. "I know, but what you drunkenly said earlier got me thinking," she said, putting the book away and walking into the hallway beside Alex as they closed the door. "You did kinda insist and..."

Alex rubbed her face sleepily. "What did I say? You know I always speak rubbish when I'm drunk. Like that time I told you I was an elephant trainer in a circus before law school."

Olivia smiled, taking her hand and pulling her into their room. "You said you kinda forced her adoption on me. I mean, you know I'm great with kids, but you also know my fears," she sighed. "I just...I never saw myself like this, but we need her to stay. Not just you. She needs love and attention from me too. I just need to learn. She's not just some case, she never will be and I want to help her. I...can't imagine what happened before."

Alex smiled and lifted a hand to touch her cheek gently for a moment, then gave her a gentle kiss before whispering, "It's your turn to be quiet this time." She turned the lock.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think? Sorry it took so long, but we've been working on drabbles...

Review thanks to: Ravens Trinity, Bkwrmchar, peterpeter & BenslerBaby

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	12. Catch

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 12: Catch**

Olivia was sitting in front of a TV the next afternoon, watching with little interest, CCTV that she had lost a coin toss to check out when Elliot knocked on the doorframe. "Visitor for you. Won't give a name. Short. Stole one of my donuts. Asked for Detective Olivia Benoonsy.

Olivia stopped the tape and turned it off. "Send them in."

He gave a salute, and a few moments later, Georgia walked in wearing a police cap and jacket that almost touched the floor. "Good Afternoon OOOOOOOOOOOlivia."

She smiled, patting the seat next to her. "Hi. Have you seen George yet? Or hasn't he been here?"

Instead, she climbed onto her lap. "He came to my school and talked to my teacher, then he drove me here. He had to go and speak to someone and told me to wait on the seats, but I saw Mr. Elliot and I know he knows you so I thought I'd come and say hi."

Olivia smiled again. "How was school?"

She sighed and didn't reply. "Have you seen Alex today?"

"No, she's been caught up in court all day. Is something the matter?"

"Are you watching TV? Can I watch?"

As she went for the remote, George entered the room looking apologetic. "Sorry, I did tell her you were busy."

Olivia grabbed the remote, turning to him. "It's fine. Hey, why don't you go tell Elliot I want a donut?"

"Can I have anot...one too?"

"Chew and swallow that, then ask again."

She swallowed the remainder of the one she'd taken, then grinned. "Can I have another one too, please?"

"Yes, you may."

She raced from the room.

"Is it too early for me to ask questions?"

"I don't think I could give you any answers. She did finally speak at school today, but it was only to tell another student that if they took her pen you would arrest them, they took it, and when I got there she was in the toilets crying. It took half an hour to get her out."

She sighed. "I don't know what to do. It's like I've been telling Alex. I've never pictured myself with kids, but..."

"If you don't think you can stick it long term, i don't think you should pretend you can. It won't be fair on her. Or you."

"...But yet I've got this overwhelming urge to help her. Alex is happy, so I should be too, right?"

"You want to help all kids, Olivia. You always have, that's your job. You know better than anyone what it's like for children who are moved around a lot. Alex has found something she needs, if it's not what you need, then…"

She bit her lip. "But I need her, so I'm going to have to work out my insecurities somehow."

Georgia raced back into the room with two donuts, one already half eaten. She carefully gave Olivia one, then slid onto her lap again, focusing on picking off the sprinkles as she rested against her.

Olivia smiled, wrapping an arm around her. "What did Elliot say?"

"He said not to give you the pink one because you hate strawberry. There was only a brown and a pink one left, and I don't really like strawberry either, but I don't mind having it for you." George gave Olivia a pointed look.

She smiled again. "Okay, well I think you can go with George now. I think he's ready."

She gave a nod, then stretched up to kiss her on the cheek, before walking with George from the room.

Olivia smiled, biting into the donut before turning the TV back on and redirecting her attention.

* * *

Olivia was still watching CCTV a couple of hours later, and was about to bite into her third donut of the day, when blonde hair appeared and Alex took a bite of it. "Wouldn't want you to get fat."

Olivia handed it to her. "Yeah, that would be a tragedy. I wouldn't be able to keep up with you."

Alex bit into it again, licking the sugar from her lips, her eyes looking at the TV as she chewed. "You're gonna need a pair of sexy black glasses soon if you keep spending all day in dark rooms watching grainy footage of...what is this anyway...?"

"Footage of a serial rapist, supposedly, but haven't found any—hey, wait a minute," she rewound the tape, seeing a scrawny man dressed in black, his blonde hair was sticking out from under the mask, then she let it go a few seconds as a young brunette girl walked on the elevator. "That's the first victim, but why there? He had to have known there were cameras..."

"I take it you won't be home tonight, then?"

She sighed, shutting the TV off and rubbing her sore eyes. "I don't know."

Alex sat in silence for a moment before speaking softly, in a serious tone. "...George told me what you said. If I had to... I don't want to ever have to, but if I need to...please, tell me now. If I need to choose between you, please tell me now."

"He told you, huh?"

"I can't imagine my life without you. I don't know what I did before I knew you. But...I feel like I'm...connected to her. Like I'm supposed to be the one to look after her."

She nodded. "How can I ask that of you? It's not right. I know she makes you happy, so... Alex, I just don't know! I love you... and I want you to be happy."

"..Do you love her? COULD you love her?"

Olivia stood up and paced the floor in front of her. She didn't dare look at Alex. "I...I...could, but I'd just be too afraid I'd do something wrong to mess it up. I-I feel like if I say no to this question," she stopped in front of her, "I'll lose the best thing that's ever happened to me. I know I'm being an idiot and I won't be alone, but Alex you love that kid so much! I want to love her like you do, but with what I see everyday..."

Alex reached out, taking her hand. "Those were the same doubts you had about me, remember? You were so scared you'd mess something up, you were too scared to love me, but it happened anyway. It happened when you stopped worrying about it."

Olivia dropped to her knees, hugging her tight. "What if I can't this time?"

"Every child you help...you love them a little bit, Olivia, that's why it hurts so much. That's why you remember all their names. That's why you have nightmares...that's what makes you an amazing person."

"But...But I love you more..."

"You love me...differently." All the thoughts she'd come to the room with, of telling Olivia to stay away for a while, to sort her head out, had disappeared. "Maybe...talk to Elliot? He sees what you see every day, he has kids, he will understand."

She shook her head. "No. It's like you said. We need to deal with this as a family, not me running away. Although, advice couldn't hurt, I guess."

Alex nodded, stroking her cheek again. "You talk to him, deal with this-" She motioned to the TV, "and when you come home, if I'm asleep, wake me so I know you're okay, alright?"

She sighed. "Wait, I-I do need to tell you something... one of the reasons I was so...hesitant. Unless you'd rather not hear it?"

Alex dropped a kiss to her forehead, resting her own head on Olivia's shoulder. "Tell me."

"Alright. I'm worried you'll forget about me. That simple enough?"

Alex smiled and lifted her head to kiss her properly. "I could never forget about you. You know you're addictive."

"But you're just so focused on her and I work such odd hours."

"Don't I always message you? Wake up when you get in? Come and visit you if I haven't seen you in a while?"

She nodded. "So you don't see yourself ever...getting tired of it? Like if I can't handle..."

"Never, Liv. I promise. I made a vow to you, and I don't intend to break that, no matter what. Even if you do eat too many donuts."

She smiled. but sighed. "That's not what I'm... never mind. I'm going to go talk to Elliot. I'll see you at home." She left the room.

Elliot sat at his desk flicking through files and looked up when she walked over. "You ok? Too many donuts again?"

"Can we go out for a coffee or something?"

He studied her face for a moment and noticed Alex leaving quietly. "Sure."

She grabbed her jacket. "Hey, Munch, check the CCTV I think I found our suspect and the victim where I left it at."

* * *

At the cafe, Elliot bought the coffees and placed one in front of her. "So..what's up?

She sighed. "How are you able to do this day in and day out and then go home to kids and a wife?"

"It's..hard. You know sometimes I don't do so well. But when I get home, and everyone is waiting for me, they're all pleased to see me...well, most of the time..it makes it easier to forget, and also easier to deal with this stuff. I can't protect everyone, but I can protect them."

"But...there's a chance something could go wrong. I don't know. Georgia has more problems like the kids we see than I'd ever like to admit," she said, taking a sip. "I'm no expert, but either her parents were 'mental' or suffering from severe PTSD. The things she said and didn't say. I just never thought of myself as too much of a mothering type I guess."

"There's always a chance something could go wrong. In fact, it probably will. I love Kathy. I was worried about sharing her with children. I didn't even bond with any of them that well when they were babies, I was worried I'd do the wrong thing and Kathy would just..leave. But when they got their own personalities, started talking...it was amazing. Once I let myself relax, stop thinking as a parent, as a cop...just listened to them...they make your worries go away. And as for you not being the mothering type...you are. You look after every child that comes in here."

"But most of them have parents, not always good ones. And, yeah, even though she tried to assure me she'd never forget about me, when we adopted her that was my concern and it still is. Georgia...she's not a baby, already has a very attached/detached personality. Whenever I don't do something, she assumes that I – or rather both of us – don't care. Granted, she looks just like Alex and for a bit I wondered if she was hers, but...I don't know. I guess it's just hard. Maybe I'm too much that way. I mean, every kid? Maybe I'm just tired, but I do know that..."

"You had issues as a kid, Liv. Are you saying if two people who could love you had come along and taken you away, you wouldn't have wanted that for yourself? You're exactly the right person to help her."

She sighed. "Yeah, but I did love my mother, I do. She raised me, didn't give in to the nightmares or anything like that. Actually, there is one odd thing. It doesn't have to do with Georgia and I'll only explain if you swear no one else will hear of it."

He gave a nod, sipping his coffee.

"I mean it. Alex might want my head if she knew I told you."

He gave a grin. "You know I hate being on the wrong side of her. I won't let on. Tell me."

"I know she wants kids, her own, which would essentially be, our kids and I don't have these doubts about any of that."

He nodded, stirring his coffee for a moment before asking, "Is it her past that is worrying you? The issues she may or may not have? Or is it just jealousy of suddenly having someone to compete with?"

"Oddly enough, jealousy. I mean, it shouldn't be, but it's just...with her in the house. Let's just say it was cutting it close, if you catch the drift. I guess I'm just not used to it. Did you ever have that problem? And I swear if anyone else says a word of it..."

"When one of the kids is sick, feeling a bit clingy, sometimes we do, but...she's new to your house Liv, her parents tried to kill her from all accounts...I can't blame her for having trust issues and being worried about noises that are strange to her. Why don't you just tell her that you and Alex are having some alone time, that sometimes there are funny noises, but it's nothing bad."

"You know...that actually might work. And, yeah, like you said the trust issues are very high with her. So, is that what you told all your kids?" she asked, taking a long drink.

"No way, I got Kathy to tell them. Can you imagine me trying that? I would have made a complete mess of it and end up embarrassing everyone. How about I have a word with Cragen, and you go home, take a couple of days?"

"Okay, sounds good, but what about the case?"

"You go straight home. I'll call you if we need you."

"Alex isn't home, but, then again, she is at school for another hour..."

"How about you pick her up then? Take her somewhere?"

She smiled. "Any suggestions?"

"Ask her."

She nodded. "Thanks for...all this," she said, walking out.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, she was inside Alex's empty office, in her desk hair, feet crossed on top, reading the paper in wait.

Alex walked in a few minutes later, barking orders over her shoulder, and was clearly not in a good mood.

Olivia walked up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist as the door closed. "Hi, Mrs. Benson," she whispered into her neck.

Alex stiffened. "What are you doing here?"

She backed up until she hit the desk. "I thought, maybe, I'd kidnap you. Take you away from all this stress."

"I can't. I have so much work to do." She struggled from her grip.

Olivia kept her hold, loosening a bit. "Aw, come on, baby," she kissed her neck. "Just take a few breaths. I thought you might want to reconnect. I have the next couple days off and she's still at school for an hour. Isn't there any part of you that appeals to?"

Alex let out a long breath, lowering her eyes. "I don't...I can't...maybe you should just go home and spend some time…thinking?"

She sighed. "Fine." She dropped her hands. "I was trying to be closer. See you at home, _Cabot_," she walked out, slamming the door.

Alex swore quietly to herself and looked at the work piled on her desk before grabbing her coat and following Olivia.

* * *

Olivia was already putting the key in the driver's side door when she heard someone coming toward her. "What? What do you want?"

Alex put a hand on her waist. "I'm sorry, Liv. I just have so much to catch up on, and people keep giving me more to do, and I'm worried about you, and I'm worried about Georgia…and I haven't had any coffee in two days."

"Get in and I'll get you one. And why, exactly, are you worried about me?"

"Because you have enough stress at work, I don't want you to be stressed about home as well..."

Olivia sighed, leaning into her. "There's stress everywhere you turn. You just need to know how to handle it. Can you spare a few minutes? Elliot suggested it."

"Oh well, if Elliot suggested it, we all know how smoothly his love life goes." She spoke sarcastically, but she was already beginning to melt into Olivia, a sure sign that no matter how much work she had to do in her office, she wasn't going back any time soon.

Olivia turned around, her arms encircling her waist. "Let's just go somewhere. Just us. I love you and I don't want you to go away."

Alex suppressed the words that first popped into her head and gave a nod.

"What? Do you know where you want to go?"

"Somewhere that has coffee. You pick." Alex dropped a lingering kiss to her lips before whispering, "I love you."

Olivia wrapped her arms tighter around her. "I love you too and...I'm sorry about earlier. Guess I was just irritated."

Alex put a finger to her lips. "Let's just have an hour of...no worry, ok? And no apologies."

She nodded. "Okay, but you pick."

* * *

At the cafe they ended up at, Alex spent most of the time kissing Olivia to stop her apologizing or trying to explain herself.

Olivia just scooted as close to her as humanly possible, just enjoying the time. "This reminds me of before when we'd sneak away just to be like this," she whispered, kissing her cheek.

Alex smiled, nuzzling Olivia before taking a sip of her coffee.

She smiled, wrapping both arms around her, looking at the ring on a chain around Alex's neck. "We need to get that sized so you can actually wear it."

"I don't know...I could just wear you on my finger like I did last night."

Olivia blushed a bit. "I meant in public," she said, leaning against her to hide the blush until it went away. "Although, yeah, I don't think anyone would dare...if they were ever privileged to see us like that."

Alex kissed Olivia's blushing cheek, giggling softly, but then caught sight of the clock. "...We need to go soon. Or I do, you don't have to come…"

"No, I'll come with. I'd like to see it anyway," she said, standing before pulling Alex to her feet.

* * *

At the school, they waited outside the gates. All the other children ran out in groups or pairs, but Georgia was one of the last to come out alone, her eyes scanning nervously as she stood close to her teacher.

"Georgia!" Olivia said, waving to her.

She saw Olivia and ran forward, bag bouncing on her back, and threw her arms around her.

Olivia picked her up. "How are you?"

"Why are you here? You don't normally come!"

"I have some time off, so I figured I'd surprise you!" she said walking over to where Alex was standing. "I suppose you want down now, huh?"

She tightened one arm around Olivia's neck, and reached out to Alex with the other arm, pulling her close for a hug before resting back against Olivia.

Olivia smiled, adjusting her on her hip as Alex took the bag from her back. "Should we go home now?"

"I got homework." She gave a big sigh.

Olivia opened the back door, sitting her inside and buckling her in before getting in, up front, beside Alex. "What kind of homework?" she asked as they drove away.

Alex reached out a hand and caressed Olivia's arm. "Spelling."

"Do you understand it?" she asked as Olivia held Alex's hand lightly.

"Some of its hard. Some of it's easy. They asked us to spell one of our parents name. I wasn't sure who's to put, one of you our one of them, and then Alex's name is too long, so I just put yours, and I got it right! O-L-I-V-I-A!"

Olivia smiled. "Perfect. But Alex's name isn't long..."

"It is! A-L-E...then what? S-A-N-D-R-A?"

Alex grimaced. "It's A-L-E-X-AN-D-R-A, but don't call me that, okay?"

"Why? Alexandra? Olivia doesn't mind her full name, me neither."

"Yeah, but I just prefer Alex."

"So I can just be...George if I want? Or...Geo?"

"Or Georgie?" Alex asked.

"..Do you like that, Olivia?" She stuck her head forward to look up at her.

"Ah, I like Georgia better, but that reminds me. I've been meaning to ask you something..." she looked to Alex for support.

Alex squeezed her arm softly as Georgia replied. "Ok. I'll stick with Georgia."

She nodded. "Okay. Um, whose last name do you want? Do you want ours or would like to keep it how it is? You don't have to decide now."

She was silent for a while, thinking, before she asked quietly, "Can't I have both?"

"Yeah...you could. What do you think?" she asked Alex.

"It is hard to change your name. How about you think about it for a bit longer, write it down and see what you like. That's what I did."

Olivia looked over. "You never told me that."

"I thought you might laugh...Me writing Alex Benson all over everything."

"Laugh? I had a different, warmer emotion when you said you wanted to take it. Must've been love."

"What? You? Love? Never! You're made of steel!" Alex smiled.

She sighed. "I used to be. Thought no one could stand me long enough to love me."

Alex reached across to kiss her cheek and was about to say the exact words that came a second earlier from Georgia's mouth, "I love you."

She smiled as they pulled up to the house. "I love you too."

She handed Olivia a piece of paper as Alex helped her from the car. On it, in her scrawled writing, was written "Olivia, Alex, Georgia and Benson Benson."

Olivia smiled as she shouldered the bag and walked inside.

* * *

Inside, Georgia requested Olivia help with her homework, and seemed to have some sense of the thoughts Olivia had been having earlier in the day, because every time Alex appeared from her office, she'd push the two together.

Olivia raised a brow. "What are you doing?"

She looked worried and looked between them for a moment before lowering her head. "I heard you today when I was supposed to be with George."

"Come here, sit down. What did you hear?"

She approached and sat down. "...I don't mind going back, if it upsets you, Olivia. I don't want to upset anyone."

"No, no sweetie. I don't want you to go back."

"..I like you just as much as I like Alex, I promise. Is that why you were upset?"

"Kinda. I've just never pictured myself with kids, I...my life hasn't been perfect."

Georgia reached forward and took Olivia's hand, holding it in both her small ones. "You can tell me about it if you like."

"Sweetie, I don't think it's the best idea. I don't think you would understand it yet."

"I might understand more than you think."

"Yeah, but... just no, okay? I-it's just," she sighed, standing up, "I can't," she said, walking back to their room and closing the door.

Georgia followed her, arms folded. "Well, how do you expect me to tell you about what happened to me if you want tell me what happened to you?"

She sighed, leaning against the door.

Alex walked over. "What do you want to eat?"

"Nothing." Georgia replied, staring at the door defiantly.

"Do you want to go read for a bit?" Alex asked.

"No."

"Well, you need to go do something while I talk her into coming back out here."

She kicked the bedroom door. "No!"

Alex picked her up and threw her onto her bed, making sure she wasn't injured, before closing the door and knocking on their door. "Liv?"

Olivia still had her back to the door, eyes closed. Alex put her hand flat against the wooden door, somehow feeling her warmth through it. She lowered her voice. "Open the door, baby."

"You already know what's bothering me."

"Does that mean you don't want a hug?"

Olivia sighed, opening the door, but walking over to the bed and sitting down.

Alex walked in, shutting the door gently behind her. She moved towards Olivia and knelt in front of her, taking her hands. "Do you remember, just after we moved in together, I was worried about something and didn't want t tell you, came in here and shut the door, you stood outside yelling at me and then kicked the door? She's turning into you. I don't know if I can handle two of you. You are hard enough to deal with."

She sighed. "So what do you expect me to do? Tell her my life story? She won't understand it."

"No, not at all. I agree, I don't think she would either. And I think it would be upsetting for her to hear, it is for me, still. She needs to understand sometimes we can't tell her things or choose not to, and she needs to know she can't kick things. And I think you should be the one to tell her."

"Me? Oh no. Alex, I'm the one who upset her in the first place..."

"So you need to follow through. Explain to her why she needs to respect that sometimes we can't tell her things."

"And how do I explain that?"

"I don't know, I've never done it before, I was hoping maybe you had an idea?" Alex smiled up at her hopefully.

Olivia pulled her close. "I wish I knew...We could just sit here for a bit."

"We could. Or we could sort it out and have dinner. I'm starving. I could eat a whole...you. Actually, that's not a bad idea..."

She smiled. "No, it's not, but we still have to feed her."

"And we need to talk to her first so...ladies first?"

Olivia stood up, pulling her closer, her hands slipping into her shirt. "Well, well, aren't we daring today? You don't usually go commando to work."

"I do, actually. Makes me think of you, which relaxes me."

"But aren't you worried?"

"Only person who would find out is you."

Olivia bit her lip. "How about you go start dinner and I'll try to talk to her?" she asked, squeezing the taught flesh in her hands before pulling away.

Alex nodded and left the room, wiggling her hips a little as she did so.

Olivia walked out and into Georgia's room.

She was lying facing the wall, hugging Benson.

"Georgia?"

"Go away!"

Olivia sat on her bed. "I'm sorry, but you're got to try to understand some things I just can't tell you because...they hurt."

"So why does everyone want me to tell them things that hurt me?"

She sighed. "If we know, we can try to help you, but... my past is complicated. You said you know what I do at my job, right?"

She rolled over to look at her. "Maybe I can help YOU if YOU tell ME, then, right?"

She sighed, deciding to choose the less horrible of the two. "Um, okay, is it okay if I lay down for a bit before I tell you?"

"...Ok."

Olivia laid next to her, hands behind her head. "Growing up, it was just my mom and me. I never knew my dad."

"My dad was always around, he watched over everything we did, all the time, so maybe you were lucky coz you didn't have one."

_You don't know how right you are,_ she thought. "But your dad loved you."

"No he didn't He always told me he didn't. Maybe if your dad was around, he might have loved you. At least you can think like that."

She shook her head. "I doubt that."

"I think if he knew you, he'd love you, because you're one of the nicest people I've ever met."

She smiled, really having to fight everything to stay there. "...Th-thank you," she whispered, though she was trying not to break.

After a few seconds, Georgia turned and wrapped her arms around Olivia, hugging her tightly.

Olivia sighed, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of her head.

Alex looked around the corner, and was about to walk into the room what Georgia began talking, "My dad always hit Mummy. Always. Whenever she did something wrong...or something right. And then when I was old enough, he wanted to hit me too. He was so angry all the time. We weren't allowed out unless he came. One time when he was out, Mummy said to go to bed, even though it was lunch time, and she gave me a horrible drink that made me feel weird, and he made me sick and told her she would go to jail if I died. Every time he went out from then, she tried to make me drink horrible things, to make me die."

Olivia hugged her tighter, rubbing her back, at a loss for words and hoping Alex was nearby.

"Then one day, he said if she really wanted it to happen, he would help. He drove faster and faster and faster. Next thing I remember, I woke up in a big white room...and Alex was there."

She swallowed several times. "Y-you must've had a nightmare."

"She didn't. She was in hospital. She was in the room next to you...after you were shot. I didn't realize...she was so small...I..." Alex stood in the doorway.

"Alex, come here."

She walked into the room, sitting down.

Olivia scooted closer, sitting up and resting her head on her shoulder. "What else happened?"

Georgia kept her head resting on Olivia, closing her eyes. "..I'd come from your room. You were asleep. I thought she just looked so small and I wondered why she was alone. She opened her eyes and smiled at me..so I smiled back, and I stroked her forehead until she went back to sleep. Then I went back to you, you were being sick, I forgot all about it."

"I must've been out cold..."

"You were hit by something metal, remember that bruise? It stopped us from..anyway, ah-"

Olivia sighed. "Yeah, too bad it had to stop. Georgia, do you want to tell us more now or wait? I think dinner's probably close to being ready."

She stayed silent, her head buried in the crook of Olivia's neck, her arms wrapped tightly around her.

Olivia wrapped her arm tighter around her. "Let's get something to eat okay? It doesn't all have to be told at once. It's okay."

During dinner, Georgia insisted on sitting with Olivia, and while a little subdued, seemed more comfortable than before. After dinner was over, she asked Olivia to help her with a bath, and then raced to her room to get her pajamas.

"Looks like I've been replaced."

Olivia pulled her onto the couch. "You? Never," she said, kissing Alex's neck.

"Well at least she's proved to you that you are motherly. Maybe you can even help me with my bath after she's gone to bed?"

She smiled, kissing her. "I would love to. I wonder what changed?"

"You, Liv." Before she could speak further, Georgia returned, tugging on Olivia's hand.

Olivia stood, pulling Alex with her, toward Georgia's room.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: Kikilia14, jessicakyra, Bkwrmchar & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	13. As a Family

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 13: As a Family**

It was 6am and they were on their way to the airport.

So excited about her first holiday, Georgia had been up all night and was fast asleep by the time they needed to leave, forcing Olivia to carry her as well as some luggage. When she'd come home after school a week before they broke for holidays saying all her classmates were going away, Alex had instantly said they were going as well, and as she had been trying to be around more,

Olivia had fought for time off and had been doing a lot of overtime. Now here she sat, stuck in traffic with two sleeping people.

Smiling, Olivia looked in the rearview mirror, seeing Georgia fast asleep against the shoulder seatbelt. Alex yawned, waking momentarily to snuggle Olivia's free arm as a pillow. "Alex, we'll be there soon. Well, okay, if the traffic ever speeds up we'll be there soon."

Alex gave a mumble and dropped a kiss to her arm.

Finally, the traffic began to move more as she went a little faster than necessary through the intersection, then slowed a bit upon seeing the airport in view. She flipped her hand over, stroking Alex's cheek. "Alex."

"Too tired now. Tomorrow." Alex murmured.

She pulled into a spot and parked, killing the engine as she pulled her into her arms. "But we're here," she said, kissing her lightly all over her face until her eyes opened sleepily, "and I can't carry both of you."

And suddenly the Alex of the night before returned, the one an exasperated Olivia had had to send to bed while she packed everything. "Oh God. Did we remember the tickets? Did you pick up my bag like I asked?"

Olivia pulled three tickets from her pocket, them pointed to the bags on the back floorboards. "Yes, yes we have everything," she said, kissing her gently. "Can you carry her and her bag and I'll get ours?"

Alex relaxed again, giving a nod. Climbing out, she pulled a sleepy Georgia into her arms and allowed Olivia to lead the way.

* * *

Olivia sat in between the two on the plane as it roared to life. Georgia looking out the window, Alex gripping her arm. "I thought you flew to Wisconsin?"

"I was drunk."

"On meds or champagne?" Olivia asked as others boarded. She rubbed her arm. "It's going to be fine. I promise. Soon we'll be on a tropical island, in Hawaii, swimming and making sandcastles."

"Both, probably. Georgia, can you sit down and put your belt on."

Georgia sat down next to Olivia. "Are we as high as we get now?"

Olivia shook her head, helping her with her belt. "Oh no. Once we takeoff, this place won't even be a tiny dot. If you look out the window, you'll actually see big, puffy clouds when we're high enough."

She looked at Olivia wide eyed, then turned to look out the window again. Alex groaned as they shut the door, and the guy in the opposite isle, who was having the same issue with his wife, gave Olivia a sympathetic look.

Olivia rested her head on Alex's shoulder, pulling out a magazine from her carry-on and handing it across. "Might help," she said, pulling out one of Alex's books and handing it to her. "Try it."

Alex kept her head buried in Olivia's neck for most of the next half an hour until the plane started to move along the runway. With the bumping of the wheels and the loud noise, suddenly her head was pushed out of the way as Georgia's arms flew around Olivia's neck., "I want to get off!"

"Honey, it won't last long. It'll be okay," she said, wrapping one arm around her and the other around a trembling Alex who had her eyes closed. "Once we're up in the air, it'll feel better."

It didn't. They we plagued by turbulence for the first hour. Georgia was sick, and Alex had drunk about 4 mini vodka bottles by the time it evened out.

Olivia kept rubbing Georgia's back, but it just wouldn't quit. Still holding the bag to her, she unbuckled them both and stood. "We're going to the restroom."

The guy opposite held out his hand. "Ginger pills. If she can keep them down, they'll settle her stomach. Works for my daughter, she gets sick too." He dropped a couple into her hand. "Try some water and a cool cloth as well."

Olivia put them into her jacket pocket. "Thank you." She looked over at Alex, who was out cold. "I hope she sleeps the rest of the way." She picked Georgia up. "Come on, let's go get you a cold rag, okay?"

Georgia nodded, clinging tightly to her.

One inside the bathroom, which was bigger than Olivia thought it could be, sat her down and wet a few paper towels. Grabbing a paper cup, she filled it with water and handed her the pills, getting to one knee. "These should help your stomach, okay?" she said, wiping her mouth with a dry paper towel.

"Can we go home now, Mummy?"

Olivia grabbed the items, dumping out the water and putting the pills in it. "No sweetie. We're close to being there. We can go swimming, go watch the fish, build sandcastles. This is the worst of the trip, okay?" she said, hugging her tight, turning around just in time as she threw up into the toilet.

After she was sick, she fell into a light sleep, resting against Olivia.

Olivia grabbed the cup with the pills and wet towels and walked back out to sit beside Alex, adjusting Georgia in her arms with a sigh.

Alex was awake again, barely, and gave a half smile when she saw Olivia.

"How are you feeling now?" she asked as Alex's head found her shoulder again.

"Warm," Alex spoke with a small slur, her hand lingering a little too long on Olivia's leg.

Olivia lifted Alex's hand, resting it in her own lap. "Plane, people, kid sick, you sick. No."

Alex have a low giggle in her ear and dropped a kiss just below it before resting her head again.

Olivia smiled, looking over across the isle. "How's your wife?"

"Competing for drunkenness with your...umm...partner?"

Olivia nodded with a smile. "I don't think it's safe...or healthy for either to win."

"Try telling them that. Where are you headed?"

She laughed lightly. "Ain't it the truth! Hawaii, for a vacation. You?"

"Same. Got in last minute to some resort. Unfortunately for us, all they had left was the Barbie suite, so I'm probably going to go mad from pink overload."

She tried to contain her laughter. "Well, should prove interesting, then, huh? Your daughter will be happy I bet! How old is she?"

"5. Yours?"

"She's 5. Who knows? Maybe they'll hit it off."

"That'd be nice. She ah…doesn't make friends very easily." Alex lifted her head to nip Olivia's earlobe.

Olivia blushed a bit, pressing Alex's head back to her shoulder. "Yeah, ours doesn't either, but we may have to get them together anyway."

Georgia shifted, her eyes flickering open, a bit of color now in her cheeks. "Are we there yet, Mummy?"

"Not yet. You can go back to sleep," she said, resting a cool cloth on her head.

"She called you mummy," Alex whispered in Olivia's ear, tears shining in her eyes.

Olivia smiled. "I know. She called me that in the bathroom too," she said, kissing her cheek and wiping her tears. "Guess things are getting better, finally. Do you want to hold her for a bit?"

Alex nodded, pulling Georgia to her lap.

* * *

Georgia raced ahead of them as the taxi dropped them off at the their resort. She pointed things out, and kept running back to try and hurry them up, her earlier sickness forgotten. Alex had dark sunglasses on, her excesses on the plane paining her in the bright sun. "Oh God. Next time...I'm pick the hotel. Is that..Porter dressed as Mickey Mouse? Oh God."

Olivia looked over. "Relax, I'm only interested in you. I picked here because I thought she would enjoy it."

"I think I'm allergic to Disney." She allowed Georgia to pull her towards the entrance, leaving Olivia with the bags.

Olivia followed.

The inside of the hotel was so bright that Olivia considered donning sunglasses like Alex. There were people dressed as characters everywhere, bright paint, chocolate..and Georgia had the widest smile on her face she'd ever seen. She was jumping up and down as Alex spoke to the person on the desk, and then ran ahead when the lady gave them a key and told them they were on the third floor. Alex hung back with Olivia, mumbling, "I hate you."

Olivia handed her a bag. "I'm beginning to too, but she'll have a great time. And I know we will too."

Alex sighed as they stepped into the mirrored lift, complete with Disney music. "You owe me, Benson."

She smiled and sighed, taking her hand. "I know. I know. I intend to repay you and you'd better like it."

Alex attempted to hide a smile, elbowing Olivia gently.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think? *****Yes, I know I don't have Hawaii and Disney right, but somehow it works.

Review thanks to: Kikilia14, Bkwrmchar, peterpeter & Cmoni

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	14. Words

**WARNING: This chapter comes with a hint of lemon**

* * *

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 14: Words**

Olivia was lying back on a sun lounger watching Alex as she approached wearing a bikini.

On her left was the man who she'd met on the plane, and he gave a low whistle. "You are one lucky lady."

Olivia cocked her head toward him. "Thanks. I know, right?"

"It's the way she walks as well, full of confidence, so se-"

His wife hit him in the chest. "Go and play with the kids, they're building sandcastles."

Olivia nodded. "That'll teach you for looking at other women," she said as Alex walked over. "Well hi, what can I do for you?"

Alex passed her the sunscreen. "Can you do my back?" She lay on the lounger next to Olivia.

Olivia sat on her knees next to her. "Sure, not a problem," she said, rubbing it on her back. "So, having fun yet?"

"A little on my sides too. Mmm...I am now."

She smiled, clasping her shoulder. "Are you still drunk?"

"Just horny."

"Ah, should've guessed."

She smiled, reaching up to untie to top of her bikini. "A bit harder, please."

Olivia batted her hand away. "Alex!"

"I just want a massage!"

"Oh, okay," she said, pulling the string as she pressed her fingers into her back and neck. Then they glided down her spine to rest at her hips. "How you feeling? Lighter? Harder?"

"Perfect. Wish it was the other side of my body, but it'll do."

Olivia kissed her cheek. "Me too. Anything else?"

"Put something on over those bathers so I don't ravish you?'

Olivia pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, sitting back in her spot.

Alex turned her head to look at her. "Nope, still incredibly good looking."

"Well, I should hope so. You must like athletic types...or at least enough to marry me for that."

"I love athletic types. You think I married you for your mind?"

"Well..." Olivia sighed. "With the way you look right now, I wish we could..."

"We will just have to look forward to the _Beauty and the Beast_ double bed with the huge painting of some…bear or other on the ceiling. Swim?"

"Oh good, then I'll have a reason to wake up screaming," she said, shedding her shirt and shorts.

In the water, men swam around Alex, but she seemed to only have eyes for Olivia, constantly disappearing underwater to fiddle with her bathing suit or kiss her in inappropriate places.

Olivia smiled, wrapping her arms around her when she came back up for air and knocking them over, muffling a moan in her neck.

Alex's legs wrapped around her, and she gave a suggestive smile, but their moment was broken when Georgia called out to them, swimming towards them with her arm floaties on.

Olivia stood up and grabbed her. "Hi, are you having fun?"

"I have a friend! She's the same age as me, and she is staying in the Barbie room, remember we couldn't get it? We built a big sand castle, but some big boys knocked it over. I told them you were police, and they ran away and cried."

Olivia laughed. "That's good, but you probably shouldn't say that all the time."

"You never know who's listening," Alex added.

She talked at them for the next 10 minutes, and Olivia tried to focus as Alex's hand caressed her under the water.

"That sounds like fun. Why don't you go build another sandcastle?"

"Can I get some money from your bag to buy an ice cream for me and Laura?"

Olivia ran over with her, pulled some cash from her purse then swan back to Alex like there was a fire following her.

Alex pulled her body close, pulling her towards the deeper end, pressing her against the wall of the pool.

"Alex, we really shouldn't..."

"Shouldn't what? We're just talking." Alex's leg slid between Olivia's, pressing there.

"But...I...like... Please..."

"So where do you think for dinner?" Alex asked conversationally as her leg began to cause friction, and has hand slipped into the side of Olivia's bathers.

"Oh, I...I don't...kn-ohhh, know, wh-where do-do you..."

"There's the restaurant here...but I'm not sure I could manage to eat anything. There's the nice place we saw on the way in." Alex's fingers slid into her, increasing the friction.

"I...I...'m not s-sure..." she leaned her head into her neck."More, she whispered.

Alex pressed her harder against the wall to keep her still as she increased the pressure.

"What do you feel like eating?"

"You." A moment later, she disappeared under the water, and just as Olivia's body relaxed a little, she felt her tongue.

Olivia felt every muscle in her body aching for release, but...

A few seconds later, Alex appeared again, gasping for air. "What's the matter?"

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "Too much noise."

"Then go underwater with me."

Olivia nodded, going under with her.

Alex gripped her hips, returning to one of her favorite places.

Olivia covered her mouth, groaning as she felt Alex's tongue licking her, grinding into her faster and faster.

Alex silently urged her to hurry, her lungs burning for air.

Olivia went harder and harder, fighting the urge to scream before she pulled Alex up with her.

Alex gasped for air, a wide grin on her face.

Olivia looked better, but not the greatest though she tried to hide it.

"I've been thinking about that for hours."

She sighed. "Yeah...well..."

"Are you ok?" Alex pulled Olivia close, resting against the wall of the pool.

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around her. "No...I wish we were alone and it's not just because of...this."

Alex dropped a kiss to her forehead. "I thought you and Georgia were getting on better."

She nodded. "We are, but..." she pulled Alex's arms to her sides, sitting on the edge."I need...I'm sorry," she got out, and walked over, drying off and donning her shirt and shorts.

Georgia ran up to her, but was intercepted by Alex. "Come on, let's go get changed and find somewhere for lunch!"

"What about Olivia?"

"No doubt she can find some herself."

Olivia turned toward them. "Room," was all she said as she headed in the general direction. Something was off. It wasn't Alex or Georgia.

She turned the lock and walked into the room. She needed time to think. She loved them both. Maybe she was just tired from the flight and hadn't had the energy to tell Alex. She needed a break. She'd been taking care of a sick kid and shoving off Alex's obvious advances on the plane.

* * *

Alex and Georgia returned from lunch a couple of hours later, Georgia requesting a nap. Alex put her in the small room off of theirs. Walking over to their bed, she saw Olivia fast asleep, snoring lightly.

She stood beside the bed for a moment, glanced at the couch, before sitting beside her, pulling out her book.

Olivia rolled onto her side a few hours later, seeing Alex still engrossed in her book, but only just as her eyelids were beginning to droop. She laid an arm across her waist. "Put the book down...nap with me," she said softly.

Alex shook her head, moving her arm away.

"What? If I did something in my sleep-"

"..I thought everything was ok now. You haven't said anything. I've tried to make you feel included. I've tried to spend alone time with you. I don't know what else to do."

Olivia sat up, resting a hand on hers. "I'm exhausted. I know you've tried to include me. I'm glad. Will you just sleep with me for a bit? It hurts to think. I'm sorry."

"I don't...want to, Olivia."

"Wow...you've never said that to me before. Just...let me try to figure it out in...my...sleep," and she passed out.

* * *

When she awoke later, there was a note on the bed from Georgia, but nothing from Alex. "We've gone to have a look around, then we're going to the hotel restaurant. Love you!"

Sighing, she got up and changed, noticing it was about noon. She then, made her way into the flower shop that was inside the hotel - oddly enough - and purchased one red rose and one pink.

The dream - more like a nightmare - had shaken her.

She'd walked into the house after a long case, but they weren't there. The clothes, trinkets, were all gone. All that was left was a note "Your choice made mine easy". Her hands shook as she saw the chain was underneath it.

She didn't want that. She just wished she knew, specifically, how to prevent it. She spotted them with their backs toward her in the restaurant. Hiding them behind her, she walked over and kissed Alex's cheek, resting the red rose on her hand. "Hi," she said, sitting opposite of her.

Alex looked at her, then lowered her eyes to continue scanning the menu as Georgia grinned at her. "You've been asleep HOURS!"

She held up the flower for her. "I know and I'm sorry. I guess the flight really tired me out."

She gasped, taking the flower. "I've never got a flower before. It's so pretty!" She held it to her nose, then stared at it in wonder.

Olivia smiled. "Alex..."

She pushed a menu to her, but didn't look up.

Olivia sighed. "All I can say is I'm sorry. I'll try harder. I...don't want anything I saw happen."

"Why is it something you have to try at? Why can't you just...enjoy it?" Alex asked tersely. Georgia looked between them, worry on her face.

Olivia cleared her throat. "Because...something horrible happened. I came home and both of you were gone. I need to try harder at something. And enjoy myself."

Georgia reached out and clasped Olivia's hand, then offered her a comforting smile. "I wouldn't go. I love you."

Olivia nodded, deciding it was best not to discuss it more as she looked over the menu.

Alex barely looked at her as they ate, and looked strained when Georgia ran off to go to the toilet.

"Has she been sick again?"

"No."

"Okay good. Alex, please don't give up on me. Keep including me. The best answer I have is that I was exhausted and I'm not quite used to this family stuff. I want to be with you."

She scoffed. "Well, you could've fooled me," her hand trembled a bit as she ran her fingers over the rose petals. "Like I said earlier, I tried to include you in the things we were doing, tried to be alone—"

"Underwater with people swimming around us is your version of 'alone'?"

"It had to be, Olivia. We can't just go off and leave her. Do you love her?"

She nodded.

"Liv?"

"I do, I swear."

"But you have to make an effort."

"Of course I have to make some effort. I'm not used to this, but it's not her. I'm learning that."

"Then it must be me," she said with a sigh.

"N-no, i-its—"

"Then tell me what it is so we can fix it!"

"I was just exhausted from taking care of a sick kid and ignoring your half-drunken advances on the plane."

She nodded. "Okay, that's believable."

"Good, so…are we okay?"

Before Alex could reply, Georgia was back.

Alex was still cold towards her, but spoke to her as they ate dessert, and then allowed Georgia to push her hand into Olivia's as she led them to the shopping strip they'd discovered earlier.

Olivia stopped Alex as Georgia entered the toy section, staying where she could see them. "I know what I said was...part of it, but the other part I need to try to figure out on my own. Alex, I, honestly, don't know what to say I want you to help me with. If I knew, I'd tell you. I'll even let you take a stab at it now if you want. You have this ability to see things that are bothering me clearer than I can."

"All I see now, Olivia, is that you were happy when it was just me, and now you're not."

She sighed. "You love her. I...want to, I do. She's the sweetest. I can honestly say though, when we were on the plane and I took her to the bathroom, helping her when she was sick...Alex, I did feel something like you do for her. Something is there. It's just...taking time. Do you believe that?"

"I always knew it would take time, but I never knew it would make you...like this." Alex finally looked at her, but they were interrupted as Georgia raced over, holding a bear.

She tugged at Olivia's hand. "Hey look! If I got this, I could call it Stabler, and he could sit with Benson!"

Olivia bent down to her level. "Hey, that's a good idea. Did you pay for it yet?"

She shook her head, giving a shy smile. "I spent my pocket money already."

Olivia took her hand. "Okay, let's go pay for it," she said as they walked toward the store.

The woman at the counter gave a smile. "I don't normally allow children to walk out with toys unpaid, but she gave me her other bear to look after, and told me her mummy was a police woman, so I thought it was safe enough."

Olivia nodded, pulling her coat to verify it for her while she paid. Then she turned to Georgia. "Next time you really, really want something, like maybe in here, just ask the nice lady to hold it up here for you and come find me, okay? I don't think she would have a problem with that," she said, handing her both bears.

"...But I like telling people you're my mummy. I'm...proud of you."

Olivia smiled. picking her up to sit her on the edge of the counter. "I know, sweetie, but you can't walk off with something. It's stealing and that's wrong, but, with this you're okay because you found us right away. But like if you asked someone to hold it for you while you got one of us, that's ok."

She gave a sigh, then gave a cheeky smile. "Well ok. As long as you buy me an ice cream."

She smiled, sitting her on the floor, hugging her. She felt...warmth that she hadn't before and the simple words spilled. "I love you, kid. Why don't you go find Alex and ask if she wants some too?"

She nodded and raced towards Alex who sat on the wall outside, basking in the sun.

Alex suddenly felt someone hugging her legs. "Hi sweetie! Oh, did Benson get a friend?"

"Yep. This is Stabler. We want to go for ice-cream. Olivia wants to know if you want one too."

"Yep, I could go for some. Should we go find her?"

Meanwhile, Olivia was just walking out of the toy store with a bag in her fist.

They approached her, and Alex noticed something different in her smile.

Olivia walked over. "So, are we ready to go?"

Alex nodded, looking at her curiously.

Olivia stood next to her. "What? Something in my teeth?"

"You look...nothing. I think there's an ice creamery a few streets down if you don't mind a walk."

Olivia nodded, leaning in to kiss her, but then remembered and pulled away, extending her hand instead.

Alex reached up and dropped a gentle kiss to her cheek, before pulling her along to follow Georgia.

Olivia smiled, gripping her hand lightly. "I don't know how you put up with me. Love you, really," she said, kissing her cheek.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: deadlockQ, peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, LadyBelle84, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	15. Bonding

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 15: Bonding**

The next day Olivia woke earlier than usual, ran a few errands and was back in bed before either of them awoke. After the years of putting up with her, no breaks, Olivia figured Alex deserved this day. She kissed her deeply, wrapping her arms around her. "Alex."

Alex responded instinctively, her arms wrapping around her neck, pulling her close.

"Good morning, gorgeous," she whispered into her ear. "I have a surprise for you if you'll just wake up."

Alex's eyes opened slowly, one hand sliding down to caress Olivia's cheek. "Mmm?"

"How would you like a day at the spa and sauna in the hotel while I take Georgia where she wants to go?"

A smile flickered. "You know that means other woman caressing my body?"

"Professionally, Lex. I'll take care of your other needs when we get back. I spoke to the other couple who have the daughter, Laura, the one Georgia is friends with. They'll take her for a bit," she nipped at her neck, "while we..." her hands cupped Alex's bare breasts, rubbing gently as she nuzzled her neck.

Alex's body arched into Olivia's for a moment before she pushed her off. "Assuming I want to."

She nodded, sitting up. "Yes, assuming so. I'm...sorry about that, but will you, at least, consider it? We could go for a drink too, if you don't feel like it."

Alex sat up, pulling on Olivia's hands until they wrapped around her waist, and resting her own on her arms, caressing their strongness. "How about we go on a date. Get to know each other.'

"Again? Sure, whatever you want. That actually sounds really good. I can go out with her, you can go for relaxation—that is, if you want to—I'll drop her off after a few hours, then come find you. Sound good?"

Alex nodded, leaning forward to drop a tender kiss to Olivia's lips before standing to get ready.

Olivia walked in to wake Georgia, seeing she'd fallen halfway out of bed during the night. She picked her up, sitting with her and stroking her hair from her face.

She'd set Benson and Stabler up on the shelf so they could watch her as she slept, and she had a set of photos of her and Alex, taken the day before in a booth, resting on her pillow.

Olivia smiled, seeing Alex poke her head in. "Yes? Something I can do for you, Mrs. Benson?"

"Just wondering what you were doing. You don't normally…"

She shrugged. "Well, do you not want me to? Besides, she was halfway out of bed."

"...Sometimes she sleepwalks. I thought it would have woken you."

She shook her head.

Alex stood there for a moment, watching as Georgia sleepily wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck, before lowering her eyes. "I'll… see you later."

"Alex..."

"Later, Liv." It was the first time in several weeks she hadn't used her full name.

Olivia quickly laid her back in bed, following her. "Alex, do—would you rather not go? I-I didn't mean you had to...I..."

Alex lifted a finger to place it to Olivia's lips. "I think it's a perfect Idea."

She smiled, wrapping an arm around her and resting her head on her shoulder. "I'm glad. Alex, I don't mean to be cold, but this is new to me - with her - and I'm sorry if it upsets you."

"..Let's talk about it later, okay?"

She nodded, kissing her softly, feeling the warm fire that was there, but it was...like she was afraid of something. She pulled away. "I love you."

* * *

Georgia loved spending the day alone with Olivia. She hung on her every word, and barely let go of her hand.

"Where should we go next?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"We could go to the beach again, go swimming, or build a sandcastle."

"But my bathing suit is still all wet and sandy..." She looked hopefully towards the shops.

"Okay, we can go walk through the shops, but no taking anything."

She nodded, skipping happily next to her.

Olivia was right behind her when a large group passed by. When the group cleared, she was gone. "Georgia?" she walked up a few more steps. "GEORGIA!" she called, but still didn't get an answer. She started to run. "Georgia, where are you?"

People watched her, but no one came to help.

Georgia continued to skip happily until she suddenly realize she couldn't see Olivia anymore. She stopped and looked around.

"Georgia!" she continued to shout, but still got no answer. Her mind was running even faster than her legs. The little girl depended on them, looked up to them, idolized them. She loved them so much! If Olivia couldn't find her, she would never be able to forgive herself. "Georgia!"

Georgia looked around nervously. "Olivia?"

She continued to run, but had to stop to catch her breath. She spotted the couple they'd sat next to a few feet away and ran over, nearly doubling over from lack of air. "Ha-have y-you guys s-seen Georgia? W-we were w-walking, big group passed..."

They shook their heads, but offered to help look.

Georgia tried to remember what she'd been told to do if she ever got lost and sat down, tears falling when the shop owner shooed her away, telling her not to sit on her step.

Olivia and the girl's mother, Sara, ran one direction while her husband Derek and their daughter took the other. "Dammit! She was right beside me and then...God, Alex might kill me!"

"Kids get lost all the time, Calm down." Unaware of Olivia's job, she tried to reassure her as they looked.

She shook her head. "I have a reason to be this paranoid. In my job I see...well, let's just say 'unstable' people, on a daily basis."

"What do...can you hear that?" There was a soft crying coming from behind a rack of clothing outside a shop.

Olivia stopped. "Yeah, I can. It's coming from there," she pointed to the clothing rack. "Georgia?"

There was no reply, but her pink shoes poked out from underneath the clothing.

Olivia motioned for Sara to stay there. "Text your husband," she whispered, walking over and parting the clothes. "Georgia?"

Slowly, her tear-stained, pale face poked out.

Olivia pulled her out, picking her up. "Here you are! What happened?"

Georgia held tightly to her. "I couldn't see you anymore! I tried to stay in the same place but the lady got cross and I was scared so I hid. I thought you'd got sick of me!"

Olivia shook her head, holding her close. "No, honey, never! I promise! I've been looking all over for you. We all have," she said, motioning to the others. "Worried sick!"

She hiccupped, wiping her tears on Olivia's top before burying her head in her shoulder.

She walked back over to them. "Thank you so much for the help. I suppose you want to go back to the room now?" she asked Georgia, sighing, muttering. "There goes our date night, but things happen."

* * *

Georgia was still in Olivia's arms, refusing to let go, when Alex returned to the hotel room, wondering where Olivia was and why she hadn't turned up. "Here you are!"

Olivia nodded, rocking her gently. "Sorry. We had a...crisis, but it's better now, a bit anyway."

"What happened?" She placed a kiss to Georgia's head, then to Olivia's.

Olivia sighed, hesitating slightly. "Just don't yell. She's still semi-conscious." She then explained what had happened and how they'd been sitting there for the past two hours like that.

Several emotions flew over her face as Olivia spoke, but when she'd finished, Alex remained silent.

Georgia whined, holding tighter around her neck. "Shh," Olivia whispered. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you," she said, rocking her gently, looking to Alex. "I was concerned with finding her and once I did, she glued herself to me. I...I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

Alex sighed and sat on the bed. "That's not..I..she obviously feels your emotions too, Olivia, or she wouldn't have worried you'd just get sick of her and leave."

She sighed. "Yeah, but this...really opened my eyes. Sure things...are different, but I still love you and you still love me and now...it's just expanded with her."

Alex gave a soft laugh. "What does that even mean, Liv?"

"What does what mean?"

"I don't...know what you feel anymore. I don't know that you still love me, or that you love her. You say you do, but...I can't seem to read you anymore."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I used to be able to tell how you felt, even when you didn't. Now when I look at you...I just feel confused."

Olivia felt Georgia's arms drop, so she rested them in her lap and laid her in the next room, leaving the door open and walking back over to Alex, dropping in front of her and taking her hands. "Alex, I love you. I always have and I always will. What has you confused?"

"Everything. I want us to be a family, Liv. Not just Georgia, but other children as well. If it's going to be this hard every time..."

Olivia kissed her hands. "That's what seems strange to me. Whenever I think of one of us having a baby, I-I just... it feels right. She's the first child who's actually made me see that I can do this, be a mother, even with what we both see daily. It won't be this hard every time," she reached up, kissing her lips gently. "Even before we were together. I was torn on the subject."

Alex sighed, looking into her eyes earnestly. "Just..tell me. Outright. Are you happy with the way things are now?"

"Yes. Although, I could go for more 'us' time. Maybe take her out for ice cream on occasion. Would you want...sometime...? I know I was worried about you going off on your own at one point. Yes, I want more kids, maybe not right this minute, but... Are you happy?"

"I want us to be a family. Not You and me, and Georgia, or Georgia and I, and you. I want us to be a family. Work out who is going to pick her up from school, who will cook dinner, help her with her homework, decide things about her together. That would make me happy."

"And more kids someday would make you...sad?"

Alex smiled, caressing Olivia's hand. "No, but don't get me started thinking about that just yet."

She nodded. "Do you want to figure it out now?"

They spent the next couple of hours while Georgia slept discussing things, Alex insisting on writing out a plan with the title 'The Benson Family' and Olivia found herself gazing happily at the title. By the time Georgia awoke, they were both happier and more relaxed than they had been in months.

Olivia was lying on the bed, Alex in her arms, content when Georgia walked back in. "Well, hey sleepyhead."

She looked somewhat suspiciously between them, before climbing onto the bed and standing over them. "What have you been doing?"

Olivia laid the list on the nightstand. "Oh just...talking, figuring things out, right?" She looked to Alex.

Alex nodded, discreetly removing her hand from Olivia's backside. "...Well, as long as you're not talking about going home. Because I'm ok now."

Olivia took her hand as she lay in Alex's lap. "Really? You're sure?"

She nodded. "I just decided...you'll have to buy me a cell phone."

Alex choked on the water she'd taken a sip of. "You're 5!"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, that-that seems kinda soon," She patted Alex's back until she stopped coughing. "You okay, Lex?"

"But Laura has one and she's 5! And it would mean if I got lost again, you could call me! Laura's one is special. It's pink, and she can only call her mom or her dad on it."

"Hmmm," Olivia mused. "Pre-programmed. It'd be for emergencies only. It could have our numbers, both of them, Elliot's and 9-1-1. Actually, considering the city... Alex, what's your take on this?"

Alex sighed. "I didn't have my first phone until I was in my 20's. I'm feeling so old right now. How about we go look at them tomorrow, talk to the people who make them, then decide?"

Olivia smiled. "God, I feel old! I didn't use one until I was in the academy, but that sounds good."

Georgia jumped up and down on the bed, thanking them profusely until Alex managed to get her off, telling her to go and wash her face so they could go out to dinner. "Good work, partner."

Olivia rolled her onto her stomach, kissing her deeply. "Mmmm, hopefully we can still have that date night sometime soon."

"We will. Promise."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

_The next chapter will have a major lemon!_

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	16. Date Night

**WARNING: This chapter contains extremely mature adult content.**

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 16: Date Night**

_A week later…_

Olivia was waiting in Alex's office. She'd dropped Georgia off at Elliot's. She was a little nervous, but she figured Elliot's family would be okay. As soon as his daughters saw her, they instantly took her upstairs to play. Olivia promised to call if they weren't going to pick her up, handing Kathy a small bag.

Kathy had had to reassure her several times before Olivia would leave, laughing quietly to herself as Olivia had finally left.

Alex meanwhile was relieved her day had finally finished. She'd been up at 6 and now had the weekend to look forward to. She stepped from the lift and walked towards her office, stopping outside the door as she smelt something familiar. A smile lit her face and she took several steps away, pulling out her phone, dialing Olivia's number.

"Benson," she answered.

"I'm so sorry, Liv! I'm stuck at the courthouse, still. I might even be another couple of hours! Would you mind coming down and bringing me a coffee?"

"Sure, no problem," she said, hanging up and walking from the room.

When she saw Olivia get into the lift, Alex slipped back into her office, pulling out the lingerie bag she'd had hidden behind a pile of books for what seemed like years. She squashed it into her briefcase and made her way quickly to their apartment.

When she guessed Olivia had got coffee and was on the way to the courthouse, she sent her a message. "All done here. I'll just meet you at home. I'm so tired." She silently thanked Kathy for the message to tell her Olivia had left Georgia with them and slipped on the lingerie.

"Okay, sounds good. See you soon."

* * *

Alex left a trail of clothes from the door to the bedroom, then lay on the bed.

Five minutes later, Olivia walked into the house, smiling upon seeing the trail of clothes. She she'd her jacket, then continued to follow. "Alex?"

"..I thought we'd just skip dinner," Alex spoke softly as Olivia appeared in the doorway.

Her look of shock turned to amusement, then to lust as it arousal pooled in her gut as she set the coffee on the dresser. She smiled, walking over. "I've never...seen this little lacy thing," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I bought it for our honeymoon, but as you ripped everything else, and I kinda liked this, I thought I'd save it for another time..."

She smiled. "Yeah, sorry about that. Excitement." She turned toward her. "So, now what?" she asked, smirking with a sparkle in her eye.

"It's all up to you. Although...you are a little overdressed."

Olivia stood, facing her. "I could use a little help. Do you mind?" she asked with a smile.

Alex stood up too, a smile on her face as Olivia saw the extent of her clothing. "What do you need help with first?"

She swallowed, hard, multiple times. The sheer red lace seemed to contrast perfectly with the paleness of her skin, the soft light making her glow. "Well, i-it might be safe to remove my gum and badge first," she replied as she stepped out of her shoes.

Alex reached out, her delicate hands caressing Olivia's arms. "You always said I'm not allowed to touch either of those things."

Olivia shivered, feeling the soft warmth of her hands, like trails of fire along her arms. "Who said that?"

"You did. Don't you remember? You said, I quote, 'Don't oh fuck...don't touch...my...uh...gun...or badge...ever...again...oh god!"

She smiled. "Really?" she said, slipping them off and setting them on the nightstand. "I don't recall saying the words fuck or oh god, but from you, I could listen all night long."

"Really? Like...fuck, Liv. Oh god, right there?"

She closed her eyes, willing herself to enjoy this nice, long night. "Mhm...you know," her brown eyes flickered open, "it's times like now I wish I could just fuck everything out of you, but, alas, I have no equipment. Oh, and the shirt can go next."

Alex smiled, her hands sliding down instead to grasp Olivia's hands, her mouth capturing Olivia's for a moment. "You've always managed with these."

Olivia stood still, hands still clasped in hers, sighing as she pulled away. "I realize that, but even just once... Don't you wish?"

Alex smiled, her eyes shining a little. "I love you...and how you work, perfectly, Liv...but anything you want to try...I'm open to."

"So, even just this once...?" she smiled. "While you were away I, uh, bought a few things..."

Alex smiled and unbuttoned Olivia's shirt. "What kind of things?"

She pulled a bag out from under the bed, pulling out a leather something-or-other. She had one a long time ago, but had never used it...herself, along with, what Alex thought looked like...

"I-is that a sex toy? I-I mean I know it is, but you? Y-you're so private and... You actually bought a sex toy?"

Olivia nodded. "We don't have to use it. I had one a long time ago, but never used it myself. I never thought I would use it so I got rid of it... Does it bother you?"

Alex stared at her, her mouth a little open. "I just…can't imagine you going into a shop. Buying one."

She looked down at the items. "I, uh, was kinda incognito. After all, people do know me. Do you not want to?"

"...As long as you don't have it because you feel you're not enough for me, Liv."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "That's not it. I-I was curious, just not curious enough to use it myself. I didn't have many girlfriends before you, but the first one was really, really into this... I found out that I liked it, but I never trusted myself – or who I was with – enough to try it. Lex, I know you love me just the way I am, but I would like to try this with you. Now the only question is first or second?"

Alex smiled, caressing her arms again, then smiled again. "You pick. You're in charge, Benson."

Olivia smiled, placing the items on the nightstand for a bit later. "You do know I'm still dressed, right?"

"I thought you might want to give me a bit of a show. I did dress up for you, after all."

Olivia smiled, sitting her back on the bed. She undid her belt, letting it slide slowly through the notches and lay at Alex's feet. Then she undid the button and zipper on her jeans, slowly exposing the strong muscles in her thighs, legs then calves, kicking them to the side.

"Look better?" she asked with a raised brow. She's been watching Alex's breathing intently and when her thighs had begun to be exposed her breathing changed. Olivia figured it was probably from all the times she'd wrap herself around her just to cop a few feels.

Alex nodded, her eyes glue to Olivia's legs.

Olivia put a bit of a sway in her hips, strutting closer to her. "Like something?" she asked, while unhooking her bra and letting it fall to the floor. Alex had always had a har-no, fascination-with how strong and muscular her legs were. And she loved to hear the intake of breath as soon as she got close enough to her. "You can touch."

Alex reached out a hand to caressed them, her breath catching in her throat. "I love your legs."

She smiled, sliding her boxers down—as Alex ceased her caress momentarily—and stepped out of them. "I know. Guess what else? If we use that dildo and riding crop, my thighs will thrust up, up, up, into yours," she said, while drawing lines on her thighs. "Would you like that?"

Alex nodded, her eyes still trained to the muscles that were already rippling under her fingers.

"When?" she whispered. "Now or later?"

"Now," Alex whispered.

Olivia smiled, nodding. "Well then, first we must do something about this," she nipped at her neck, "lovely, but distracting attire? Don't you think?"

Alex nodded, her hands still on Olivia's thighs, her breathing shaky.

Olivia grabbed the top, attempting to pull it over her head, but didn't get very far with Alex's hands still gripping her legs. She sighed, dropping it. "You do this. I'll...get everything ready, okay?"

Alex nodded, but then pulled her down to give her a hard kiss.

Olivia moaned into her lips, nibbling on the bottom before pulling away. She grabbed the items walked from the room. Five minutes later, she returned, fully equipped, seeing Alex standing beside the bed with nothing on, smiling.

"How?" That was all she asked before Alex pulled her closer for a deep kiss, squashing it between them.

Alex's hands returned to her thighs, smiling into her lips. "Feels weird."

She nodded. "It does...at first. Now, at the risk of sounding dominant, pick a position. Unless, of course, you'd care to hump my leg all night. I know how much you love them."

Alex gave a quiet laugh, then pulled back a little, looking into Olivia's eyes. "Lie down."

"Me or you?" she asked.

"You."

Although Olivia hadn't noticed, she suddenly felt the sharpness of the whip against her thigh.

"Now."

She nodded, lying back against the pillows. "I'm yours. Do as you wish."

Alex straddled her, resting on her thigh for a moment to look down at her, biting her lip. Just as Olivia was about to say it was ok, they didn't have to, she moved to her knees again, leaning forward to capture Olivia's lips as she lowered herself down.

Olivia smiled, her hands steadying Alex as she slipped down onto it, wincing, nearly letting tears leak from the girth just as she was inches from their skin colliding. Olivia held her stationary a moment. "Alex, do you want to stop?"

"No, just...not used to it anymore." Alex took Olivia's hands and brought them to her mouth, kissing them and allowing them to wipe away several tears as she moved a little, but suddenly her gasps from pain turned to gasps from pleasure.

Olivia smiled, her hands moving back down to rest on her hips. "You're almost there, baby. Can you take it anymore?"

Her eyes still closed, her mouth open a little, on the verge of saying Olivia's name, their skin finally touched.

Olivia's hands ran her ribcage again and again. "Look at me."

Her eyes flickered open and she looked at Olivia through a haze.

"Are you okay? Can I...move? Or...do you want to?"

"How about both?" Alex smiled down at her, a loud gasp escaping her mouth when Olivia moved.

Olivia nodded. "Can you reach the headboard?"

Alex nodded, her hands grasping it, her eyes locked with Olivia's.

She smiled up at her. "You start. From this position, I don't want to go too hard incase it's too much."

Alex swallowed, nodding, and after a few tentative movements, her eyes shut again as she moved faster, moaning Olivia's name.

Olivia thrust upward steadily, her hands gently holding her hips. Her breathing was speeding up. Every time Alex came down the head of the toy pressed into her clit. It wasn't painful. She just wasn't used to it. "Come on, Lex! I know you want to... I-I c-can see it."

Alex lowered a hand to grasp one of Olivia's, pulling one up to her breast, lowering herself a little for more friction.

Olivia cupped and squeezed, rolling the pert bud between her digits. "That's...it."

Alex tried, but she still felt something was missing. The feeling of being connected properly to Olivia, she yearned for to just take her over the edge.

"Wh-what? What's wr-wrong?"

"I need...I need..you."

Olivia nodded, still not quite understanding. "How?"

She grasped her hand, leading it down to the stop between her legs that was aching for her.

Olivia instinctively stroked the engorged nub lightly, moaning at the warmth Alex created. "Does this feel better?"

Alex attempted to confirm it did, but the feeling she'd been desperate for finally sent her over the edge, her back arching as she cried out.

Olivia quickly took her wrists and pulled her down to her, afraid of the injury the reverse reaction would cause. She smiled. "Alex, I need you to lay down on me. That way I can turn to the side and pull away, okay?"

Alex fell against her, still gasping in her ear.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, turning to kiss her cheek, and rolled onto her side. "One, two, three," she pulled away and maneuvered out of it, dropping it to the floor and laying in bed again, pulling her close.

She winced. "Ouch! Dammit! I knew I should've repositioned the thing so I could finish off too. It'd just been so long," she explained, "that when you came down again it was...well, uncomfortable, so I moved it to the side of my clit. But I wish I hadn't because you're still catching your breath and I'm pretty well wound up..."

"I could always...use it on you."

"You...you've used one?"

"No, but I will if you want me too."

She nodded. "Please be gentle though. I'm about ready to come just from the thought, okay?"

Alex nodded and stood on shaky legs. . .

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	17. Vegetables

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 17: "Vegetables"**

_One year later…_

Alex was waiting for Georgia outside of school. When the bell rang she raced over. "Hi!" Alex said, picking her up.

"I thought Olivia was coming today?"

"She was, but she needed to finish up a case. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, guess so. I just wanted to show her the painting I'm doing for your birthday. Can we go and see her?"

She nodded. "Yeah, she said she was just finishing up paperwork."

"Ok. Hey look! They've brought Liam's little sister!" She pulled Alex over to look at the week old baby.

Alex walked over with her, seeing the girl with dark brown hair and deep blue eyes. "She's adorable!" she said. "What's her name?"

"Olivia."

She looked at Georgia. "Really? That's an odd coincidence, isn't it?"

The mother gave Alex a smile. "Georgia here tells me she's expecting to have 5 sisters and perhaps a brother, if he doesn't smell, before the year is out."

She smiled, ruffling her hair. "She's got quite the imagination! She is very beautiful though."

"Would you like to hold her?"

Alex nodded, gesturing to a bench a few feet away which they went to.

In her arms, the baby gazed up at her, gurgling happily. "You're a natural."

She looked up at the mother. "Me? Nah, I have a younger brother and sister. Olivia and I only have Georgia."

"Only for now, if Georgia gets her way."

She nodded. "Yes, IF, but we haven't really talked about it..."

"Maybe you should. I should get off now, but we can chat another time, if you'd like."

"Yeah, us too," she said, handing the infant back to her. Then she pulled a card from her pocket. "My cell, if you feel like chatting. Come on, Georgia," she took her hand, pulling her towards the car.

* * *

At the office, Georgia raced to Olivia's desk. "Alex is going to have a baby."

Olivia spat out her coffee, choking on it. "Wh-what?" she said, trying to regain her breath.

"She's going to have a baby! It's going to be called Milly, like that baby on TV and she's going to get huge and fat and then one day she's going to wee everywhere like Liam's mum did, then the baby will come and I will have a sister!"

Olivia covered her mouth quickly. "Never, and I do mean never, ever call her fat. It's not nice," then she took her hand away as Alex walked over.

"Sorry, I was talking to Cragen about something. She hasn't disturbed you, has she?"

She laughed a bit. "Only told me the great news!"

"What's that? Passing her spelling test, getting EVERY word correct?"

"No. Something about you...and a baby. Is there something you haven't told me?" she asked with a smile, leaning back in her chair. "I know we talked about it early on, but isn't this a bit fast?"

"Oh. Ah yeah, sorry, couldn't wait. Elliot and I had a quickie in the interrogation room last week."

"What's a quickie?" Georgia asked.

Alex turned her back. "Nu-uh! This is all on you!"

"How 'bout you go ask Uncle Elliot? He's pretty good at explaining these things."

As Georgia ran off, Alex rested on the edge of Olivia's desk. "She's been telling EVERYONE that she's going to get a million sisters and maybe one brother before the year is out, so you better get impregnating, Benson."

She laughed, pulling Alex into her lap. "Sorry, _Benson_, the only one I'd ever be that concerned with," she rested a hand on her stomach, "is this one."

"When you gonna help me make one then?"

"Really?"

"..If you want to." Alex looked nervously into her eyes, the conversation suddenly turning serious.

Georgia raced back. "Elliot said he wouldn't have a quickie with you because he can't afford any more sprouts. So is a quickie going shopping for vegetables?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, let's go with that."

She nodded, and raced of to tell Munch who'd told her he hadn't a clue what it was when she'd asked him.

Alex kept her eyes on Olivia's.

Olivia stood up, taking Alex's hand. "Any free interrogation rooms? To talk?"

They walked to one, and Alex shut the door, leaning against it. "..I didn't mean to bring it up while you were at work. There was just a baby at school and..."

Olivia pulled the blinds. "It was bound to come up sooner or later. Do you...really?"

"Yes."

Olivia walked over, wrapping her arms around her. "Good. So do I. And it'll be ours..."

"But...how would we...which one is going to..."

"Well, you were the one who was hell-bent on it a year ago," she smiled. "I want you to. I want to be there with you, hear it's heartbeat, feel it move. I'll volunteer for the egg. But also, my job requires that I run, fall and get shot at on a regular basis, so..."

There was a knock on the door and Elliot's voice suddenly rang out, "You two better not be shopping for vegetables in there."

Olivia sighed. "Relax, I don't have the 'equipment' to plant," even as she said it she started to laugh.

Alex stood there thoughtfully, tugging Olivia's hand. "..You don't suppose Elliot might..."

She rolled her eyes. "He already said no, remember? Unless you don't want part of my growing inside of you for eight to nine months..."

"But an egg needs something to make it grow, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, but aren't there banks for that? They give you books to read all the donor's qualities. It'd be the only way for the two of us to do this without..."

"Would you rather someone random, or someone you know? And no, I wouldn't have to do anything _with_ him, he can do his…business elsewhere and a doctor can sort the rest out."

"Alex, he wouldn't do it. He..." her mind drifted back to years before when she'd told Elliot the adoption agency turned her down. "You know, he has...offered and I think he was being serious, but still..."

"All we can do is ask him."

She nodded. "Yeah, but I'd feel better if we asked Kathy too. He did give her 5 kids..."

"Kathy and I have sort of already talk about this. Shouldn't we get back out there? We've sort of abandoned the child we do have."

Olivia nodded. "But can we all talk about this soon?"

Alex nodded, kissing her gently before leaving the room.

Olivia followed her out, seeing Georgia spinning in her chair.

"Aren't you dizzy?" Alex asked.

"Yes, but watch!" She stood from the chair and laughed breathlessly as she stumbled around. "Look, I'm drunk!"

"Munch!" Olivia yelled.

He waved an apology before giving a thumbs up to Georgia."

Olivia nodded, grabbing her jacket. "Let's go home."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14, jba42, eliminatetheshadows, & deadlockQ

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	18. Talk

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 18: Talk**

Alex had gotten changed several times as Olivia watched from the bed. "We're not going out on a date with them! I'm sure they won't care what you wear!"

"Yes, but if I wear something too revealing, they will get the wrong idea, if I wear something too formal Elliot will clam up, if I wear-"

She stopped as Olivia pressed a kiss to her lips. "They're coming over for dinner, nothing formal, just calm down. What you have on is perfect. And besides, I'm pretty sure I just heard a knock on the door so you don't have time to change again anyway."

Olivia walked out and opened the door. "Hi. How are you?"

Kathy gave a smile. "Hi, Elliot's just parking the car."

She smiled. "Good, come sit. Alex, quit changing outfits and get out here!"

Kathy smiled. "Surprisingly, Elliot was worried about what to wear tonight as well."

"Really? Why? Was he hoping to—no, y-you know what? I can't even...Alex!"

"It's ok. Alex and I have already talked about it. At least a little. I'm...well, I have no idea how Elliot feels on the issue, and after all it's his ah...his...that we're talking about, but if I were you two, I would prefer it to be someone I know, especially with your job, and I wouldn't mind at all if Elliot wanted to…help."

She smiled, sitting beside her, or at least tried to as it was a bit awkward. "Yeah, she didn't tell me until a few days ago. It does make sense though. With my job and the amount that I get hit, shoved and shot...well, that's why I'm not going to risk..." she smiled as Alex finally walked out. "Hi."

She was about to reply when Elliot walked in, complete with Hawaiian shirt and tight jeans. "Oh God."

Olivia stood up and took her arm, leading her to the couch, trying her best not to laugh. "This will, officially, be the most awkward conversation I've ever had, if all goes well."

Alex and Elliot stayed completely silent, forcing Olivia and Kathy to have awkward conversation until suddenly, when in the middle of dinner, Alex blurted out, "We need sperm!"

Olivia looked down. "So much for trying to work it into the conversation, but how would we? I've been going over it in my head and what Alex just said didn't come out half as smoothly."

Her nerves, giving her an unsettled stomach, covered in spaghetti, suddenly made Alex run for the bathroom.

Elliot was bright red. "I've already offered. As long as I don't have to not that I wouldn't like to, but it would be a bit…"

Olivia nodded, standing. "Will you two excuse me a minute? I'll be back," she said, running into their bathroom, seeing Alex over the toilet, trying to keep her hair back. "Here, I've got it. Just relax...I've got the feeling I'm going to be saying that a lot."

Alex attempted a laugh before being sick again.

"It's okay, Lex. Just try to calm down," she said, rubbing her back.

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, just...I really want this, Liv."

Olivia turned her and hugged her gently. "I want this too. But I think it's better if we ask nicely instead of just blurting it out," she said, feeling her shake. "Aww! Lex, what's the matter? It's gonna be okay."

"What if he…if they say no? I don't want a stranger, Liv, not after what we see every day. I-" She stopped when she saw Elliot in the doorway.

He walked in silent, then squatted in front of them, taking Alex's hand and looking from Olivia to her. "I would be honored to help you guys."

Olivia smiled. "See? So, I take it, Kathy...explained?"

He nodded, sitting back on his heels a little as Alex was sick again. "We'll um…leave you two to it. Just let me know when and where, for a doctor's appointment or anything, and I'll be there."

She nodded. "I would stand up and hug you, but..." she felt Alex lean into her."Would you mind bringing Georgia back over? I don't feel right leaving Alex here alone."

He nodded, unable to resist one of his usual jokes. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist me forever, Cabot."

She groaned. "Yeah, well it's not gonna be the way you wanted it. My wife takes care of those needs."

He winked at Olivia before leaving the room.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	19. White

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 19: White**

Alex rolled over in bed, the queasiness in her stomach becoming too much as she raced to the bathroom and puked. She'd already had her hair tied back so she didn't have to worry. This had been happening a lot lately. When she was scared, nervous, ate the wrong food - mostly spicy - or got a whiff of a really pungent odor, she'd double over.

For the last few weeks, though, it hadn't happened as much. The only really strange things were craving for pickles, which she wasn't particularly fond of and couldn't figure out the reason.

She sighed, wishing Olivia were with her, but she was still working. She laid down on the cold tile floor and closed her eyes for only a minute.

Georgia walked into the bathroom and stared at Alex's sleeping form with wide eyes, then she ran from the room, dialing Olivia's number.

Olivia tiredly answered the phone through a yawn. "Benson."

"Alex is on the bathroom floor and she's all funny colored."

"What?" she asked, eyes wider, though not sure if she heard right. "Funny colored?"

"She's all white!"

"Oh God! Uh, okay! Stay there! I'm coming right now! I have to go. Something's...something's not right."

Elliot looked over. "Want me to come?"

She nodded. "Please! Georgia said Alex is on the bathroom floor pure white!"

He grabbed his jacket, following her, driving so she could stay on the phone.

By her request, Georgia walked slowly back into the bathroom, saying Alex's name quietly, "...She's not saying anything."

Olivia nodded. "Okay, is her skin warm where it's not touching the floor?"

Georgia reached forward to touch her face, and Alex gave a groan, her eyes flickering open.

"Georgia...? What are you doing? You should be in bed."

Georgia pushed the phone to Alex, wondering if she'd done the wrong thing by calling Olivia. She rubbed her face, wondering why she was sitting in the bathroom. "Hello?"

"Alex? My God! Are you ok? Elliot and I are on our way over. Georgia said you'd passed out on the floor and were as white as a sheet."

"I was just...half asleep when I went to the bathroom. You know what I'm like."

"You still don't sound good," she hung up and Alex wondered why until she heard the door open. "Alex! Georgia!"

Georgia ran out to her, and Alex attempted to stand, willing her head to stop spinning.

Olivia handed her to Elliot and went to help her. "Honey, I think you have a nasty flu virus. Elliot, can you please lay Georgia in bed?"

"I'm fine, Liv!"Alex pushed her off and shuffled back towards the bed.

Olivia walked behind her slowly. "Alex, you've been sick as a dog the past month. Anything that upsets you makes you puke, you cry at strange times, the cravings! I swear it's like...like you...like..." she sat on the bed beside her. "...She said it was a 2 in 25 chance..."

"Of what?" Alex asked sleepily, the warmth of the bed already curling around her.

Olivia laid on top of the covers as Elliot walked in, noticing she was nearly crying. "Alex, I-I think it finally may have worked..."

Elliot hesitated, then left the room silently, knowing it should be a moment for them to be alone.

"Mmm." Alex replied, almost asleep already.

She leaned down by her ear, kissing it. "I think the last treatment worked. I think...you might be pregnant."

"I think we're out of pickles," Alex mumbled, her head nestling into Olivia.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "We can get more," she said, slipping away, meeting Elliot who was waiting on the couch.

"Is she okay?"

"Fine. Just worried about Alex. Is she-"

Before he could finish, Alex was in the room, pacing. "How in the hell-? She said 2 in 25! We decided to wait a bit. I haven't even asked for time off of work yet! "

Olivia walked over, hooking her arm to stop her. "We'll figure it out. Now please at least sit down. She said there would be much more risk if this one worked."

She threw a glare at Elliot as she sat. "What are you doing here? Are there any pickles left?"

Olivia sighed. "He was my ride and I think we're out of pickles. Sorry, she's—"

"Why were you even out at work so late? What if I'd been...dying on the bathroom floor? You really want a 6-year-old to find that? You said you'd be home after dinner and unless you think we have dinner at midnight…"

Elliot grinned, patting Olivia on the back as Alex continued. "Welcome to my world. I'll let myself out."

She nodded. "Thanks for the lift."

As he left, Alex finally ran out of steam and sat back, swearing softly. "You need to go out."

"What?"

"We need a test."

Olivia laid her head on her shoulder. "Okay, I'll go, but try to get a little sleep, please?"

"As long as you promise to wake me up when you get back. I don't want to think it worked and then..."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "Find out it was a dream?"

Alex nodded, but called out to Olivia again when she reached the door. "And Liv...pickles too, 'kay?"

Olivia walked back over, hugging her and wrapping the blanket around her. "You got it, but I promise we'll be okay."

* * *

When Olivia returned, after a long search for Alex's favorite pickles, she found both her and Georgia wide awake, attempting to bake a cake.

Olivia smiled, three tests in her pocket as she set the pickles on the counter. "Guys, it's 1AM. We should be in bed."

"We are making a cake in case we have something celebrate!" Offered Georgia, licking her fingers.

"Someone was listening in to our conversation," Alex offered, attempting to open the pickle jar before handing it to Olivia.

Olivia sighed, picking Georgia up. "You are not to have sweets this late, missy!" she said laying her in bed. "You can have some tomorrow. Good night."

Alex rested nervously against the table, nibbling on a pickle.

Olivia pulled the three tests from her pockets. "Well, what do you say?"

Alex took a deep breath before taking one and walking to the bathroom.

Olivia took the small cake from the oven and placing it on the cooling rack before she followed Alex.

Alex exited the bathroom empty handed. "We have to wait 10 minutes."

Olivia wrapped her arm around her. "Let's go sit," she said, leading her back into their room and sitting on the bed.

Every time they looked at the clock, it seemed barely seconds had passed. They sat in completely silence until the ten minutes was up and Alex whispered, "Will you look?"

She walked into the bathroom. Less than a minute later, she returned. "Two lines."

Tears prickled in Alex's eyes and she looked up at her with a watery smile.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, kissing her face relentlessly and laughing. "I..love...you...Alex Benson! Should we try the others or not?"

"Tomorrow. I need to sleep. I have court early." Alex giggled her way through the sentences as Olivia continued to kiss her.

Olivia ran out and grabbed the other tests and walked back into their room. "Alex, are you sure you want to go to court?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Alex slipped under the covers.

"Because you've been so sick."

Alex pulled Olivia back onto the bed. "Well, at least now we know we can blame it on a mini Benson and not your terrible cooking."

Olivia smiled, her hands on Alex's stomach massaging gently. "After you get done, we should go to the doctor to confirm with a blood test."

Alex nodded, capturing Olivia's lips for a kiss, but even before they'd parted, she was fast asleep.

Olivia smiled, pulling her closer before falling asleep.

* * *

The next morning, in court, Olivia watched Alex closely, seeing she was having a bit of trouble. The judge asked if she was alright to continue, but she insisted, pressing on until the end. Once it was over, like her body knew to wait, she collapsed, unconscious.

"Alex!" she ran over, rolling her onto her back as Liz appeared from nowhere. "Alex," Olivia said, "Alex, come on."

Liz gestured for someone to call an ambulance and moved to Olivia's side. "Put your jacket under her head. Try and relax, Olivia." As Olivia lifted her head to put the jacket under it, Alex gave a groan.

Alex's eyelids flickered, but she didn't open them. The court slowly cleared, and the paramedics rushed in.

Olivia ran alongside, going in the ambulance with her.

* * *

When they got to the hospital, Olivia was asked to wait outside the room, and was sitting nervously outside until she heard Alex having an argument with the nurses. She stood up, listening.

"I'm fine! For god sake, I don't need to lie here, I'm fine! Where's Olivia?"

Olivia stood in the doorway. "Alex, calm down. You collapsed after court...you might be...it's safer for you to be here right now."

"I'm fine! Did you send someone to get Georgia? School finishes in 20 minutes." She stood, and was promptly sick on the floor.

Olivia pushed her back into bed. "In bed. Elliot's gone to get her and for now, she's staying with them until we find out what's wrong."

Alex let out a slow breath, her face paling a little as she nodded. She lay silently until the doctor came in a short while later.

Olivia sat with her on the bed, holding her hand and waiting anxiously.

The doctor glanced over her chart. "Well, I can confirm congratulations are in order. You're 6 weeks pregnant."

Olivia smiled, hugging her gently. "But her collapsing..."

"We'll have to do a few more tests, but it looks like she's got very low iron and high blood pressure. I'm going to prescribe a few things for her, and the nurses are going to go through a few things as well. For the next week, while the medication is getting to grips, and while you're getting over the flu, which it looks like you may have the end of, I'm going to suggest bed rest."

Alex groaned. "Great, that'll do wonders for me. I've got the biggest trial I've ever had in two days! What the hell am I going to do?"

"I'll take it over for you. You can repay me by naming your child after me," Liz said from the doorway

Alex blushed a bit, smiling. "Can it be a middle name? I'm sorry...we only suspected last night. The first couple didn't take. The doctor said it was 2 in 25 chance..."

"I guess middle name will do, as long as you let me babysit."

Alex was about to sat something, but Olivia chimed in. "Just no booze, okay? Then we're good."

Alex shot Olivia a look. "I highly doubt..."

"I know, of course you can. We trust you. Which, uh, reminds me I think daddy should know, a loose term naturally..."

Alex smiled, squeezing Olivia's hand. "Tell him to bring Georgia."

"But you'll still be here for a bit. I don't want to overwhelm you."

"Well, just tell her then, okay, Mom?"

She sighed. "Okay, do want me to leave so you can discuss the case?"

Alex nodded, bit still gazed at her with the same amazed, shining eyes she'd had the night before.

Olivia hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek before walking from the room. She dialed the home number.

Georgia answered, yelling into it, "Can I eat the cake?" There was then a quiet argument, Elliot telling her she shouldn't answer the phone, and she didn't even know it was Olivia, before he managed to get the phone from her, "Hello?'

She laughed. "Hey El, how's everything?"

"Your little chipmunk is already driving me mad. We just came over to get a few things. How's Alex?

She smiled. "She's okay, low iron, the tail-end of the flu, ordered bed-rest and...oh yeah, I was right."

"Well, congratulations, should I tell or do you want to?"

"Nah, I'll do it. And hey...? Thanks, really, you have no idea."

"I do, I've got 5 of them. Do you want me to bring her down to the hospital or are you guys coming home?"

"Not yet. Alex needs a few more tests," as she said that, a team rushed in. "I...need to go..." and she hung up. She tried to get in, but a nurse stopped her. "What's going on?"

"She's just passed out. She'll be absolutely fine." As Olivia tried to push her way in, they wheeled an unconscious Liz from the door.

She straightened up. "Alex? Are you okay?"

Alex, weak from laughing, gave a nod. "She asked how we did it. I told her. In detail."

"Am I free to go back in?" she asked, trying not to laugh too hard.

The nurse nodded, allowing her back into the room as Alex described how Liz first when bright red, then white, then passed out. "Sh-she…I told her about Elliot, and the cup, and the turkey baster. I don't think she's ever going to look at me again!"

"Alex! That wasn't nice! You could've told her about Elliot yeah, but..." she sighed. "Are you all right while I go check on her?"

"Sh-she won't be able to look at you either! I told her about...she did ask." Alex was laughing so hard no noise came out.

She patted her back. "Breathe, for God's sake, breathe! I'm still going to check." She walked over to the nurse. "Excuse me, where was the unconscious woman placed?"

"Just in the next room."

When she walked in, Liz was sitting up, sipping from a bottle of water. "Oh god. Go away, Benson."

Olivia sighed. "I see hearing the details haven't taken away the bite. I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

"Aside from the images burned into my brain. I never expected someone like Alex to go into such...detail. I'm...traumatized. Would you mind standing with your hands behind your back when you see me in the future? I don't want to think about where they've been."

Olivia sucked in a breath, putting them behind her back. "I'm sorry about that. Yeah, sh-she's something else...unpredictable. Probably part of what makes her such an excellent ADA."

"Uh-huh. Please go away."

She nodded, walking back into Alex's room.

Alex had finally calmed down, but giggled when she saw Olivia's red face. "I did tell you. I told her EVERYTHING."

"Alex, you didn't have to...you shouldn't have..."

"It was SO worth it though."

"Why?"

"Because I finally have something over her. She will look at me and remember it, just like when I look at her and remember...can you smell bacon? God, that smells good."

Olivia stepped back. "Feeling okay?"

"I could do with a bacon sandwich?"

"I don't think you can eat until you're sure they've finished you blood work.

Alex sighed and rested her head back on the pillows, looking at Olivia.

"Hmmm?"

"We're gonna have a baby."

Olivia laid beside her, pulling her close, threading her fingers through Alex's hair. "Yeah, we are, Mommy."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14, jba42 & tummer22

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	20. China Doll

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 20: China Doll**

Alex had been in hospital for a week, and was now arriving home. Olivia and Georgia had set up the bedroom for her so she would want for nothing, but she still hated having to relax. The doctor had told her she'd need to cut down on work, and Liz had now moved her onto paperwork only so if she got tired at work, she could go home. She found an unusual bond was forming with the older woman, who'd visited her every day and sat in silence until they'd began their tentative move towards friendship.

Now Olivia was guiding Alex into their apartment like she was a piece of china, and Alex was in a bad mood. She was sick of bed rest.

Olivia sighed. "I know you're tired of this, but it's for your health - and the baby's. I'm sorry I wish there was more I could do for you," she said, opening the door and helping her into their bedroom.

Alex shrugged off her hands. "I can walk by myself, you know. He said another week, then I'm going back to work, and don't try to stop me." She sat on the bed and glared at Olivia.

Olivia just smiled. "I knew you'd be going back to work. It's one of your passions, but it gets you so stressed. And stress this early on is dangerous. I want you to promise me you'll be careful and put your feet up when you're in your office."

"You know what's stressful? Lying in bed bored out of your mind! Sitting at a desk making a difference is NOT stressful!"

She held up a hand. "Okay, okay, agreed. But it's for your health. Next week, when we go in, I'll ask if there's like Yoga or something you can do. That'd get you out of the house and around others a bit. You do understand why he put you on bed rest for the week?"

"I'm not stupid! You think I'm stupid now?"

As she continued to argue with everything, Georgia stuck her head around the door and looked up at Olivia. "Still in a bad mood?"

She nodded, gesturing for her to leave them. "No, sweetie, I don't. And, yeah, it must get boring lying here all day," she sat beside her. "What can I do? All I want to do is help you. I don't mean to make you feel...helpless. I just want to make sure the two of you are okay," she sighed, "but if you don't want me to do that..."

"I just...I want..." Alex gave a sigh and rested her head back. "I want a bacon sandwich."

She smiled. "Can I get a kiss from the most beautiful woman?"

"I don't know where she is."

"But I'm looking right at her."

"Are you looking in a mirror?" Alex finally gave a small smile.

Olivia shook her head, leaning down and capturing her lips, resting her hands on her belly.

Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck, talking between kisses, "I really...really...want...a bacon...sandwich...now."

Olivia nodded, "What do you want on it?"

"Bacon. And pickles. And sauce."

She smiled. "It'll take a few minutes. I love you."

Georgia was sat at the kitchen table doing her homework, and when Olivia walked in, she looked up thoughtfully. "Olivia, where will the baby sleep? We only have 2 bedrooms."

"Well, for now, in your room. Is that okay?" she asked, grabbing some bacon and a frying pan, turning the stove on and throwing on a few strips before she put bread in the toaster.

"What about when it's older? Will I have to move out?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, we'll probably just get a new place, but we'll never kick you out, sweetie."

"And you'll love me the same?"

She nodded. "Of course we will, but you need to understand that we'll be spending a lot of time with the new baby because he or she won't be able to do anything for themselves for a while. It doesn't mean we love you any less."

She studied Olivia's face for a moment before nodding and returning to her homework.

Twenty minutes later, Olivia had two pieces of toast and six strips of bacon on a plate, carrying the pickles and sauce under her arm as she walked back, knocking on the frame.

Alex was standing in front of the mirror, standing side on holding her shirt up

Olivia walked in, setting the food on the dresser. "Hi gorgeous. What are you looking at? That drop-dead, sexy bod of yours?"

"It doesn't look any different."

"Most women don't begin to show until...about the middle of the second trimester. Some are earlier, some later," she said walking up behind her, wrapping her arms around her. "I can't wait to see it growing by the size of your belly, feel it moving..." her hands caressed her bare stomach.

"You're gonna get fat, Liam said." Georgia offered from the doorway.

"No," Olivia contradicted, "not fat. It'll be the baby growing, getting bigger inside that makes her belly stretch."

Georgia walked over, assessed Alex's stomach, then gave it a prod. "Will still look fat." She flopped down on the bed.

"But we'll know it's not, right?" Olivia asked her.

"Well, if she keeps eating giant bacon sandwiches and huge jars of pickles and-" She squirmed and laughed as Alex tickled her.

Olivia laughed, watching Alex forget her worries for the first time in days.

They all sat on the bed as Alex ate, and Georgia rested against her shoulder. "Maybe...now I think I'd like my name just to be Benson. Georgia Benson."

Olivia kissed Alex's cheek. "Are you sure?"

She gave a nod. "I want to have the same last name as my little sister. Or brother. But I hope it's a girl."

Olivia nodded. "Me too, but as long as it's healthy, I won't complain. I can't wait to see it move."

A short while later, both Georgia and Alex were asleep on the beds, resting against one another.

Olivia smiled, holding Alex closer, nuzzling her neck.

Alex began making a strange noise, whining a little, shifting about in the bed, her hand grabbing tightly to Olivia's leg.

Olivia woke, repositioning her head on her shoulder. "What is it? Wh-what's wrong?"

In her dream, Alex came back from work and no one was in the house. She called out Olivia's name, but got no response. All the furniture was gone, everything they'd brought together was gone..and suddenly she realized they'd never been together. It had all been a dream.

A pain began in her belly, and the floor began to turn red. She woke in a sweat, her mouth calling for Olivia, but no words coming out.

Olivia quickly ran to put Georgia in her bed and ran back, lying down and wrapping her arms around her. "Alex...Alex..."

Alex held tightly to her, tears falling down her face as she repeated the dream.

"Alex, it was a dream," she said, rubbing her back. "Are you still hurting?"

Alex shook her head, a hiccup escaping as she buried her face in Olivia's neck.

"Hey, hey, shh, it's okay. We're all here, safe. Everything's fine."

Alex took her breath in a gulp, but slowly managed to slow her breathing and began to calm down as Olivia rocked her gently

"That's it," she said, sitting up with her in her arms. "Everything's okay. I promise. Go back to sleep."

Alex nodded and slowly drifted back to sleep, her grip on Olivia eventually loosening as she slept.

Olivia, eventually, laid flat on her back, still rocking Alex in her arms. "That's my Lex. Just sleep."

* * *

This was a reoccurring dream for Alex over the next few weeks, so she was often tired, especially when Olivia had to work late and wasn't there to hold her.

When she went back to work, she was restless with only paperwork to do and instead filled her days calling and messaging Olivia to see if she was ok.

Finally, getting a break, the detective made her way down to the office, knocking on the open door. "Do you have a minute?"

"I have all day. I'm a glorified secretary, hadn't you heard?"

Olivia smiled, making her way in and closing the door. Walking behind her desk, she grabbed her feet and sat on the chair they rested on, placing them in her lap. "I'm okay, Alex. What's with the constants? Is something wrong?"

Alex sighed, taking her glasses off and laying them on the desk. "I'm...just bored. I don't have anything to distract me from thinking about what you do every day anymore."

"It's that nightmare, isn't it? It's why you haven't been sleeping."

Alex sighed and lowered her eyes.

Olivia took her hands, kissing them. "Maybe you should talk to Huang."

"And advertize the fact I'm losing it? No thanks."

"No, obviously, there's something there you're afraid of. You just might not realize it. You need adequate sleep, so does the baby. I'll go with you if you want."

Alex sighed again, resting her head on the back of her chair. "No, I don't want you to hear how messed up I am as well. I'll go and talk to him later. Do you have time to give me a massage before you go?"

Olivia sighed. "Alex, you're not 'messed up'. You've told me, remember? It just...I know it scares you. Maybe he'll know a way I can help. I want to help." she said as she stood up, moving to stand behind her. "Lean."

Alex leant forward and let out a happy sigh as Olivia's warm hands touched her.

Olivia's strong hands worked her shoulders and down her back, loosening the knots to relieve the pain and pressure. "I don't want you to be scared, Alex. You're stuck with me."

Alex reached up and took Olivia's hands, and pulled them down until Olivia's head rested next to her own, and she turned to kiss her gently. "I love you."

Olivia sighed, kissing her again. "Let me help you. I made a vow and I intend to keep it."

* * *

Later that day, Huang stopped beside Olivia's desk. "Alex came to see my earlier."

She leaned back in her hair. "I encouraged her to. And?"

"She's scared. Terrified, actually. That you're going to die."

Her eyes widened as she looked at him."I-is there anything I can do? I-I can't stay home 24-7."

"Reassure her. I know it seems like it's not doing anything, but I think it is. And keep her up to date on what you're doing. Now that she's not taking an active role, she doesn't know what's going on anymore. She likes getting messages and calls from you throughout the day. Aside from that...I've said I'll keep seeing her, but she needs to find other things to fill her day with now as well."

"I said the next time we saw the doctor I would ask about Yoga of some type of exercise. It'd get her out of the house a bit so she isn't so bored. And...I understand all that, but I can't message her constantly. Staying still would make me an easy target. I know she really wants to resume prosecuting and it hurts that she can't. I guess...I really don't see why. If she came in at a set time, I could bring her files...but her blood pressure is an issue." She sighed. "I just know it would make her happy..."

"Then find other things that make her happy Liv. Find things you can do as a family, or that she can do alone. Take her mind off it."

"But my hours... She should be the main focus, I know, but I need to keep working."

"You both need to make changes, Olivia. Discuss it. Together." He gave her a reassuring smile and walked away.

Olivia pulled out her phone. "Are you up for a little stroll in the building?" she text.

Indicating she'd probably just been about to text Olivia anyway, Alex's reply came within a second. "Yes."

"Be there in 15." She stood and stretched as Cragen walked into the room.

"Family of five dead and dumped in the river. Liv, Elliot, go."

Olivia sighed. "Actually..."

"What?" He looked at her, hands on hips.

She sighed again. "Captain, may I have a few minutes?"

He sighed and indicated for Fin to go with Elliot before motioning her into his office. "What is it?"

"I need to see about possibly cutting my hours. You heard about what happened to Alex in court?"

He gave a nod. "For how long?"

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"How long do you want your hours cut back for? I'm not blind, Olivia. I know she's pregnant. I was just hoping you'd tell me. I've sorted out some time off for you for when the baby is born, will you be needing fewer hours until then?"

She smiled a bit, nodding. "I know it's an inconvenience, but...with the nightmares she's been having, she needs me there as much as-" her phone beeped multiple times. She set it on his desk, but it kept going off. Sighing, she text, "With Cragen."

"My wife was exactly the same. Just..work it out between you, and I'll see what I can do. But please keep me in the loop from now on."

She nodded. "Sorry about that. We'd just found out the night before, then she was in the hospital for a week... Yeah, I will."

Her phone beeped again, "Well maybe I won't be here when you get here, maybe I'll go for a walk by myself if you're too busy!"

Olivia sighed. "I've...gotta...uh, yeah!" she raced from the room, grabbing her jacket.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, she was at her office door.

The office was empty, Alex's jacket taken from the stand beside the door.

She sighed, spotting Liz in the corridor. "Liz!" she called, keeping her hands behind her back.

Liz turned to her. "What is it, Benson?"

"Do you know where Alex would go inside the building if she was upset?"

"...There are a couple of seats on the roof, but it's freezing today..."

She sighed, knowing she wouldn't be there. She'd never risk...ah hell. "How do I get there?"

Liz pointed to a stairwell.

She nodded. "Thanks!" she raced up and out, buttoning her jacket as she made her way out into the wind.

Sitting on the seat farthest away she could only see long blonde hair whipping in the wind. She walked over. "Alex."

Alex was wrapped in a blanket, talking to a woman Olivia didn't remember seeing before, but the way Alex laughed, and sounded so at ease, made her prickle with jealousy.

"Alex?" she asked, walking closer. "Are you all right?"

The woman saw Olivia first and gave her a smile, alerting Alex to her presence, Alex turned to her, "Sorry, I've got other plans now."

She walked a bit closer. "Yeah well, as long as you're-" she sighed. "That's fine as long as you're okay. I just thought I should tell you I've cut my hours until a while after th-the uh, baby is born...for you, so you don't have to worry so much. Anyway, I'll, uh, see you at home. Have a nice chat," she said, walking away.

The other woman was the one to follow her, and she touched Olivia's arm gently, holding out a card to her. "I'm sorry if I've caused any issues. I'm a midwife. I was just having a chat with Alex about things she could do to lower her stress."

Olivia took the card. "Thank you, but please continue. She could use advice. I'm glad she has it."

"You're welcome to join us. I know, if you'd like to get back into her good books, she was just saying she'd like a hot chocolate."

She nodded. "I could actually go for some too. How about you?"

"That would be lovely."

She smiled. "Great! Then you get back to her and I'll be back."

The midwife returned to Alex who wrapped the blanket tighter around herself. "That's Olivia, in case you hadn't guessed. She apparently decided that she can spare some time for me now."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Olivia returned with a crate with three steaming cups of hot chocolate as well as two heavy blankets. She held one in front of Alex, setting the other two on the ground before wrapping a heavier blanket around her, wrapping the other around herself and sitting beside Alex to block the wind. She sighed. "I'm sorry."

Alex wrapped her hands around the cup, blowing on it for a moment before she glanced towards Olivia, then continued her conversation with the midwife who kept glancing towards Olivia. "Well ah..as I was saying, at that park near your apartment, we do yoga. Some people who have already had their kids, some are pregnant. You could bring Georgia along. Olivia could join in as well."

"That sounds great. I can make the time."

"You can make the time for someone else, then?" Alex glanced at her again.

She shook her head. "I was talking to him about cutting down my hours. He already had it Ok'd for after the baby was born. I increased it. I didn't mean to leave you out. I'd planned on talking to you about it during our walk."

"Which you didn't turn up for." Alex took a sip of her drink.

She sighed. "Because the second after I sent that, he walked out with a case...which I turned down so I could talk to him and then I rushed over here. I know you miss being in the loop, but, surely, you can't have forgotten how fast things can change?"

"You didn't put enough sugar in this." Alex handed the drink back to Olivia.

The midwife gave them a reassuring smile. "When I was pregnant with my first, I had the worst mood swings. Believe it or not, I was actually working as a cop, and suddenly I was stuck on desk duty. I hated it. I yelled at everyone who would listen. I guess because you're the only one who listens you're going to get it all, Olivia."

She sighed. "Here, try mine," she said, switching cups. "Where did you work?"

"I worked with Elliot Stabler while he was in uniform. I hear you know him pretty well."

Alex gave a groan. "Oh great. I'll leave you two to it." She stood, throwing off the blankets.

Olivia stood, wrapping an arm around her. "No Alex. I'm concerned about you. If talking to her makes you feel better..."

Alex shrugged her off. "I have work to do."

Olivia took her wrist. "Now who's the one running away, Alex? I know you're terrified by...that, but that's why I requested my hours be cut now too, so I could be with you more and help you! Isn't that what you want?"

As had happened several times over the past few days, although Olivia still wasn't used to it, tears sprung to Alex's eyes.

Olivia pulled the blanket around them both, holding her close. "I want to help you. Please let me. I love you so much."

Alex buried her head in Olivia's neck, letting her tears fall. "I'm just so tired."

"Then what do you say we go home and snuggle under the covers?"

"And watch bad TV shows?"

"Well, I was hoping to just enjoy your company, but if you want to..."

Alex smiled and kept her head nestled for a moment longer before whispering, "This one doesn't have enough sugar in it either."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	21. Cricket

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 21: Cricket**

A month later, Olivia was on her way to Alex's office. She's cut her hours from 7 to whenever to about 8 to 2 because that was when Alex was finished working. Alex was opening up to her more and, because of her changed hours, they were going to Yoga 4 days a week in the park together. Georgia would come once in a while, but most of the time she was in school.

Olivia found Alex leaning back in her chair fast asleep, papers scattered all over. Her brows were knit together and it looked like she might cry. Olivia walked over. The mood swings had progressed quickly, but she knew something was very wrong

As she got closer, she heard Alex whisper what sounded like an apology.

"What?" she whispered. "What's wrong?"

Tears finally began to fall. She was stood in front of Olivia who was holding the baby, looking at her with accusing eyes. Alex tried another apology, but Olivia seemed to move further away. Pulling back the blanket to look at the baby, she saw it was dead. A strangled cry escaped her mouth.

Olivia dropped to her knees, placing her hands on hers. "Alex, what is it?"

Alex choked back a sob, her eyes opening, and a second later her arms wrapped around Olivia's neck.

Olivia sat up straighter, holding her tight. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm okay."

"It w-wasn't you."

Olivia's hands ran up and down her back. "What happened?"

Alex shook her head, holding onto her tighter.

"Shh, okay. It's going to be okay. Do you want to sit for a second and then we can go home?"

Alex nodded, sitting back a little but still holding tightly.

Olivia pushed the hair that had been matted to her face by tears behind her ears. "Whatever it was, it's not real, okay?"

Alex jumped suddenly.

"What? Are you okay?"

Her hands flew to her stomach, taking Olivia's. "Either I have a cricket or..."

It fluttered again and again and again.

Olivia smiled. "I really don't think you swallowed a cricket."

Relief flooded Alex's face as she felt it happen again, knowing, at least, for now, it had just been a dream.

Olivia smiled, lifting her shirt a bit, but she still couldn't see anything. "Still can't see it yet, but it's there. I-it's really there!" she smiled wider, resting a hand on her bare stomach.

"I can see a difference, but then I guess I spend more time naked with myself than you do these days. Your hands are freezing."

She pulled them away, putting her shirt down. "Really? Why haven't I gotten in on that?" she asked with a smirk, caressing her cheek.

"I don't know, maybe you should try a little harder."

"Okay. What do I need to do?" She'd learned the word 'why' was an instant fight-starter, so she didn't use it much anymore.

Alex gave her a seductive smile. "If I tell you, it won't be half as much fun when you work it out. Are we going to sit here all day, or are we leaving?"

Olivia stood up and grabbed her coat for her. "I wish I knew what that meant. Shall we tell Elliot his 'sprout' is active?" she asked with a laugh.

"...It's not his, Liv. It's ours."

"Sorry...yes, you're right. _Ours_."

Alex dropped a gentle kiss to her cheek before following her from the room.

"I guess I just think of that from..."

"Well don't. Are you saying that you want Elliot to take an active parenting role? You'd like him to be known as Daddy? Because that's not he wants, and that's not what I want, so it's not his. It's _ours_, Liv."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "No, I'm sorry, okay. It is ours. Forgive me?" she asked pouting.

"I'm not angry. There's nothing to forgive, I just..It's _ours_. Just _ours_."

She smiled. "And I love that it's _ours_. And I love you even more than I thought possible," she said, kissing her cheek. "Shall we go home or do you have somewhere you'd like to go before?"

"Can we go for a walk?"

She nodded. "Where to?"

"I have somewhere I want to show you." Alex gave her another smile before stepping into the lift.

"Okay, lead the way."

* * *

They walked for about 20 minutes until Alex lead her into a large apartment block with a doorman. He nodded and said Alex's name, smiling to himself as Alex uttered mock surprise. "Look, Liv! There's an apartment viewing! What are the odds? Perhaps we should go and have a look."

She nodded, taking her arm as they went.

The apartment that was being viewed was much larger than their current one, offering 3 bedrooms, and Alex seemed to know the woman showing them around, although Olivia couldn't place her.

Olivia walked around, taking in the view from all angles. "It's nice."

"Georgia loves it. Not that...we've been here before or anything."

Olivia walked over, exploring the bedrooms with her. "The master bedroom looks big enough for two of our beds. Don't you think?"

"And it's at the other side of the apartment to the other bedrooms."

"That...sounds awesome!" she said, a glint in her eyes.

Alex smiled, repeating all the things she'd thought of that might convince Olivia to move since she'd fallen in love with the apartment a couple of weeks ago. "And Georgia's friend lives across the hall, Liam. That was his mom showing us around. She's just had another baby and it would be so nice to live near someone who could help me. And it's close to your work, and her school. And there's a park next door."

"I'll...help you when I can. You know that, right?"

"I know, Liv. But you haven't been through it before either. And they could baby sit for us sometimes, and we could babysit for them, and Liam's dad has season football tickets, so..."

She sighed. "You and football..."

Alex grinned. "It's rent controlled, and it's hardly any more than what we pay now. Liv...I really like it..."

She smiled, wiping the beginning of tears away. "You don't need to try to convince me. I like it too. Plus, the master bedroom actually fits a king-size, which I've always wanted. Georgia could get a bigger bed down the road. Big nursery. What do you want?"

"I want you not to be cross...because I already kind of said we'd take it. About 2 weeks ago."

She smiled, kissing her cheek. "I'm not. I just didn't think it would be this soon, but, in moving, I won't let you have anything huge or heavy. Deal? ...Well to move."

Alex nodded, dropping kisses all over Olivia's face, thanking her profusely, promising to do whatever she wanted her to do.

"Alex, calm down. Geez, if the baby figures out how happy you are we might have problems!" she said, hugging her tightly.

Alex momentarily forgot her dreams as she convinced Olivia to go and collect Georgia so they could begin discussing where they were going to put everything. Sitting on the wide window ledge of the main bedroom, she watched Olivia walk down the road with a smile on her face.

Olivia pointed to Georgia up to the window where Alex was sitting.

"I can't see her. I bet she's fallen asleep again." She skipped beside Olivia, pointing out Liam and his family as they arrived home.

"You can go over and say hi. We're across the hall from them. I'll go check on Alex," she said walking in and into the apartment. "Alex?"

There was no reply.

She wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, or the smaller bedrooms. She walked into the master room, finding her sitting under the window, her legs held to her chest. She walked over slowly. "Alex?"

Alex jumped, turning her head.

"Is something wrong? What do you need?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. I'm sick of being asked that. Where's Georgia?" She wiped her face.

"She's visiting Liam. I'm sorry I get so worried about you." She walked out to the living room.

Alex rubbed her face again, and didn't leave her spot by the window until Georgia had returned and began to tell Olivia where she thought things should go. Walking out, Alex slid her arm through Olivia's and rested her head on her shoulder.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "I think I just love you too much. That's why I always ask. Why I get so worried."

"How about…I just try to tell you when I need something? I get asked by so many people, I just…would like at least one person who doesn't."

Georgia leant back on Alex and smiled up at Olivia. "If we have a house warming, will I get presents?"

Olivia nodded to Alex, kissing her temple, then looked to Georgia. "I don't know. I think if anyone gets anything specific, it'll be," she pointed to Alex.

Georgia looked up at Alex. "But you'll get me something, right? Like that pink bookcase at the shop near school."

Alex rolled her eyes.

"It's bright pink and covered in pictures of lollies. It's been there all year because no one else wants it."

"We've already talked about this..."

"But I will need a new one now that we're moving!"

"She has a point. The one in her room is too heavy to move. We'll think about it, okay? No promises."

"Oh god. You'll regret saying that when you see it. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. It's like Technicolor vomit painted on MDF."

"Wow...sounds pretty painful."

"Maybe we should just go all out and paint your room rainbow." She said sarcastically, but the grin that formed on Georgia's face made her groan. "On that note, perhaps we should go home."

Olivia linked her arm. "Agreed. Alex and I will look around for a bookcase for you okay?"

Georgia gave a sigh, but took both their hands and talked all the way home, as usual.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	22. Moving and Bars

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 22: Moving and Bars**

Alex found she really enjoyed moving. She sat in a recliner Olivia had brought her, complete with cup holder, and ordered everyone about. When they'd finally packed everything and were ready to move, the chair was the first thing into the apartment and Alex sat in it, directing everyone once more.

On school holidays, Georgia spent her days running from their apartment to Liam's, the only other one of the floor, or sitting on Alex's knee, talking crossly to the moving men for them to be gentle with her things.

When Olivia came home from work for their first night in the new place, she found it still full of packed boxes, as Alex had promised, and the two girls of her life sitting on the floor eating pizza. As Alex had begun to show, Georgia got furiously cross of anyone who dared call her fat and was now drawing a smiley face on her stomach with texta as Alex bit into a large slice of pepperoni.

"So, what do you want? Boy, girl?" Olivia asked moving to sit behind her.

"Doesn't matter. Hey, aren't you going to draw a nose?" She threw the pen back to Georgia.

"I know, but what are you hoping for? It's not going to matter in the end, but…"

Georgia drew a nose on Alex's stomach, then drew little legs and arms. "Well, I want a sister. I like being just girls. I think I'm really lucky to have two Mummies."

Olivia ran a hand through her long blonde locks. "Yeah, that is nice, but I think a little boy would even us out."

"As long as he's not smelly. How do I draw boy bits?" Alex pulled the pen quickly from her hand and pulled down her top. "How about we leave it there?"

"Yeah, you should probably have a bath and get ready for bed anyway, We've unpacked enough clothes for the week and got the beds put up," Olivia said.

She nodded and stood up, wiping her greasy hands on her top and making Alex groan. "I'll go and have a bath, and you can make hot chocolate, and then Alex can read the story."

"Okay." She walked away. "Hey Alex?"

"Mmm?" Alex considered the pizza box, then took the last piece, biting into it.

"Are you happy now?"

She looked up at her. "...I've always been happy."

"I just...wondered if I needed to do anything differently. I'm trying my best to keep you happy."

"You don't need to try, Liv. You make me happy just being here. I know sometimes I get cross but it's just...dreams."

Olivia's hands moved to her back, massaging gently. "Like what?"

Alex rested against her. She was reluctant to repeat her most current reoccurring dream, but as Olivia's hands relaxed her, as she listened to the gentle rain outside, it didn't seem to be so scary anymore. She told her quietly.

Olivia stopped, wrapping her arms around her belly protectively. "I'm not going to let that happen, Lex. I love you. If-if it did, I'm positive it wouldn't be your fault. We love this baby...we love Georgia. I'd love you anyway."

"But it's easy to say that now. If it were to happen, you don't know how you'd feel." As if knowing it was being spoken about, the baby gave a kick.

"I know I'd never leave you. I wouldn't let that...accident tear us apart, ever. We'd come back stronger," she smiled, feeling a kick. "Even the baby knows I love you more than my own life."

Alex sighed, Olivia's words not offering the comfort she thought they might. The baby gave another kick, harder, and Alex gave a groan. "I need to go to the toilet. Help me up?"

Olivia stood, pulling her up. "Everything will be okay. You'll see."

Alex gave a smile full of happiness she didn't feel and walked towards their onsuite. "Extra milk in my hot chocolate, Benson."

She smiled, knowing Alex was still really uneasy, but wouldn't press more right now. "As you wish." She walked into the kitchen, putting a pot on the stove and heating a bit of milk.

By the time she was pouring it into three mugs, someone's arms wrapped around her, and she felt a kick to her lower back. "Hey! Who's kicking me?" she turned around, but saw Alex on the very near verge of tears. She wrapped her arms around her, swaying gently. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I ate too much pizza and now he has hiccups and my back hurts," Alex spoke with a wail.

"Okay, okay, sshhh, shh. It's gonna be okay." Her hands went under the back of her shirt, rubbing lightly as they continued to move. "It's okay. Is this any better?"

"I'm so used to knowing what's going on and how to deal with things and now I don't even know how to deal with my own emotions and I just...want some ice cream!" She continued to wail.

Olivia pulled Alex with her, pulling down a bowl and grabbing a spoon before dishing her a bit of ice cream. "More?"

Alex shook her head, taking instead the ice cream container from Olivia.

She snickered, continuing to rub her back. "Do you just want to eat from the container? Ice cream with your hot chocolate?"

By the time Georgia walked from her bedroom, drying her hair, Alex was in her recliner, eating from a huge bowl of ice cream with hot chocolate poured on top. She rolled her eyes at Olivia. "Women."

Olivia nodded, but said nothing.

* * *

That night, with no TV set up, Alex's current way to try and distract Olivia from discussing anything, they lay in bed in silence.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, beginning to kiss her neck and the hot spots she could reach from the position she was in, hoping Alex wouldn't push her away, but if she did it was okay too.

Alex didn't move, but just as Olivia was thinking perhaps she was already asleep, Alex gave a soft moan.

Olivia pulled her closer. "Was that instinctive or...I need some input here."

"..Why now? You haven't...in a while."

"I know how stressed and upset you've been... I didn't want to make it worse by you accidentally assuming I only wanted your body. I'm sorry. You...could've said something."

Alex gave a soft laugh. "I wouldn't have minded thinking you only wanted me for my body. In fact, I would have kind of liked it. It's changing so much, I thought maybe..."

Olivia's hands moved under Alex's shirt, caressing her breasts before pulling her close. "No, baby, no. I think you're even more beautiful now," she said, kissing her deeply, "don't ever think I don't find you sexy as hell. It's just not true..."

* * *

When Olivia woke the next morning, she realized that for the first time in several weeks she hadn't been woken by Alex's cries during the night. Looking down at her, Alex looked so peaceful, a small smile on her face as she slept, one hand resting on her belly over the blankets, the other above her head.

Olivia leaned over and kissed her cheek, resting her hand on top.

Alex gave a sigh and mumbled something about football.

Olivia snuggled into her, relishing the warmth as the events from last night played through her mind. She wasn't exactly sure why, but she found Alex even hotter now. "Alex," she repeated over and over in between kissing her.

Alex slowly began to respond, her hand moving down to tangle in Olivia's hair. "Good Morning."

Olivia smiled, moaning at their colliding skin. "Morning and how are two of my favorite people?" she said, rubbing Alex's bare belly.

"I had the best sleep ever." Her hand snaked down to caress Olivia's backside.

She moaned a bit. "Really? Any reason why?"

"Could have been the marathon sex session we had."

"Ah, well, that explains my soreness this morning. You really are even hotter now, not that you weren't before and always will be..."

Alex giggled, kissing Olivia and pulling her closer. "Are you working today?"

"Well, my phone didn't go off during the night or early this morning. Why? Got something planned?"

"Mhm." She kissed her deeply once more, then whispered in a seductive tone, "I need you to unpack my books."

She groaned. "Oh...I thought it was something fun...like doing what we did last night again and again and…" her words were lost in the smoothness of Alex's shoulder.

"I think I need to recover first…and watch you carry something heavy with those arms." Alex caressed them.

"Will you wear that really low-cut top while I do?"

"I think most tops look low cut these days, haven't you noticed?" Alex slid the top sheet down to her middle.

She smiled, running her hand across. "Careful, I may not be able to stop myself from ravishing them again and your nipples still look a bit sore."

"You could try kissing them better?" Alex spoke softly, her thoughts of breakfast forgotten.

Olivia looked to the door, remembering they'd locked it, before leaning over and kissing them gently, while rubbing her belly.

She was suddenly pushed off, and Alex blushed brightly, pulling the sheet over herself again.

She sighed. "Awww! What? I think you're beautiful?"

"No, it..I..." Still bushing, she removed her crossed arms from her chest, showing the wet patches on the sheet above her nipples.

"Oh," she said, taking her hands, "the doctor said that was normal. You'll need to wear those bras with the...padding I think she said it was? They'll soak it up. It's okay. You don't have to be so embarrassed about it. I promise it's okay. I... uh, kinda had a little last night anyway. It uh, must happen when you go through an intense intimate moment."

Alex gave a groan, covering her face, a soft, embarrassed laugh emitting.

Olivia pulled her hands away, kissing her gently. "You're so cute when you blush."

Alex giggled again, hiding her face in Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "Aww, there's my girl. I love you."

* * *

By the time Georgia awoke, Alex was fast asleep again, a smile still on her face, and Olivia was banging around in the bathroom, trying to find some makeup or something to hide the love bites that now appeared all over her neck.

Olivia covered her neck until it was nearly flawless. Dressed in jeans and a tank, she walked out, making Georgia breakfast.

Georgia kept looking suspiciously at her, but didn't speak until Alex walked in. "You two look...funny."

Olivia looked up at her from the paper. "How?"

"You're wearing makeup and Alex's top is wet."

"I always wear makeup and...uh, I think Alex forgot to dry off after a shower," she pulled Alex off to the side. "You need it. Didn't you get one?"

"One what?" Alex's hand squeezed her bum.

"A bra for...that."

"It's packed. You told me not to unpack anything. And this, Olivia, is from the shower. I think." She glanced down her top.

"Good... What would you like for breakfast?"

"Pancakes and bagels and fresh juice." She saw worry cloud Olivia's face as she tried to think how she'd make them. A smile lit her face and she dropped a kiss to her cheek. "But toast will do. I'll make it if you go and find my bra."

She smiled, kissing her cheek. "Sure." She walked back to their room, unpacking four boxes before finding four of them. She hid one behind her back, walking out. "You have four."

"Four what?" Both Alex and Georgia asked mouths full of toast.

"Alex has four...particular pieces of clothing she needs."

"Oh, bars? She told me about them. I'm never going to wear bars. They sound uncomfortable."

Olivia cocked a brow. "Bars?"

"Bars. The special tops you put…those into." She pointed to Alex's chest as Alex choked on her toast, laughing.

Olivia laughed, patting her on the back a bit, sliding one into her lap.

Alex slipped from the room to put it on, and when she returned, as promised, she was wearing her low-cut red top.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent unpacking, but Olivia found she couldn't get much done, her eyes continuously drifting to Alex who spent most of the day reading.

"Book any good?"

"Mhm." She glanced up.

Olivia stretched purposely to give Alex a good view of her arms. "What's it about?"

"Ah...umm...I think...some guy died...and there's a book that people want...and...stuff."

Olivia walked over. "...And stuff huh? Sounds interesting," she said, laying her arms over the sides of the chair.

Alex squirmed in her seat as she watched. "It's...good. I think I had the right sort of moisture coming from the right place right now."

"Well, what do you feel like doing about it?"

"I don't know. I feel like a good...hard-" She stood and sank back into her seat as Georgia walked into the room. "Can you help me move my bed, Olivia?"

"Yes, I can. Hey, do you want to go play with Liam?" she asked Georgia.

"He's not at home today. He's gone to his grandma's."

Olivia sighed, sitting beside her on the couch. "Then...hey, uh, remember a while ago when you said you thought you heard someone scream and then you wondered if Alex was okay?"

She gave a nod. "Just after I moved in with you."

"No one was hurt. Sometimes, we just...need a bit of time alone to be with each other. And...sometimes weird noises happen, but it doesn't mean anybody's hurt or that anything's wrong. We love you so much, but we love each other a lot too and we need to show each other that in...a very private way that only we want to see. Does that make sense? A little bit?"

She gave a slow nod. "Like...sometimes when you kiss, but different to how you kiss me?"

She smiled. "Exactly."

"But...where can I go when you want alone time? Just to my room?"

"No, you could stay out here. Alex and I will be in our room. We just want you to know that no one gets hurt, but we...we sometimes get...kinda...loud," she said with a creeping blush.

"..Alex won't be loud. She's asleep."

Olivia shot Alex a look, who was now hidden behind her book although her face was red. "...Sometimes she's asleep. Then I have to wake her up," she said laughing a bit.

"..Well ok. But call out my name if you miss me."

Olivia had to bury her face in the couch so her blush wouldn't show as she laughed.

When they finally made it to the bedroom and had stopped their laughter, Alex lay back, breathless. "Oh god. I'm exhausted now."

Olivia closed and locked the door. "Aww! And here I made that big speech so we wouldn't be interrupted," she sighed, sliding under the covers.

"So I guess you don't want that good, hard—"

"You can still do anything you want, just as long as I can just lie here."

She sighed. "Nope. It's not too much fun without you. I'll unpack your books if you want," she said, sliding out from under the covers and cutting into a heavy box, lifting three heavy law books at a time and walking over to put them on the shelf beside Alex.

As she made her third trip, she heard a quiet moan from the bed and saw Alex watching her bum.

Olivia stopped, arms full, turned with her back toward her and wiggled a bit, resuming her walk.

Alex reached out a hand, caressing it with her delicate fingers, pulling her closer with the belt loops of her jeans.

Olivia set the books on top, then focused on her. "Yes? What can I do for you?"

"You know...you might get a little hot doing that in jeans. You could always go down to your underwear. I wouldn't mind."

"Only if you help me get rid of them," she said with a smile.

She sat up a little, unzipping Olivia's jeans and letting them drop to the floor.

Olivia stepped out of them. "Feels better."

"I feel a little overdressed now." Alex slid out of her track pants as Olivia slid her t-shirt over her head.

Olivia climbed back up onto the bed, her thighs brushing Alex's. "What about your shirt?"

"Did I say you should stop filling the bookshelves, Benson?"

"Oh, sorry!" She slid off the bed, cutting open two more boxes and carrying two in each arm, arranging them.

Alex slid her shirt over her head.

Olivia winked at her as she made another trip, pretending to strain so Alex would see the muscles in her arms as she made her way over to the bookshelf.

As she passed, Alex reached out and in one quick movement undid the clasp of Olivia's bra. "Oops."

Olivia let it drop to the floor. smiling. "What?" she asked as she grabbed five more.

Alex rested on her knees and watched Olivia for a couple more trips, but suddenly when Olivia looked towards her, she found the blonde fast asleep in her underwear, still sitting up.

Olivia smiled, placing the last of the books on the shelf before lying down and pulling Alex into her arms, kissing her cheek.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14, jba42 & tummer22

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	23. Chances

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 23: Chances**

Olivia woke hours later to the warm glow of the sunset, still holding a relaxed Alex in her grasp who, from the noises she was making, was having a very good dream, but she hated to wake her, so she pulled the covers over them, content in just watching her sleep.

Outside in the lounge, she could hear Georgia playing her music, singing along quietly to herself.

Olivia checked her phone, noticing it was almost 7. Gently, she laid Alex in bed and threw on a robe before walking out. "Hey kid. What do you want to eat?"

"You've been gone ages! People have been looking for you!"

"Who?"

"Well, Uncle Elliot came. I said you were in bed with Alex. He made a face, wrote you a note and took me to the park. Then a funny looking guy came and said he wanted to talk to Detective Benson, and I told him the same thing. He kicked the door. I told him to go next door and talk to Liam's mom."

She sighed. "I'll be right back." She walked back into the room, throwing on a tank and jeans and then walked back out. "I'll go see what she has to say. If Alex starts crying, will you come and get me?"

She gave a nod and watched as Olivia rushed out of the room. She knocked on the door. "Jessica!"

She opened the door a few moments later, baby on her hip.

"Hi, Georgia said someone came looking for me?"

"Ah yeah. Didn't say his name, but he said he was your brother?"

She looked a bit shocked. "Simon? Did he leave a number or a note?"

"No, he just said he'd be back later."

"H-how long ago was this? I'm...sorry. He doesn't stop by often."

"A couple of hours, I think. Alex didn't mention you had a brother?"

"May I?" she gestured to inside.

"Sure. Everyone else is out." Jessica stepped aside to let her in.

She stepped inside. "Thank you. Alex doesn't know. We have different mothers. God, I don't usually tell people, but... I'm...well, the 'fruit', if you will, of my mother's rape. I-I never knew my father and didn't even know I had a brother until a few years ago. He's...a good guy, just had some problems."

The smile on Jessica's face shocked Olivia until she explained, "Well, I guess it kind of makes sense why Alex kept trying to push me into being friends with you. I am..ah..well...of similar parentage. My mother is also my sister. My husband and Alex know, a few other friends...I'm ok with it now."

"It's actually why I work where I do. I figure if I can help people, maybe I'll feel better, but it's never going to be that way. I learned that a long time ago."

Jessica gave a nod, "I work with children who-" She made a face as her daughter was sick on her. "On that note, I think I need to get this one to bed."

"Yeah, I'd better get back over too. Thanks. Hey, if ever want to talk again let me know?"

She gave a nod. "And..if he does come back tonight, and you don't want to explain to Alex just yet, feel free to send her over, neighbor."

She nodded. "Thanks, but I think I'd better explain now before it causes problems," she said, leaving and going back over. She walked into their bedroom, sitting beside Alex. "Alex."

She looked up from the book she was reading with Georgia. "She told me about our visitors."

She nodded. "Yeah, I need to talk to you about that. Alone."

Alex stared at her for a moment before looking down at Georgia. "How about you go and put on some warmer clothes and shoes and we'll go out to dinner, hey?" As she gave a nod and scrambled from the room, Alex returned her gaze to Olivia. "...What is it?"

"The other guy who was here...his name is Simon Marsden, my half-brother..."

"...You're joking, right? You would have told me before if you'd had a brother."

She shook her head. "No Alex, I-I'm not joking..."

"...You didn't think it was one of those things you could have told me...gee...I dunno...in one of the last 8 years I've known you?"

She sighed. "I know, I know. I didn't even know he existed until a few years ago. He...was thought to be a rapist until I helped clear his name. He's...a good guy, just problems. I should've told you, I know. I'm sorry. It's just... it's hard for me to admit."

"Oh great, yeah, let's bring a rapist into the house! Why not!" Alex stood pulling on a jumper over her singlet and looking around for some jeans.

"Alex, he's not a rapist! He was set up! It's hard for me to admit that the man who raped my mother fathered another child, actually cared! He knew him. Sure, I—after what I learned I didn't want to know him, but he actually cared a-and left me out to dry! Alex, he kept pictures of me, my school picture! I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but do you know how much it hurts to think he cared for him and not me, not even a little?"

Alex let out a slow breath before looking at her. "..What does he want?"

"I...I don't know. He'll be back. I trust him. He's...he wouldn't hurt anybody. I-if I thought that, I wouldn't have helped him. I need you to trust me on this."

Alex reached out and touched her cheek gently. "..Just...don't let him upset you, ok?"

"I won't. It's not him I have issues with. If you and Georgia want to go across the hall while he's here...it's okay, but I would like you to meet him."

"I'm glad you never met your father, because everyone who knew him seems to be messed up, but you...you're still perfect. I'll send Georgia across, but I'll stay. Do you mind finding me some pants while I go to the toilet? Your son is lying on my bladder."

She smiled, gesturing for her to go as she pulled a clean pair of pants from a drawer, waiting.

She heard Alex make a noise of relief and Georgia gave a giggle as she came back in the room. "Olivia...I wasn't listening in...but..."

She turned, sighing. "Yes you were. What's your question?"

"...I just wanted to tell you that I don't think your real family matters. I think the family you make up is the most important. My real parents didn't like me, but you and Alex do, and I like you, and that's lots better than living with people that don't like each other. So don't be sad if your real family wasn't nice, because now you have me and Alex."

"Yeah, that's true."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Alex and Georgia had gone out with a list of things to buy and strict instructions to call Olivia to bring them up the stairs once they got home. She was unpacking in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. "Alex! I told you to ca-"

She stopped when she saw Simon in the doorway. "..Hi, sis."

Her breath momentarily stopped. "Simon."

"...So, where's the kid that was here earlier?"

"She's...picking up dinner with Alex. Uh, come in," she stepped aside to let him in, texting Alex before closing the door.

"Alex?" He walked past her.

"My wife. Please sit."

He sat down. "Oh. The pregnant one?"

"I...there's only one...h-how do you—"

"I umm...I followed you from the precinct a few days ago."

She rubbed her eyes. "Why? Stalking me now? I-I'm sorry," she said after a few minutes. "I just hardly ever see you."

His eyes opened wide, then he lowered them to look at the floor. "Well, I didn't exactly know if I would be welcome. It's not like I was the only one who could make a move. You had my number."

"I...lost it some time ago and I've been busy with work and Alex and Georgia in school. I'm sorry. What's going on?"

He was about to reply when a breathless Alex came into the apartment. She shut the door behind her, her eyes trained on Simon.

Olivia stood, walking over. "Alex, remember your promise. Simon, this is Alex."

"You were watching Georgia and me at the park yesterday."

"You were? Why?" Olivia asked.

He lowered his eyes again. "I'd seen you with Olivia. I thought you might have known who I was. From pictures or something."

"So you were having around a playground?"

Olivia sat her in her chair, sitting on the armrest between the two. "That is a good question, Alex, but I highly doubt he meant any harm. Why are you here? Alex, let him speak."

Alex sat with her arms folded, the slightly raised brow above her glasses the kind of thing that made criminals squirm when she walked into the interrogation room.

He kept his eyes glued to the floor. "..I haven't got anywhere to stay. I thought, maybe..."

"Are you working anywhere? You're hardly ever in the city."

"I've got a job now, down on a construction site a few blocks from here."

She looked to Alex, who still stared him down, before looking back to him. "Are you looking for a place? Will you look if we let you stay here for a bit?"

Alex's face was storming, but she still didn't speak.

He finally lifted his head to look at Olivia, nodding his head earnestly. "I just need time to find somewhere and earn a lease deposit."

"Would you excuse us for a few minutes? There's a cold drink in the fridge if you'd like one," she said, pulling Alex up from the chair and walking back to the bedroom, closing the door. "Before you say anything, Alex, he's the only blood I have. I-I can prove he was set up. It's in the files. I can't turn my back on him."

Alex pulled her arms away from her. "Fine, whatever. You've already made up your mind. Why bother asking me? I'm going out to bring the groceries in." She walked out.

"Would you like some help?"

She just slammed the door on her way out.

Olivia sighed. "Simon, you're welcome to stay. Don't worry about her. She's...it never came up, so I didn't say anything until now. It's on me, not you. Would you like to meet the girl?"

He gave a nod, grabbing something from the bag he'd brought in with him. "Just a doll I got. Wasn't sure if she'd be in to them, but-"

"Nah, she'll love it. Come with me." She said as they went across the hall, knocking on the door.

Jessica answered, Georgia looking shyly around her legs.

They walked in, Olivia taking Georgia by the hand. "Georgia, this is Simon, my brother. Can you say hi to him?"

She looked up at him, then past him for Alex before hiding behind Olivia's legs.

"Come on, at least say hi. Look, he brought a friend for your bears."

She considered it before saying, "Hi." She didn't take the doll, but instead ran after Alex who walked towards their apartment with bags of groceries.

She looked at him, patting his shoulder. "Don't worry. She's...shy around new people. Don't take it too hard. Come on. Thank you Jessica," she said before they walked back over.

Alex put the groceries on the kitchen floor, stroking Georgia's hair. "How about you go sit in my chair while I make dinner, hey?"

Olivia closed the door as Georgia sat in her chair. "I'm...gonna try to figure this out. Georgia, why don't you see if your bears would like a new friend? You don't have to, but..." She walked into the kitchen where Alex was putting some of the food into the cupboards. "You want to talk about it? Let's talk. I never meant for it to be one-sided."

"Really? Could have fooled me. I wouldn't be surprised if you'd had it planned for weeks."

Olivia stood behind her. "I'm sorry, I am, but he's family. What did you expect me to do?"

"People can live with their families for years and know nothing about him, yet you're ok with letting him live with me, your daughter...your unborn child? Thanks for showing me how much you love me, Liv." Alex pushed past her to unpack the bags

Olivia didn't quit. "I know you're worried and scared. It's understandable. But he just wants to be closer to me. I'm the only family he has, Alex. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to worry you, but its unavoidable it seems. Just...give him the week, a chance to get on his feet. What's stopping you from doing that?"

"Nothing. I don't even have a choice, so why are you even talking to me about it?" She slammed a pan on the stove.

"You could've jumped in with questions instead of a searing glare!"

"I'm sorry I want to look after my family. I didn't realize that was a fault I had."

"It's not a fault, Alex. You're perfect, but let me look after you three. You're strong, sensitive and caring. Those aren't faults. You just have them around him because you've never met him, which, again, is my fault. Don't take it out on him. Be angry at me, hate my guts. Hell, I'll sleep alone for a few nights if you'd prefer, but give him a chance."

"Oh and where were you planning to sleep anyway? Where is he planning to sleep? No doubt you were thinking of putting him in with Georgia since you trust him so much. You know what? I'm not so hungry anymore. You make it if you're hungry." She walked from the room.

Olivia sighed, starting dinner, a few minutes later, someone walked in and sighed, but she knew it wasn't Alex or Georgia. "You head, didn't you?"

"I'd offer to go...but I've been sleeping on a park bench…the boss has commented on my clothes being unwashed..."

She sighed again. "Well, I guess we'll both have to put up with her being extra moody. If you need to wash clothes, there's an area down the hall. A dollar to wash, 75 cents to dry. But, as long as we're on the subject, you don't have the best track record. I trust you because I know the real you. I stuck my neck out. Don't make me regret it."

"I won't. I promise."

* * *

That evening, he made an effort to talk to Alex and Georgia. Alex replied tersely and Georgia always looked towards Alex or Olivia before she answered, unsure what was going on

Olivia tried to make conversation, but it wasn't going the greatest. "How's school going, Georgia?"

She looked at everyone before she reminded her, "I'm on holidays."

"I know, but before that."

"..I gave you my report card."

"And I saw you got all good grades, extra for Spelling."

She looked at Simon for a moment before offering, "S-I-M-O-N."

Alex pushed the remainder of her food away, which was most of the dish. "I'm going for a bath."

Olivia nodded, "I'll wrap it up and put it on the fridge. Now, who wants ice cream?"

Alex walked into the bathroom, hesitated by the door before locking it.

Ten minutes later, Olivia cleared the table, wrapping up Alex's food and storing it in the fridge, walking back out. "Okay, Georgia, get ready for bed."

"My toothbrush is in your bathroom still."

Olivia sighed. "I'll go grab it, as well as a pillow and blanket. You'll be fine on the couch, right Simon?"

"Will be like a bed of clouds compared to where I've been sleeping."

She walked back into their room, digging in the closet for a pillow and blanket before walking over and knocking on their bathroom door. "Alex?"

Alex, head under water, gave no reply.

She pounded on the door. "Alex!"

Alex finally stuck her head out, taking a deep breath. "What?"

"Georgia needs her toothbrush and toothpaste!"

Alex sighed and stayed still for a moment before stepping from the bath. Wrapping a towel around herself, she unlocked the door and stepped aside.

Olivia walked in, grabbing the items barely any volume to her voice as she spoke, "I'll be in your chair," and walked out, grabbing an extra pillow and blanket.

Alex dried herself off and got dressed in pajamas, more than she usually wore to bed, before slipping into bed.

Olivia gave a sad smile. "Alex..."

"What?" She fluffed her pillows before turning onto her side.

"I...never mind. You'll never believe me anyway..."

"Well, I won't if you don't tell me, will I?" she spoke tersely, grabbing a pillow from the floor and pushing it under the covers to rest her knees on.

Olivia walked over, setting the items on the floor. The tears that fell were illuminated by the lamp light. "I love you and...can I give the baby a kiss?"

Alex gave a nod, her eyes closing.

Olivia folded the blankets down, kissing her growing belly before hesitating and dropping a kiss to Alex's cheek, not knowing she'd left a teardrop when she'd pulled away to turn off the light, grab the bedding and Georgia's items and leaving the room before closing the door.

As she was giving the one of the blankets to Simon, her phone gave a beep. Balancing the items, she pulled it from her pocket.

"You know we can't sleep without you and your backrubs."

She sighed. "Kinda thought you didn't want me there after this fiasco," she texted, stuffing it back in her pocket before handing the items to him, looking down to hand Georgia her items. "I hope these will work," she told him.

He took them. "Perfect. You…have no idea how much this means to me Olivia. I want to get my kids back. They said maybe one day there might even be a chance if I stick with this job. One day our kids might even be able to play together."

Her phone beeped once more, displaying the message- "I want you where I can look after you."

She smiled. "That's great! Keep me up-to-date, okay?" She gave him both sets. "Good night."

When she walked in, the room was still dark. Alex still curled on her side.

Olivia shed her clothes after locking the door and slid into bed, wrapping her arms around her, laying her head on her shoulder. "Alex."

Alex jumped, then spoke grumpily, "I thought you said you were sleeping out there."

"I can't let you have those nightmares from pain just because of...this."

"I'm f-"

"She's not. She's not fine. She said her back is sore, and she said she has a sore tummy!" Georgia burst from the closet.

Olivia rolled over, turning on her light. "What are you doing? You need to be in bed."

She put Alex's mobile guiltily on the bed. "I'm too scared to sleep by myself."

Olivia got up, making a bed on the floor for her then sat back in bed. "He really is a good guy. Just try to get along with him, please you two! Just this week."

Alex gave a sigh, rubbing her belly and willing away the nausea that had plagued her since Olivia had brought up her brother. "Can we please just go to sleep?"

Olivia nodded, turning off the light and rubbing her back. "It's going to be okay, Lex. I'm here."

* * *

Alex had uneasy dreams that night, but this time woke without waking Olivia. Forgetting, momentarily that they had a visitor, she walked to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Simon sat up, walking into the kitchen. "Do you need any help?"

She jumped, backing up against the wall.

He sighed. "Look, I was just trying to be friendly. I'm not trying to scare or intimidate you. I've got two kids. My ex-fiancée went through all this."

Alex folded her arms. "I also know that every time you show up it's because you want something. I'm glad Olivia seems to have faith that you're a nice guy, but you'll have to prove it to me before I ever tru...oh." Her head lowered as her stomach cramped.

Instinctively, he caught her before she fell. "Where's a trash can?"

"No, it's not. It's…oh god." It was exactly how her dream started. She knew if she put her hand down, it would come away covered in blood.

He picked her up, sitting her in a chair, running down the hall, he turned on the light. "Olivia! Something's wrong!"

She sat bolt upright, bolting from bed, glad Georgia was still asleep as she turned the light off and closed the door. "What happened?"

"We were, I just...she's..." They walked out just as Alex was sick on the floor.

Olivia sighed. "Would you mind grabbing a few towels from the bathroom?" she asked as she walked over, placing her hand over Alex's. "Alex?"

She just gave a relieved laugh, tears falling down her face

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I thought it was going to be my dream. I thought it was all going to end. But it's just your terrible cooking again."

"End? Wh- oh no! Lex! That's not going to happen. I won't let it," she said, hugging her tightly.

The force of Olivia's hug made her sick again just as Simon walked in. "…Should I call an ambulance? A doctor?"

Olivia pulled away, pulling out her phone she handed it to Simon. "Maybe just Melinda. Tell her I'm sorry it's so late, but Alex needs to be looked at. She's no OBGYN, but..."

Melinda arrived a short time later, a bag in her hand and a long, slinky dress on. "You didn't tell me you'd moved."

"Sorry, thought you got the memo. And sorry for taking you away from...wherever you were. Great dress!"

"Thanks. She better not be sick on it. Where's the patient? And who's the dishy guy over there that you haven't introduced me to?

"Simon Marsden, my half-brother who's staying with us for a week. Alex is through here," she said, leading her in as Simon continued to clean up the mess. Alex looked a bit pale, but seemed paler when they walked in. Olivia pulled two chairs over.

Melinda checked her over slowly, "I've brought a little something from my friend that I thought you'd appreciate. You owe me." She pulled out a mini ultrasound machine, handing Olivia the gel to squirt on before squeezing Alex's hand. "Simon said you seemed worried about the baby. I'm pretty sure this is just morning sickness, combined with stress, but we'll have a look at the little guy anyway."

Olivia lifted Alex's shirt, rubbing the gel on her belly, feeling Alex jump at the coldness of it. She wiped her hands on the towel Simon offered before wrapping them back around Alex.

Melinda moved the wand around until suddenly they saw the heart, beating strongly.

Olivia's eyes widened. "I don't suppose you have stethoscope on you?"

Melinda handed her one, holding it in place for her, then pointing out a tiny clenched fist.

Olivia smiled. "Strong kid. Already fighting. Is she far enough along to tell what it is yet?" She looked to Alex. "Do you want to know?"

Alex shook her head, then nodded, then shook her head.

"Well, you'll have time to decide because I've only ever done this a handful of times and I get it wrong every time. He looks completely fine. Heartbeat is perfect. But go to your doctor tomorrow just to make sure."

"I'll make sure she does," Olivia said. "Alex, another nightmare?"

She glanced towards Simon and then Georgia who had managed to sleep through it all. "Mm. Thanks, Melinda. Love the dress. But you better move because I think I'm going to be sick again."

Simon placed the trash can in front of her as Melinda wiped the wand and put everything away.

Olivia kept her hands on Alex's shoulders, massaging gently. "Thanks Melinda. We really do owe you."

Simon showed her out, letting her linger as he enjoyed her flirting.

Alex drifted in and out of sleep, tensing every time she woke.

Olivia kissed her cheek. "We should get to bed. Everything's okay now."

Alex allowed her to lead her to bedroom, falling asleep once more as soon as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14, jba42 & tummer22

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	24. Holding Her Tongue

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 24: Holding Her Tongue**

Several days later, Georgia had relaxed around Simon, even allowing him to play with her toys and walk her to school, but he often got home before Olivia, leaving him and Alex together, not talking. Despite his help, Alex how had him in her mind completely associated with her nightmare, and every time her came near her, she'd take a step back.

When Olivia reached home one afternoon, she heard raised voices.

Olivia closed the door, seeing them fighting. She walked in to check on Georgia. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

She had her hands over her ears and tears falling down her face. "They sound like my mom and dad. I want to go somewhere else!"

She picked her up, going in and burying her in their bed under the covers. "I'll come get you. It'll be okay." She walked out shutting the door. "What's going on?"

"I found her going through my phone!"

"Why the hell would I be interested in going through your phone?! We have exactly the same one! If you didn't treat MY house like a hotel and leave your things EVERYWHERE I wouldn't have thought it was mine and picked it up!"

Olivia put her hands up. "Alex, take a breath. Get a glass of water." She turned to Simon. "What happened? Then Alex can tell her side."

"Oh, so he gets to tell his side first and I just get cast aside?"

"Well why shouldn't I get to tell my side first?! I'm family! You're just...pregnant with your partner's baby!"

Olivia covered his mouth. "Whoa! No, no, no! I want you to drink a glass of water, Alex. Remember what happened the last time? How we had to call Melinda in the middle of the night? You don't want that to happen again, do you? My main concern is you Alex. You and our baby and Georgia. Your health matters more than this damn fight! Now, please drink a glass of water." She took her hand away. "She is family. She also happens to be carrying your niece or nephew. Learn a little respect. You've got kids."

Alex banged around in the kitchen before drinking a glass of water, throwing a kick at a cupboard door as he talked.

"I found her going through my messages. Surely she would have realized after the first one that it wasn't her phone. Even the picture on the front would have shown her!"

She turned. "That's true, but she's right. They look exactly the same. Then what happened?"

"Then I pulled it off her and she started yelling at me, telling me not to touch her, saying I was going to hurt the baby."

She sighed, looking to her. "Are you ready to talk yet, without yelling? I found Georgia crying, saying that was how her parents were."

"Why bother, we all know who you're going to side with anyway, don't we?" She walked past them both, into the bedroom, slamming the door.

She sighed. "She's been having horrible nightmares about me dying, or this is all a dream or miscarrying... I need to go after her."

Alex pulled Georgia up, apologizing to her and hugging her tightly.

Olivia walked in, leaning against the closed door. "I wasn't lying Alex. You three are my main concern. I...just wanted to make sure you were feeling all right."

Alex threw a glare at her. "You said a week."

She sighed, walking back out. "Our agreement was a week, Simon. How far are you from that deposit?"

"...it was Olivia's birthday. I had to buy her a present..."

She sighed. "You could've asked me. I would've helped."

"Look...it's fine. I'll go and…sleep in the park again or something."

She bit her lip. "How long will it take you now?"

"A month at the most."

She sighed again. "I understand...her birthday, but next time, I'd like to help. Here," she handed him a clean medium-weight blanket and the pillow he'd been using. "I'm sorry to have to do this, really. It's not because of the fight. We did have a deal."

He nodded sadly, taking them from her. "..I have tried, really, but she's…"

She nodded. "I know. I know. She's naturally suspicious. Hey Simon?"

"Yeah?"

"Just, uh," she didn't think she ever had, but she wrapped her arms around him, tightly, "good luck and..." she wiped her eyes, "keep me updated, okay? I'm here. She may not like it, but I am."

He dropped a gentle kiss to her cheek before leaving, shutting the door quietly.

She walked over, sitting on the couch, sighing, trying not to make a sound as the tears fell. She was so close.

* * *

That night, Alex tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Olivia had been her usual self, but something was missing. She was like the Olivia she'd first met...a little broken. As she turned once more and saw the clock read 3am. She sighed and stared at it for several minutes before getting dressed quietly. Reaching the hallway, she pulled down Olivia's thick jacket before slipping from the apartment.

Simon rolled over, trying not to fall off the bench as they were very small, pulling the blanket up over his head for protection from the wind.

Alex said his name, stifling a scream when instead of him, a bleary eyed man with a busy beard looked up at her. "..Sorry." She walked towards the next bench, squinting. "Simon?"

He was already awake from a scream and he sat up, "Alex? What are you doing here? It's not safe."

She swallowed her sharp reply, and managed to speak softly, "Will you come back. Please?"

"Why? I don't want to cause you anymore stress."

She gave a sigh. "Because...it's freezing out here. And...I'd hate to think of one of my children sending the other out to sleep in the cold when they didn't have to. So please come in. I won't ask again."

He sighed. "It'll take a month at most for me to get the money I need. I named my daughter after Olivia and she just had a birthday, so I had to buy her a present..."

"Well, even if you haven't, it'll be warmer in a month so I won't have to come out here getting frost bitten just to make myself feel better."

He stood up, wrapping the blanket around her and walked back with her.

* * *

Alex let them back into the apartment, motioning for him to be quiet.

He nodded, laying back on the couch. Olivia mumbled in her sleep as she felt Alex get back into bed. Her eyes shot open as she felt how cold she was. "Freezing..."

Alex nodded, nestling against her, her teeth chattering.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "You okay?"

"I asked Simon back."

"You...? Why?"

"Because you... you were like you were when I first met you, and I don't want to be the one who makes you that way. I can't say I'll enjoy him being here, but I'll deal with it. Have we unpacked a hot water bottle? My feet are going to drop off!"

Olivia kissed her cheek. "I'll find one." She turned on the light and unpacked one of the lighter boxes, finding two. She walked into the bathroom, emptied them, then refilled them with steamy water, grabbing a few hand towels. She walked back in. "Where does it go again?"

Alex wiggled her toes.

Olivia pulled the blankets back, placing one under her feet. "Is that too hot? I can wrap it in a towel."

"It's perfect. But there's a place...just above my ankle...that needs a kiss."

Olivia kissed it, then kissed a line up her leg to her stomach, before laying back in bed, placing the other under her lower back. "How's that?"

"You missed my lips."

"Aww, I'm sorry!" she caressed her cheeks, kissing her deeply, hand wandering down to rest on her belly. "I love you."

She opened her mouth to reply, but instead gave a surprised hiccup as the baby kicked her. "I think he or she wants m-m-hic! More kisses from you."

Olivia grabbed another water bottle, cold this time. "Here, sit up. This might help."

Alex sat up and took a sip, but still hiccupped. "Talk to her. She likes your voice."

"Really? I don't know what to say."

"Anything?"

Olivia forewent that and just began rubbing clockwise, feeling her kick. "You're a strong baby girl, aren't you? Just like mommy. Oh which one? You can pick."

As Olivia spoke, the baby stopped moving, and Alex began to drift into sleep, but every time she stopped, the baby began moving again, waking her. She ran her hand slowly through Olivia's hear, yawning. "See, she likes you."

"Do we call it he or she? I'm uncomfortable with an 'it' baby."

Alex dropped a kiss to her head, continuing to tangle her hair. "Fetus?"

"No, but we can talk about it later," she rolled over and turned off the light. "Do you want to know what it is?"

"Mmm?" Alex nestled into her again, returning Olivia's hand to her belly.

She sighed, snuggling closer, "Love you."

Alex let out a soft sigh. "I think it's a girl."

"I hope it is. How are your toes? Are you gonna keep them?"

"I think I will. I kind of like them. Will you still love me if I stay fat with big breasts?"

"You're not fat. And as for your breasts...I'll be fine with that. Can you get over being embarrassed about it?"

"When I stop thinking about the fact I accidently breastfed you." Alex moved Olivia's hand so she could feel the flutter in her belly. "Will you talk to her a bit longer so I can go to sleep?"

She smiled, softly beginning to sing. "I miss your voice, I miss your smile, I wish I could give you a kiss from a thousand miles. Sleep well, my love. Tonight when you close your eyes...hear my long distance lullaby... la la la a la la..."

Alex's body relaxed as she fell asleep, and the baby stopped wriggling, but Olivia found herself laying there talking for a long time after both were asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

_Song lyrics: "Long Distance Lullaby" by Martina McBride from 'Eleven'_

Can I ask some of you to chek out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14, jba42 & deadlockQ

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	25. No Bounds

**WARNING: This chapter contains adult content.**

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 25: No Bounds**

Simon had promised to take Georgia out to dinner, so when Olivia and Alex returned from the doctor's, the house was empty. Alex was giggling, and Olivia was grinning, kissing her repeatedly.

"Can we go shopping on the weekend? And paint the nursery?"

Olivia felt like she'd say yes to anything this woman asked from now on. She'd do anything for the woman carrying her daughter. "I love you."

Olivia guided her back to the bedroom. "Yes, we can."

As they walked, Alex stepped out of her clothes and pulled Olivia out of hers, a smile still on her face.

Olivia closed and locked the door, turning around to take everything in. "Beautiful as ever," she said, kicking their clothes to the side.

"You are." She hesitated at taking her bra off.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "I want to see all of you. Please. Show me how beautiful you are."

To distract her, she gave a seductive smile, tugging on her hand. "Have you unpacked the ah...special bedroom toy yet?"

Olivia smiled, pulling a box from under the bed. "You're beautiful to me no matter what. I promise. Please take it off."

"If you put that on, I might give you a little show."

Olivia smiled, taking the objects into the bathroom and changing, walking back out, leaning on the doorframe. "Is this what you wanted?"

Alex smiled, her hands caressing Olivia's arms for a moment before she spoke hoarsely. "On the bed."

"How?"

"On your back."

"Yes ma'am," she said with a smile, laying against the pillows in the middle of the bed.

Alex got on her knees, kissing Olivia, her hands caressing her in ways Olivia hadn't felt for months. When the warmth of her mouth was gone, Olivia's eyes flickered open just in time to see Alex lowering herself down onto the toy, her mouth open in pleasure, her eyes closed.

Olivia again held her hips as she lowered. "You okay?"

Alex just moaned in reply, beginning to meet Olivia's movements, but every time Olivia moved her hand to take off her bra, Alex stopped her.

Olivia's hips slowed. "Wh-why n-not? Oh god..."

Alex's belly now rested on Olivia's stomach every time they met, making her friction greater, bringing her closer to the edge faster. Alex just moaned her name once more, unable to remember anymore as she like Olivia was covering her, inside and out.

Olivia laid her on her side, but then lifted her until she was on her knees. "Does this hurt?"

Alex shook her head, holding tightly to her.

She leaned in close, pulling out. "Can you turn around for me? I would ask you to stand and lean, but now I think it might be too much."

Alex moved, giving a loud moan at the extra pressure it caused.

"Pain?"

"I think...OH GOD!"

Olivia smiled, holding her up. "Do you want me to? Yes or no?"

Alex nodded, but seemed unable to speak anything other than swear words.

Olivia moved slowly, letting Alex get used to the position, but soon her hips were thrusting back into hers. She grabbed her hips, holding on tight, thrusting a little faster, waiting for her.

Alex's arms collapsed onto the pillow, the sharper angle causing even more friction for Olivia as Alex reached back one hand to grasp her thigh.

"More? Or is it too much?"

"Stop. Stop. For a second. Or I think I'm going to soak...everything."

Olivia stopped, holding Alex's hips to hers. "Okay. Do you want to quit?"

"I don't know. Depends whether or not you want to buy a new mattress."

"I could put a couple towels down..."

"I don't know if towels..ah..will...stop..moving."

"That's not me, honey. That's you. You're aching."

Alex moaned softly at Olivia's words, then quietly told her to keep going. True to her word, although not quite as exaggerated, by the time they'd finished, Olivia's thighs were dripping with moisture and she was sure both of them had lasted longer than they ever had before. Alex was still moaning softly every time she moved.

Olivia slowly pulled out, pulling Alex by the ankles, gently, to straighten her out, before laying her on her side. Then she walked shakily to the bathroom got out of it and washed the toy, drying the harness. She walked back putting them away before getting up on the bed, touching her shoulder.

Alex moaned, then giggled, then moaned again.

Olivia slowly rolled her onto her back, wiping her up with a towel, then herself. She smiled, laying her head on her shoulder. "W-we must try that again..."

"If I didn't know you very well, I'd think you'd been practicing that."

"Nope. I just know from that angle, you can go a hell of a lot deeper. And it looks like I was right, but there is one thing I haven't done for ages that I would love to do if you'll let me."

"As long as it's nothing down there because I don't think it's ready for a second go yet."

"Aww. I understand though. It was a lot and now you're extra sensitive."

"What do you want to do?" Alex pulled her closer.

"I...was going to ask...if I could...have a taste?"

"Of?"

"You."

Alex smiled and caressed her face for a moment before sighing. "Well, as long as we don't need to walk anywhere for the next couple of days, I'm all yours."

She sighed. "Never mind then. Sure smells appetizing though."

Alex smiled once more, pushing her away gently. "Alright, go on."

"But...you'll be..."

"Screaming? Probably. But I think it will be worth it."

Olivia moved over to between her legs, separating them. Leaning down she licked and nibbled on her clit.

Alex said her name loudly, one hand gripping her shoulder and the other gripping her hair.

Olivia's tongue dove inside the warmth, feeling her hips buck over and over, Alex gasping for air.

"Oh god. Oh god!"

Olivia's tongue darted in and out as she felt the light nectar flowing, but she pressed on.

Alex stopped moaning and just began to whimper.

Olivia sucked on the spot, her tongue going faster.

Alex began to whisper her name, then said it louder, her hand holding tighter.

Olivia pulled out, sucking on her lit again as three fingers slid in. "Come on, Lex," she breathed into her.

Alex swallowed, whimpering again as the waves began to overtake her.

Olivia sped up, wanting to hear her name from her lips, doubting she could hold much longer.

"L-L-l...Liv. LIV!"

She pulled her fingers out and swallowed again and again until Alex couldn't give anymore. She smiled, crawling up to lay beside her.

"The th-things I do for you."

Olivia pulled the blankets over them. "But you do it because you love me."

"Most of the time. I don't think we're going to be able to mention the sex of the baby if it's going to make you like this every time."

Olivia pulled her close, kissing her gently. "It won't make me like this every time, just...this time. Change like this isn't bad..."

"It's exhausting though."

She nodded. "I know, but will you please take that off so we can sleep for a bit? I promise I won't do anything, please?"

"You'll have to do it then."

"You'll need to be on your side for a second."

Alex allowed Olivia to move her anyway she wanted, wrapping her arms around her neck, and by the time Olivia lay her back again, she was fast asleep.

Olivia laid her head on her shoulder, after kissing her gently again, covering them back up. She laid on hand on her belly, feeling the baby move, making Alex groan. "No, no, shhh," she whispered, rubbing in circles, "sleep for Mommy. Be a good girl."

After a few more coaxing words from Olivia, the baby settled down to sleep as well. The next thing Olivia knew, she was woken by the sound of Georgia stopping through the apartment asking what time everyone was getting up to make her breakfast.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Can I ask some of you to check out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	26. Protect

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 26: Protect**

Olivia was holding tightly to Alex, a few days later, as they entered the precinct. Everyone smiled, but Elliot had a grin so big Olivia almost felt like knocking him flat as she rested Alex's feet on a nearby chair, after sitting Alex in her chair. "What the hell's with you?"

"What, I can't smile these days?"

"You never smile that much. Now make yourself useful and grab Cragen. He said he wanted to be kept filled in. Oh and Alex, did you want Liz to come over here or should we go there?"

Alex gave a sigh. She'd been all for telling people in a text message or over the phone, but Olivia had insisted on dragging her in. "We can go there later, she's probably busy."

Elliot walked past her and put a hand on her shoulder, whispering something in her ear that made her smile, but before Olivia could get out her biting, jealous remark, Cragen walked out.

She sighed, happily, resting a hand on Alex's shoulder. "We found out, a few days ago, that it's a little girl and Elliot, stop or I'll knock that grin out of you. You're allowed to be happy, but..."

Alex moved a hand around her, slapping her thigh gently. "He's not grinning about that, and yes he is."

She looked at her, kneeling beside her. "Then what..."

"Ask him yourself, and stop being jealous." Alex dropped a kiss to her nose before accepting offers of congratulations from several people.

She sighed, looking at him. "What?"

He folded his arms and looked at her straight on for a moment before shaking his head. "You know what? I don't want to tell you. What is with you all of a sudden? Asking to work with Munch, I get though...ok, he doesn't go out so often, so you'll be here more of the time...but you barely talk to me anymore, and now I'm not even allowed to smile because I also have good news? I'm out of here." He grabbed his coat.

She sighed, seeing Alex nod before grabbing his wrist. "Did I tell you I saw your old partner a few days ago?"

He pulled his arm from her with force, brushing her off. "Who?"

"Sasha Keef, she was giving Alex advice on stress reduction. Look, I'm sorry ok? I...guess I've been a little too preoccupied with Alex." She looked back to her. "You'll be okay if I go out of the area every once in a while won't you?"

"It's not like I haven't got the rest of your family hanging around me telling me not to do anything."

"Oh, so your brother's back? That another reason you haven't invited me to see your new place? Forget it, Liv. By the way, Kathy's pregnant." He walked from the precinct.

She sighed. Pulling out her phone, she text, "Congratulations," then pushed it back into her pocket. She pulled a piece of paper from his desk, scribbling a note, then walked back over to beside Alex. "And here I was thinking nothing could ruin my good mood. By focusing on one relationship, I think I've screwed up others. I've got to be out of here more."

"What I think, if I may be permitted to think, is that I'm not the one being stressed anymore, it's you. You're trying to look after everyone. You need to relax. Everyone is ok. Sure, your brother is a complete dickhead and he thinks I'm a bitch and Georgia is probably just about old enough to start shooting up drugs, but I think you'll find if you relax, nothing bad will happen."

She sighed, wanting to defend Simon, but not wanting to get into another argument. "You can relax. I don't have the time for it. The reason I'm working so much is so you aren't stressed, but I am beginning to see how just paperwork drives you crazy You don't...make connections with people. Hell, I didn't join this squad to do paperwork. And I'm tired of it." She sighed again. "The next time he goes out, I'm going with. I need to for my sanity."

"Fine. I never asked you to sit tethered to a desk all day. All I wanted was for you to be home a bit more. Sometimes you forget that I know what's involved in your job. You being in here makes it hardly any less dangerous. So on that note, I'm leaving." Alex stood.

Olivia sighed. "Fine, just be careful." She remembered the steps up into the building and offered a hand. "At least, let me help you from the building."

Alex sighed, wanting to say no, wanted to say she'd be fine, but she knew Olivia would argue, so she gave a nod, accepting Olivia's offered hand.

Olivia walked out slowly with her. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't be afraid to have an opinion. You never were before..."

"Now every time I say anything or do anything, everyone seems to think I'm just...talking baby or being a silly woman. I fought for years against that and I hate it."

She sighed as they made their way over the steps. "I'll try my best not to make you feel that way, but, honestly now, if I went out into the field, if I text you when I was going and left my phone on, do you think you'd...be okay? I know you miss it and it's not fair that I can leave and you can't, but... and you can say no. I'll respect that."

Alex sighed, wanting to say no, wanting to tell her to stay where she was, but she knew it was selfish. "As long as you're home every night."

She nodded. "Are you kidding? Lying next to you and feeling our daughter," she gently rested a hand on her, "I wouldn't miss it. You're going home, right?"

"Yes. Home to do the cleaning and the ironing like a good little housewife while you make all the money."

She smiled. "It won't be like that forever. You'll be back to your passion soon enough. I miss coming to you for warrants."

"...Well, I can't say I miss your terrible handwriting." She grasped Olivia's hand and pressed it to her belly so she could feel the baby kick. "I think she's telling you to get back to work."

Olivia kissed her gently. "Careful." Then walked back inside.

Alex looked at the queue of people waiting for a cab, glanced back to make sure Olivia had gone inside, then turned in the direction of their new apartment and began walking.

* * *

Olivia worked three more hours, interrogating a suspect that they couldn't hold on assault charges, then walked home, finding Georgia and Simon eating sandwiches in the kitchen. She walked back to the bedroom, but she wasn't there. The same for all the others. "Have either of you seen Alex in the last three hours?"

They both shook their heads. "I thought maybe she'd gone to work."

Olivia's worry began to worsen when Alex's cell rang endlessly. "Look after her," was all she said before leaving.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, she was outside Elliot's door, knocking with s horrible feeling in her stomach.

He pulled it open, chest bare and wet from showering. When he saw who it was he sighed. "What?"

"Hi to you too. First, I'm shouldn't have acted like that. Second, congratulations. And third..." her eyes wandered a bit, "Alex isn't here is she? I walked her down the steps three hours ago and she said she was going straight home," she spoke with worry obvious in her voice.

Elliot was silent for a moment, unwilling to mention the perp he'd been dealing with who targeted pregnant women. "Have you tried her office?"

Her hands shook as she took them from her pockets, nodding. "Both just ring and go to voicemail."

Elliot nodded. "Did you fight? Might she have gone somewhere to cool down?"

She shook her head. "We did, but we made up. ...There's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"

"Look, I'll call it in, get people to keep a look out, and we will take a walk the way she would have gone home. You know what she's like, probably got sidetracked by a bookshop or something."

She nodded, walking in as he closed the door. "Thanks."

Twenty minutes later, they were following the route Alex normally walked, checking in the shops and alleyways. An owner of one of the bookshops gave a nod at Elliot's description. "She was in here. Two or three hours ago. Said her partner would kill her if she bought more books, so was just browsing. She did end up buying a book on baby names."

Olivia smiled. "I wouldn't go that far, but she does have a very extensive book collection already."

"Said she was going to try and trick her partner into thinking she wanted to name the baby laquifah or something. We had a good chat. Then she said she had to go, needed to pick her daughter up from school. Nothing bad happened has it? Only my neighbor is pregnant and she's terrified of going out alone because of that guy."

Olivia shot Elliot a look. "What guy?"

"No one. Thanks for your help." He led Olivia from the shop. "Well we know she was headed for Georgia's school, there are thousands of shops, parks, cafes…" He stopped talking. "Can you hear that?"

She nodded. "Someone's crying," she said as they walked behind the shop, seeing someone covered in bloody blankets. Olivia walked closer and saw blonde hair. Now that she was closer the jacket was sticking out. "Alex?"

Alex thought she was having one of her dreams, but then she heard Olivia's voice. She never spoke in her dreams. The blankets shifted a little as she pulled up her legs as far as she could, not wanting to be seen.

Olivia recognized the voice now, walking up and pulling the blankets away. "Alex!" she said beside her, taking in the cuts, scrapes and bruises. "Alex, sweetie, wake up. Wait, nothing's bleeding, so where...?"

Alex's hand flew to her belly as another pain flashed across it. It was ok. It wouldn't be real if she didn't open her eyes.

"I'll call a bus." Elliot stepped away.

"Oh God, Elliot! Put a rush on it!" she yelled, noticing the blood underneath Alex. Olivia sat down, pulling her to her. "It's gonna be okay. You've got to wake up and tell me what hurts," she kissed her cheek. "I'm here, I'm here," she said, choking up. "Please wake up!"

Alex cried out as another pain hit her, her hands grasping onto Olivia's jacket. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Olivia hugged her. "Sorry for what, honey?"

That was the only phrase Alex uttered until the paramedics got there, forcing Olivia out of the way to bundle her onto a bed and put a mask on her.

Olivia climbed into the ambulance with her, though she had to fight a bit with the new paramedic, but the driver recognized her. "She's NYPD. She's okay."

"Are you coming?" she asked Elliot.

"I'll go to your place, let Simon know. She'll be ok, Liv."

Alex finally opened her eyes, attempting to get up when she couldn't see Olivia.

Olivia nodded, walking over to beside her. "It's okay," she grabbed her hand, "it's okay. You need to lay down."

"I'm just having another dream, aren't I? This is just another dream?" Alex looked at her earnestly.

She hated to lie, but... She looked so terrified. "Yes sweetie. The most realistic dream you'll ever have."

Alex let out a relieved breath, staring up at her trustingly. "And when I wake up you're going to be there to hug me and tell me it was just a dream?"

She bit her lip. "I...Alex...it...I'll be there to hug you," she said, tears running down her cheeks.

Alex's eyes fluttered shut, her face white.

"Alex!"

The paramedic urged her to keep talking calmly to her as he pumped fluids into her.

* * *

At the hospital, however, Olivia was pushed aside, left alone in a corridor, as they wheeled Alex away.

Olivia leaned against the wall, near a breaking point. She text Elliot. "They just took her away. I don't know what to do!"

Half an hour later, both Elliot and Simon were sitting with her, one with his arm around her, the other holding her hand. A doctor walked out, assessing their bent heads before asking softly, "Who...ah...is next of kin?"

Olivia looked up. "I am," she attempted to stand, but faltered as Simon and Elliot caught her. "Wh-what's happened? What's wrong?"

"She lost a lot of blood. One of her arms is broken…but she's going to be ok."

She hated to ask, so she looked to Elliot, who nodded. "And the baby...?"

"It looks as though she protected it from the worst of everything with her arms, that's why, at the moment, it's ok. We'll need to wait a few more days to be sure."

She nodded. "C-can I see her? Is she awake?"

"Barely. You can go in, but try not to upset her."

She nodded. "That may be unavoidable, but I'll try."

She walked in, slowly, seeing Alex looking toward the wall, tears running, with a cast on her right arm, in a sling with an IV in the other hand. In the light, the marks on her face and neck looked much worse. She stood beside the bed, not knowing what to say.

Alex finally noticed her, and looked up at her. "I-it wasn't a dream was it?" Her voice came out in a whisper.

She shook her head. "If I had said that, would you have believed me?" she whispered. "Pain is real, th-these marks..." she sat on the bed.

Alex reached out, pulling her weakly closer, moving until she was in her arms.

Olivia carefully wrapped her arms around her, kissing her cheek again and again as she felt her tremble. "I love you, I'm sorry. I-I should've gone after you."

"They won't… They haven't… The baby…is it…" She whispered, shaking.

"Shhh, they think she's okay, that that's why your arm is broken, but they need to keep you under observation for a few days to be sure," she said, hugging her tighter. "I wish this was a dream."

Alex's tears began to fall again, and she moved Olivia's arms down to cover her bump. "Please don't leave. I'm so tired, but I'm scared to sleep."

She turned, "Simon," she called.

Even someone she'd disliked, it was a comfort to Alex now as she recognized him, and when he walked hesitantly into the room, she cried harder. "I was so horrible to you. I only wanted to protect Olivia. I didn't want her to get hurt."

He nodded. "I know and she said you didn't know who I was either. But it is true. She did clear my name. I don't mean to be a burden to either of you. I don't know if she's told you, but if I can keep this job, there's a chance of me getting my kids back. That's why it's so important to me to be here and why I'm so grateful to you for putting everything aside."

Alex suddenly panicked and attempted to get up. "I was going to get Georgia. Did anyone get her?"

He nodded. "Calm down, Alex. I figured you got caught up at work, so I went and got her. She's over at the neighbor's now. I know you're going to want to stay here Olivia, so do you want me to take over some clothes for her?"

She looked to Alex. "What do you think?"

"I don't know...my head's all...fuzzy...I just want to sleep."

Olivia nodded, holding her against her as the doctor walked in. "Yes Simon. That would work best." She looked to the doctor. "Would anyone have a problem if I stayed with her?"

He looked unsure, but noticed the way Alex was clinging to her and gave a nod. "Ok."

"I'll be careful. I promise," she pulled away and stood up, walking over. "I wouldn't ask, but she's been having trouble sleeping. Chances are if I'm not in the room, she won't sleep."

He sighed, thought for a moment, the offered, "I'm not sure we have any spare beds, but we should be able to find you a comfortable chair. I'll see what I can do." As he left, Alex called her back, reaching out for her.

She turned around, sitting back on the bed. "It's going to be okay." She saw Simon walk out. "Elliot and I questioned a few people. Heard you were looking at baby names," she said as Alex leaned into her and she rubbed her back.

Alex attempted to talk idly to her, hiccupping every so often, but soon she fell into a light sleep, resting against Olivia and holding her hands to her belly. As Olivia sat there, she suddenly felt a bump against her hand, then another.

She smiled. "Shh, let Mommy sleep. She's been through a lot today, but you're okay, aren't you?"

The baby gave another, kicking hard enough to make Alex groan in her sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Can I ask some of you to check out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14, jba42 & tummer22

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	27. Rocker

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 27: Rocker**

Alex had been home a couple of days, but had stayed mostly in the bedroom. She was reluctant to go anywhere near the outside, even near windows. Now Olivia was trying to convince her to go shopping for the baby, and she was too embarrassed to admit setting foot out the door terrified her. "Why don't we just have a baby shower? Everyone else can buy it all for us."

Olivia sat on the bed, taking her hands. "I...I know you're upset, but don't you want to go out and pick out a crib or a cradle, blankets? I'll be with you. We can call Kathy. I'm sure she needs things too. Elliot told me they got rid of everything after Eli was old enough because he was SO sure they weren't going to have another baby. And she'll know what we need... Come on, please?"

Tears prickled in her eyes. She was so easily brought to tears these days and she hated it. "..I'm scared."

Olivia pulled her close. "I know, sweetie, but it's okay. When things like this happen I wouldn't expect you not to be, even if you weren't pregnant. But the first step to feeling better about it is to admit what happened and face it. You won't be alone. I'll hold your hand or push you in a wheelchair, but I won't leave you. I love you."

Alex sighed, still not wanting to admit the extent of her fear. Instead, she gave a nod. "But...if I ask to come home, can we come back? No questions?"

She nodded, holding her chin, kissing her deeply, moaning her name into her lips.

Alex wrapped her arms around her and hugged her for a long time before asking softly, "Will you find some clothes for me while I shower?"

Olivia rubbed her back, kissing her cheek. "Do you want me to see if Kathy wants to come along?"

Alex gave a nod. "But…ask her to meet us here, okay?"

She nodded. "Can I explain why?"

Alex hesitated before nodding, then headed into the bathroom. She procrastinated for a long time, and despite Kathy turning up after an hour, it was another two before they left the house, and then she held so tightly to Olivia's hand she could barely feel it.

Olivia said nothing, understanding how she felt, before they walked in, she stopped. "Has anything remotely, similar happened to you, Kathy? I...don't mean to bring up bad memories, but..."

She shook her head, touching Alex's elbow gently. "I can just see you pushing that pram. Sophisticated, yet a little...mad."

Alex gave the first smile since she'd left hospital, and while it was a little forced, it felt genuine. "Gee, thanks."

"Alex, can we go inside?"

Alex stood still.

"Alex?"

Alex glanced at her, a smile still wavering on her face.

Slowly, they made their way in.

"Can you...do you feel like walking? I know you can, but with your arm..."

Alex would normally have gotten cross with such a question, but this new Alex just gave a small shrug. "I'm ok just holding your hand. Please."

Olivia nodded. "Okay. Where to first?"

Alex pointed to the cots, sinking behind Olivia when a sales person joined them.

Olivia noticed the salesperson's expression. "We've never done this before..."

"Ah. Ok, well, the cots here are expertly made, all one of a kind. Do you know what you're having?"

Olivia felt Alex trembling. "Yes, a baby girl, so maybe something...light pink or..." She turned to Alex. "Do you have a color in mind?"

Alex shook her head, staring blankly at the cots. The sales woman looked between them before moving to the most expensive, fingers crossed, but before she could give her sales pitch, Kathy appeared, pointing out a pretty wooden out. "You could paint this one yourself after you've chosen the color of your nursery. And it can be lowered for a toddler so you won't need to buy another."

"Spoken from experience I assume?" Olivia asked. "What do you think?"

Alex just gave a nod, holding tighter to Olivia's arm.

Olivia patted her hand reassuringly. "Can we look a little more?" She looked to the saleswoman. "We really like that one, but we still want to look around a bit."

Alex tried to look at the things everyone was pointing out, but all she could see was the red things jumping out, covering everything else.

Finally, they stopped near the rocking chairs, which were deserted. Olivia encouraged her. "Try them. See which one she likes best."

Alex was reluctant to let go of her, but finally did and sat in the first chair.

Olivia turned to Kathy. "Can I get you to grab some different soft blankets? I don't mean to exclude you, but Alex was really shy about coming with us anyway and... I'm not saying you have to do anything, but..."

Kathy smiled and squeezed Olivia's arm before walking away.

Alex moved to the next chair that matched the cot and gave a sharp intake of breath, putting her hand to her belly. "I think she likes this one."

Olivia smiled, sitting in the one she'd just vacated. "Alex, its...not everyone's out to get you. I won't let them. I would appreciate if you had an opinion on...anything we're getting."

"Everything's...nice. Just...nothing red, okay?"

She nodded, not needing to ask why. "So, do you want to try all of these before you decide? Or do you want that one?"

Alex took Olivia's hand, putting it to her belly, surprised the force of the kicks wasn't obvious on the outside. "I don't think she'd like that."

She laughed a bit. "Stand up."

Alex stood with her help, keeping hold of her hand. "You try it."

Olivia sat behind her. "Sit."

Alex's eyes gave a once familiar twinkle. "You know last time I sat on your knee your legs went to sleep. Here, practice with this." She passed a baby doll by the leg to Olivia.

She shook her head. "No, I want you. My legs will wake up eventually. Come on, please?"

Alex shook her head, and dropped the baby on her lap. "Try sticking it down your top and see how easy it is to get up, even from someone's lap."

"Alex...please? I'll be okay."

Alex sighed and stood for a moment before with her arms folded before finally sitting down.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, rocking gently. "So, how does Mommy like it?"

"It's fine."

She smiled, standing with her. "Good."

* * *

Olivia paid and loaded the car, after seating Alex, She smiled, seeing Alex fast asleep as they headed home. Olivia helped Kathy put her items into her car. "Thanks again. I had a feeling she wouldn't be very...active. She hadn't been out since it happened."

"When you asked if anything similar had happened to me...well, maybe when you're out at work tomorrow, I could stop by, have a talk with her? I think I have some wisdom I could share with her."

"Okay," she said, getting in beside Alex who groaned a bit as her hands flew to her stomach. "Sore?"

"She keeps kicking me in the stomach. Not that I mind, I'm glad to know she's still-" Alex trailed off and looked out the window.

Olivia placed a hand on her leg. "I know, I know."

* * *

Back at home, Alex returned straight to the bedroom she'd taken up residence in, sitting on the side of the bed furthest from the window as she helped Georgia with her homework.

Olivia walked in after about an hour. "Dinner's ready. I highly doubt I burned spaghetti."

"I'll have mine in here," Alex said softly.

Georgia nodded. "Me too."

Olivia walked out, walking back in minutes later with a couple TV trays, a few minutes later with two steaming plates. "Anything to drink, ladies?"

Alex shook her head.

"A glass of wine?" Georgia asked with a cheeky grin.

Olivia shook her head. She walked out, walking back in with two glasses of water. "Well, Simon's said he's working late, so..."

"Are you going to eat with us?" the normally sophisticated woman asked through a mouthful of food, suddenly starving after she tasted the first bite.

Olivia ran a finger under her bottom lip, getting the sauce and sucking it from her finger. "Do you want me to?"

Alex nodded then froze. "...You weren't going out were you?"

Olivia rested a hand on her shoulder, smiling. "Of course not. Who told you that?"

"You've still got your jacket on."

Olivia shed her jacket on the floor. Ten minutes later, she was sitting beside Alex, food resting in her lap. "By the way, Kathy's coming over to talk to you about something."

Alex sighed, wiping Georgia's hands before she wiped them on the sheets. "When? Will you be here?"

Olivia shook her head. "Here, Georgia, be Mommy's helper and put the dirty dishes in the sink."

Georgia took them all and walked carefully from the room.

Olivia rested an arm on her shoulders. "She says she has a little wisdom for you. It'll be while I'm at work. Come on, it's Kathy! Nothing bad's going to happen."

"..I don't want you to go back to work. I need you here."

"You'll be fine, sweetie. I promise. Why do you want me here?"

She pulled the covers to her chin then gave a shrug. "Doesn't matter. I think I'll go to sleep now. Can you see to Georgia?

She pulled her back up. "No, tell me. Give a reason why you want me here," she sighed, touching her belly, "you know I'll stay, but I'd...like to know why you want me to."

"...I'm scared."

"Of what? You can lock the doors and windows, pull the blinds..."

Alex sighed, lying down again "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me. Honey, please? I want to help you, but I need to know."

"I can't explain it. It won't make sense. Just...go to work."

"No."

Alex sighed and looked at her for a moment before telling her. "He said he was going to kill my baby. He said if he didn't manage it the first time, he'd come back again and now my photo and article have been in the paper."

Olivia laid down next to her, pulling her close. "Then I won't go. Not until he's caught, okay? I won't let anything else happen."

"You couldn't stop it last time," as soon as she'd said it she wished she hadn't.

She sighed. "I know, but I will this time. I promise."

By the time Georgia returned, requesting help, Alex had fallen asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Can I ask some of you to check out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	28. Shower

**WARNING: This chapter contains adult content.**

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 28: Shower**

The next morning Olivia woke earlier than usual, calling Elliot. His cell rang twice.

He spoke sleepily, "Stabler."

"Hey, sorry it's so early, but Alex is still completely terrified by what happened," she said, walking from the room and closing the door. "He said if he didn't kill the baby this time, he'd be back and...I do miss working with you, but I just think, until the bastard is caught, it's better for her if I stay close. You're not angry, are you?"

He gave a sigh. "I wasn't angry with you about that, Liv. It was..." He sighed again and left his bedroom, shutting the door gently. "Look, Kathy told me she's coming over today. How about I come too? We can sort out some kind of last minute baby shower?"

"Alex was saying something about that too," she walked into the kitchen. She nodded. "Yeah, that'd be perfect. Will it be just us?"

"We could ask Liz…that woman who lives next door to you. Just people she feels safe with."

Olivia had to smile. "Liz? Well, okay, we did promise to give the girl her middle name in exchange for her taking on a huge case for Alex. I think I should tell, at least, tell Alex about it."

"You think she'd be interested though? Leave it to Kathy. Once she gets there, she'll make it ok for you to leave for a bit. I'll wait downstairs and we'll go and sort everything out."

"Yeah, she was hinting about it yesterday. Eliot, I'm not saying Kathy can't handle her, but Alex is very...fickle right now, so be sure to keep your phone on you, just in case. I'm going to."

"Will do. Just try to relax a little. It will relax her as well."

"Yep. Any idea when she said she'd drop by?"

"Probably after she's dropped the kids at school."

She nodded. "That'll give me time to get Georgia up and dressed and have Simon walk her to school. He's working at a construction site a few blocks from here."

Elliot just gave a grunt, Simon clearly a sore point for him as well as Alex. "Well, I'll see you later."

"Yep, bye," she hung up the phone, walking back into the bedroom and sitting by her.

Alex was just waking up, yawning and stretching.

Olivia rested a hand on hers. "Morning. How did you sleep?"

Alex gave a small shrug. "Ok."

"I just got off the phone with Elliot. Guess what we're doing today?"

"I don't want to go out again, Liv."

Olivia hugged her gently, kissing her. "You don't have to, but I do...if you want a baby shower, that is. It'll only be for a little while though."

Alex sighed. "But who's going to come? I don't want people I barely know. And what will they eat?"

"Elliot said to let Kathy handle it. I have to admit when he mentioned Liz, I laughed. But we were thinking just people you feel comfortable around."

"You've been talking to Elliot about me?!"

"I, originally, called him to tell him I was staying home with you until...whoever it is, is caught. He brought it up."

Alex sighed, resting back against her pillows. She didn't speak for a long time, and then it was only to say Olivia had better get Georgia up for school.

Simon appeared, freshly showered and clothed, behind them. "I'll take her. I heard you earlier. I don't mind."

"She's not your daughter," Alex spoke sharply, then lowered her head.

He nodded. "Yes, but you would rather she stays with you right? To protect you and the baby? I'm trying to earn your respect. Won't you let me keep building it up?"

She gave a sigh, then glanced towards Olivia. "It's not you I have an issue with, it's the fact Olivia seems to have forgotten all about her daughter and is leaving it all to you."

Olivia sighed. "I'll take her. Thanks though."

He smiled and left.

"Kathy should be here by the time I get back, but I'll come and check anyway."

* * *

Georgia was excited to spend time alone with Olivia for the first time in a long time, and held her hand, skipping along beside her. "I wish you'd walk me to school every day. Simon is ok, but there's another girl at the gates he always wants to talk to, and he forgets about me, then at home, everyone is too busy for me."

Olivia smiled. "Must be Olivia. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be. But I have no good excuse for not."

"I don't mind. I know when the baby is born you will have time to play at the park with me again. You will…won't you?" She stopped to look up at her.

She bent down. "Of course I will. And the baby too."

She wrapped her arms around her. "Good. Look, there's the girl he talks to."

"Should we go say hi?" she asked as they got closer.

Georgia approached, and the girl turned to look at her, looking her up and down before catching sight of Olivia behind her. "...I know you."

She walked a bit closer. "You think so, do you?"

"...I think my dad had a photo of you."

She smiled. "Do you know my name? I know yours."

She shook her head. Sensing something between them, Georgia wrapped her arm around Olivia's leg possessively.

Olivia wrapped an arm around her. "It's okay, Georgia. Is your daddy Simon?"

The girl gave a nod, then looked startled as a woman approached, putting an arm around her shoulder.

She glared at Olivia. "Can I help you?"

Olivia straightened up. "I'm sorry. My name is Olivia Benson. I'm just here to drop Georgia off. I...think I know this little girl. I didn't mean to cause a disruption." She smiled at Georgia. "Play nice. I'll see you later."

As Georgia listened to the woman tell the little girl she must stop talking to people, she made it her mission of the day to find out everything about her to tell Olivia when she got home. Happily, she skipped off into the building.

Olivia smiled, walking back to the apartment, surprised that Simon hadn't mentioned they the two were in school together.

* * *

Inside, Kathy had arrived shortly after Olivia had left, and now both she and Alex's heads were bent over a laptop, looking through online baby stores. They barely noticed Olivia's entrance.

Olivia cleared her throat.

Kathy glanced up. "Oh. Hi. Elliot's outside somewhere."

"Hi, just wanted to make sure things were okay here before I left."

Alex gave a distracted nod. "Can you buy some croissants while you're out?"

Kathy gave Olivia a wink.

Olivia nodded, walking over to kiss Alex's cheek and walked out. Walking outside, she found Elliot leaning against the car. "Hi. How are you?"

"Fine." He opened the door for her before walking to the driver's side.

She calmly sat, closed the door and buckled in. "That's good. Now that we're alone, sometime during this outing would you care to explain to me why you were..." she sighed. "Well, I get it. I'm good with kids, victims, but..."

He sighed, started the car and sat for a moment before stopping it. "We've always been…close. We've had to trust each other, have each other's backs. I always assumed that wasn't just a work thing but a personal thing as well. I always share things with you. Yet…suddenly you've clammed up, you've stopped talking to me. You're talking to Huang, to Cragen...even to Kathy, but not to me."

"I talked to Huang because I encouraged Alex to talk to him about her nightmares. He was passing information. I talked to Cragen about getting my hours cut back earlier than he thought necessary. I talked to Kathy because...well, she's had more kids than anyone I know. I'm sorry for leaving you out of the loop. You're right. We do have a personal bond. I just thought you'd heard all the worries before with Kathy, so I didn't want to bore or bother you. Does that make sense?"

"I thought you'd know I wouldn't care. I'd help you anyway I could." He started the car again, pulling out of the car park.

She patted his arm. "Well, I'll bother you next time. How 'bout that?"

"I don't know. You might have to convince me with a beer or two this evening. Liz first?"

She nodded. "Okay, but I don't know the first thing about just asking anyone. I'd...probably be as good as Alex was when...you know."

Elliot gave a laugh. "Well how about I drop you off near the shops, you can get some food sorted, and I'll go and sort the people out?"

"I'll need your wife's number then. I have no idea what to get."

He quoted Kathy's number. "Don't get anything frozen or cold. We'll pick them up last. We need to sort out a few presents for Alex first. And Georgia, no doubt, if she's anything like my lot."

She smiled. "Yeah, she was asking. She does need a new bookshelf for her room. It doesn't need to be huge or anything."

"I saw a pink one in a shop near her school. Hideous. She'd probably love it."

"I think that's the one Alex actually hates, but we can always repaint it."

"I doubt it. Georgia called me a couple of days ago, asked me to try and convince you to buy it for her."

She sighed. "Yeah, figures she would. Got a paper and pen and I'll call for a list really quick?"

"In the glove box." When Olivia opened it, several toys fell out, and a half eaten lollypop. "Don't look so grossed out. Your car will be like that soon."

She grabbed them with a sigh, dialing Kathy's number, pen ready.

Kathy answered after several rings, mid-way through a laugh. There were a few whispers before she managed to answer soberly, deepening her voice. "Stabler."

She smiled. "Hi Kathy, it's Olivia. I'm at the shops. Do you have a list for food?"

"Oh, hold on, we were just writing one." As she read out what they'd written, predominantly food that did not go together, making Elliot groan with the thought of eating them, she could hear Alex in the background adding things to the list.

"Oh, and tell her to get me a good, hard-"

The rest of her sentence disappeared as Kathy shrieked. "I'm not repeating that! Olivia, your wife is disturbed!"

She turned deep red, trying not to laugh. "I'm sorry. Tell her to text it to me. I probably won't get it, but... Anyway, is this everything?"

"I think so. Has Elliot told you about our call from Georgia?"

She nodded. "Yes, why?"

"Just making sure he remembered. We'll see you in a while."

"Okay." She hung up, still fighting the urge to laugh.

* * *

When Olivia arrived home, Elliot in tow, Georgia pulled open the door to meet her, throwing her arms around her. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Simon appeared behind her. "We had a delivery. A pink delivery."

Olivia nodded. "You're welcome. Will you help carry these into the kitchen?"

She grabbed some from her hands. "I put a note on your bed. It's from the girl you talked to this morning. Did you know her name is Olivia too? I was really brave. I went up to her at play time and asked her lots of questions, like you do at work and she said to give you the note. Can I have some of this ice cream now?"

Elliot elbowed Olivia. "Hopefully you don't get another chatterbox."

She smiled. "Yeah, hopefully." She turned to Georgia. "Yes, a little bit. Uncle Elliot will help you." Then she walked back to the bedroom, sitting down and reading the note that was neatly printed.

"Georgia told me your name is Olivia too, and now I remember that my dad named me after you. He comes to the school sometimes to talk, but the lady I live with gets cross and yells at him. Please, if you still see him, tell him I miss him and I love him. I drew him this picture to say thank you for my birthday present. I have to hide it from everyone, but my brother. We think it's the best present ever." Tucked inside the note was a small drawing of a family all holding hands outside a house.

She walked to the doorway. "Simon, can you come in here a minute?"

He walked in with a grin. "That pink thing is horrible. Alex is in there now trying to decide where best to hide it."

She smiled. "Close the door and come sit down."

He did as she asked, giving her a smile.

"Why didn't you tell me Olivia and Georgia were in school together?"

He lowered his eyes. "I thought you might think I was using her. I wasn't, honestly. I didn't even know. They wouldn't tell me. I just happened to see her one day."

She patted his shoulder, handing him the note,

He took it, tears shining in his eyes as he read, then looked down at the photo. A smile lit his face as he looked at it. "...She wants to be a family, Liv."

"Of course she does. You're her dad and..." she bit her lip, "hopefully you have better morals than..." she stood and paced in front of him."I...hate asking, really, anything about..."

He watched her for a moment before offering, "How about we talk about him another day? Today is supposed to be special. Even Alex has decided to dress up. I quite fancy her."

She nodded. "You're right. You do realize she's MY wife right? Carrying MY child?" she said with a smirk. "You can keep the picture, but can I have the note?"

He nodded, leading her from the room.

Olivia stopped in Georgia's room, seeing Alex seated on the bed, eyes closed, hands on her belly. "Are you two okay?"

"I'm just trying not to be sick at the sight of that monstrous chest of drawers."

Olivia sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her. "I think you mortified Kathy earlier," she said with a laugh.

"All I did was ask for a cucumber. Not my fault she'd found our...ah…'friend'...in the draw earlier."

She sighed. "What was she looking for?"

"My phone. You haven't seen it, have you? She said she won't tell Elliot, said he'd never be able to look at you again, then she wanted to know all about it. "

"About what? The last I saw of it Georgia laid it on the nightstand

"My current favorite sex toy and I hope you're talking about my phone on the nightstand."

"Yes, I am talking about your phone. What do you mean current? You have others?"

"Only your hands. And your…why is it always when we have other plans that I get turned on, hm?" Alex stood, giving a twirl. "Do you like my top?"

Olivia stood, backing her against the wall and kissing her lightly. "You look very beautiful. I'm still waiting to see everything, but I'll keep waiting. I just wish you were comfortable enough around me..."

"I have a feeling I might be tonight," Alex whispered, jumping when Georgia charged into the room, ice cream still around her mouth, to show Liz, who'd just arrived, her new chest of drawers.

Olivia smiled, turning to the side. "I see she's already dragging you everywhere."

"This…is…beautiful! Where did you get it?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "From a shop..."

"It was the last one," Alex added, "and she just couldn't wait to get it."

* * *

Georgia had taken an instant liking to Liz, and sat with her the whole evening. It seemed the feeling was mutual, and they discussed just about every subject, Georgia even getting Liz to agree to take her to the zoo and for a sleepover.

Olivia smiled. "It sounds like you'll have fun."

"Kathy," Alex asked, "what's your take on a glass of red wine? I've heard positive and negative."

Kathy gave a shrug. "I've had a small glass with a couple of mine, but, as yours has been a bit risky, I'd probably leave it to the professionals." She glanced at Liz, on her third glass.

Olivia nodded. "Or me. I'll drink enough for the both of us. I owe Elliot a beer apparently."

Both Alex and Kathy groaned, leaving them to it as they went to talk to other people.

Olivia walked over, standing beside him. "Not too bad."

"I do have experience with this sort of thing. Is it legal to wear a top like that when you're pregnant? God, she looks good."

Olivia smiled, clearing her throat. "She knows it's one of my favorites..."

"It's one of my favorites too. And Simon's by the look of it."

She nodded. "Yeah, he...mentioned that. I think I see green, but I can push it away. It's not like I have competition from the two of you."

"Oh, you're sure about that, are you?"

She smiled. "Well, based on the fact that your wife is pregnant with your 6th kid, yeah. And, as for Simon, well...I'd say our M.E. is more his type."

"You know she got her hair done before she came over the other day and asked me all about him?"

"Melinda? What'd you tell her?"

"I told her to talk to him about it. She should be here soon."

"Should be interesting. What time is it?"

"Half past 7 ish. Time for presents?"

"Mmmm, should we wait for her?"

"We could, but Georgia looks like she's about to fall asleep and she'll kill us if she misses out."

Olivia walked over to the kid. "Hey, you wanna stay awake for presents, don't you?"

She gave a nod, but yawned, resting her head on Alex's shoulder and her arm over the bump.

"Alex, I think you should start on gifts so she can see some," Olivia said, pulling a few toward her.

Alex pulled her to sit beside her, then began unwrapping the gifts.

* * *

Olivia smiled. "Well, I'd call this a success. Would you like another glass?" she asked Liz, glancing at the clock. "Hold that thought actually. Should probably get the child in bed. It's late for her." She walked over. "Alex, we should put her to bed now."

Alex continued to stroke Georgia's hair, then dropped a kiss to her forehead. "Just leave her. She's okay."

"But you can't sit like this forever. Are you sure?" she asked, grabbing the wine bottle.

Alex gave nod. "I'll let you know if I need you."

Olivia nodded, kissing the top of her head as she walked back over to Liz.

She sat with Liz until everyone was ready to leave, finding she actually had a lot to talk about with the older woman. When finally everyone had gone, she surveyed the room, from Simon, asleep on the couch, to the floor covered in wrapping paper, to Georgia, still asleep in Alex's arms, and Alex...

Olivia grabbed her from her arms and gently laid her in bed, despite Alex's protests that she was fine there. She walked back out, sitting beside her. "Should we go to bed?"

Alex shook her head, rubbing her belly. "I have…a funny feeling."

"What kind of feeling?" she asked concerned. "Should we call an ambulance? What's the matter?"

Alex shook her head. "No I just...it feels...I don't know how to explain it."

"Are you sure?"

Alex pulled Olivia to sit with her, putting her hands on her belly. After sitting quietly for a while, she sighed. "I feel so much better now. I feel…more like myself."

"What do you mean?"

"Seeing everyone, taking to them, about serious things, and about normal life. I feel...more like Alex than the pregnant woman everyone has to look after."

"I get worried about you and...after all that's happened…"

"I know. And I don't mind. But I like to talk about other things sometimes too. Like how good you look in those jeans."

She smiled. "Oh really? Care to see me out of them?"

Alex nodded, caressing Olivia's thigh. "But you're going to have to help me up. My legs have gone to sleep."

Olivia stood, draping Alex's arm over her shoulder. "Are you feeling better? If you are and still up to that offer...?"

"I don't feel bad...I just feel..." Alex sighed. "I really don't know how to explain it. It's...it's like...before…I wanted a baby, I loved the baby…but I didn't want to have to carry the baby, i resented it a bit. Now suddenly…I feel good. I suddenly feel right in my body."

Olivia sat her on their bed, walking over and closing and locking the door before sitting beside her again. "Like you don't worry so much about every little thing?" she nuzzled her neck. "Like you know I'd do anything to make you happy?" she kissed her neck.

"I already knew that."

"But you never say anything."

"Because I'd do anything to make you happy, and that includes not burdening you with every thought I have when you already have your own worries. Now, do you want me to take this top off or do you want to chat all evening?"

She smiled, kissing her deeply, "I thought you'd never ask."

Instead of letting Olivia do most of the work, this time Alex joined in, giggling and parading for Olivia.

Olivia stood in front of her, kissing up her belly, between her breasts, before pulling her to her. "Have I told you how much I love that this is our baby?"

"Mhm, but you can tell me again if you like?"

"You were already a stunning beauty with crystal eyes and angel hair, but I don't think you've ever looked more beautiful. You're so calm and happy and...no one's ever looked more beautiful. I love the way you smile, the way you laugh, the sound of your voice, the little miracle that likes to keep you up at night. I bet she'll be just as beautiful. God Alex, if we weren't married I think I'd ask you now. I love you so, so, SO much!" She wrapped her arms around her, kissing passionately and waiting for Alex to prod them on if she chose.

She suddenly felt something she hadn't felt in a long while, Alex fully pressing against her, her bra slipping down between them.

Olivia smiled, pulling them toward the bed. "You're so warm, my love. So...perfect."

Alex stopped Olivia from pulling her onto the bed, allowing her to lie down before turning in a slow circle for her.

Olivia smiled, pulling her into her arms and kissing her, her hands trailing her back as she moaned into her lips. "I love you like this, I do, but I must say I'll love you even more when I can pull you down on top of me. I do miss that, but only that."

"I miss being able to move into strange positions while your tongue is doing amazing things instead of just lying here like a beached whale…with GIANT breasts."

"Really, I'll never see those breasts as a bad thing and you'll be able to move soon enough, though I can't say either one of us will have the energy for a while. May I?" she asked, staring at a pert nipple.

"I can't guarantee you won't get a...uh...mouthful?"

She smiled, sucking bit by bit, before releasing it and kissing all around it and doing the same with the other, before kneading them gently.

Alex moved her head back, her eyes drifting shut. She didn't notice as slowly, then in a squirt, the milk hit Olivia.

She smiled, wiping it from her cheek and kissing her. "Toy or no? It's your choice."

"Just you." Alex lowered her head and groaned, wiping her chest a little. "I can't wait to have someone to get rid of all this. They're so sore."

"I can keep rubbing if that makes you feel any better."

Alex shook her head. "Your hands are needed elsewhere, Benson."

"So...where exactly are these hands needed, _Benson_?"

Alex smiled, moving to her knees. "You pick. Much as I'd love to be adventurous, I think I might just lie back while you do all the work."

"Lie back and let me lick you out until you gush all over me, hot and warm? Feel me lick you up and go for seconds?"

Alex groaned and crawled forward before lying down. "Yes please."

"Gonna spread?"

"You do it. I'm pregnant."

She smiled. "Whine, whine, whine..." she hovered over her, kissing her sweetly."I'm kidding. I don't mind," she said, gently spreading Alex's legs apart. Leaning down, she began to kiss and nip, feeling Alex jump.

"You should t-try it sometime. S-so sensitive."

Olivia let up, simply licking and sucking lightly, hands rubbing Alex's calves.

Alex said her name softly, tugging her hair.

Olivia sucked with a little more force before two fingers ventured in, waiting.

Alex said her name again, pulling her hair harder, more urgently.

Olivia began to thrust her fingers in and out of her as she rolled onto her side, scooting back up to her ear. "How's that feel, baby?"

Alex nodded her head, breath catching in her throat as she tried to speak. Suddenly Olivia felt Alex's hand between her own legs.

"Ohhh, God! A-Alex! M-more! Harder!"

Alex captured her lips, nibbling them, trying to quiet her.

Olivia kissed her deeply, her fingers increasing in speed.

Every time Olivia increased, Alex increased, matching her pace.

Olivia slowed down a bit, enjoying the feel of the warmth. She felt so good. Loved her so much. Wanted nothing more than... Her speed increased again, moaning her name into her lips.

Alex gasped, her thighs tightening around Olivia's arm.

Olivia went faster and faster, feeling Alex begin to quiver against her.

Alex's hand went still inside her as she moaned into her shoulder, then arched into her, pushing Olivia away with her stomach, moaning when it forced Olivia's hand from her.

Olivia pressed into her again a bit. "M-more?"

Alex nodded, but as soon as Olivia applied more pressure, she fell over the edge, waves flowing over her body, her fingers in Olivia involuntarily moving.

Olivia buried her head into Alex's neck. "More baby more," she moaned.

As Alex began to cool down, her fingers began to move faster, capturing Olivia's lips.

Olivia's hips thrust hard up into her hand, moaning.

After a few seconds, Alex's mouth disappeared from hers, and suddenly she felt something she hadn't felt in months, Alex's mouth between her legs.

She moaned into her pillow loudly, her fingers raking through her hair as her breathing sped up.

Alex did everything she knew Olivia liked, hoping she would be quick, her body aching now to sleep.

Olivia's hips rose faster and faster. "ALEX!" she screamed into her pillow uncontrollably as she felt it gushing into Alex's awaiting mouth.

When Alex returned to the pillow, breathless, she smiled. "I hope you enjoyed that because I don't think I'll be able to manage it for a long time."

Olivia rolled onto her side, pulling her close. "I-it was unexpected...wonderfully unexpected, I love you."

Alex smiled, brushing hair from her face, "Enough for a backrub?"

She kissed her. "Of course. Does it hurt?"

Alex nodded, sticking out her bottom lip. As Olivia began massaging, she gave a moan, and soon fell into a light sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Can I ask some of you to check out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14, jba42 & deadlockQ

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	29. Perfection

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 29: Perfection**

_Two months later…_

Alex stared at her phone. Olivia had promised she'd call an hour ago, but she'd heard nothing. She'd even tried Elliot's phone. She'd promised she'd only be at the precinct for a couple of hours and then call when she was on her way home. Making a decision, Alex stood and pulled on her jacket, grabbing her keys before walking out of the apartment.

She was on the steps to go in when she was nearly brought to her knees, again. It'd happened about an hour ago and had been steadily increasing. Though she knew exactly what it was and that she, desperately, needed to get to a hospital, she wanted to wait for Olivia, but she didn't know how much longer she could wait.

A man appeared by her side, grabbing her arm. "Ma'am, are you ok?"

All she could do was utter Olivia's name, "Olivia. Benson."

"I-I've heard the name, but I don't know her."

"I need her." Alex regained her breath and straightened, grabbing his shirt.

Just as he held up his hands, Melinda and Simon walked into the room.

"What's—" she got a look at the front of her dress. "Oh no!"

Simon looked at her. "—and she came looking?"

She nodded, rushing up, and taking her. "Simon, go! Honey, we need to get you to the hospital!"

"I need Olivia!

"Yes and we'll find her. I promise, but you need to try to calm down. Call a bus!"

"I'm not going anywhere without her!"

"Honey, you may have to! Try to think! How long ago did it happen?"

"…An hour, I think. Where is she? She said she was coming here then straight home!"

"They got side-tracked by another case. I'm sure they're on their way, but you need to go to a hospital."

"Why hasn't she answered her pho…ah!"

"It's going to be okay. I don't know, but we'll find them. Is there anybody else we could call for emotional support?"

"I want Olivia!"

Simon ran back in. "They're on their way. I-I figured I could run f-faster. Alex, they are coming."

"Well, I'm staying here until she gets here!"

Melinda wiped a few tears away. "It's not safe to just lay here, but the crib is up all those stairs..."

"Then I'll go up the stairs, and if anything happens, it's her fault!"

Melinda shook her head. "Simon, grab as many towels as you can find. She's not that close, but she needs a clean spot to—" Before she could finish her sentence, Olivia's voice rang through the doors. "Alex!"

Alex bent double with another contraction before she could reply.

Olivia ran over, pulling her into her arms. "Did someone call?"

"They should've," Melinda said.

"It's going to be fine, Alex, I promise. Will somebody check on that? Now!"

When the feeling had passed, Alex pushed Olivia. "You said you'd be here, in the office, then you'd come straight home! You lied to me!"

Olivia sighed. "I tried to rush right back, but there was a car accident. We had to wait. You know I would've been back here. I...I've got no idea where my phone is..."

Alex pushed her again, then pulled her close as another contraction hit.

"If you were held up by the accident… They're really close together, Liv..." Melinda looked concerned.

"Is there any chance we'd be able to make it? Shh, it's going to be fine, Lex. I'm here. I'm here."

Elliot appeared by her side. "They've shut off the whole freeway. Bus is going to be another 20, at the least."

Olivia looked at Melinda. "We've got to get her to a bed. Can you do this?"

Melinda looked hesitant. "I haven't done this since grad school, I-"

Alex cried out as another pain hit her.

She suddenly remembered, turning to him. "You've delivered four out of five kids. You'll have to help Melinda, but first we need to get her into a bed."

* * *

Five minutes later, they were in the crib, Alex on the bed, Elliot and Melinda down one end and Olivia down the other, Simon finding what he could for them.

Olivia wiped her face with a tissue. "You're doing great, Lex. Just try to stay calm. I'm not leaving."

"Why did you go out? You said you were going to stay here, you said you wouldn't go anywhere, just come in and then come home!" Alex gasped and cried out again.

Melinda squeezed her knee. "Ok, next time, you're going to push."

"Honey, they needed my help. It was...I just couldn't ignore it. But I'm here now. And soon we'll have a brand new, beautiful little girl."

"And I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP?!" She pushed as the pain hit, holding Olivia's hand so hard it felt like it would break.

Olivia took her hand in both. "That's it, that's it."

Alex held tightly again, breathing how she'd been told to, her eyes seeking Olivia's for reassurance. When she found it, she cried out again as another contraction hit, once more almost breaking Olivia's hand.

"That's it, almost there. A couple more pushes."

"A-A-Alex...in-in between, can you loosen your grip, please?"

"You think your hand hurts? Try pushing a head out through your ...ooooohhhh!"

Olivia held her hand, pressing a kiss in the middle of a tear stream. "Come on, we're getting closer. I know you can do this."

The baby arrived just as the paramedics did. Alex rested her head back with relief as the baby let out a scream.

Olivia pulled Alex close, kissing her temple. "She perfect," she decided, "just like her mommy."

"Do you want to cut the cord?"

She nodded, making her way to the foot of the bed.

The paramedics handed her an implement, and once she'd cut the cord, they wrapped a blanket around the pink little girl, handing her to Olivia. As she always seemed to when in the womb, as soon as Olivia held her, she went quiet.

Olivia smiled, sitting next to a now-sleeping Alex. "Hi, baby girl, you look so sweet!" she kissed her forehead.

The baby's hand brushed against her face and then attempted to suckle against her top. Elliot put his hand on her shoulder. "So, what's her name?"

"Well, Alex wanted something unique but still within the family and though I still feel its a bit odd...when I said it, she instantly responded," she held her close, "Hi Serena. God that feels weird, but... I don't know. I guess it's a way to keep a piece of her with me."

The baby attempted to suckle again and Elliot chuckled. "Looks like little Serena is hungry. They want to take the two of them in to check them over."

"And Alex?"

"I said two of them, Olivia. Alex and the baby. I think you've got new mummy brain." He smiled down at the baby and stroked her head as Alex's eyes flickered open.

Olivia sat beside her, sitting her up. "Say hi to Mommy, Serena."

Alex smiled at her, tears shining in her eyes, then falling as Olivia handed the baby to her. She whispered "Hello" to her and dropped a kiss to her head.

"Alex, the paramedics want to get you two checked out, okay?" But even as she said that, she didn't make a move, just wrapped her arms around her and laid her head on her shoulder, smiling.

* * *

Olivia travelled with them to the hospital, and then was left outside a room for a short while as the doctor checked them both over. When Olivia was allowed back in, a nurse was standing over Alex, guiding her gently as she attempted to breast feed Serena.

Olivia smiled. "I think that's the best image I've seen in a long time," she said, pulling a chair up beside them. "Wow, didn't notice that before. Excuse me, when you have a moment may I have an ice pack?" she asked, seeing her hand was black and blue and slightly puffy.

As the nurse left, Alex gave a soft laugh. "I'm so sorry."

Olivia shrugged. "Don't worry. You two are what matters. How are you feeling?"

"Sore. And Amazing." She looked down at Serena.

Olivia moved to sit beside her, kissing her cheek. "And I am sorry I wasn't home. You could've avoided so much..."

"It's all ok now." She dropped a kiss to Serena's head as she suckled. "Have you called Simon to pick up Georgia? The doctor said I have to stay overnight."

"He went to grab her when the paramedics came. They should be here soon. She's the cutest baby I've ever seen!" she said, wrapping one arm around Alex, while the other was being held captive by Serena's strong grip.

By the time Georgia arrived, Serena was asleep in a cot next to Alex, and Alex was almost asleep too, her head resting on Olivia's shoulder. Georgia walked in quietly and peered into the crib, and it was only when she spoke that Olivia noticed her, "Hello. I'm your big sister and I'm going to look after you."

Olivia smiled. "Sshh."

Georgia climbed onto Olivia's knee, and they all sat in silence for a long time, a perfect little family

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Can I ask some of you to check out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	30. Followed

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 30: Followed**

The next week had been rough, on everyone in the house. Serena, as all newborns did, screamed whenever she wasn't being held. Olivia had quickly found out that, perhaps, she'd bonded strongly with her early on because, still, no matter how upset the infant was, the instant she picked her up, to hold or rock her, she was quiet.

Alex was, of course, exhausted from the cries and late night/early morning feedings, but Olivia knew she'd never explicitly complain. She'd seen it. Once the baby was in her arms for the first time, all the worries she'd had about whether she'd be any good at it ceased. Neither of them could be happier and Georgia got especially excited when she could hold her of help Alex or Olivia rock her to sleep. She loved her already.

Now though, Olivia sat in bed, in a t-shirt and not much else, sliding back under the covers at 4am. The second the baby had finished nursing, Alex had fallen asleep, as had been common over the past week, so she'd just laid her in her cot before going back to bed. She laid down, wrapping an arm around Alex, who whimpered a bit from the soreness from the child's feeding. Olivia moved her arm to Alex's stomach, kissing her cheek.

Alex's hand wrapped around Olivia's arm with a sigh and snuggled into it, murmuring her name, but not waking.

Olivia pulled her closer. "I love you," she whispered in her ear.

Alex gave a happy sigh and dropped a kiss to Olivia's arm, but then groaned when Serena began crying again.

Olivia kissed her cheek, slipping her arm from hers. "I've got her. You sleep." She walked into the nursery, picking her up and she quieted easily. "What's the matter, huh? What's going on?" she picked the pacifier up from the floor, wiping it on her clean shirt and popping it into the child's mouth before sitting in the rocker.

Serena stared up at her with wide eyes that slowly began to close as Olivia rocked her, but every time Olivia moved, they eyes would open wide once more, staring up at her like she could see into her soul.

"Awww! You don't want me to go, do you? I can stay. It's okay... Be a good girl and sleep."

Serena's hand once more held one of Olivia's fingers in an impossibly tight grip, and her eyelids grew heavy. Olivia sat with her for what seemed like hours, just watching her sleep, and when she returned to Alex, lying on her back, spread out of the bed with her hair in a tangle, she felt tears on her face.

Olivia walked over sitting on the bed. "Alex."

Alex's eyes flickered open, and she went to sit up. "Does she need a feed?"

Olivia shook her head, wrapping her arms around her. "I have a horrible feeling...I wish it would go away."

Alex dropped a kiss to her cheek, feeling the tears and kissing them away.

Olivia hugged her tighter, shaking a bit, burying her head in her neck. "L-like I...won't be able to stop whatever's about to happen."

"Nothing is going to happen, Liv. What could happen? Everything is perfect."

"But nothing ever stays that way! I just...please don't go."

"I'm not, I promise. You're just thinking like that because you're exhausted. We both are. Come to bed." She pulled Olivia further into the bed, pulling the blankets over her and holding her tightly in her arms.

Olivia sighed, relaxing a bit, but tears still fell. "Help me..."

Alex held her tightly and kissed her face, reassuring her how much she loved her until her tears stopped and they both fell into a fitful, light sleep.

* * *

Hours later, a knock on the door woke her. Olivia maneuvered from her arms, instinctively grabbing her piece, as she slipped on some jeans and walked out to answer. "Who is it?"

"My name's Tom. I've come to fix your heating system?"

She pulled the door open, her piece behind her back. "I don't remember calling for anything."

"The apartment maintenance guy…ah…Jim? Called. Scottish?" He handed her the paperwork.

She thumbed through it. "Oh, he must've done a walk-through while I was out and Alex forgot to tell me. Please come in," she stepped aside.

He walked in, stopping dead in front of a photo of Alex, recognition flitting over his face. "Pretty."

Olivia closed the door, still hiding it. "Yes, she is," she said, "the heater is over by the kitchen. Excuse me one moment." She walked back into the bedroom, seeing Alex sitting up in bed. "It's just a repairman to fix our heater. You didn't tell me maintenance stopped by while I was out."

Alex yawned, waving her hand. "Sorry. The day I got home. You went out to get...something. Jim was sleazy as usual. The heater isn't producing at 100%, apparently."

Olivia nodded. "It's okay. Why don't you get dressed, come out and I'll put on some coffee?"

Alex nodded, yawning again, then reached out to pull Olivia towards her. "Are you feeling better after last night?"

"Oh yeah, but...still something feels off. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe I'm losing my edge from sleep deprivation."

Alex smiled, pulling her down for a kiss. "You'll never lose your edge. You'll still be arresting people in an old people's home."

The slamming of the front door made both of them jump.

"What the—?" Gun raised she made her way out into the living room.

The workman had disappeared, along with all his tools.

One of Serena's toys from her cot had been thrown angrily on the floor near the door.

Walking over, she noticed Serena was gone. Her mind instantly panicked, but then she heard wailing from inside the closet.

Alex, pushing open the door, went to push back the clothes, but stepped back when short legs kicked out at her.

"Go away!"

Olivia walked over, getting on her knees after flipping the lights on. Her arm around Alex. "Sweetie, it's us. Do you have baby Serena with you? We're really worried about her."

A moment later, her face peered out from the dark. "Has the bad man gone? I know I'm not supposed to pick her up by myself, but..."

"What bad man?" Olivia asked

"With the bag. He went to pick her up, but she started to cry, so he went to the kitchen were you left out that pack of dummies. I grabbed her. I've seen him in the park, watching Alex."

Alex picked up the screaming baby, walking around to try to quiet her.

"What did you think he was going to do?"

"He was going to take her. He said he was going to take her! Did I do bad?"

Olivia shook her head. "Alex, sit with Serena and Georgia in the rocker and don't touch anything. I need to make a call." She walked out, pulling out her cell, dialing Elliot's.

Alex stood next to her, pulling the phone from her hand and hanging up. "What did he look like? What did this…guy look like?"

Olivia wrapped her arm around her, picking Georgia up with the other.

"Olivia? What did he look like?"

She sighed. "Mid-twenties, medium build and height, cropped blond hair, green eyes, scar on his right cheek and what looked to be acid burns on his neck. Said his name was Tom. Alex...why? What...does this mean something to you?" she asked as she saw her eyes fill with tears.

Alex sat gently on the couch, holding Serena close to her. As she dropped a kiss to her head, Serena squirmed, blowing bubbles. "He was the one who…he…Olivia, he's found me."

Olivia pulled her close, kissing her cheek. "Give me my phone. I'll see what I can find out."

Alex handed it back to her, gently reassuring Georgia when she asked once more if she'd done the right thing. As Olivia spoke to Elliot, Serena began to cry, hungry, but Alex just stared at the wall.

"Elliot, I really don't know how he found her. Unless our maintenance guy knows something we don't." She walked out with a blanket, handing it to Alex. "She's hungry." She turned away again. "When I walked back into the room, one of Serena's toys had been thrown against the wall. I don't know if he's smart enough to wear gloves, but..." she turned back, seeing Alex a mess, trying to feed her, but being extremely unsuccessful in her current state. "Elliot, I need to tend to Alex. Can you come over or get someone? We need to get out of here, or catch him quickly," she said sitting beside Alex, who was crying as she pulled her into her arms.

* * *

By the time Elliot arrived, Alex had finally began feeding properly, and Georgia was sitting next to her, holding onto one of her arms, still dressed in her pajamas. He glanced towards them before pulling Olivia aside. "I've got crime scene on the way. Maybe...go out for the day? Or a hotel...if he wasn't expecting Alex to live here, I doubt he wore gloves, but just for the day. I would suggest my place, but a few of the kids are home sick."

"What about Liz's? I'd feel more comfortable going to a house instead of a hotel. Can...you ask and I'll see what I can do about getting them ready to go?"

He gave a nod. "I'll call her. Just…try not to touch anywhere you think he went, you know the drill."

Nodding, she walked over. "Okay, we're going out for the day. It's going to be okay. I'll go grab a few things from the nursery. Then I'll take Georgia in to get a fresh set of clothes," she took Alex's trembling hand, "we're going to figure this out and we're going to get him," she brought her hand up to her lips, kissing it, "I promise." She let go and walked into the nursery.

She took the spare diaper bag, being careful to pack it with things she doubted he touched, and slung it over her shoulder, along with one more blanket before walking back out and setting it next to Alex. She looked at Georgia. "Ready to go get dressed?"

"...will you come with me?"

She nodded, picking her up. "And then we'll go pick out Alex's clothes while she feeds Serena, okay?"

* * *

Half an hour later, they were on the way to Liz's. Elliot was deriving, and everyone was silent except for Serena who gurgled happily in her car seat.

Olivia saw Georgia was asleep in Alex's lap, so she quietly asked, "How much do you know about him? Why target kids?"

Alex sighed. "It's not kids. It's Serena. And me. He said if he didn't the first time, he'd come back."

"Did you...prosecute him on something? Why you?"

Elliot was the one to reply this time, quietly, "He's been targeting pregnant women for the last year. It seems like maybe Alex is just the first one he's seen again. At least, hopefully."

"H-how far has he...?"

He glanced at Olivia, then looked in the rearview mirror at Alex, before mouthing to Olivia, "Dead."

Olivia sighed. "And this, if anything, proves why I trust my gut."

Alex sighed as they pulled up outside Liz's house, but managed to give Olivia a smile when she looked at her. "You do realize this place is full of alcohol?"

She nodded. "I would rather be here than a hotel. Besides, Georgia will have fun."

"Because she'll be drunk."

"What's drunk?" Georgia asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

"I think Liz has more sense than to give a 6-year-old alcohol. Have a little faith in her."

* * *

As soon as they were inside, Liz offered Georgia VODKA. When she saw Olivia's face, she rolled her eyes. "It's just water. I couldn't find another empty bottle for it."

"Don't you have any plain glasses?"

"Broken."

Alex flinched as she watched her daughter drink from a bottle of vodka, licking her lips.

Olivia guided Alex to the couch as Alex pulled Serena into her arms.

Serena's eyes were heavy, but every time someone spoke, she'd open they'd again, looking around for a moment.

Liz sat with Georgia, telling her about everything that was in the room, refusing to ask any questions until one of the women offered information on why they were here.

All Elliot had said was that they needed somewhere for the day.

Olivia suddenly looked up. "Is there a spare room we can lay her in to sleep?"

"Umm, well, I...there's…I guess so." She stood, leading them up the stairs, and blushed when a young man with tousled hair and tight white underwear walked from one of the bedrooms.

Olivia picked Georgia up, covering her eyes as they walked. "He's a friend," she told her. "Who's...very good looking," she muttered under her breath.

Alex elbowed her in the ribs, raising an eyebrow.

Olivia gave a lopsided grin. "But not as good looking as you."

"Thank you."

Liz stopped outside a bedroom, opening the door and blushing once more as they saw the cot and baby and children's toys inside.

"What's all this?" they asked as they walked into the room.

"I just…you know…you said…sometime she could stay…so I..."

Alex tended to Serena while Georgia dug in the toys. "It's fine. I'm surprised. You don't seem like the 'type' to actually do this for kids. By the way," she pulled her from the room, "where the hell did you find a guy like that? I'm not looking, never! Just...curious."

"He ahh..was the delivery guy for the cot."

She nodded. "Ah. Well, anyway," she looked into the room, "you guys okay in here?"

Georgia put a finger to her lips, frowning at her as she peered into the cot while Alex tucked in the blanket.

The man walked from the bathroom, giving Olivia a smile as he walked back into the bedroom.

Olivia nodded. "I suppose you're wondering why we're here?"

"A little. Elliot didn't explain a lot."

Georgia exited the room and hugged Olivia, smiling up at her. "I like having a sister. Can I have a brother next, please?"

Olivia laughed a bit, picking her up. "Maybe, you'll need to ask Alex. It probably won't be for a while yet," she hugged her tight, sitting her on her feet.

Alex walked out, shutting the door gently. "If we're interrupting your ahh….date, we can always go to a hotel or something, Liz."

"She's right. We certainly don't mean to intrude."

"It's fine. Make yourselves at home. I need to get to work, but he'll be leaving soon, anyway."

Olivia looked to Alex, who put a hand on Georgia's shoulder. Olivia then walked to Liz's bedroom door, standing in the frame. "I don't mean to... but, uh, you heard of that guy who's been targeting pregnant women for the past year?"

Liz gave a nod."The guy who put Alex in a hospital a few months ago?"

The guy, pulling his pants on, gave Olivia another smile.

She waved, absentmindedly, admiring his toned stomach as he pulled on his shirt. "Yeah," she told Liz, "well, I didn't see him. He stopped by this morning, claiming to be a repairman. Georgia saw him go for Serena. She said when he picked her up she started to cry, so he left the room and she, very bravely, grabbed her and hid in the closet. Alex and I didn't think anything of the guy...until we heard the front door slam. So the house is being processed and...Wow," she stammered as the guy stretched, showing a hardened six-pack.

Alex, having sent Georgia downstairs, was standing behind Olivia and cleared her throat loudly.

She jumped. "Oh! Alex! Geez!" she turned toward her. "Everything okay?"

Alex folded her arms and glared at her before turning to walk downstairs.

Olivia sighed. "I can't even argue," she told Liz as she went after her. "Alex!"

Alex continued to walk away. "I'm sorry my body just doesn't do it for you right now, but in case you've forgotten, I've just had your child, and in case you've also forgotten, we're not here to check out MEN, we're here because someone tried to kidnap that child."

Olivia hooked her arm. "That's not it, I promise! He was there when I got there and—" she sighed. "I'm sorry. You're the only one I'll ever want. I was talking to her about why we were here. He smiled, I just waved. I wasn't trying to—not hoping for anything. I love you, Serena and Georgia. It was just...he was there and I'm human... I really am sorry."

"Human. I see. So the fact that I'm married to you and I know you're the only one I'm attracted to so I don't look at other people like that makes me….what? An alien? Forget it. He's not after you, so you don't need to be here. You can go now."

Olivia, trying not to make too big of a scene, pressed her against the wall for a quick kiss and although she fought at first, the pain and fear Olivia felt at losing her hit her hard and she gave in. "I shouldn't have done it. You three are the most important people in my life. But Alex, if I had known he was there, I wouldn't have been standing there. I love you and only you. Forever. I...should've sensed something wasn't right about that guy, but..."

Alex still stared at her angrily but had stopped fighting against her. "How do you think it makes me feel, Olivia? I never thought you were interested in men. What, am I such a turn off now that I've put you off women altogether?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, but tell me exactly how you feel, so I can, at least, try to make you feel better. You'll always be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and, even if it takes the rest of my life, I swear, I will make it up to you. You're my girl."

"No, I'm not. I hate you." Angry at herself, at the man and the fear she thought she'd left in the past, she took her anger out on the only person who seemed to take it.

Olivia still stood there. "No, you don't. You're hurt, scared, vulnerable...and I never...Alex, I should've left the damn room, but I wanted to tell her why we were here. I had no right to make you feel worse. Go ahead, hit me," she said, "but I swear to you you're the only one I've ever been interested in. I knew something was wrong...I couldn't protect you...I..." tears began to cascade, "do what you have to. I don't care anymore!"

After a few seconds, Alex began hitting Olivia's chest, with fists and then open handed, but they barely touched, her body weak.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "I'm so, so sorry! Please, please!"

After several moments, Alex sunk into her, letting Olivia hold her tightly.

"Shh, shh, we're going to be okay. They'll get him. I love you, Alex, please believe that!"

Alex cried into her shirt.

Georgia had stayed on the couch while she heard them yelling, but now walked out hesitantly, face white.

Olivia turned. "Georgia...?"

"...Is Mommy ok?"

She sighed. "She will be, all of us will be, when we catch that bad man."

Georgia approached and sat on the stairs with them, watching silently until Liz walked down the stairs.

Olivia pulled Alex into her lap. "Who's prosecuting until Alex gets back?"

"New guy from white collar. Adam."

"But...when I decide to go back..." Alex began.

"He's only temporary."

Olivia smiled. "Good. I still do miss going to you for warrants...and being out on cases..."

Alex, having gained what comfort she could for now, pushed herself from Olivia, avoiding her eyes, she mumbled, "And checking out all the men, no doubt," before standing, taking Georgia's hand to walk back to the front room.

Olivia sighed.

Liz patted her arm awkwardly. "Hormones."

"God, I hope so. There's nothing she's got that I don't like. Though she thought I didn't care for...uh, well, being as you were scarred last time, maybe I shouldn't..."

"I feel like that's all you two ever talk about. Go on, tell me."

She sighed, rubbing the back of her head. "Yeah, sorry about that. Apparently, she had trouble with how big her chest had gotten and thought I wouldn't care for it."

"But you…prefer it?"

"I can say...I don't mind it, that I like it, though I thought she was perfect how she was, but prefer is...strong."

"I know I can barely look her in the eyes these days."

"I know, but I thought it was because she spilled too much to you, not from this. I understand why. The baby needs to eat and all, but I just wonder why she would think I wouldn't like it."

"I suppose because her body has changed so much. She used to be so secure and confident, now her whole life has changed along with her body."

She sighed. "That makes sense, but there's got to be another way to reassure her that things, even though they're different, aren't different between us..."

"That's where you'll have to work it out yourself. I need to get off to work." She handed Olivia some car keys. "Yes uh…in case you need to go out and get anything. I'll be back about 6ish, but if you leave before then, the front door keys are on there too."

She nodded, standing. "Thank you." She walked down to the front room, seeing Alex on the couch with Georgia.

Georgia looked up from the book they were reading to smile at her.

Olivia walked over and sat on the arm of the couch, next to Alex. "What are you reading?"

Georgia replied as Alex edged closer to her. "Where's Wally."

Olivia sighed, pushing the keys in her jeans' pocket. "Alex, can we talk a minute?"

Alex was silent for a moment before putting the book on Georgia's lap. "You try to find him on this page. I'll be back in a minute." She silently followed Olivia, arms folded.

"What's really bothering you? It can't only be...that."

"Can't only be what? You checking out a MAN in front of me? Commenting on his physique in FRONT of me? You think that's not enough to be upset about?"

"No, but you should know, better than anyone, that I don't go to work to check out men. What? I'm suddenly going to come on to a creep, risking not only my health and sanity, but also the best thing that's ever happened to me? I'm sorry! But you can't look at me and say, at least, one guy - ONE - has never turned your head since we've been together."

"Why would they?'

"Because everyone - as much as they hate to admit it - has a tendency to stare, no matter how committed. Whether it's from shock, lust, rage. What I'm trying to say is that I realize I made a mistake, but for the past eight years I've known you we've always been able to talk about anything. I know...you've changed. Our lives have changed, but that doesn't mean my love for you has. You said you trusted me. You must love me more or you wouldn't be this upset. I love you, only you. How can I prove it to you? It was...a reaction. If I lose you - all of you - I lose everything."

As she always did when trying for an argument, Alex only picked on one thing. "What do you mean I've changed? How have I changed? If you're talking about my body again…"

Olivia pushed her against the wall, her hands roaming her body. "I love your body, Lex. You're prefect and yes, for the baby, your body has changed, but I love how it's changed. I'm always going to love you and this drop-dead, sexy, steaming body," she whispered by her ear.

Alex closed her eyes, listening to the reassurances, but they didn't warm her heart like they normally did, and she folded her arms between them. "Then maybe you just want a dick."

Olivia held her tight. "If I ever do, you better be the one wearing it. I want you, just you. The most beautiful woman I'll ever see."

"...Have we finished talking now?"

She sighed. "I guess, so where do I stand with you?"

"Blocking me from getting away from you, at the moment."

"Alex..."

Serena began crying, and Alex stared hard at Olivia. "Are you going to stop me going to her?"

Olivia moved to the side. "Of course not. I'll call Elliot and help with the search, being as you don't want me here - in your life - anymore."

With no comment, Alex walked past her up the stairs, throwing a glare at the guy who was walking down.

He smiled at Olivia once more. "She's a happy one."

She sighed. "Yeah."

Alex calmed Serena down, dropping a kiss to her head and smiling as she gazed up at her with honey brown eyes. She looked into them for a moment before walking out the door with her. "…Olivia?"

She was waiting by the door. "What?"

"I don't…I just…I love you."

"Love me so much you won't even let me know what's bothering you, believe that I'm sorry for my mistake, let me make it up to you, or believe you're the only woman who matters to me?"

"..I'm scared, Liv. He said he'd come back and now he has. I wanted to push you away and…you just gave me a way to do it. I know you don't want anyone else, I'm just...can't our life ever be just calm?"

Olivia walked over, sitting on the stairs with her. "I know you're scared, but how do you think it makes me feel when you won't even let me try to make up for a mistake that could – eventually – make you feel worse? Alex, our jobs – the ones we love – will never make our lives be calm. They give us insight and purpose, make us strong. We make each other's lives calm. Just knowing that I couldn't protect you...again..."

Serena gurgled and reached out for Olivia, tugging on her hair.

Alex rested her head on Olivia's shoulder, then kissed her cheek, and then dropped a gentle kiss to her mouth.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, deepening it.

As Alex lifted a hand to stroke Olivia's cheek gently, Serena attempted to give Olivia's nipple a suckle through her shirt. When she got nothing, she tried harder.

Olivia pulled away. "I think somebody's hungry." She looked down. "Sorry sweetie, Mama has no milk, but Mommy does."

Serena whimpered, wanting to go to Olivia, attempting out more to get something from her.

Olivia looked at Alex. "You know, if we position her between us just right, it could work, but..."

"Whatever we do, I'm not doing it on the stairs in a house with a strange man who you fancy."

"I don't fan— but I didn't even mean that."

Serena finally gave a loud wail, hungry and sick of seeing all these things she knew would give her food, but being unable to get any.

Olivia kissed Alex's cheek, before going up to grab a blanket. Walking down the stairs, she hooked her arm, leading her back into the living room and closing the curtains.

Alex motioned for Olivia to sit down first, then sat between her legs. Placing the blanket over her shoulder, and the baby's head, she allowed Olivia to do the work. Stroking Serena's head and guiding her to the nipple. Turning her head burying it into Olivia's neck, it was Olivia's eyes Serena gazed into as she drank intently.

"Genius," she said with a smile. "So, can I try to make up for it? Take you for a nice dinner somewhere...maybe?"

"I don't want to leave the kids at home for a while after this morning."

She nodded. "I understand, but...sometime?"

"Maybe."

Liz's toyboy walked into the room and made Georgia gasp before racing to sit next to the Olivia on the arm of the chair.

"Hello. How are you?" she asked, holding tightly to Alex not making much eye contact with him.

"Hi. Ah...I'm just making breakfast. Would anyone like any?"

Always thinking of her stomach, Georgia hesitated, glancing at Olivia and Alex.

Olivia nodded. "That would be great. What are you making?"

"Anything really. Limited only by what Liz has. I'm a chef."

Olivia looked to Alex, grinning. "Ohh, he cooks!"

"But I know where to bite you to make you come in 3 seconds flat." Alex whispered in her ear.

Olivia swallowed most of the moan in her throat. "Mhm. What do you want Georgia?"

"...French Toast?" She asked hopefully.

Serena grumbled, losing touch with Alex and searching once more, her little pink mouth milky.

Olivia cupped her head and reattached the child to "her". "French toast sounds great! Alex?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Alex, you need to eat. Not even toast?"

Alex shook her head. "I'll make my own later."

Olivia nodded. "Two orders of French toast please."

* * *

The rest of the day was spent uncomfortably, Alex clamming up as soon as the guy came anywhere near them, but he kept appearing, even sitting with them for a while.

Elliot kept Olivia up to date, telling her they had the guy's ID and were looking for him.

Finally, at around 5pm, the guy left, saying goodbye to Georgia and giving Olivia his card and a smile.

Olivia, Alex and Serena sat in the same chair from earlier, Alex lying in her lap with Serena napping on her chest and Georgia reading a book when Liz returned.

She dumped her briefcase loudly on the floor. "Heard anything?"

Olivia nodded as Alex moved to go put Serena upstairs, Georgia following. "They have the guy's ID and are looking for him."

She gave a nod before gesturing to where the others had gone. "Sorted everything out?

"Mostly, though, even I have to admit, I was ready to join the search, but then she walked downstairs and told me what was really wrong as Serena tried to feed of my shirt, then got frustrated when she couldn't get anything. It's...been a day. So, he didn't really bring the cot, did he? He said he was a chef and made us breakfast."

Liz gave a smile. "Just because you two like to tell me everything, doesn't mean I'm going to spill everything. I'm going upstairs for a shower, then, perhaps, we can order some dinner, if you're staying the night."

She nodded. "Agreed. Your private life is yours, ours is ours, but he is a great cook. Yeah, I think we might end up staying the night. That's not an inconvenience, is it?"

"I'm sure it'll be fine, as long as you don't get up to any funny business, I don't want to be hearing it as well as knowing all about it." She offered a rare smile before leaving the room.

Olivia smiled. Whatever thought she'd had of that this morning had vanished hours ago. She was just grateful to Alex for forgiving her.

Alex returned alone a few minutes later. "Georgia decided to have a nap too. She said Wally has exhausted her."

Olivia smiled, patting the spot she'd been sitting at, wrapping her arms around her as she sat, rubbing her belly, which had reduced greatly of course, but still held a bit. "I promised your boss we wouldn't...she doesn't want to know and hear about it, but I, honestly, don't care about that at the moment. I'm just glad to still be here."

"Good, because I don't think I can ever, _ever_ have sex ever again. I'm still sore."

She smiled. "Really? You wouldn't want your shoulders down ever again? Though I can understand wanting to wait a while. That's okay."

"No waiting. No more. Ever again. Even if you flex your muscles."

"Ah, someday, you'll regret that, but oh well. I'll just have to resort to...other methods."

"Muscly men?"Alex asked quietly.

"Of course not. Maybe some battery-operated devices, with you in mind..." she whispered in her ear. "Haven't had to use those for a _long_ time."

Despite her earlier comments, and her lack of desire since giving birth, she felt a familiar tingle. "...What...would you think of?"

"Your lips on my neck, kissing and sucking down my body, rubbing everywhere, massaging my breasts in slow circles, kissing them and, then of course, there's that spot your tongue loves to lap at..."

Alex's breath caught in her throat, and she tipped her head back a little. "M-maybe...not never."

Olivia smiled, kissing her gently on the lips. "I do understand though. Your body needs a while to recover from that intense pain, but I'll be here, waiting for you."

"For as long as it takes?"

"Yes, as long as you don't mind if I need to use..."

"Just because I don't want anything, doesn't mean I won't help you out."

"Really? 'Cause, you know, helping me might, uh..."

"Oh, you think you're that hot, do you?" Alex smiled up at her, capturing her lips.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, kissing her softly.

Olivia's phone rang loudly. Groaning, she held Alex to her answering. "Benson."

"We've got him."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"We have the guy who was in your flat this morning. But I'd like Alex to come in for an ID parade to see if it's the same guy who attacked her."

Olivia nodded. "The kids are sleeping anyway and Liz just got home. I'm sure she could watch them for a bit."

* * *

When Olivia asked Alex, she panicked, refusing, paced the room, cried, yelled at Olivia and hit out at her again. By the time Liz came back downstairs, they were sitting separately once more, Alex with red eyes and Olivia looked uncomfortable. She agreed, hesitantly, to look after the children when Olivia asked her.

Olivia then walked over to her, kneeing in front of her. "Alex..." She rested a hand on hers. "I won't leave your side, but if we do this, we can try to move forward."

Alex didn't talk to her until they reached the station and Elliot looked apologetic. "Olivia can't come in. She saw him this morning. She might give you a hint or something without realizing it. I'm sorry."

Alex turned to Olivia with tears shining in her eyes.

Olivia hugged her tightly. "I'll be right here. Go with Elliot. If he doesn't protect you, I can guarantee he won't be making any more babies. Trust me."

Alex looked unsure, but followed him in, with one last glance towards her, fear in her eyes.

Olivia nodded, trying to smile reassuringly.

Five minutes later, Alex walked out quickly, arms folded and head down. She walked past Olivia, shrugging her off and walking into the bathroom.

Elliot followed her out. "She ID'd him."

She nodded. "Good. Can I go after her now?"

"Liv…she asked them to say a phrase, for voice recognition. She asked...she asked for them to say 'Fuck me harder'."

She ran a hand over her face. "He-he raped her? I feel blind...I-I didn't see those signs...I..." she fell against him, but stayed conscious. "God!"

"She would know you'd be look, Liv. Don't blame yourself. No one noticed, or they blamed her moods on her pregnancy hormones. It's not your fault. Do you want me to go and check on her?"

She shook her head. "I'll...do it. T-tell Liz what...happened."

She walked in, seeing Alex curled up into a ball, seemingly inconsolable. She walked closer, kneeling in front of her, remaining silent, wanting to help, but, now, more than ever, lost as to how.

Alex seemed to sense her and lifted her head, looking at her for a moment as sobs escaped her mouth before she buried her head Olivia's shoulder.

Carefully, she wrapped her arms around her, pulling her as close as she could. "Sshh. I love you," she whispered. "I've got you. I won't let go," she said, rubbing her back.

"I want to go home. I don't want to stay here. Please, I want to go home."

Olivia helped her up and they walked out, Alex having a death-grip. "Elliot, we need the kids and then, to go home."

"You guys go home. I'll call Liz and get her to drop the kids off."

"Uh...ok, but you drove us."

"I know, but I umm...need to stay," He motioned to the interrogation room apologetically. "Munch will give you guys a lift. He's waiting downstairs."

Olivia nodded. "Thank you." They walked into the lift, riding in silence.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Can I ask some of you to check out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	31. Sick

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 31: Sick**

Alex spent several days in bed after that visit, tears even more ready to fall than they'd been before. She'd asked Olivia to move Serena's cot into their room, and Georgia often fell asleep on their bed, one of the many tactics Alex had found to stop Olivia asking her anything about what had happened.

Olivia woke one night, two weeks later, the feeling of warmth that Alex normally gave gone, and squinted in the darkness, seeing her sitting on the edge of the bed.

She sat up, moving to sit beside her, but only said, "I'm here," through the darkness.

Alex turned her head a little towards her, but didn't speak, turning her head back to look into the cot again.

Olivia got up and, very carefully, carried the sleeping infant over.

Alex held her arms to herself. "I don't want to touch her."

Olivia nodded, still rocking her gently. "She's still _ours_, Alex," she said softly.

Alex pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on them, closing her eyes. Olivia wasn't expecting her to speak, she rarely had recently, but suddenly she spoke. "I didn't remember. I didn't know. How could I not remember?"

Carefully, she laid Serena back in her cot and walked back over. "Shock, anxiety, fear. Alex, you probably blocked it out. You've dealt with...cases, many cases, where it occurred, but no one ever imagines...until it does."

"Can….will you...Hug me?"

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her tightly. "I love you. And, when you're ready and _only_ then, I want to know, okay? What else can I do?"

Alex wrapped her arms around her, burying her head in her neck. "Don't give up on me."

"Baby, I'll never do that. Someday, it's gonna feel better. Someday, we'll be together again."

Suddenly, Serena gave a chuckle. Her first ever.

Olivia smiled. "Did you hear that?"

Alex shook her head, sniffing. "What?"

"It's nothing bad," Olivia assured, taking her hand. "Come back to me."

Serena chuckled again, watching the mobile above her bed.

"Listen," she whispered.

She did it again, and Alex gave a quiet laugh, resting against Olivia.

Olivia kissed her cheek. "Can I move Georgia back to her own bed?"

Alex shook her head, but crawled back up the bed, climbing in, this time on the same side as Olivia.

Olivia climbed in next to her, feeling a bit better as Alex turned to wrap her arms around her and lay her head on her shoulder. "Do you want me to sing you to sleep too?"

"Yes please."

"When you're weak, I'll be strong, when you let go, I'll hold on, when you need to cry, I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes, when you feel lost and scared to death, like you can't take one more step, just take my hand, together we can do it, I'm gonna love you through it…"

When Olivia went quiet, she found Alex asleep, a smile on her face.

Olivia sighed, her hands continuing to rub her back.

* * *

The next morning when Olivia awoke, she felt something heavy on her stomach, and when her eyes flickered open, she found both Alex and Georgia resting their heads on her, Alex lifting Serena into the air, and every time she hovered in the air, Serena gave a squeal and giggle.

"Morning," she said stretching, "and how are my three favorite girls?"

Alex hovered Serena over Olivia, and she gave a delighted squeal, grinning at her.

She smiled. "Hi baby girl. You're happy huh?"

Georgia rolled over to smile at Olivia. "Mummy said she'll come and pick me up from school with Serena, and then we can all go to the park." Sensing something different over the past few weeks, Georgia had finally started calling them Mommy all the time.

Olivia hugged her tight and kissed her cheek. "Why don't you go get dressed?"

She raced from the room as Alex lay Serena on Olivia and rolled over to look at her.

Olivia brought Serena up to rest her head on her heart and, like always she was quiet, sucking on her fingers. She looked at Alex. "I won't get into...but as far as last night, are you feeling any better?" she asked, caressing her cheek.

Alex didn't reply directly to her question, just dropped a kiss to her hand. "Are you going in to work today or will you come with us to the park?"

"I'll go with you, but it's when she's out of school, right? What would like to do until then?"

"…I thought you were starting back at work today?"

"Oh...yeah," she rubbed her head, "guess I forgot...I could just work until she's out of school."

Alex nodded before rising to her feet. "Stay there, I did something for you last night."

"For me?"

"Well, kind of, at least." She gave a smile before leaving the room.

Olivia sat up in bed, holding Serena in her arms, who gurgled happily, grasping her fingers. "You're a pretty girl. Just like me and your Mommy."

A few minutes later, Alex returned, hands behind her back. "Ok. Are you sitting comfortably?"

"Should I lay Serena back in her cot?"

"No, it involves her too." Alex sat on the bed in front of them.

She nodded. "Okay."

Serena looked at Alex intently, ready for her breakfast. Alex dropped a kiss to her head before producing a bottle from behind her back. "I used that horrible pump thing last night so you could feed her before you went to work."

Olivia smiled, scooting up a bit, taking the warm bottle from her. "Sit behind me?"

Alex shook her head. "This is just for you two. I'm going for a shower."

She pouted. "Well, do I at least get a kiss?"

Alex dropped a gentle kiss to her lips before disappearing from the room.

Olivia repositioned Serena in her arms. "Ready for breakfast, little girl?"

* * *

By the time Alex returned, Serena had been sick on their bed and Olivia was looking flustered, trying to get dressed and cleaned up by the time Elliot arrived. She stood in the doorway for a moment smiling before walking in. "Nice look, leather jacket and baby sick."

She scoffed. "Will you please help me? I'm sorry...I think I fed her too much or too fast or...oh our bed!"

Alex smiled, looking in the cot to check Serena was asleep before turning to Olivia, slipping her jacket off her shoulders. "Change your shirt and go and get ready. I'll sort out the jacket and the bed."

Olivia hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek. "Thank you. Maybe...I could do that again, but, uh, with a little less milk?"

Alex smiled, then pushed her towards the closet. "Maybe. Now get changed. You smell terrible."

Olivia grabbed a shirt from a hanger and went into the bathroom. She changed her shirt, combed her hair and brushed her teeth, walking out. She went to the kitchen and poured Georgia a bowl of cereal with milk, setting it on the table before standing in the doorway. "Your breakfast is on the table," she said, walking back to their room.

"Who's taking me to school?" She looked into their room with a frown.

Simon had finally found his own apartment and had moved in over the weekend.

"Uh, I have to be to work...Alex?"

Alex looked pained. She'd managed to psych herself up to going out later, with Olivia, but the thought of going out alone with the kids still terrified her. "I'll…go across the hall and see if you can go with Liam."

Olivia nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

When Alex opened the door, Simon was standing there. "Is my favorite niece ready for school yet?"

"She...I thought you'd—"

"You thought I'd forget my girl now I've moved? Never!" as he accepted Georgia throwing herself at him for a hug, he winked at Alex. Things had calmed between them recently, and now they even seemed to have a grudging friendship.

Olivia walked out holding Serena. "Ah Simon. How's the new place? Quieter than here I bet."

"Much. I've had to leave the TV on for company."

She smiled. "Do you have two minutes to see your other niece?"

"Liv, she—" The only words Alex managed to get out before Serena was sick on her again.

Olivia sighed. "Take her. Simon, if you wanted to stop by later, feel free. I need to change...again! Have a great day!" she said, racing back to change before Elliot arrived.

* * *

Olivia found herself thinking about Alex and the kids most of the day, wanting to get back to them. Sensing she didn't have her whole mind on the job, Elliot told her his first week back after their first child, he'd gone to the toilet every hour to call Kathy to check up, and then had gone home at lunch to check up on them.

"Would you be okay if I cut the day short? She was pretty sick this morning and I bet it's driving Alex mad right about now. Or...at least, call?" she asked as they pulled up to a witness's house. "Ugh! Great! This jacket still reeks of baby vomit."

Elliot chuckled. "Welcome to the past decade of my life."

She sighed. "It's not cold out. Maybe I'll just—" before she could finish the sentence, her phone rang Alex's name flashed on her ID. "Hey."

"She's still sick, Liv. I think she has a temperature. I made a doctor's appointment, but..."

"But what?"

"I'm scared to go out."

"How long until the appointment?"

"An hour."

"Hang on," she put her hand over the speaker. "Think we'll be done here in under an hour? Serena's still sick, so Alex made a doctor's appointment, but she needs me to go with her."

Elliot gave a sigh, glanced up at the house, then gave a nod. "Shouldn't take too long."

"I know, I know, but ever since the line-up she's been terrified to go out alone, El. She was in bed for two weeks straight. I could barely get her to eat and, even then, it was for the baby's sake. I need to be there for her."

"..We should be done in 20, then I'll drop you home."

"Alex, I should be home in about half an hour."

"Ok." Alex was near tears, holding Serena close as she whimpered.

"Alex, try to calm down. Why don't you try rocking her 'til I get home?"

"I have, it's not working, I...just...be as quick as you can, okay?" Alex hung up the phone.

Olivia hung up, stuffing it in her pocket. "Let's go."

* * *

When Olivia got home, she could hear Serena crying before he'd even entered the apartment. Alex was sitting with her in the rocking chair, holding her close, but Serena's face was red with tears.

Olivia walked into the room, kneeling in front of Alex who was close to tears. She kissed her hand. "Should we go?"

Alex nodded, handing Serena to her, hoping she'd have her usual calming effect, but she just continued to scream.

Olivia rocked her in her arms while Alex donned her jacket. "Who's driving?"

"Will you?" Alex wiped her tears on her sleeve, grabbing Serena's bag and another of her blankets.

Olivia hugged her, kissing her nose. "Yes."

Serena had gone quiet by the time they reached the doctor's and, swaddled in blankets, her eyes were now beginning to close. Giving a sniff, Alex gave a half smile as Olivia opened the door for them. "Typical."

They walked into the office. Olivia sat down with Serena as Alex talked to the nurse.

A short while later, they were ushered into the doctor's office. Serena still with Olivia, the doctor checked her over there, gave a nod and sat behind his desk before turning to Alex.

"And how are you?"

She glanced at Olivia. "..Fine."

Olivia took her hand. "I'm doing okay. How's our little girl? I just thought she ate too much..."

"She has an ear infection. Nothing to worry about. I'll give you a prescription for some drops, and she can take some baby pain killers. The pharmacist will recommend which ones are best. She might have trouble sleeping for a few nights, be a bit clingy, but she'll be fine."

Olivia nodded. "Anything else?"

He looked at Alex for a moment, then asked Olivia. "Would you mind taking Serena out to the nurse? Just to weigh her, check everything else is going ok?"

Olivia nodded, squeezing Alex's hand before standing up. "Of course." She left the room.

Alex was in there for well over half an hour, and when she came out, her eyes were red. She took the baby gently from Olivia and held her close. "We better go. We'll just have time to get to the chemist before school finishes."

Olivia nodded, grabbing the bag as they walked out. "Alex? What happened?"

Alex dropped a kiss to Serena's head. "Has my baby got sore ears? Poor girl."

Olivia wrapped an arm around her. "Okay, but later, I'd like to know. No one makes my wife cry and gets away with it," she said as they walked to the chemist's. "Excuse me?" she said once they reached the counter.

* * *

That night, it was 1am before Serena went to sleep. Alex crawled into bed beside Olivia, hoping she was asleep, having seen her set her alarm for 6am the next morning.

Olivia rolled over, wrapping an arm around her. "Hi," she kissed her bare shoulder.

"Go to sleep, Liv. You need to get up soon." Alex dropped a kiss to her cheek.

Olivia sighed. "I was...just trying to make you feel better."

Alex sighed as well, her had snaking under the covers to clasp Olivia's. She was silent for a few moments before she spoke, "The doctor wanted me to speak to someone about what happened. I said I didn't want to. He asked if I told you...I said no. Eventually...I agreed to speak to George. He still see's Georgia once every couple of weeks, so I guess I can just go with her."

She sighed again, pulling away. "Whatever helps. I'd hoped I would be the first person you would tell, but if you need to talk to him before me," she rolled on her other side, "by all means."

Alex hesitated before moving towards her, wrapping an arm over her and kissing her neck. "Liv, I...I'm scared to talk to you about it. I don't want you to start seeing me as one of your victims. You already feel the need to look after me more than you should have to."

"But I want to know. To help. What's so bad about that? Don't you trust that, after all the others I've helped, I can help you even more? Alex, what happened to you is...horrendous, but I want to be here for you. You're not a victim. You're my wife and I love you," she turned onto her back.

"Do you really want to know? Do you want to think about that every time you look at me forever?"

"If it helps you..." she pulled her close."I don't see that, not then, not now. All I see is a woman who needs the right sort of support to get back up and keep fighting. You're so strong, Lex, and I can't imagine how much that broke your confidence. But the first step is talking about it. I just...I see you, my wife, mother of our two wonderful, beautiful children and...It hurts that you won't let me help take your pain away."

Alex gazed down at her for a long time, not noticing when silent tears began to fall. Finally, quietly, she began to tell Olivia what happened. She buried her head in the brunette's hair and held onto her tightly, her body shaking.

Olivia sighed, holding her tightly as she finished. "That's not true," she contradicted. "I'll always love you and Serena. I promise."

"I know. Just sometimes...I'm scared you'll suddenly think of what happened and...I could have fought him off, Liv, but I was protecting my belly. I could have stopped him, but..."

"I won't. Never. I'm glad you protected her. Even though...that happened. You knew she was more important. You love her."

Alex let out a long breath, the burden she'd been carrying on her shoulders for so long lifting, shared. "So you don't think I was being…weak?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, just the opposite. You were strong. You did what you had to do to protect her."

Alex smiled, her biggest fear finally gone. She caressed Olivia's arm for a moment, before wiping the remainder of the tears from her face and giving a soft laugh. "You have to get up in two hours."

"Eh...doesn't matter. Will you let me kiss you for a bit?"

Alex gave a slow nod, "Then... maybe I can make another bottle, if you want to feed Serena again before you go to work? Maybe in your pajamas."

Olivia kissed her slowly, her hands running up and down her back, nowhere in particular, moaning her name and love for her, though being careful not to let her drive take control.

Alex relaxed into her, sighing her name.

As she heard that though she gently laid Alex to the side, sitting up. "I-I ca-want, but you...an-and I promised I..." her hands balled to fists in the sheets.

Alex lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not ready."

Olivia nodded, stroking her cheek. "I know. That's why I stopped and laid you to the side. And that's perfectly okay. I'll wait as long as it takes. I'm just...happy you've got a bit of your old self back…"

Alex sat up and kissed her gently again before standing. "You get some sleep. I have some things to do."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

_Lyrics "I'm Gonna Love You through It" by Martina McBride from 'Eleven'_

Can I ask some of you to check out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14, jba42 & tummer22

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	32. Allure

**WARNING: This chapter contains adult content.**

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 32: Allure**

About a month later, Olivia had almost finished up work for the day. Alex had become a bit more open, but was still afraid of going out alone but - in the city and after her experience - Olivia couldn't blame her. They were finally going to dinner and had agreed anything after was completely up to Alex. Elliot and Kathy had agreed to watch the kids for the night.

"Hey, what's a nice, quiet little restaurant around here?" Olivia asked.

"Quiet restaurant in New York?" Elliot asked.

"And one that won't give you food poisoning." Munch pointed out. "I would say that you're looking for something that doesn't exist."

Olivia sighed. "True, but I just need a place to take Alex where not many people would be at tonight."

"Well, it's a Thursday, there used to be this little place I went, but it's about a half hour drive out of the city," Elliot offered. "And you can't mention it to Kathy because it's where I used to take my girlfriends."

Olivia smiled. "Give me a name and directions and I'll forget the last part."

He gave her the information from memory, grinning. "I always got lucky after going there."

"You did, sure, but I'm not too sure. I'm leaving everything up to her," she said, pulling on her jacket and putting the paper in her pocket. "Thanks."

* * *

By the time she got home, Kathy had already picked up the kids, and Alex's clothes were all over the bedroom as she tried to pick out something to wear. Aside from her chest, her body didn't even look like she'd had a child, but here she stood in matching, lacy underwear that Olivia hadn't seen before, looking at herself critically in the mirror.

"Wow," she gave a whistle, "I think I've seen you somewhere before."

Alex jumped, pulling a shirt to hold it in front of her. "I thought you weren't coming home for another hour!"

"I finished early. Would you prefer I went out for another hour?" she asked, smiling at her.

"Just...leave the room while I get dressed. Please."

She sighed. "Okay, but you'll always be my beauty queen."

Alex took another half an hour getting dressed. When she finally walked out, Olivia's eyes travelled up her body from her high heels to her tight skirt, to her slightly see-through top, and her...Olivia swallowed hard.

"...Uh, hi...uh, wow..." she stammered.

"Is it ok?"

"...Okay? More like drop-dead gorgeous...sexilicious..."

Alex smiled, blushing a little. "You can kiss me if you want."

Olivia walked up, picked her up and kissed her while spinning in a circle.

Alex laughed, kissing her back. "You better get changed. I'm not going out with you dressed like that."

Olivia sat her on her feet. "Any requests?"

Alex bit her bottom lip. "I've put it on the bed."

She winked, patting just above her bum as she walked back.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they were in the car, Olivia trying hard to remember Elliot's directions as Alex sat next to her, kissing the corner of her mouth.

Olivia smiled, kissing her hand as they left the loudness and city lights behind them. "It should take about half an hour to get there, so...if you want to nap..."

"Mm-hmm." Alex dropped another kiss to the side of her mouth. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

Alex's hand slid down her, then back up again slowly.

Olivia's breath caught in her throat. "A-Alex..." she said.

"I don't want to wait 'til after we eat to show you how much I love you."

She looked over, hesitant. "Are you sure?"

"I don't…not me. I want to show you."

"What do you mean?"

"…pull over."

She nodded, doing so and killing the engine.

Alex kissed the corner of her mouth again, undoing her belt.

Olivia maneuvered over the center console into her seat, letting Alex take the lead.

Alex caressed her arms for a moment, smiling. Reaching down, she undid the button of Olivia's jeans.

Olivia's eyes rolled closed, her mouth hanging in a sigh as her hands rested on Alex's thighs. "B-be careful."

"Just relax, Liv, and enjoy. I'll look after you." She dropped a kiss to her lips as her hand slid into her underwear.

Olivia moaned, wrapping an arm around her neck, gasping and becoming wet with need as Alex's fingers took to the task of expertly caressing her.

Alex smiled, kissing her gently as she continued to do everything she knew Olivia liked. "I love you."

"I...mmm..." she wanted it so bad, but wanted Alex with her more. She pulled her hand out, breaking the kiss and looking her in the eye. "I love you too. But...I want to come with you. I know you're not ready, but... I guess what I'm trying to say is, I really, really want...right now, but I'd love it even more if you were with me."

Alex sighed, caressing her thigh again, lowering her eyes as she blushed. "Ok."

"Okay? What does that mean?"

"I want to do this. I want to feel it. Through you."

"How?"

Alex sighed, resting back against the door. "I just thought…maybe...if I made you feel...I might...it's ok. Let's just go to dinner."

Olivia shook her head, rubbing her shoulders. "No, baby, come on," she whispered against her cheek, kissing it. She pulled back, a look of warm desire. "I need you with me."

Alex nodded, looking out the window.

Olivia cupped her chin. "We could go back to the house. It's all up to you."

"Dinner."

Olivia nodded, kissing her sweetly moving back over to her seat, starting the car and driving to their destination.

Alex was silent the rest of the way there, staring out the window.

Olivia pulled up to the small diner, stopping the engine. "I...I want you to feel comfortable, not be pressured because I want it. Both of us should want the same thing. I want to love you, not just... for lack of a better phrase, 'bang the hell out of you'."

Alex slid from the car, folding her arms and leaning against her door.

Olivia got out, standing by her side and extending her hand. "Would you like something to eat?"

"I guess so." she let Olivia take her hand.

Olivia led her inside, to a back table and pulled out her chair. The place was quaint, soft. The tables were spaced far apart and the entire place was illuminated by candlelight. Olivia smiled as she pushed in her chair and took the seat opposite of her.

Alex looked down at the table for a moment before reaching across the table, taking Olivia's hand and threading their fingers together.

Olivia smiled, kissing her hand. "I'm sorry."

"When I...help you...I sometimes...enjoy myself…and I just thought…maybe…it would help relax me."

She nodded. "Makes sense, but a car...too cramped."

"I guess so." She gave a small smile.

The waiter came over, dressed in a nice suit and tie, handing two menus. "I'll give you a few minutes to decide." He walked away.

Alex looked over the menu, her hands shaking, then put it down. "I'm too nervous! I CAN'T even read!"

Olivia took it from her. "Nervous? Why?"

"I feel like I did on our first date...I wanted to kiss you, I wanted to hug you, I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to cry, I wanted to dance, I wanted to get drunk…in fact I think I did get drunk."

"Yeah, I little, but you don't need to be nervous. Everything is up to you."

"I just want…everything to be perfect."

Olivia smiled, rubbing her hand. "It will be. Now, what are you hungry for that they can make? Italian?"

Alex nodded. "You pick. Whatever you think I'll like. Have I mentioned today that I love you?"

Olivia shook her head.

"I love you, Olivia Benson."

"Why?"

"Because you are amazing. Your mind, your body, your...hands, your arms…what was I talking about?"

"Why you love me... Hmm, the ravioli looks good."

"And the way you make me feel so relaxed, and the backrubs you give, and your kisses, and your hands...your hands..."

Olivia smiled, rubbing up and down Alex's arms. "What about my hands?"

Alex had her eyes closed, a small smile on her face. "I love your hands. When they-" She gave a sigh, thinking.

Olivia looked over, seeing the waiter had returned. "Two plates of ravioli with marinara, please and a bottle of this." She pointed to the wine.

He nodded, taking the menus and walking away.

Alex was still sitting with her eyes closed, a smile still on her face.

Olivia brought her hand to her lips, kissing it. "What are you thinking about?"

"Your hands."

"Mhm, what about them?"

"In my pants."

"Wow, sounds appealing, rubbing those muscular thighs, kissing that spot, nibbling on it, your hands in my hair..."

Alex nodded, imagining it, her eyes opening finally, full of desire. "I know we just ordered, and I know it took ages to get here but…home?"

She stood, putting up a hand. She walked over. "Excuse me, is there any way we can get those to take with us?"

"Sure. It will still be another 10 minutes."

She nodded. "Alright. Can we get that wine now, please?"

He gave a nod, returning to the table with her and pouring wine. Alex kept her eyes trained on Olivia.

Olivia smiled. "Thank you. It'll still be about ten minutes, so I figured why waste good wine?"

"I want to kiss you right now."

Olivia scooted the chair closer to her. "Better?"

Alex captured her lips, tugging her closer still.

Olivia took her hands, kissing her deeply, moaning a bit into her lips.

When the waiter returned 10 minutes later, he had to clear his throat to separate them.

Olivia pulled back, grabbing the containers and paying, "Thank you."

Alex was by the car first, pushing Olivia against it and kissing her as she tried to unlock the doors.

Olivia unlocked Alex's door, pushing her in and slamming the door before walking over to the driver's side and getting in.

Alex was on her once more, kissing her, knocking the food from her hands.

Olivia set them on the dashboard, carefully. "A-Alex...wait until we get home so we can have more space, okay?"

Alex sat back, breathless, taking one of Olivia's hands and holding it between her own, caressing it.

* * *

Inside the apartment, Alex pushed Olivia against the front door, kissing her hard. She didn't know why thinking about Olivia's hands had suddenly changed her mind, but all she could think about now was getting those hands on her body.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, lifting her up, groaning as Alex wrapped her legs around her hips. "...B-bed?"

Alex nodded, ripping the front of Olivia's top.

Olivia walked with her and laid her on the bed, before turning around and going over to close the door before walking back over. "So?"

"Your hands. On me. Now."

"Where on you? I...don't want to scare you," she said, lying next to her, "guide me."

"Do...what you used to. I trust you."

"Baby, I...don't know how good of an idea that is. I...won't just want to use my hands, but if you say you just want me, that's fine," she stripped herself of her ripped shirt, "but tell me now."

"I trust you Liv. I promise. I'll tell you if I feel uncomfortable."

Olivia nodded, her hands sliding under Alex's top, throwing it to the floor as she placed kisses all over her face, jaw, neck and collarbone. "Bra?"

"Take it off." Alex's long fingers laced themselves in Olivia's hair.

Olivia sat her up, pressing herself against her and unclasping it, before throwing it to the floor, smiling as she felt Alex doing the same for her.

Alex gave a soft moan as they were pressed together then suddenly pushed Olivia away.

Olivia stayed where she was after Alex pushed her away, but looked on, puzzled. "What happened? I'm sorry if I..."

Alex raised to her knees. "Nothing, nothing. I just…lie down."

Olivia raised a brow, but did as she asked.

Alex straddled her thighs and looked down at her for a moment before pulling Olivia's hands up to her chest, reaching down to caress her tight stomach.

She moaned, rubbing her breasts in circles, watching Alex's expression.

Alex's eyes flickered shut, enjoying the feeling, preferring being on top and knowing she could get away at any point.

Olivia noticed her brows were knit together one second then apart the next as if indecisive. She rested her hands on her shoulders. "If you're still this afraid, maybe we shouldn't..." It wasn't that she didn't enjoy the view or sensations. It was that Alex's movements were hesitant, like she was afraid that if she went too far, Olivia wouldn't stop if it became too much.

"No! I'm not…" She sighed, her eyes opening. She took Olivia's hands between her own. "I want to. I don't want to be scared anymore. Please."

She nodded. "I know that, but I already trust you. This...should be about you trusting me. Unless you figure if I'm like this, you'll be more relaxed."

"I do trust you, I just…I don't know what's wrong. I want this."

"You or me? If you, honestly, without a doubt, want this, continue. You know I'll wait as long as you want. I don't want it to be one-sided."

Alex let out a long breath, looking down at Olivia, then she moved off her, laying next to her, "I'm ready."

She smiled. "I don't mean to push you."

Alex grasped her hand and pulled her closer, kissing her again.

Olivia kissed her hard on the lips, but pushed her jeans down and off, including her boxers before lying closer to Alex, kissing her.

Alex kissed her harder, her hands caressing Olivia's strong thighs.

Olivia moaned, missing her hands the past months, growing louder, the kisses harder.

Her hands slid between her thighs, her own thighs opening a little, offering entrance.

Olivia's fingers rubbed her thighs, soon noticing she was commando. She rubbed along Alex's clit, feeling her jump. She kissed harder, her hand pulling back and resting on her thighs.

They went slowly at first, Olivia stopping every time Alex jumped, but eventually Alex was lying back, moaning Olivia's name, her whole body relaxed except for one hand that gripped tightly to her hair. "Oh god!"

Olivia smiled, sucking on her neck, her fingers speeding up. "Come on, sweetie. I love you. Please come for me."

Alex kept repeating Olivia's name, her hand tightening in her hair, then for a moment she went still before her body arched into Olivia, her blue eyes seeking brown as she went over the edge.

Olivia kissed her neck, pulling away slowly. "You...feel...so...good..."

Alex caught her breath, her eyes still glued to Olivia, a smile on her face.

Olivia smiled, wiping her fingers on a nearby towel. "I guess you were ready, but are you ready for what I like?"

Alex's smile turned into a grin and she nipped the spot on Olivia's neck that made her knees go weak. "I don't know. I'm a bit hungry..."

She inhaled sharply as she opened her legs. "Please."

"Well, I did mean for Italian, but if you're really desperate..." She nipped the spot again.

Olivia smiled, sitting against the headboard. "We could do that."

Alex moved down the bed, dropping kisses as she did so, and when she hovered between Olivia's legs, she looked up at her. "Well, if you want..."

"Alex please...I n-need you. Now."

Alex reached up one hand to lock it with Olivia's again, and then lowered her head.

She gasped, moaning her name again and again, still wet from before they went into eat. "Alex...Alex..."

Alex entered two fingers into her, humming against her, sending vibrations through her body.

"A-ALEX!" she screamed.

Alex returned to her, kissing her gently.

Olivia smiled, catching her breath. "I love you, honey. Would there be any way you could consider...letting me..."

"Letting you what?" Alex kissed her once more.

"Use our special toy?"

Alex bit her lip, lowering her eyes. "…Not today."

She nodded, kissing her. "It's okay. We've done a lot tonight and, as long as you're okay, I know we'll get there again."

Alex smiled, moving her hand up to massage Olivia's stomach for a moment before sitting up. "Dinner? Shower? Another Orgasm?"

She smiled. "I would love another, but I am pretty hungry."

Alex stood, wrapping a sheet around herself. "I'll heat it up."

Olivia sat back. "Eat in here?"

"I thought I just did?" Alex grinned before slipping from the room.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Can I ask some of you to check out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Kikilia14 & jba42

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


	33. Printed

For the Best of Our Years

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 33: Printed**

Two months later, Olivia was sitting up in bed arguing with Elliot. "No, Elliot, she won't come in just because someone requested her!"

"Liv, we really need her. The girl only came to us because she specifically wanted Alex's help."

"I still don't think she'll do it. Besides, we've got the kids to think of. Georgia goes to school, but-"

"So have Kathy watch Serena. Is that so hard?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Just ask her. I'm sure she's itching to get back into it."

She sighed. "Fine."

Alex walked into the room drying her hair, wearing only a vest and underwear, a yawn escaping as she looked outside.

"Morning," Olivia said as she closed the phone, throwing it on the bed.

"Morning." Alex looked up at the sky before turning to her. "Elliot?"

She nodded. "We need you apparently," she said, patting a spot next to her.

Alex groaned. "Liv, I'm not due back for months yet, and there's a replacement there!"

"That's what I said, but he said there's a young girl who only came to us because she wanted your help."

Alex gave a sigh before moving to where Olivia had patted, letting her continue to dry her hair. "What's her name?"

"Sasha, 16, raped on her way from the dorms. And...I think Elliot said there's a connection to one of the judges, so that's probably how she knows about you. Come on, if you were her, would you want to tell what happened to a male ADA? I wouldn't."

Alex gave another sigh. "What about Serena? You know she's not happy with other people yet, and she's not on bottles all day yet, and who's going to get Georgia from school?"

"Kathy can watch Serena...or I could, but I have to go in too. I'll call Simon and have him grab Georgia." She took her hand. "She needs to get used to different people Alex because someday you will be back like you used to be." She wrapped her arm around her, resting her head on her shoulder.

Alex sighed. "I know. I just…wasn't thinking of going back yet. But if they asked for me personally." She turned to glance at Olivia for reassurance. "Do you think I've still got it?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, and I think this early case will help with your confidence. Of course I know you've still got it," she kissed her cheek.

Alex smiled turning her head to capture Olivia's lips. "Well, you sort out something business like for me to wear, and I'll go and sort out the kids. And tell Elliot he owes me."

Olivia kissed her again, running her hands through her still-damp hair. She smiled. "I hope something still fits with your chest like it is, but I'll try to find something, okay?"

"If not, I can always wear one of yours. Not that I could concentrate if I smelt of..." Her eyes closed and a smile came to her face.

Olivia smiled. "Okay, go and get the kids sorted out..." she said, mostly interested in watching her walk from the room.

"In a minute, I'm thinking of last night."

"Oh, well in that case." Olivia pulled her close, kissing her and her hands running down her back, loving the feel as she always did.

Alex groaned her name, pushing her away. "If we start that again, neither of us will ever get in."

Olivia kissed her hand. "Yeah...you're just too good to know better."

* * *

An hour later, a smart looking Alex walked into the precinct behind Olivia, feeling self-conscious in heels and a suit. She pulled down the shirt she was wearing and looked down for the hundredth time because she didn't believe Olivia when she told her it didn't show too much.

Olivia turned around. "Will you stop doing that? Elliot said the judge knows you've been on maternity leave and that this is a special case. He's not going to hold it against you, but he won't have to."

"You try going from practically flat to these and see how you feel in a tight shirt with a room full of men!" Alex hissed at her.

Olivia patted her shoulder. "You'll do fine. Just...redirect the anger into your argument. Elliot, where is she?"

Elliot glanced at Alex, getting a glare in return, before pointing to an interview room.

"Elliot..."

He watched Alex take a couple of steps away before leaning towards Olivia, "Breast feeding doing wonders, hey!"

She nodded. "Yeah, but, personally, I liked how she was before, more actually, but I'm not complaining."

Alex, not yet out of ear shot, spun around.

Olivia arched a brow. "What? He started it."

This earned Olivia a glare as well before she stalked into the interview room.

Olivia sighed. "Just can't win."

"Welcome to my world, Benson."

She nodded. "You know, I never did take you for that drink..."

"I'm free tonight."

She nodded. "I'll just stay a little later then."

* * *

Later that day, as she was walking to get some coffee, Olivia found herself pushed up hard against a wall, Alex holding her shirt tightly, but any ideas she had disappeared when she saw the anger flashing in her eyes. "You think it's ok to discuss my body with your colleagues? You think it's appropriate? You think I want a room for of sweaty men thinking about me while they eat their donuts?"

She shook her head. "I was disagreeing with him. I...thought you were perfect just like you were before you were pregnant, but...I was wrong."

Alex shoved a scrunched up piece of paper into her chest before pushing herself off her. "I don't care what you think anymore because you are never getting near my body again." She left the room and slammed the door on her way out.

She turned, walking back to her desk. "I think I'll be staying for a couple drinks tonight."

Elliot grinned before picking up the piece of paper Alex had left. Giving a whistle, he threw it on Olivia's desk. It was Alex's face stuck on a naked, large breasted woman's body. "I glanced at one of these in the men's early. Didn't realize who it was..."

She sighed again. "What the hell? I haven't—I didn't—Ugh! How the hell do I come back from this?!"

Elliot gave a shrug. "Taking them down from the office board and all the toilet cubicle doors would be a start."

She nodded, grabbing them from those spots and going back to her desk. "You know, they're all the same, so..."

Elliot was holding one, looking at it intently.

She pulled it from his grip, ripping it to shreds before filing it in File 13, along with all the others except one. "Do you want to help me figure this out or not?!"

* * *

The afternoon, Olivia received a curt message from Alex telling her she would need to deal with the children because she would be late at work. When Olivia tried to call her, her phone was off and despite their best attempts, no one was admitting who printed the photos, but everyone was willing to offer a comment on Alex's new silhouette.

Olivia sighed, calling Simon to grab Georgia from school as well as Kathy to say she might be later than planned. She now stood outside Alex's door, trying to think of what to say because she knew "I didn't say anything to anyone but Elliot and he would never do this" wouldn't work. Timidly, she knocked.

A grinning Trevor pulled open the door, his smile fading when he saw who it was.

"What are you doing here?!" she spat.

He went to reply, then instead stepped aside so she could see Alex, sitting on the edge of her desk, shoes off, retying her hair. With a smile, he passed Olivia and walked to the lift.

She leaned in the frame. "We've been trying to figure it out, if you, you know, even care anymore, but so far no luck."

Alex looked at her, almost through her, before finishing tying her hair, then slid from the table to move around her office, picking up various books and files.

She sighed. "Why would I ever do that to you? Give me a reason. We've...always agreed to keep it private."

"I'm sorry, detective, but as you can see, I'm working."

She sighed. "Fine, but you should know, after 9 years, that I would never try to sully your reputation like this. I would think you believe I love you more than that." And she left.

Alex stood still a moment before following her. Trevor was still in the hallway, looking smug at Olivia, as Alex knew he would, and she knew how much Olivia disliked him. "Liv, wait."

She turned, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. "Yeah?"

Alex, knowing Trevor's eyes were on them, approached her, resting her hands on her stomach and leaning forward to kiss her gently. "I know. We'll talk about it when I get home, ok baby?" At the use of the last word, Trevor's smug expression fell.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, kissing her once more. "Okay, you might need to pick up our little girl from Elliot's, okay?"

Alex nodded, still a little stiff in her arms, but determined to put on a show for Trevor for Olivia.

Olivia rubbed her back. "We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise. Out of curiosity, do you mind if I ask Liz what she knows?"

Alex hesitated, then leant forward to whisper in her ear. "Don't show her the picture."

Trevor bristled and stopped talking completely to his companion to watch them.

"Come with me. Get away from this."

"Then I'd have to bring work home." She dropped a kiss to Olivia's neck.

She smiled, letting Alex push her against the wall. "Mmmm, yeah. Just like that. You know just what I like."

Alex gave a slight giggle before pushing away. "You'll have to wait for more. I'll see you at home."

Olivia smiled, patting her bum. "Don't be too late."

Trevor glared at Olivia her whole way to the lift.

Olivia just smiled. She knocked on Liz's door.

"Come in!"

She walked in, closing the door. "Do you have a minute?"

She looked up, then sighed and rested back in her chair. "Only one."

"Well, there's a bit of a discrediting problem with Alex. I was wondering if you'd heard anything about it."

"I heard her door slam."

She sighed, sitting in front of her desk. "Well, there's something circulating...a printed picture, but she asked me not to show you because it's so demeaning. It's been on boards, all over the Men's room..."

Liz leant on her desk and thought for a moment before nodding. "I think I have an idea who it was. Let me deal with it."

"This person won't know I said anything? Would-would you like the picture for verification?"

She shook her head. "I won't let them know, although it won't be hard for them to guess."

She nodded. "I know, but I just...I feel horrible that I didn't know about it until now. When you've taken care of it, will you let me know?"

She gave a nod, then asked, "Are we still on for Saturday? Me taking Georgia out?"

"Yes. What time?"

"10?"

"Where to? Any specific type of dress?"

"Anything is fine."

She nodded, standing up. "Oh, by the way, I guess I should mention that we did the best we could 'publicly' to get Langan off her back, but I don't think it worked. Nothing too horrible..."

She gave another sigh, then nodded. "Ok. Your minute is up, Benson."

She nodded, walking toward the door, opening it. "Thanks." She then poked her head into Alex's office. "Hey, don't worry, okay? We'll get it."

Alex's stare had returned to icy, and she gave a curt nod.

"D-did I...am I in trouble?"

"I'm working."

She nodded. She walked away, returning a half hour later, placing a red rose at the base of the closed door, knocking, then slowly walking away, making sure Alex could see her.

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think?

Can I ask some of you to check out my Charmed/Law & Order:SVU crossover "No Truer Love"? Thanks in advance!

Review thanks to: peterpeter, Kikilia14, Jba42, deadlockQ, tummer22, Bkwrmchar & Cmoni

Please R&R!

**Lv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Sribbles**


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